thespacestationsys

[thespacestationsys]

“i’m not the same as who i was before [x] thing happened to me” does it help to know that you would not have stayed that person regardless

[thespacestationsys]

Guess what happened

(Hint it's in the tags)

We've only gotten queerer and angrier >:3

[thespacestationsys]

Some days, you hang out in headspace all day, some days you walk your host back home in the dark, and some days you attend doctor's appointments instead of the host because they are scared. Which is reasonable, we are not looking forward to it either, but at least if we are fronting and together, we can handle it easier than the host can.

Life as a pair with a soother and a protector.

[thespacestationsys]

SYSTEM LITTLE ARE STRONG

THEY CAN PROTECT

THEY CAN CAREGIVE / CARETAKE

THEY CAN SOOTH

THEY CAN HOST

THEY CAN FEEL

THEY CAN UNDERSTAND

we are not useless

every alter has a purpose and a reason for being there. we are doing our best. treat your little alters kindly please - Strawberry

[thespacestationsys]

Name ideas for stuffies:

(you can put ‘Lady’, ‘Sir’, ‘Mr.’ or ‘Mrs.’ in front of every name! some names may double because they fit for more than one color.) ❥ for white colored friends: ☁️ angel ☁️ ghosty ☁️ coconut (coco) ☁️ blizzard ☁️ cotton ☁️ daisy ☁️ dove ☁️ marble ☁️ marshmellow (mellow) ☁️ snowdrop (snow, snowy) ☁️ pearl (pearly) ☁️ tofu ☁️ sugar ☁️ nova ☁️ marzipan ☁️ ivory ☁️ dazzle ❥ for pink colored friends: 🎀 blush 🎀 rose (rosy) 🎀 peony 🎀 (cotton) candy 🎀 bubble gum 🎀 lotus 🎀 tulip 🎀 dahlia 🎀 princess / prince / princette (goes for every color of course!) 🎀 ruby 🎀 roseberry 🎀 peach (peaches) 🎀 rosebud 🎀 begonia 🎀 cherry blossom 🎀 orchid 🎀 petunia ❥ for red colored friends: 🍓 strawberry (or strawbeary for a bear! thank you to anon for that funny idea!) 🍓 rose 🍓 marigold 🍓 tulip 🍓 cherry 🍓 maroon 🍓 crimson 🍓 flame(s) 🍓 zinnia 🍓 poppy 🍓 camellia 🍓 cranberry (berry) 🍓 autumn 🍓 chili 🍓 radish 🍓 maple 🍓 ladybug 🍓 holly ❥ for orange colored friends: 🍊 fox (foxy, foxxo) 🍊 topaz 🍊 tulip 🍊 canna 🍊 sunny 🍊 carnation 🍊 carrot 🍊 pumpkin 🍊 cosmos (no, it’s a plant!) 🍊 garfield 🍊 daylily 🍊 soleil (means sun in french. it’s the name of my cat! pronounce: [sɔlɛj]) 🍊 lantana 🍊 iris 🍊 honey (dew, drop) 🍊 sunset ❥ for yellow colored friends: 💛 sunny 💛 tulip 💛 buttercup 💛 lemon(ade) 💛 pansy 💛 goldie 💛 daffodil 💛 canary 💛 sunflower 💛 dandelion 💛 macaroni 💛 bumblebee (bee) 💛 citron 💛 amber 💛 honey (dew, drop) 💛 waffles 💛 duck (duckie, duckling) 💛 simpson 💛 fanta 💛 caramel ❥ for brown colored friends: 🐻 teddy 🐻 cocoa 🐻 chocolate 🐻 cookie 🐻 cinnamon 