theteens-stuff

[theteens-stuff]

“ If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid ”

I just gave my first public icse exam today. It was not a mountain like people told me it would be, rather it was just a little rock.

People who know what this examination is also know the big deal that family members create around it. It basically decides minor step of what your future might hold. I know it may sound like its extremely important and you have to do well which most do do, it really doesn’t decide anything.

Relatives you haven’t spoken to in years will call your parents and ask them about your result the day they come out. If you dont score above 90 then you’re considered a failure and your future holds nothing.

This exam made me realise the power of showing “fake care”. It’s not much spoken about but today i felt the need to.

I won’t elaborate on it, but just know this that it has the power to break down even the strongest . Now it may seem like the word fake care could be nice because people care about you but it’s actually quite the opposite. You feel like you have this huge responsibility on your shoulders when really its nothing.

It makes you tremble with anxiety to the point where you believe that you don’t know how to write an essay. You feel like ur head and heart are about to burst open. All I want is for people who are giving exams to know that you don’t have to listen to any of this just believe in yourself and know that you’ve done well and at the end of the day a piece of paper doesn’t decide your future. You Are in control of your emotions, don’t let them take control over you.   

[theteens-stuff]

so usually Im not the one to post but I am today because i feel overwhelmed by something i just experienced. (Please take 5 mins to read this)

I recently attended a wedding and it was an indian wedding so it went on for a couple of days. There was this guy at the wedding whom i knew because he was a part of the distant family and we had spoken earlier a few times because of school related stuff , but things started getting weird he became clingy so i ghosted him. Until recently when I saw him at the wedding, I tried my best not to make any contact with him and went to ignore him for the rest of the events. However on the last day of the wedding he came up to me and we spoke for a good 10 minutes.

I have a cousin whom Im very close to and he invited some friends of his to the wedding, one of which was his girl best friend. They danced and he kissed her on the forehead and everyone seemed okay with them being that close. (Which I also think is prefectly normal)

Skipping to the current day…I was at dinner with my family when they gave me shit for talking to that guy for ten mins at the wedding and saying that I shouldnt have spoken to him at all. ( we had atleast 6 feet gap between us when we spoke) I was surprised at first but later even more shocked when they didnt give any shit to my brother for talking to a girl so closely when she wasnt even the part of the family.

Im 16 and I understand that my family is just looking out for me but how am I supposed to grow up and be an adult who trusts men when my OWN family and my OWN father and my OWN brother tell me to stay away from them. Aren’t they men too ? Shouldn’t i stay away from them too if thats the case. If men dont even trust men how the fuck is another women supposed too. Not only that why was I the ONLY one who got shit for talking to the opposite gender.

Get this at the after party i danced with my brothers ( i am the only sister in the family and all my cousins or people my age are males) and got shit for that too. Saying “oh look how much she partied with him” , when they were my literal brothers. They got told NOTHING. werent they dancing too ???? Werent they present there too with me ??? Its high time we get a hold of this buffoonary. We say that we are progressing towards a more open minded future but are we really or is all this just delusional.