theperksofbeingalex

[theperksofbeingalex]

the best written characters of all time :

[theperksofbeingalex]

[theperksofbeingalex]

“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”

You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.

[theperksofbeingalex]

If Westeros had a picture book to teach preschoolers the house sigils and words, Eric Carle would write and illustrate it. Inspired by Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

[theperksofbeingalex]

i’m 101% sure that this entire line was improv and tom couldn’t help it

[theperksofbeingalex]

this bitch empty

YEET

[theperksofbeingalex]

[theperksofbeingalex]

what was this show

[theperksofbeingalex]

only true minnesotans will understand

[theperksofbeingalex]

Physical books should come with ‘digital download’ codes so you can have an ebook copy too.

[theperksofbeingalex]

when you tryna chill but your siblings love annoyin you

[theperksofbeingalex]

remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet

[theperksofbeingalex]

[theperksofbeingalex]

[theperksofbeingalex]

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

[theperksofbeingalex]

[theperksofbeingalex]

yall out here still pretending anime characters are hot? tch…