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Working with Archangel Michael.
Sept 29, 2017
So Archangel Michael has made himself known again and she was happy but this reality is really tough to keep up.
But she's trying but then something's don't match up with what she's been told ... and it's the lack of medical awareness.
She's struggling day in and day out and there's NOTHING.
So she pulls on what she knows. But a younger self said Archangel Michael doesn't "see" what she needs yet so ... wtf?
How is that possible if he works with shaman? And he is the holder of the records?
She's always trying to embrace this and while there's some fluffy stuff that goes on, then it immediately gets quiet.
Healer, heal thyself is the only thing she can imagine but in the end, that phrase usually is used for overcoming ... depression. Not a struggle back to life.
So she's doing what she can. Was journaling about whatever comes up to get ahead of it and is behaving like her usual self which is also angering because she can do that stuff easily because she's an INFP.
She writes and relies on her ... "help" or her soul to figure things out, personally. Again, she's fine with it. But in the end, she's clueless about this disaster of a vertebrae issue right?
Ok so she's not entirely clueless. She also knows there's many triggers. And just said, "let's put the essential oils down the whole spine then!?" But she's mostly feeling pain around T4 and her left arm.
Collapse
But she also just had an episode ... moments after having diarrhea. She's been seeing this for a while. Masturbation helps but that has its limits too.
So earlier, she gleaned "pearl" and what seems like a paste of sorts. She went looking online and she didn't find much but found that St. John's wort oil is an option for herniations.
———————
"You're being provided with a service."
- a shaman
"Most people have to work to get here but you're being thrown into it."
- esteemed medical intuitive, Elizabeth Thorson
"I'm just gonna remove attachments around you and realign your chakras."
- a shaman
"You're surrounded by REALLY compassionate spirits ... and I saw a raccoon ... (as she stuttered) ... I've never seen that before."
- a shaman
"I'll make your Taurus ascend."
"We'll make your gorilla sing again."
- a shaman
"You opened up a Pandora's box"
- Marie coco (but she never said it HAD to happen) - she also didn't give me any real information at times but then hits me with dead on names and such.
-----
The Chinese.
Pearl powder came to mind today.
I vaguely remembered this from Clara and knew right away what it meant.
But they wanted to know why I wasn't using the pearl powder from the beginning?
Because I had never been so severely ill before and prednisone is a motherfucker.
But this powder makes sense.
-----
Seems like the shaman and western medicine keep coming up ... empty.
Was this a journey or was it a heist?
Joe seemed to think I knew how to journey already. Never asked me about much and the last exchange was - make sure you get your insurance back, get back on your meds and always know you can all 9/11.
He uses Buddhist and shamanistic practices.
----
I've never been here before but something isn't right. I had no idea how deeply affected I was after the coma but the symptoms came on slowly. She's was on prednisone drip for a week and then on a taper when she left. She knows it takes 6 months for a "healthy" person to do a z-pack which is a tapered down dosing of prednisone. She never knew the depths of damage this medicine could do and suspected psychosis bc of it bc it's a side effect.
So then there's unresolved trauma plus THIS new trauma. But the shit hit the fan when she moved back home. Everything slowly got worse - ER visits and hospital stays - even her job.
—————————
spirit retrieval
when push comes to shove, the world commands and the journey of the soul and spirits reigns supreme.
the soul gets commanding to come back at the best possible time and then theres a reprieve which I’m still trying to find out about other than to calm down some of those noises and voices in my head with the help of the archangels at the realm.
see the archangels command the animals.
when i was writing, i would get introductions. so after i commanded them to leave my sphere, where did they go or rather, who stayed?
but again, how does archangel michael have that much time on his hands to give me all of that kind of attention?