🐻 muffin 🐻 clove 🐻 nutmeg 🐻 hazel 🐻 brownie 🐻 bailey 🐻 pecan 🐻 woody 🐻 walnut 🐻 mocha 🐻 snickers 🐻 bean 🐻 moose 🐻 bambi 🐻 fawn 🐻 caramel ❥ for purple colored friends: 💜 violet 💜 clematis 💜 arabella 💜 aubergine 💜 lavender 💜 tulip 💜 pansy 💜 catmint 💜 orchid 💜 cosmos 💜 sweet pea 💜 galaxy 💜 amethyst 💜 plum 💜 lupin 💜 petunia 💜 glory (from morning glory) 💜 delphin (from delphinium) 💜 sapphire (can be purple, too!) 💜 wisteria ❥ for blue colored friends: 💎 diamond 💎 sapphire 💎 sky 💎 topaz 💎 pacific (pacifica) 💎 ocean 💎 blueberry 💎 periwinkle 💎 dandelion 💎 lily (from blue calla lily) 💎 blu 💎 rain (rainy) 💎 dew (dewdrop) 💎 ice 💎 frozen 💎 freeze 💎 drop 💎 cobalt 💎 azure 💎 indigo ❥ for green colored friends: 🍀 clover 🍀 lucky 🍀 meadow 🍀 emerald 🍀 olive 🍀 leaf 🍀 pea 🍀 frog (froggy) 🍀 avocado (or avacado for girls!) 🍀 kiwi 🍀 honeydew 🍀 melon 🍀 pixy 🍀 jalapeno 🍀 mint (minty) 🍀 rosemary 🍀 grape 🍀 shrek 🍀 dragon 🍀 lizzard 🍀 grinch 🍀 apple 🍀 yoda 🍀 pickle(s) (thank you to littleteddy for that great idea!) 🍀 yoshi 🍀 elliot ❥ for black colored friends: 🖤 night 🖤 blacky 🖤 shadow 🖤 void 🖤 onyx 🖤 ink 🖤 pepper 🖤 pepsi 🖤 oreo 🖤 ebony 🖤 ore 🖤 coal 🖤 smudge 🖤 mud (muddy) 🖤 raven 🖤 panda 🖤 panther 🖤 domino 🖤 dice 🖤 shady 🖤 midnight 🖤 voodoo ❥ for grey colored friends: 🐘 dust (dusty) 🐘 ash (ashes) 🐘 comet 🐘 delphine (dolphin) 🐘 mouse 🐘 floyd (meaning “gray” in Welsh) 🐘 pebbles 🐘 pigeon 🐘 silver 🐘 smokey 🐘 misty 🐘 wolf (wolfie) 🐘 luna (means moon) 🐘 moon 🐘 moonlight 🐘 whippet 🐘 marble ❥ for cream colored friends: 🍦 creamy 🍦 cream puff 🍦 truffles 🍦 nugget 🍦 biscuit 🍦 popcorn 🍦 waffles 🍦 muffin 🍦 cookie 🍦 butterball 🍦 pudding 🍦 cheesecake 🍦 peanut butter 🍦 cashew 🍦 cupcake 🍦 saffron ❥ for turquoise colored friends: ♡ puya (it’s a flower) ♡ aqua ♡ mineral (turquoise also is a gem stone!) ♡ gem ♡ ferozah (the persian name for the turquoise gem stone, it means victorious!) ♡ lagoon/lagoona ♡ coral ♡ ocean ♡ pansy (a flower) ♡ bay ♡ takoizu (turquoise in japanese) ♡ midori (green in japanese) ♡ midumi (japanese words for ‘green sea’ mixed together) ❥ for rainbow colored friends: 🌈 sprinkles 🌈 rainbow 🌈 parrot 🌈 paint 🌈 cake 🌈 spring (because of all the colorful flowers!) 🌈 lolli or lollipop (thank you to anon for that beautiful idea!) send in some more ideas

[thespacestationsys]

alter name ideas !

[ no dni for this post, this is for anyone/everyone ! ]

i saw an anti endo make this but then say endos couldnt use it ... so heres a version for everyone !

this is a big list of names you can snag for yourself, your headmates, or your name hoard !! itll be added to semi-regularly !

names under cut !

