thequeenofnationalcity

[thequeenofnationalcity]

Wtf is wrong with you?

I’m a crêpe. I’m a weirdough.

[thequeenofnationalcity]

Me: *stubs my toe* "AH FUCK!"

Mass of quivering flesh that's been growing in my cabinet and slowly feeding off my suffering until it develops sentience: *takes first breath*

[thequeenofnationalcity]

🔆 ohjoy Follow

okay since I recently found out that me and literally 5 other kids in my choir had a phase where we made serious plans to run away and become a 9th penitent - is this an 8th House thing or are teens just like that

🔆 ohjoy Follow

BONE CULTISTS? ON MY HELLSITE?

✒ blackquill Follow

It's more likely than you think.

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

i was dropping off the kids at the cohort seminar and the 2nd house recruiter saw my wheelchair and asked if I was a veteran ... like aye cap they gave me ms in the war

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

she asked me what front i served at and I said "the big one". she gasped

♠ homefront-titties-of-the-4th Follow

WHEN I CAME BACK TO FETCH THE SQUIRTS SHE HAD A VETERAN'S DISCOUNT STAMP READY FOR ME there were tears in her eyes i swear

🥴 badjokesbyjohn Follow

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs 

Because the cow has the udder.

⚪ the-redeemerrrrrr-deactivated

username checks out man you fell off. tf does that even mean

👅 one-flesh-one-smash Follow

fuck off back to deaddit. john has been trying to get an ARG off the ground for so long, let him cook. That ancient colour of the sky post was a banger

☕ fidelitea Follow

TIL that weird baby blue sky post came from the bad jokes guy

🌸 rigormortis Follow

feeling so aenemic today...

👄 what-that-mouth-of-the-emperor-do Follow

it's the year of our lord 10000, can we leave consumptioncore in the fucking dust where it belongs?! It's not cute, you're not giving Duchess of Rhodes, you're giving none of my friends want to spend time outside with me

��� drchuckshingle Follow

some sad news for y'all today. once again two of my shinglers, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that none of us will live to see a time of peace" and its sequel, "pounded in the butt by the realisation that the previous realisation must have occurred to dozens of my ancenstors and still we fight on", have been placed on the eighth house index of heresies. OH WELL! i will continue to write as long as there is one person waiting to read, and that person is ME!

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

aw shucks that sucks! at least your works are in good company among other works of art on the index (or so i hear)

🩸 saints-alive Follow

dude we can all look up the index. "saint of seduction" "cavaliers off the leash" "pounded in the butt by a chainsmoking saint that remains otherwise unspecified and could belong to any fictional religion"

is that the good company you're speaking off? or are you just sad you can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

Nice try. Among erotic works, several priceless artifacts with immense cultural and scientific value have been indexed by the Eighth. E.g. the collected letters of General Duodecim to his spouses in the year of 3097, being one of the only firsthand accounts of the establishment of the first shepherd worlds. That's so long ago they still called them colonies! It's from before the divine edict of 4001!

🩸 saints-alive Follow

general duodecim was a weirdo who wrote self insert fanfic about himself getting his guts rearranged by the saint of duty TO HIS SPOUSES

📜 solace-in-thighs Follow

Psychometrists from the Sixth have affirmed the authenticity of the texts again and again. The Saint of Duty fucks nasty and raw, die mad about it <3

🍈 magnus-quinn-big-naturals Follow

I'm sad I can't jerk it to pervert porn anymore :(

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

the good news: they're letting me go out tonight!

the bad news: it's for my great-uncle's funeral.

the secret good news: I met him twice and those were two times too many. Odious man!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

worse news: they've sat me next to Captain Deuteros I hate it here

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

looooord undying she's talking about the weather. Nice yellow we're having tonight! Lemon, with a hint of cadmium - or is it cadmium with a hint of lemon?

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

her shuttle journey was uneventful, if you were wondering. heaven forbid she experience two consecutive seconds of excitement.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

she saw me using necrumblr under the table and tutted at me. L-O-L!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

Maybe I should faint. I haven't fainted in ages!

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

IMPORTANT UPDATE. The Crown Princess of Ida struck up a conversation with her from across the table and the captain dropped a dumpling into her lap.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

it's been five minutes. the Princess is still talking to her and the window in which she could have picked the dumpling up with minimal embarrassment has passed ages ago.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

dumplingwatch: it's still there. waiting. cooling. soaking through her trousers.

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

RIP DUMPLING! The Princess is giving a speech and the captain kicked it under the table. She thinks nobody noticed

💌 do-not-go-gently Follow

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER AGAIN I NEED THE CANCER TO GET ITS SHIT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW

[thequeenofnationalcity]

[thequeenofnationalcity]

My favorite art is first sentences of scientific papers, I love reading sentences like "movement is of integral importance to animals" or "snow has long been recognised for its ecological importance" fuck yes so truee

[thequeenofnationalcity]

USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don't get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don't get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.

Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.

If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.

Are you with me?

Spread the word.

[thequeenofnationalcity]

tbh that scene in the ice cream parlor had me shaking. i am SO scared of taissa's shitty tv ad delusions im not ready for him to show up again :(

[thequeenofnationalcity]

It was so funny in yellowjackets season 2 when things got bad and nat ran out of cunty outfits and black eyeliner and she looked so different everyone thought she had been recast like that’s just the alt experience tbh 

Not recast just stripped of her protective eyeliner and deyassified 😔

[thequeenofnationalcity]

soooo why do we think melissa cut shauna's brakes. what did my girl do to her 20 years ago besides serve shitty boyfriend realness

[thequeenofnationalcity]

shauna kisses a girl once and an episode later jackie appears to her in a dream to fucking kill her

[thequeenofnationalcity]

I finally watched the black phone with my friend and it was hella cool

[thequeenofnationalcity]

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

[thequeenofnationalcity]

the line between vengeful brutal catharsis and gay sex is very thin so be careful out there

[thequeenofnationalcity]

girl with a backwards hat lezzing out in the woods i said oh im sure

[thequeenofnationalcity]

finished this one recently (didn't realize I started this last february haha)

[thequeenofnationalcity]