I can't understand what went wrongIn my mind from an early age there was a blue question markMaybe that's why I lived as competitively as I didBut, in retrospect, as soon as I stop, that threatening shadow swallows me wholeThe question mark remained blue,Is it discomfort, melancholy?Maybe we really are animals born of regrets,Or maybe it is I who was born of lonelinessStill do not knowThat menacing blueI hope it doesn't eat me upI will find it, the exitI just want to be happierIs this also too much to ask?
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Desideravo così tanto un lieto fine che ho abbassato le difese, dimenticando la prima lezione che ho imparato: che sono venuta al mondo per essere abbandonata e che sono irrimediabilmente sola.
- Mary Shelley
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vivo con i sensi di colpa ogni volta che mangio qualcosa
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What if I lose myself in this?
What if I don’t get out?
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quando ti succede una cosa bella e non la puoi condividere a nessuno solitudine perfetta
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it is fine
you can hurt me as much as you’d like
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spesso per paura di risultare pesante evito di parlare dei miei problemi cercando in tutti i modi di tenere tutti lontano in modo tale da poter in qualche modo calmare i miei pensieri le mie paure le mie ansie e questo a volte mi fa sentire stremata spenta e chi ne ha più ne metta
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a stento ricordo l’ultima volta che sono stata spensierata e ora ne avrei più che bisogno perché tutto questo casino che ho in testa non lo sopporto più
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some days it’s really hard to just move
it’s hard to get out of bed
it’s hard to even go downstairs to get something to eat
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“Chi mi ha cresciuta mi diceva ‘ti voglio bene’ trattandomi male. E adesso la bambina è diventata un’adulta, incapace di distinguere le persone buone dalle cattive”.
- ( via @daisiesonmyarms )
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