Seasonal names

Summer

Autumn

August

Maple

Marigold

Rose/Rosie

Heather

Camellia

Peony

Petunia

Stormy

April Basil

Avalon

Valentine

Ivy

Holly

Aspen

Daisy

Sunflower

Dahlia

Deliah

Animal themed names

Crow

Robin

Wren

Raven

Wyvern

Kit

Kat

Corsac

Bengal

Colt

Fawn

Lynx

Sable

Fem names

Mabel

Cathy

Cassidy

Maggie

Isabella/Isabelle

Jackie

Jasmine

Elaine

Eleanor

Olivia

Ava

Luna

Harper

Emily

Betsey

Basil

Delores

Masc names

Clay

Greyson/Grayson

Gabriel

Gregory

Jack

Jasper

Leon

Luke

Michael/Mike

Oliver

Zane

Jeremy

Josiah

Jordan

Henry

Liam

Daniel

Ethan

Leo

Aiden

Nathan/Nathaniel

Neu names

Ash

Cosmo

Jamie

Jay

Kai

Nickie

Phoenix

Ren

Vesper

Charlie

Alex

Tanner

Brook

Max

Jesse

Quinn

Rory

Drew

Corey

Pongo

[thespacestationsys]

Your sysmates are not inconveniences. They are not a disease. They are not your subjects, or sideshows to your life, or obstacles in your way, or toys to be bought and played with and discarded, or in any way lesser than you. They deserve to live their lives and make their own choices.

Do not lock away your sysmates. Do not destroy or delete their things, or read their private journals. Do not hit them or shun them or give them the silent treatment. Do not go on social media to trash-talk them and call them terrible people and tell the world how much you'd like them gone. Do not call them something they do not wish to be called. Come on, guys. This is as simple as the golden rule.

I said in a post some time ago, and have said repeatedly since, that there is no way out of coexisting with your sysmates. You can't ever leave, not for the rest of your life, and neither can they. The only real decision you have is figuring out how much pain you would like to inflict on each other before you learn how to live together. So do yourselves a favour and spare yourselves the melodrama. If nothing else, bad behaviour towards your sysmates will inevitably backfire on you. After all, they have the entire rest of your life to thwart your efforts to suppress them.

But I would still caution viewing this in the selfish way, because strong relationships with your sysmates are their own rewards. You and your sysmates will find something beautiful beyond words when you love each other, especially if they or you have never felt that kind of love before. When you know each other and support each other and are able to work together to achieve a goal, then the benefits reap themselves. It is essential you get to this point.

Of course, you and your sysmates need to put the work in. You can't make a relationship with wishes and good vibes. A lot of strategies to achieve this end are pretty straightforward, though not necessarily easy. Learn to compromise and have civil disagreements. Don't form cliques or gang up on each other. Make rules that prevent you from stepping on each others' toes all the time. Befriend your sysmates, but if this is incredibly difficult, adopt the "roommate strategy"-- that is, have good enough "housekeeping" (in this case, general life habits and behaviour) that you will not drive each other insane, and avoid intruding on each others' things. Learn how not to stew on your problems and to address them in a way that doesn't devolve into yelling.

Most importantly, though, I will once again reiterate that you should let your sysmates have the freedom, within reason, that they want to have. If the 10-year-old boy wants to say "fuck" and play Call of Duty, let him. If the teenage girl really wants to blast Taylor Swift on the way to work instead of what you want to listen to, quiet your mental ranting about how much you hate Taylor Swift, and pass her the aux. If the old man wants to spend his Saturday morning completing the crossword instead of being productive, then let that man finish his damn crossword. If you do this, then your sysmates will leave you alone when you do what you want to do. But-- and this is the important part-- when you show they can trust you on the little things, they will trust you with big things, and vice versa. You cannot get to the point where your sysmate trusts you with their deepest traumas if they cannot trust you to put up with listening to them talk about their interests. This is how your system becomes a support system: step-by-step, slow and steady, until it reaches critical mass.

