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does anyone else feel like they're shit at having ana

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My therapy appt went relatively well, here are some things we went over-

-I tend to predict my own and other people's feelings/thoughts/actions and need to work on that, we've went over how destructive self-fulfilling prophecies can be.

-I'm going to have my stepmom hide the scale. There are two in the house and my dad doesn't use the one that I use so he probably won't notice it's gone.

-Every time I go to body check in the mirror, instead I'll say something positive (out loud) about myself. This hasn't worked for me in the past but I'm just humoring her w this tbh.

-I'm going to redo my watch face so it doesn't show me my steps/burnt calories/heart rate/shit like that (I hope that's possible lmao)

-I need to realize I'm not in control of my emotions, if pasta gives me anxiety then it gives me anxiety, but I am in control of my behaviors.

-I'm going to consider going back on a mood stabilizer or anti anxiety medication. It's very possible that anxiety is the root of this and medication could at least help?

-I'm going to come out to one of my friends and my stepmom about my €d. Some anxiety around this is hiding it from everyone, so maybe telling some trusted people will aid in reducing anxiety.

-Try to stop caring so much about the "They think/feel/say" and care more about the "I think/feel/say".

-I need to work on my perfectionism. That is causing anxiety and I need to realize that I can't be perfect and try to accept myself as I am.

I hope this finds some people who may be considering recovery and may help those who don't know where to start. I sure didn't.

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Lemme put yall on sum--

1 can of salmon (found it at target! where I live it's rly hard to find good seafood)- 90 cal

0.5 tbsp light mayo- 27.5 cal

3 crushed pork rinds- 25 cal

Total- 142.5 cals

Super filling! Good amt of protein and my hormonal cravings are like totally gone!

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Does anybody have any solutions when it comes to hormonal cravings?? When I ovulate/pms my cravings can't even be curbed by caffeine or acv, I just get full but my brain still yearns for chips ahoy. I wish I could take something to level out my hormones so they're not all over the place (already have an iud in so birth control pills are redundant) but fuck I can't keep eating everything 2.5 weeks out of the month. Help!!

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I wish they had like compressed sheets of freeze dried oreos

Like the packs of dried seaweed but instead they're oreos

That'd be a life saver fr

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Ordered a ton of Halloween themed clothes and I better not look fat in them or I'll km$

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Them: So where did your €d start?

Me:

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I'm so bad at recovery

I inhale handfuls of honeycomb cereal "this is fine I'm not gonna die everything's fine"

Then look up nutrition facts for a sugar free latte and scroll through thnspo

My therapy appt is tomorrow

Apparently I talked to her abt my €d like two years ago? Found that in a journal entry but I don't remember it at all tbh

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I fucking hate recovering

I hate feeling like a literal balloon every time I eat

I hate acting like I have my shit together, only to compulsively check nutrition labels when I grocery shop

I hate pretending like this makes me feel better

I hate silencing the voice in my head that adds and subtracts my calories and steps

I hate acting like I exercise and care about how high I force my heart rate to go because I want to be "healthy"

I hate pretending like I don't care that I'm gaining

I hate accepting food from people

I hate talking about food

I hate being around food

I just want to fucking starve

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I literally hate food and the concept of weight and diets. When I get a coffee with a friend I want to get a donut without feeling guilty about it. I want to eat 1 twinkle without binging afterwards cuz "I already messed up". I want to exercise to have fun and be healthy, not to burn calories. I want to buy clothes that fit me, not have to worry "oh well if I buy this dress in my current size then in a couple months it'll be too big so maybe I should just buy it in a size smaller". I want to eat without counting the calories. I hate the negotiating. "i could eat x calories today if I did this much exercise, i overate yesterday so today i need to starve, etc". I'm tired of trying to be perfect. I'm so FUCKING SICK OF IT. ALL OF IT. I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER I CANT FUCKING LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE

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Normies' fears: spiders, snakes, clowns, death

People with €ds:

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can anyone else just not take meanspo seriously

it just makes me laugh

like u sound so stupid rn i’m sorry 😭😭

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The scale: New Lw!!

The mirror: you look like this mf

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Having a small stomach is great bc it fills up fast but also sucks bc it empties fast

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starving in summer = skinny in september

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Just because the food is there does not mean you have to eat it.

Just because you’ve been offered food, does not mean you have to say yes and accept it.

Just because you’re craving an unhealthy food, does not mean you have to go out and buy it.

There are always other options for better results. The choice is always yours, and you decide your outcome.