I made the commands after being prompted to but I’ve also been privy to the inner workings of the mind and would hear many times …. “they’re swarming around her” and then … either archangel michael is then given the text message like superman or its quantum physics … give the command and …
theoretically: “what do you need?”
theoretically: “get the green off of me its making the right side of my head tense up and I’m angry”
what actually happens? all i had to do was connect with it and the world around me would shift in certain places. in the beginning, this was dicey and scary but as time went along, it got easier and i had more courage to face it. it also used to set off breathing episodes but as i stabilized … fuck that.
dead people like saints exist - so the fun part about books and the internet is people like to make things up and interchange these words. so who knows right? all i know is the job was done and i was feeling like there was some really impressive shit going on around me.
so the spirits are then gently guided back by what i believed was the horse.
the horse had to be pulled out the night before and all i could see was a tar-colored horse like creature that was pulled out of the depths of my psyche the night before.
but things always ease up and after some time, i sat and did some writing and uprooted more fears and concerns of my own on my own time, and i eventually got the cat in my 3rd eye. gentleness.
now the other curious thing is the messages i get through my eyes.
the eyes command and the eyes make me laugh.
but what is it about the shen and the eyes … and who takes over? red rover, red rover we send the policing team over … something “mans” the mission.
PTSD - the eyes dart around … are they trying to get people’s attention? how much of an intelligent design is there? and is it possible to get the likes of kevin mahoney to give it a try?
in a world so dark, comedy gets you everywhere.
“bitches don’t die for nuthin” and you find out it was richard pryor making an appearance because they all know you’re relatively okay but you must try your best to keep it …. lighthearted or it will get the best of you.
sometimes, i suspected it was an animal. it was never harmful … except “bitches” was used far too often for my taste lol
anyway, the spirit was gently returned and i heard a prompt of “here she comes” whereas the soul just DROPPED back in!
but be patient and sit with it because you just might hear a voice talking to “her” to get her to settle back in. it was tender and sweet. and at one point, i knew i was with a very young spirit and she said something to the effect of “yeah no mom never touched me like that” as i had my hand on my cheek and she smiled and said that she liked it and so essentially, i was the mother to my neglected daughter-self. if this doesn’t convince you of your childhood and confirm things you continue to doubt, i don’t know what will. i say this because people are in denial all the time and placate left and right but i have strongly stood by this.
THIS was heartbreaking.
there were 3 retrievals last night. and as they returned, i got a picture of my brainstem … spirits leave here. and as they came back, i could see where the red was, now i don’t know what I’m destroying here in western medicine ….but autism is fucking horseshit.
shit happens. and may be an umbilical cord gets wrapped around someones neck.
or may be PTSD causes someone to run amok but in my world, if you take the time to sit with it and do the right thing by your body, and take supplements too, you can overcome nearly anything.
———
and just an aside as i hear some voice off to the right side of my head … archangel michael apparently oversees light workers … and as I’m writing about autism, i hear “and archangel michael lights up because he can see all of his little angels”
first of all, if anyone oversees children, its Kuan Yin and the likes of Mother Mary.
so if archangels exist, why does my mind automatically think COLOR first?
if archangel michael exists, he can’t be swarming around me all day long.
these new wave people are literally telling people that they can call on him whenever they need him. seriously? isn’t he busy enough as this super large entity that he is? they also say that “he” doesn’t have any concept of time and space.
you know what explains this? quantum physics.
now if you’re working with children who are scared, like autistic kids, then yes, PLEASE play the game because it gets dark in there. but the animals are dead entities and there are MANY horses and wolves, etc … and yes, they can communicate but if all they did was bark, would you get it? and no, i don’t “see” animals but when theres a push or something commands my attention, i get an image in my third eye and when you see an elephant vs a chipmunk, you get a clear picture of what kind of energy you’re commanding … and you’ve earned it. all of it. so now you have to learn how to use it. but even as a 40 year old woman, my creative mind kicks in as an INFP/J to help me through it. after the fact, i try to reason it out. but creativity is the way out … because you have to get pulled out of the trenches sometimes … because you know this isn’t right but you also know that you have a date with destiny and you can either take a short cut or you can decide to use your GPS and get lost … but in the end, you still get there because it was my destiny to be a health human being.