No, your sysmates are not inconveniences. The real inconvenience is the one you cause yourself when you treat them like objects. No-one-- not you, certainly not them, not anyone around you-- benefits from adversarial in-system relationships. Your sysmates are individuals, and they deserve the respect that everyone deserves. (Even if they do not identify as people, they should still be treated with the kindness and decency you would treat a person with.) Most critically, they are individuals who will be there, night and day, 24/7/365, for the rest of your life. So stop locking them up or gossiping about them or otherwise making life harder for yourself and for them, and start acting accordingly.

[thespacestationsys]

I think the reason we have almost no relationships we'd consider 'close' (at least not anymore) is because of our attachment style--anxious avoidant, or disorganized.

Thank you parents.

We've had close relationships in the past but they get too intense on our side and then we just quit talking to them that much.

So now we have like 6 friends? And on the outside the friendships look fine, and they aren't rocky, they just don't feel close to *us*.

I know we need help. We need a solid relationship that is actually in person and beneficial, besides ones that we pay for (mental health professionals are not friends, they are professionals). We need something. Just don't know exactly what. And the autism makes it difficult to make friends anyway, let alone close relationships. Plus any kind of friendship is absolutely terrifying.

[thespacestationsys]

Grounding Techniques

Mental Distraction Techniques

Pick a category of objects and try to think of as many objects as possible that fit within that category (e.g., types of dogs, cities, types of trees, crayon colors, sports)

Pick a letter and think of emotionally positive or neutral words that begin with that letter

Pick a color and look for things of that color. Notice differences in their exact shades

Say or think the alphabet backwards or alternate letters and numbers (A1, B2, C3, D4, etc)

Count backwards from 100 by 3s, 6s, or 7s or count up by prime numbers or perfect squares

Play “fizz-buzz” with yourself. Begin counting to 100 (or over!), but replace any number that contains the number 5 or is a multiple of 5 with the word “fizz” and any number that contains the number 7 or is a multiple of 7 with the word “buzz.” For example, 1-15 would be “1, 2, 3, 4, fizz, 6, buzz, 8, 9, fizz, 11, 12, 13, buzz, fizz.” When you mess up, compliment yourself and start over

Think of the words to your favorite song or poem or think of facts related to a specific theme

Pick a word or your name and see how many other words you can make from the letters in it

Describe an every day event or process in great detail, listing all of the steps in order and as thoroughly as possible (e.g., how to cook a meal, how to get from your house to your place of work or school, how to do your favorite dance)

Read something technical or meant for children or read words backwards to focus on the process of reading and not the words

Watch a children’s television show or movie or watch cute or funny videos on Youtube; it might help to have a playlist already prepared for this

Look at a current news article that is not likely to be upsetting or distressing

Distract yourself with Tetris, Solitaire, Sudoku, word searches, or other puzzle games

Reorientation Techniques

Say or think to yourself: “My name is _________. I am safe right now. I am _____ years old. I am currently at _____________. The date is _____________. If I need help, I am with ________/can call _________. Everything is going to be alright.”

List reaffirming statements (“I am fine. Everything is going to be okay. I am strong. I can handle this.”)

Ask yourself where you are, what day of the week it is, what day of the month it is, what month it is, what year it is, what season it is, how old you are, and other present-focused questions

Notice things in your surroundings that indicate to you that you’re safe or that you’re in the present (e.g., locks on your door, electronics that didn’t exist when you were younger, the presence of trusted people, a phone so that you can call for help if you need it)

Describe your surroundings in detail, including sights (objects, textures, shapes, colors), sounds, smells, and temperature

Name five things that you see, four that you feel, three that you hear, and two that you smell or taste, and then name one good thing that you like about yourself

Pick four or five brightly colored objects that are easily visible and move your focus between them. Be sure to vary the order of your gaze and concentrate briefly on each one before moving to the next

Think about a fun time that you recently had with a friend or call that friend and ask them to talk about it with you

Sensory-Based Grounding Techniques

Run cool or warm (but not too cold or hot) water over your hands or take a cool or warm bath or shower

Spritz your face (with eyes closed), neck, arms, and hands with a fine water mist

Spray yourself with your favorite perfume and focus on the scent

Feel the weight of your body in your chair or on the floor and the weight of your clothing on your skin

Touch and hold objects around you. Compare the feel, weight, temperature, textures, colors, and materials

Keep a small object with you to touch or play with when you get triggered. Good examples include a smooth stone, a fidget toy, jewelry, or a tiny plushy

Bite into a lemon, orange, or lime, suck on a sour or minty candy or an ice cube, chew cinnamon-flavored gum, or put a few drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue. Notice the flavor, scent, and texture

Eat something or drink warm tea, coffee, or hot chocolate, and describe to yourself the taste and texture in great detail

Place a cool wash cloth on your face or hold something cold like a can of soda

Listen to soothing or familiar music. If possible, dance to it

Hum, sing, recite poetry, or make up a silly poem or story as you go

Pick up a book and read the first paragraph out loud

Hug another person (if interpersonal touch isn’t a trigger). Pay attention to your own pressure and the physical sensations of doing so

Hug a tree! Register the smells of being outside, the wind, and the sights around you

Movement-Based Grounding Techniques

Breathe deeply and slowly and count your breaths

Grab tightly onto your chair or press your feet against the ground as firmly as you can

Rub your palms and clap your hands or wiggle your toes within your socks. Pay attention to the physical sensation of doing so

Stretch out your arms or legs, roll your head on your neck, or clench and unclench your fists

Stomp your feet, walk around, run, jump, ride a bike, do jumping jacks, or do yoga

While walking, notice each footstep and say to yourself “right” and “left” to correspond with the foot currently moving

Squeeze a pillow, stuffed animal, or ball

If you have a soft pet (dog or cat), brush its fur and stroke it. If you don’t, brush your own hair slowly and without pulling too much

Color in an adult coloring book, finger paint, or draw anything that comes to mind without worrying about quality

Write whatever comes to mind even if it’s nonsense. Try not to write about whatever is upsetting you until you’re more capable of doing so without increasing the upset

Write a list of things that make you happy or look for cheerful pictures to make into a collage

Pop bubble wrap or blow and pop actual bubbles

Dig in the dirt or garden, jump on a pile of leaves, or splash around in puddles or mud

Rip up paper or stomp on aluminum cans to crush them

Imagery Techniques

Picture yourself breathing in relaxation, calm, positive feelings, or strength. Picture yourself breathing out whatever is upsetting you. It may help to pair this with imagery of breathing in soothing colors (usually blue, purple, or green) and out more intense colors (usually red or black)

If you need to relax, envision a soothing white or golden light slowly moving up your body, warming and relaxing every part of you that it touches. You can also think of it as protecting you from negativity or from harm

If the problem is intense or uncomfortable emotions, physical sensations, or memories, picture them being surrounded and neutralized by a bright and healing light, temporarily placed in a mental box to be stored for later, or dialed back by an internal controller of intensity

If you have a clear mental picture of what’s upsetting you, mentally change it to something silly or harmless. If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, cast a mental “riddikulus” to banish the negativity

Picture yourself calm, focused, and able to tackle whatever problems you’re facing. Focus on how that would feel in the moment. What would your expression and posture be like? Make whatever changes you need to in order to make your reality reflect your goal

How to Make a Grounding Box

Get a box or basket

Personalize and decorate it with construction paper, wrapping paper, ribbon, stickers, drawings, paint, photographs, glitter, sequins, or anything else that you like

Keep within it:

A list of grounding techniques that you know work for you

A list of positive affirmations and happy memories

A list of the contact information of trusted friends or family who are willing to help and support you

