theserenityinviolence

[theserenityinviolence]

Oh, this same old empty feeling, like the weight of a shadow, a ghost pressing against the edges of me, but never quite touching.

I hate how it loops, this endless reel of fading, of slipping through cracks I didn’t know existed, until I’m no longer a person, just a clueless, useless body moving through spaces like I don’t belong.

I hate it. The way it roots itself in me, a stubborn seed that won’t grow, won’t die, just sits there, a quiet ache in my chest.

And I don’t know how to get out anymore. Nothing works— not the pills that promise stillness, not the music that once felt like home, not voices that try to pull me back. No one. Nothing.

And it’s always the same. Sometimes it lingers for hours, sometimes for days, sometimes it swallows weeks whole until time becomes a blur, a smear of gray across my memory.

And it’s so often, so suffocatingly often, that I don’t even fight it anymore. I just hate it. Hate it, and let it sit with me, a thing I didn’t ask for, a thing I don’t know how to let go.

[theserenityinviolence]

"she left you once. she'll leave you again." "you left me once." wayne looking at all the pictures on maureen's wall. i can't compete with your mom. i'll go before you leave me. "if he goes, i won't have anyone left." "not anymore." wayne and del tearing apart from their families to be each other's family. they are each other's solace from every fucked up thing that happens. wayne's mom leaves. his dad dies and he doesn't really get to say goodbye. he can't get himself to stay in school. del and her mom with unmedicated bipolar. her mom dies and doesn't get to say goodbye. her dad can't stop drinking. she does everything for everyone and remember's carl and teddy's birthday. she remembers the cape cod cooley. two terrified kids clinging onto each other and willing to burn bridges along the way paving their way in the hell of being on earth. he doesn't wear shorts. don't ask her what del is short for. they were meant to be together annointed in violence before they even met. maybe she's your pair of skates. he's been looking out for you for years.

[theserenityinviolence]

[theserenityinviolence]

seeing wanye getting talked about makes me happy but also sad cause we ain’t getting a next season

[theserenityinviolence]

you must understand this isn't a pleasure or a mischief, it's a method of control

[theserenityinviolence]

imma slut him out and play chess with him later

[theserenityinviolence]

lab, grind & a little break.

[theserenityinviolence]

they should invent a january that doesn’t make you go through every emotion known to mankind every day

[theserenityinviolence]

@academia-lucifer

[theserenityinviolence]

for some reason the most romantic thing i can think of is someone saying your name. the way it's supposed to be said. early in the morning. late at night. mouth full of food. a whisper. in sob. in laughter. stuttering. idk there's something about it that means more to me.

[theserenityinviolence]

being good is so hard i want a cigarette

[theserenityinviolence]

i need a fashion mf to come along and befriend me frfr.

[theserenityinviolence]

Slow down, you're doing fine You can't be everything you wanna be before your time

[theserenityinviolence]

GO STUDY

[theserenityinviolence]

[theserenityinviolence]

how's life Ali?

hey varsha :) long time

how's life? slow, teasing, monotonous It's not bad though, I can't complain I think it's the "calm before the storm" eh? 2024 was one heck of a year, strong feeling things are going to pick up by the mid-2025, I guess this is my break ;D

dramatic bs aside, life is good :) pretty girl wishing me a good morning and good night, decent amount of free time, it's chill going through your account, it seems i've missed quite a lot toh aap batao varsha ji, how's life treating you?

[theserenityinviolence]

they should invent a living alone that is affordable