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[theultimateeye-blog]

Ghosts

Nothing had changed.

Everything had changed but really nothing had changed at all. This place that was long gone was right there, in the same way that everything else Ryan saw was far gone but also right there.

An apartment. For a short time, they had an actual domestic life and an apartment. They had signed the lease together and everything. Ryan still knew the suite number; still knew where they hid their spare key; still knew the layout of the place, the way Johnel never dusted properly.

When Ryan turned the key and let himself out of the heat, the air conditioning washed over him and his memory became a reality. Everything was cool, modern, and clean (except for the dust spots). He smelled a pie of some kind; there was music.

Johnel had not even noticed him. 

Johnel.

The ghost was right around the corner, only he still had flesh and blood.

Ryan did not think as he crossed the room to the coffee table and sat at the couch that Johnel had picked out and that Ryan remembered hating so much. Now, he liked it. He liked it because Johnel had picked it.

There were photographs on the end table. In one, Johnel stood beside his brothers and they were all smiling. Ryan had had to tell an awful joke to get them to crack for the camera.

In the other, Ryan and Johnel were perched in a tree, asleep (and Ryan had not kept facial hair then; it was a small, alarming difference). They had been picnicking with Iz and she'd thought it was just the cutest. Iz had always been so supportive.

Iz who never knew.

Iz who learned at the last moment, when the men came with guns and she screamed; Iz who was so human, who was a bag of flesh and blood and love, but who told them to run, even when they said they would kill her and she screamed anyway.

Iz all covered in red. Iz, long, long dead but alive now. Alive with Johnel.

Johnel who always knew; who would learn very soon that the future had other plans.

Ryan set his Glock down on the table, as well as his knife. The music stopped and he pulled down his hood, and at the last second he realized that Johnel would remember this - he would remember whatever was about to happen, and he would hide it from Ryan when Ryan returned from his mission.

Even after everything, Ryan still burdened Johnel with more than he ever deserved, but Johnel's footfalls were rounding the corner; he was coming. There was no leaving now.

[theultimateeye-blog]

I'm here.

And it's just like I remember