Small sensory objects such as: scented candles, perfumes, or lotions; hard candies or gum; soft fabrics, a stress ball, a stuffed animal, or a fidget toy; happy pictures of you with friends; a CD with relaxing music or meditation tracks. Try to cover all of the senses

A list of possible distractions such as books to read or movies to watch

Small portable distractions such as a pack of playing cards, a small game, or a joke book

A list of comforting things to do such as taking a bubble bath, snuggling up in bed, or meditating

A small journal or notebook

In the Case of a Flashback

Tell yourself that you are having a flashback and are safe now

Remind yourself that the worst is over, and you survived it. What you’re feeling now is just a reminder of that trauma and does not fit the present moment

Remind yourself of when and where you are, who you’re currently with, and who you can contact if you need help (use the reorientation-focused grounding techniques)

Breathe deeply and slowly. Count your breathes and make sure that you’re getting enough air

Use other mental, sensory, movement, and imagery techniques in order to distract yourself, calm yourself, and reorient yourself within the present

If possible or necessary, go somewhere where you can be alone or with a close friend, where you will feel safe, or where you feel protected or shielded

If there is anyone who you can trust or who will support you, reach out to them, let them know what happened, and let them know what you need, what would be best for you, or what they could do to help

Be gentle with yourself and take the time to really recover. If what helps you to recover is to color, take a bubble bath, hug a stuffed animal, or watch a children’s movie and if it would not be disruptive to do such things at that point in time, embrace those options whole-heartedly

If possible, note or write down what triggered the flashback, what techniques you tried to use to disrupt the flashback, and what techniques helped

[thespacestationsys]

Here I am, posting something similar like the fibro post... this one goes out to my psychotic folks🫶

[thespacestationsys]

i kinda wish there was more discussion of having UDD talked about in CDD communities. so much of what i see discussed is about DID/OSDD and i know my disorder probably has less people who have it, but like idk. i want to meet people with this disorder too.

i want to be able to talk about how i feel being diagnosed as UDD while being treated for DID. how that makes me feel as if my system isnt as noticable. how that might be bias from my provider, but how leaving my provider to find a new one wont be beneficial for myself or my mental health.

i want to talk about how underrepresented other CDDs are in CDD communities, how people say CDDs but really only discuss DID/OSDD. how you never see conversation of how messy the line between many of the disorders are.

[thespacestationsys]

[thespacestationsys]

Beau only has two modes

[thespacestationsys]

Tips for baby systems (forbidden/evil/weirdly specific edition):

You are allowed to, and in fact should, "romanticise" plurality as much as you desire.

Wallowing in your trauma is one of the worst ways to deal with having it. Stay away from online DID spaces oriented towards "trauma recovery"-- these spaces tend to be the most toxic, and ironically "anti-recovery", DID-oriented spaces on the internet.

You can cuddle with your sysmate using a pillow (or a stuffed animal, if you're not a coward). Imagine the pillow is that sysmate. You're welcome.

Some plurals want to become more plural. There's nothing wrong with that.

Let your child sysmates swear.

Unless they insist otherwise, stop calling your sysmates "parts". Person-based language works quite well for a great number of systems, and you should at least try it.

If you don't have a headspace, learn to lucid dream with your sysmates.

If you can hear your sysmates as voices, and you ever doubt you're plural, mentally scream something really stupid-- e.g. "WHAT'S 9 PLUS 10??". You may hear a distant "You know that '21' joke died 10 years ago, right?" Boom. You're plural. Confidence restored.

If you hear your sysmates as voices in your head, it is possible you will never be able to meditate in the traditional way. You can, however, have one sysmate guide you through one, and have them talk so much that there's not enough RAM in your brain to be distracted by the ADHD I know you have.

Leave every single plural-oriented Discord server you are in, and do not join any others. Additionally, delete your Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram accounts, and never reinstate them.