——————————
Music and the Dead.
Listen to the music.
For the last 2 days, I'll hear, at very opportune times, michael Jackson screaming from his song "scream" and you at an image of yourself fighting to move forward ... and it works.
If I believe in anything, I believe in michael Jackson and Davey Jones coming in to make me smile. All you need is an uplift but then again, this could very well be a perk of an INFG.
Introvert.
Intuitive.
Feeling.
Good girl.
Again.
Spirit reality is in check.
Isaac Newton - dead guy commanding eye movements to recenter myself. I didn't know this ... and it worked. And I was humbled beyond all compare.
Salvatore Dali and Andy Warhol.
And the list goes on.
———————My archangels.
I just got wind that I have 7 archangels in the making with me.
I heard "Archangel in the making" and "she's gonna be an ascendant master"
What is an archangel?
A beam of white protective light, surrounding you.
It's funny how I'm most comfortable on Earth. I'm enjoying science a great deal. When I think of what an archangel is or hear that I'm commanding too much energy to survive ... I initially perk up about the archangels but then I get disappointed real fast because again, it keeps me from having a full-on Earth experience.
Gravity.
Atmospheric pressure. Is all there.
If I believe I have archangels around me, what does that to do me day in and day out? I get wish washy ... and then I died.
Nothing saved me that day.
And nothing has been able to intervene, i.e. "Call out 3xs to archangel Michael"
It never worked because my physical being commands meaning. The existential crisis conversation is mandatory for me right now because as a 9 which reigns supreme in my conglomerate, it is now my duty to get a relationship with a man ... right.
I love the mystery in the air but I don't need convincing there.
I need to know that there's a man out there who can be trusted and love me.
A man.
I know I'm protected but I can see that I'm also slowly being let back down ... and my gratitude runs deeply ... but now I have a new job to do.
———————
Standing in Tims O's house and I ripped western medicine a new asshole but in a way that was repetitive ... but woke up my traumatized self and showed me that my personality is going to be bigger, when I need it.
How many hats can a Pisces wear?
So now Tim. Seemingly thrown into a coma for no apparent reason. Was walking before - contracted MERSA in the neck and had pain and neurological issues in both hands. His respiration was becoming problematic and so the medical staff went with a medically induced coma. He checked out for 6 weeks and woke up, paralyzed.
Did the coma allow the bacterial infection to spread? You have to control that or it runs crazy, right?
I tried Taoist Color Healing with him, with a document that I had created. He's drawn to the color purple. I suggested Kelly green and yellow too. Out of my mouth - I think it's an Irish thing 😉
He's stubborn with a lot of things and so I encouraged him to think about it on a spectrum - stubborn with power or stubborn and rigid? He thought about it.
Then said he couldn't open up the file on his computer ... so I said to text me your email address. He almost never does these things ... texted me within 5 minutes.
Who am I working with?
Soul ... retrieval. Spirit resurrection.
Opening and closing my eyes?
Narrowing my target?
Nirvana: endless, nameless.
—————————————-
I kept hearing there's a "kickback" but what's a metaphor anyway?
I have a kickback with my breathing problems.
Western medicine doctors get kickbacks all the time.
Where is it?
Comas
Machines
Ventilators
——————————
Intuition.
Your awareness and connection to things you've already done before.
"I know this works."
"How do you know?!"
"I just do."
But there's always twists and turns and then you have gut instincts - and you have to make a call.
——————————
So the physical body … is manufactured for metaphysical medicine to help us navigate through our life lessons.
Stomach - I can't stomach this.
Why, little boy? .... God.
So male and females.
Males need to go through these stages and one hops out to become the guide/intuitive by nature ... to usher them along on their journeys.
Which is why the men in my life all opt out when things get hard.
Sean, "you make them think"
Which she streamed through so seemlessly. Send her up bob. Kurt's outside.
