theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

I have buried too much of myself to ever be me again

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

there is something so wrong with wanting to be catcalled and objectified and i know it's horrible and i shouldn't want it but just once i want to know someone finds me attractive

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

I want to be alone and do things alone and relish my solitude but I am so alone and I am so alone and I am so alone

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

How are you ever supposed to cope with the knowledge that you are not loved by them the same way that you love them?

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

Please cradle my face in your hands

and smile and tell me you love me

and let me make you a playlist, and sit on the couch to watch our favorite movies, and playfully fight over how to cook dinner the right way

and let me know that for once in my life, it's a good thing that I am me

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

I'm too romantic for my own good

Finding the perfect date in every afternoon, thinking of all the ways I'd say I love you, all the gifts I'd give, the memories I'd create

The heart of a romantic trapped in the body of someone who cannot and will not ever be loved

Through no fault of my own, but for the fact I am the way that I am

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

me when ppl at the theater try and tell me abt the movie they just watched

7-11 CLERK: lovely day outside, isn't it ME: uhhh ME INTERNALLY: shit. I didn't notice. How do I continue this conversation MY INNER MONOLOGUE: Service workers love it when you tell them the things mortal men were not meant to know, when you speak to them of principalities and powers upon the earth ME: In the sun a wheel, in the wheel another wheel. Do you see? 7-11 CLERK: Yes, I see! ME: For each turn of the outer wheel, one thousandth a turn of the inner wheel. And within the inner wheel a point of perfect darkness 7-11 CLERK: Right, growing, devouring. The death of all light ME: Wanes the light - right - wanes the light and waxes the solar eye. Wanes the day of flesh and blood and waxes the night of crawling beasts. Chewing and swallowing. The name of the night to come is khoshek ha-gibbor 7-11 CLERK: Is that hot dog a quarter pound big bite or a spicy bite. They're priced different ME: Which one is cheaper

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

you've been salmonsharked reblog to salmonshark someone else

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

How am I supposed to cope with the fact I am no one's favorite

and that I will slip from their lives as they have slipped from mine

They will not hold onto me as I clung to them

But instead spread their fingers wide

and let me fall away

[theresaclockbehindmeitstooloud]

I want to be loved so desperately it makes me sick. All I can think about is how nice every moment would be if I was spending it with someone.

The sun would be warmer if there was a hand warming mine, the strawberries sweeter if I was kissing them off your lips.

I cherish the little things, but oh how I wish I was cherishing you too.