If you are a kid, do not tell your peers that you are plural, unless you are thick-skinned. Especially do not tell your family members until you are no longer dependent on them.

If you're having trouble getting one of your sysmates to pilot, there is a ~45% chance that they will only learn to do so in reaction to the silliest, dumbest, most random event on earth.

Don't say "I'm 100 rats in a trenchcoat." Say "My name is Legion, for we are many" and refuse to elaborate.

Your system name doesn't have to carry 14 layers of deep personal meaning. Assuming you picked something not totally goofy, it will gain meaning to you over time.

I mean this with utmost kindness, but please stop making posts like "is it possible / valid if my system does [X]?" Yes. Case closed.

Being posted to a cringe subreddit is a rite of passage. Be proud.

Most of the people around you are never going to clock you as plural. Even if you're the world's most overt, obvious system, 80% of people will just think you're weird. This is a good thing. Embrace other peoples' "weirdness censor" and unmask a little.

The words "quoigenic" and "praesigenic" (a.k.a. "my system origin is none of your business") are your friends. Use these as your public system origin for at least a year after realising you're plural.

In your public bio, no-one needs to know about whether you're officially diagnosed with a dissociative disorder or not, and the people who you want to be around do not care.

Plurality is crazy shit. Accept that you are "crazy" by societal standards, and that there is nothing wrong with being crazy. Be cringe. Be weird. Be mad. Be a freak. Be unpalatable. Cause chaos. It's awesome.

Date your sysmates. Kiss your sysmates. Fuck your sysmates. The world is your oyster.

No matter what, do not forget to love your sysmates.

[thespacestationsys]

The Plural Community Needs to Write More Essays and Make More Resources

This has been a pretty big push in the alterhuman community, but hasn't quite reached the plural community yet. So

Systems: Write about your experiences! Post them!

It doesn't have to be good or coherent, but we want to see more experiences that aren't just bland, blanket positivity posts or term coining with zero substance. Some of our favorite writings we've read have had poor grammar and disjointed paragraphs!

Reasons to write about your experiences:

It can make people who have that experience both realize they're not alone and learn ways they can explore that experience

It can be education for people who don't experience that so they can learn what it's like

It gives more potential for citation for those who are making more comprehensive resources

They can be used several years down the line to track trends and events within the plural community

Also want to combat anti-endos? Write about your experiences. Humanize yourself (for lack of a better term). Create solidarity with others and encourage them to be out about themselves. Don't let psychiatric texts, syscourse rants, and simple definitions be the only information about your group!

We'll tack on what we're interested in seeing, but feel free to reblog and add anything too:

Guides! Guides on how your system does things, or guides that can help other systems

How plurality intersects with other disabilities or neurodivergence

Headspace tours, art about your headspace, collages

The effects drugs or medication has on your system

Non-traditional roles, or even how traditional roles do their day to day tasks

Different types of plurality intersecting (i.e. systems who fit more than one of DID, endogenic multiplicity, medianhood, soulbonding, etc)

Spirituality and religion intersecting with plurality

Seriously, whatever you want to talk about

[thespacestationsys]

A work friend of mine's daughter has recently developed (?) schizophrenia. He seems to like my advice in general, and in particular thinks I gave him helpful advice about handling traumatic experiences he's had, and so talks to me about this a lot. I've tried to give advice along the lines of prioritizing her comfort/well-being/calmness over her "connection to reality" (his words), like not picking arguments over things she says in pursuit of correcting her, similar to taking care of someone with dementia.

Do you have any points I can focus on or resources I can look up to support him and by extension his daughter better? I'm not very familiar with the subject but do know that in looking this up I'm wading through a lot of stuff that's not very supported or with the schizophrenic person's well being and agency in mind.

You're exactly right about the comparison to dementia. Although not nearly as severe an illness, schizophrenia is one of those "redirect not reinforce" conditions.