———————
I'm the sorcerer.
What do you need?
Pisces reigns supreme but the sorcerer brings it home and then the lion locks it in ... for ever more.
Everything she touches turns to gold.
—————————-
Extroverts ---> introvert progression
The introverts are the ones who are granted time alone.
There's another subset from the Myers Briggs ... I feel I've outgrown the INFP/J because i haven't seen too much but I've been through the unthinkable.
#archangels #archangelmichael #pisces #spiritretrieval #taoistcolorhealing #coma #medicallyinducedcoma #INFP #INFP/J
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Jung, mysticism and psychopomp signature.
Sept 28, 2017
chiron and carl jung
and the zodiac signs
taurus has to ascend. what does that even mean, right?
as i sat with this, i imagined somehow seeing a taurus - bull - rise up into the air and go up the heavens. I’m clueless.
so i sat with this some more and thought about the introvert, as she seems to be in need of the most help here.
there always comes a time when i have these breathing episodes and everything runs amok.
for example:
ok, how bad is this?
how bad will this be?
and then i have to sit with it and see if i reach a point where it will just stop or carry on for a bit longer. this morning’s episode was awful (i still blame the seroquel). there are many tricks that i will try - reasoning my way through it, sounds, rescue remedy, coffee, water, contemplation, whatever … but then ill even try talking to myself but out loud, pretending someone is there with me.
focus has been a BIG theme here … but now I’m realizing that its actually human connection.
so ill talk out loud and see if that works.
but this morning was difficult - it changed a lot but was also more stubborn until i started to realize just how bad this sheer terror is that i have around death.
i contemplated a couple of times whether or not i wanted to call 9/11 but that proved to be problematic for a few reasons - one namely, i was home alone and was stuck upstairs so i couldn’t really go all the way down stairs and then upstairs and then change my clothes, find my shoes, make sure the dogs were okay, etc.
but in my mind, it was clear to me that i just wanted someone around and sadly, other than my mom, EMS workers are my only shot.
how difficult is it to heal from all of this … on my own?
narcissistic abuse … emotional deficits all over the place … sheer terror … profound rejection
and yet no one to look to in the eye.
no one to “pull you out of it” when you need it the most.
so it could be that the introvert would have gotten hurt at any time because in the end, she’s the traumatized one. and now in order to get taurus to ascend, i have to find her and tell her it’s okay … but ask me if i believe that it will be?
theres a chakra component here though and as i started to type this, i felt the shift in my lower chakras rise. i saw a red/pink light in the distance.
i have lost the passion for life and living. because my life was taken from me. all of it. blindsided and then burned. you wake up and its ALL gone because YOU understand the gravity of the disaster that you will now have to face, its a sense of knowing.
the people around me are tired to me.
i was in love with something before. it wasn’t a man but it was … the air. the moon. the sun. and the stars.
isn’t it great? she thought.
and now the world around HER this time, not God … has grown dark.
its take a great amount of effort to get out of the house.
because i generally don’t care.
whats in it for me?
so i drifted off to the left, to look around and think.
i realized the contemplative aspect of me has also severely suffered. another I in NFP.
but it was then that i realized who she was and we reconnected.
morissey’s - how soon is now? ran through my head.
then out of the corner of my eye, i could see my phone lighting up but it wasn’t a notification - it was red, orange and yellow - and i heard “its a bird” and by the flames that encompassed this image, i could tell it was the phoenix. i smiled.
my left arm said “i want my life back”
and was happy for about a few seconds but then stopped because … life.
the magic doesn’t uplift me anymore.
i want to be concrete for a time and see that life can be mine again. but i feel like i am owed something … from someone and yet all avenues are shut.
chiron told me i had a job to do.
isn’t that always the case?
even if i found $50,000 and i moved out … my health is still bad. the nebulizer is the bane of my existence.
i have gone through so many phases where i THINK I’m going to ween myself off of it and then there’s a kick back … of something i don’t understand … but last time, i blame the sleep study. and again, even as smart as i am and as intuitive as i am … with my history, someone should have stepped in and said “no way … lets talk this out instead because you matter”.
everything comes … after the fact.
even the help.
