thewittyambitiousdiyodyssey

[thewittyambitiousdiyodyssey]

Ah, Day Four of 2024, and already the universe has gifted me with a stylish eye infection - because who doesn't want to rock the 'Pirate Look' in January? It’s a fabulous addition to the 'working out yesterday' glow, which, by the way, is totally overshadowed by the sheer bliss of being home with my ever-cheerful mom. Her constant state of dissatisfaction with me? Just another day in paradise!

Diet update: I'm pioneering a new diet plan called 'Live a Little', featuring the best of cinema snacks. Yesterday, it was a masterclass in 'Slushie Sharing' with my boys at 'Trolls 3', followed by a gourmet course of butter-laden popcorn, chocolate-covered almonds, and a Reese's peanut butter cup. Who said dieting isn't fun?

Financial freedom? Let's just say my stocks are playing 'hard to get'. They’re like that crush in high school who knows you exist but just isn’t that into you. Yesterday was a crash course in humility, and today, they're flirting with the idea of recovery. But hey, optimism is my middle name!

House hunting update: my finances are playing an epic game of hide and seek, but the good news is, I applied for a loan! So, fingers, toes, and eyes (well, one eye) crossed.

And for my grand finale, the side hustle in crafting. Christmas décor is still up because every day is a holiday in my world. Four days into the new year, and the Magic 8 Ball is having a good laugh at my expense. But joke's on it, because I'm writing my own plot twist. Stay tuned!

[thewittyambitiousdiyodyssey]

Guardiano

On the second leg of my flight today, the last man of boarding Group One was a serviceman, matched stride for stride by his colossal teddy bear comrade-in-arms, nearly as tall as he was. Picture this: a fully booked flight with the serviceman assigned the front bulkhead row of coach class. Now, here's where the comedy begins – the flight attendants, in a high-stakes game of Tetris, had to squeeze this hulking plush into an already packed plane. The reason, I’m not sure if it was because our hero sat in the bulkhead row, or perhaps because the bear was simply too large or majestic to be confined.

The punchline? This furry giant ended up fashionably strapped into a jump seat at the plane's rear, like an off-duty fluffy air marshal. But the showstopper was our descent: the teddy bear, crowd-surfing back to its owner, in a heartwarming display of airborne camaraderie. It was as if the bear, a silent, fuzzy testament to the serviceman's journey, was saluted by every passenger. Each hand that passed it along seemed to acknowledge and honor the serviceman's story. A touching, slightly absurd scene that I'll remember for flights to come. (I did try to take a picture but I was too slow in actioning it).

Being in a four+ hour flight I obviously had lots of time to ponder. So I made up my own story about the bear titled Guardiano.

In a quaint village nestled among sage hills, there was a workshop famous for crafting the most extraordinary teddy bears. Among these, one was special: a giant bear with fur as soft as clouds and eyes twinkling with kindness. It was named Guardiano, for it was no ordinary toy; it was infused with the love and care of its creator, an elderly toymaker named Mr. Deathridge.

Guardiano was not meant for the shelves of a store. Mr. Deathridge had crafted it for his grandson, Lucas, who was deployed overseas in the military. Lucas, a man of great strength and courage, had always cherished a small teddy bear his grandfather gave him as a child. That bear had been his confidant and protector through many childhood adventures and fears.

When news reached the village that Lucas and his unit were facing challenging times, Mr. Deathridge decided it was time for Guardiano to fulfill its purpose. He believed that the bear would not only remind Lucas of home but also bring comfort to others who might need it.

The journey of Guardiano began with the village's children carrying it to the post office. From there, it traveled across seas and continents, drawing curiosity and smiles wherever it went. Finally, it arrived at the military base where Lucas was stationed.

Lucas was in the command center when he was called to receive an unusual package. As he walked towards the front of the plane where the package awaited, his men followed, intrigued by the giant box. When Lucas opened it, his stern, battle-hardened face softened into a smile. There was Guardiano, as large as life, staring back at him with its warm, inviting eyes.

The sight of the giant teddy bear in the middle of a military base was amusing and heartwarming. But for Lucas, Guardiano was more than a bear; it was a piece of home, a symbol of his grandfather's love, and a reminder of the innocence and peace he was fighting to protect.

Lucas shared the story of Guardiano with his unit. The bear quickly became a mascot and a source of comfort for the soldiers. They took turns sharing their worries and hopes with it, and in its silent, comforting presence, they found a piece of the home they all missed.

Guardiano's arrival not only lifted the spirits of Lucas and his unit but also reminded them of the personal connections and small joys that make life worth living, even in the most challenging circumstances. The bear, sewn together with threads of love and care, became a guardian not just in name, but in spirit, watching over the brave men and women who risked their lives every day.

And so, Guardiano, the giant teddy bear, found its place in the world – not on the shelf of a toy store, but in the hearts of those who needed its comfort the most.

[thewittyambitiousdiyodyssey]

A New Year A New Me?

Ah, the rollercoaster that was 2023 – a year where my ambitions soared higher than my flight from Buffalo to Phoenix. Picture this: me, armed with a list of goals so ambitious they'd make a self-help guru blush. Top of the list? Buying a humble abode in the sunny realms of Phoenix, shedding a cool 35 pounds (because why not?), diving into the DIY abyss with ideas pilfered from an ever-growing collection of 100,000 internet posts, and last but certainly not least, the holy grail of modern existence – financial freedom through the mythical beast known as passive income.

But here's the million-dollar question: Is passive income a realistic dream for your average Jane (I prefer Jane to Karen, it's got a nicer ring to it)? The internet, with its flashy ads and too-good-to-be-true promises, makes it seem like a walk in the park. Spoiler alert: it's not. Just watching one of those 'get rich quick' videos is enough to exhaust my entire being. And let's not forget my dear friend, AADD, always ready to whisk me away on a tangent at a moment's notice.

So, here we are, January 2nd, cruising at altitude over the vast American landscape, en route to Phoenix. It's me, my mom, and two-thirds of my offspring (the eldest has recently discovered the joys of teenage autonomy). Oops, got sidetracked again. The grand plan was to use this space to introduce myself and layout my lofty 2024 aspirations, which, as you've probably guessed, mirror last year's unfulfilled dreams.

But alas, the universe seems to have other plans. A quick peek at my stock portfolio brought me back to earth with a thud – turns out, my financial cushion is more of a financial paper towel. To avoid spiraling into the abyss of despair, I turn my thoughts to weight loss strategies and money-making schemes. But, in a plot twist worthy of a daytime drama, I find myself demolishing a king-size Snickers and washing it down with a Coke (the soda kind, thank you very much). So much for weight loss aspirations.

And now, as I gaze out the airplane window, watching endless clouds drift by, a sense of panic begins to bubble up. The dream of home ownership in Phoenix feels like it's slipping through my fingers, the weight loss goal is teetering on the edge, and here I am, floating back to the starting point. But hey, what's life without a little drama, right? Here's to 2024 – the year of hopeful despair, witty comebacks, and chasing dreams, even if they lead me on a wild goose chase. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride!