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Alright, I gotta know

Note: This is all in reference to his sexual style.

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Crowley: *Spraying a Random Homeless Man with a Hose*

Aziraphale: Crowley! What are you doing?!

Crowley: This homeless man won't leave the bookshop, so I'm spraying him with dirty brown water.

God: What Crowley didn't know was that said homeless man was a famous author that also happened to be their next assignment.

Crowley: Goddamn it!

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Angel!Crowley: *Playing with Crowley’s Wings* I love this colour on us! It's just darling, isn't it Principality Aziraphale?

Aziraphale, trying not to laugh at Crowley’s Furious Expression: Yup. Absolutely, splendidly scrumptious.

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Aziraphale: Poor dear, this form says this human was injured by something called... "The Backshots of Doom"? It must have been horrid if it left him in such a dreary state.

Crowley, meanwhile: *Trying Not to Discorporate While Laughing His Ass Off*

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Anyone else in love with the idea that Crowley's wings go POOF! when Aziraphale does something that arouses/excites him?

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Aziraphale: Am I doing something wrong?

Crowley: No? Why? You're the nicest, smartest, most beautiful angel I've ever met! Your smile works wonders for our clients! It even... even makes me smile, too, on my bad days. Makes me feel like I'm important, despite our job description.

Aziraphale, blushing: ...I was talking about my crocheting, dear.

Crowley: Ah, that makes more sense.

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Crowley: We've had two big assignments in one day! I beg anyone listening that we get at least an hour of rest!

Aziraphale: Oh, come on, dear. It's not all bad. At least we get to spend time together!

Crowley: Yeah, I guess. I can never be upset when you're around.

God: Hello, boys! Are you ready for another exciting assignment?!?!?!?!?

Crowley: OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

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God: I have a new job for you two! One of my human children is upset because their parents are having a bit of discourse at the moment and would appreciate it if YOU could help!

Crowley: Help... solve family and potentially marital issues?

Aziraphale: That sounds like something we're perfectly capable of! Let's go, my dear! Family adventure!

God: And don't forget to kiss when you're done!

Aziraphale: Wh... what?

Crowley: If you say so, former mother! Come on angel, let's go!

God: Oh, yeah. They're definitely gonna have sex. Eventually.

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Hmm, Smiling Friends AU where Crowley and Aziraphale are based off Pim and Charlie and are employed by God to make others feel better about themselves and are quietly but also somehow openly gay for each other as they work with Muriel (Glep) and Nina (Alan)

Bitches be pining and having completely opposite views on their new job.

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Shii, imagine the Red Flags meme but instead of Crowley being Red like expected, it would be Aziraphale

I think it'd be funny if Aziraphale started talking about the most graphic, hedonistic, slightly pornographic book he has; meanwhile Crowley is both turned on and terrified by the convo.

Oh, and multiple eyes slowly start appearing on Azi's face the deeper he gets into the synopsis.

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Another self callout because I apparently have no self control (once again, y'all can thank @hg-aneh for this, hugs and hugs)

Y'ever think there'd be a situation where, if Crowley met his angel self he'd just... fuck him?

Y'know, jealousy and all. Wanting be the best version, thinking he'd be able to corrupt the guy to save the heartbreak, etc.

I dunno, I just think it's an interesting idea. Might even write about, you don't know. 👀

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Do y'all think, like...

Aziraphale, to Michael: And this is my friend Crowley. Don't worry about him trying to do anything bad, he's a good boy!

Crowley, shocked: *Incoherent Snake Sounds*

Michael: I think it's malfunctioning.

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Imagine if, for a day, Crowley and Aziraphale switched personalities.

Crowley: Oh, dear, do you think you could pass me my glasses?

Aziraphale: *Slew of Curses and Refusals*

Also Aziraphale: Here you go, sweetie.

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These (demon) fools can't read or spell for shit and the concept of angels begrudgingly being elementary school tutors for what's basically Gen Alpha is highly amusing to me

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A Compilation of Crowley and Aziraphale being 💫Freaky💫

Crowley, pointing at Azi's backside: *Casually* I ate that last night.

Aziraphale: CROWLEY!

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Nina: Hello Muriel, how's your day been? You don't normally visit without the boys.

Muriel, with a thousand-yard-stare: I had to get away.

Nina, concerned: Away from...?

Muriel: Mr. Crowley and Mr. Fell are currently... well... putting their Efforts to good use.

Nina: Putting their... *Bursts Into Laughter* OH, YOU POOR THING!

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Aziraphale: Crowley, love? Have you seen my sleep pants? I can't seem to find... them.

Crowley, with his hands down his (Aziraphale's) pants: No, I've no idea where they could be.

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Anathema: You two seem to be quite happy.

Aziraphale: Oh, we are. Just got back from a lovely holiday!

Newt: Oh? Where'd you go?

Crowley: Anyplace in the world I could lie flat on my back.

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Aziraphale: *Answers the Phone* A... A.Z. Fell and Co-OOOOH! Pardon me! H-how can I help you todAAAYYY!

Maggie: Uh... Nina and I wanted to know if you two were free for the evening? We were planning on going to the theater and thought it'd be fun to have a double date.

Aziraphale: Oh! That sounds positively lovelyyyyyy! Oh, Crowley! Slow down, love! I'm on the phone! You're going to hurt yourself!

Crowley: *Snatches the Phone* Hello there, based on... ngk, FUCK! Agh! Based on the angel's tone, you're a friend. So sorry you're getting such a lovely show without warning, but I advise you call back- SHIT! HARDER, THERE! Ugh... in about two hours!

Maggie: ...Two HOURS???

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Crowley, positively lovestricken: I love my angel.

Maggie, Nina, Muriel, Anathema, Newt, and Madame Tracy: We know.

Madame Tracy: I quite admire your stamina, dear Crowley. It seems similarly matched by your lover.

Anathema: Please don't encourage the behaviour, I've seen them fornicate on a park bench.

Newt: I've caught them in the loo when they were visiting.

Maggie: Next to the bookshop phone.

Nina: In front of a fire hydrant.

Everyone but Crowley and Tracy: A FIRE HYDRANT?!

Crowley: What can I say? He loves the Effort I give.

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@hg-aneh

Thank you kindly for making me HC that Crowley has a puppy-play kink. Very kind, I'll put it right next to the "Crowley is obsessed with his lover's stomach" HC.

No one will stop me!

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Aziraphale, uncharacteristically pissed off: *To Crowely* Listen to me, you glasses wearing, red-headed snake! If you don't get yourself together and leave those nuns alone, I am going to grab you by the wings and pluck each feather off slowly and torturously until you're begging for mercy from no God or demon, but me.

Crowley, blushing and drooling: Is this a bad time to say I'm dangerously hard right now?