So, one of the big things you can suggest, especially while the person is in the early period of onset (which can happen over the course of a year at any age, but usually between 20 and 30), is try to help them make plans for the future. Which sounds big and scary, but it mostly consists of honestly going through with them to make lists of the things they enjoy, the things that stress them out, etc. Because there is going to come a time, and it's sooner than anyone wants, where remembering what she finds relaxing will become impossible on her own (at least, during periods of high stress; she may always be able to self regulate in normal conditions).

Schizophrenia often makes people feel deeply afraid and out of control of their own thoughts, which is really scary!!

But your friend's daughter is likely still able to remember what things she enjoyed before the onset of her illness. Whenever she gets too wound up in a fearful delusion, rather than trying to combat the delusion, I suggest redirecting her to one of the things she enjoys, whatever that may be. A hobby, a movie, etc.

It's important that the idea for the redirection initially come from the schizophrenic person themself. This way, you can honestly say, "hey, remember when you said you like X, why don't we try some X together," and it be something reaffirming to the person's sense of control rather than fighting it.

Of course, if the delusion isn't fearful/scary/stressful, the best thing to do is to accept that it is her genuine reality right now, and just work around that belief. No need to start a fight and make it stressful.

Another thing is, and this is MUCH more controversial in the west but I'll go ahead and say it. Another thing is, if the daughter's voices are friendly or kind, to support her engaging with them (if she so chooses). This way if/when her voices become mean she can choose to "disengage" with them as a conscious change. In practical terms, this means if his daughter is ever having conversations with her voices that seem to be in good spirits, to treat that more like she is talking on the phone with someone you don't know, than to treat it as a scary hallucination.

Then, if the voices ever get mean, she can "give them the silent treatment" to help establish a sense of control over them and help her feel like she doesn't have to listen to them.

In a way, it can be good to conceptualize her voices as "influential strangers" and just encourage her to listen to good influences and ignore bad ones.

Finally, depending on where the daughter lives and her support needs, it might be good to get her registered with the healthcare service in your area sooner than later. In the US, a young person with schizophrenia automatically qualifies for medicaid and can also qualify for disability. Both will need to be applied for, and the application process is a byzantine mess.

Especially regarding disability, it is best to hire a lawyer to make your application (they will be paid out of your benefits not your pocket).

As such, if your coworker's daughter is unlikely to be able to live entirely on her own, including job, hygiene, travel, etc it's a good idea to get there registrations started ASAP. That way if the coworker ever becomes sick or when he eventually dies, etc the daughter can be supported.

If the daughter has low support needs and is likely to be able to live on her own (which can and does happen sometimes!! Even with schizophrenia), one of the biggest challenges she's going to face in the long term is going to the doctor.

Not only are doctors deeply, deeply scary to the mentally ill in the west (for good reason!), which makes doctors a prime target for delusions of fear and abuse. But also delusional thinking can interfere with a person's ability to identify their own body sensations.

EG, it is very common for schizophrenics to "be really angry and not know why" and it turns out it's because they have a UTI but couldn't feel it due to delusions. In fact, it's so common that one of the first things we do at work when a client is very upset like that, is ask them if they have been peeing more often (the answer is usually 'yes').

A huge part of the reason people with schizophrenia die young is the inability to tell when they are sick, followed by feeling unsafe going to the doctor.

Ultimately, the biggest thing to remember is that no matter how stressed or scared you are as a carer, the person with the illness is just as of more stressed. They aren't fighting you, they're fighting terror. Remembering that can make the intense demands of caring for someone with higher support needs less draining.

The second biggest thing is to remember to take time for yourself, because if you burn out as a carer, then you've left your kid without support for potentially months or years, and that's pretty bad compared to having them go to a fun adult program like a summer camp every day for a month while you recover.

Finally: there are more programs for schizophrenia support than you think. Even in my rural bumfuck town of 3000, we have two (2) different programs, including a year round day program that operates 5 days a week and takes walk ins.

Your coworker does not have to take care of his daughter alone. Support exists.

[thespacestationsys]