—————
things worth mentioning bc it gets so sticky throughout the day - i have been having upper back pain and have had to lay on the floor and hearing some pops around my neck but the pain is around c4. i suspect the seroquel relaxed things TOO much and through this nerve into a mess. laying down doesn’t help but sleeping in the chair is causing numbness and tingling in my hands again. I’m getting pain in my infraspinatus - both sides. this can be the only thing that i can think of that causes weird and sudden attacks, randomly.
the episodes take forever to resolve. and the pain at SI9 gets worse when i have these episodes ... very local and sharp pain.
something else to note, i don’t know the stages in which the healing happens ... with the vertebrae ... passions and love ... C4 ... insane heartbreak and emotional neglect and lack of emotional support.
and then things calm down, after i get so angry because of the physical damage/repair thats STILL happening ... and you realize just how many layers you have to build UP and not work through ... to get to the emotional body ... and where intuition comes from as you’re doing acupuncture on a client and you see a blue/purple small round light appear on your left pointer finger and you hear “john lennon” is your intuitive guider of principles long forgotten like “love is all you need” because love makes you feel like you can overcome ANY of your demons. Victor said that when we were talking last year, that he felt more stable.
——
hindsight is 20-20 right?
Elizabeth Thorson told me that unless i get grounded, I’m not going to know what work I’ve done will stick.
That was …. about 8 months ago and THIS is how long its taking me … after her esteemed shamans all failed.
“love is all you need”
———————-
so at the end of the day, this has not been an uplifting journey. and i have a new definition of “enlightenment”.
but I just did a search online for remedies for herniated discs and came across st johns wort oil and elderberry.
i had been told by “myself” that i didn’t need the elderberry anymore.
funny enough, muscle pain and tension has been an issue ever since … and thats exactly what one website said it helps with.
pisces sabotage.
and where has the help from the other dimensions been for this?
and whats a firefly? and why was it getting in my way today?
this is all going to end up wrapping up and i have no say in anything. it has to happen and i don’t want to stay like this but there is no book or teacher that i have here on earth to reassure me that things are indeed winding down.
my entire life has been trauma. and many things happen suddenly. my death happened suddenly and has been MORE trauma.
I’m running into problems talking to some clients about things like … their grief bc instinctually, i pull from experience and can only be as “fake” honest as i can be, knowing they’re not going through what I’m going through.
but when the extra energy and interference is gone, what work is left for me to do? how quiet will life be? will it be a rough transition? and how much longer will i be alone? my mouth keeps saying … as if being fed words from the left … but think of how fruitful your life is going to be! and i go … prove it.
——
and as i try to just sit with what i just wrote, i also sit with one of my other selves who seems to be championing me … trying to tell me that she’s going to help me take melatonin tomorrow … and if she’s not here, to take it at 9pm.
THIS alone triggers my biggest fear but i should be allowed to …. SIT.
my eyes go to the keyboard … “christine’s biggest fear is coming up! meows!”
and now i have that on my mind … unless i just keep typing.
but is the electricity too much for me today?
FUCK.
spiritual awakening or spirit murder? this journey has been horrible.
————
lets talk.
so you’re all full of shit.
I’ve been astral traveling day in and day out to heal … myself.
taoist astral gods of healing.
i can call on whomever i need in a pinch.
but i “step outside” of myself to try and gain a different perspective right?
but she sees things i cannot.
i just wish there was more information because then i would have been more willing … and just allowed it to happen with an understanding.
theres other things going on that i am “feeling” out … and i suspect MY spirits are the ones swirling around, swiping shit away.
i started to become more and more suspicious of “the spirits reside within” … until you derail in the most horrifying way possible and they have to step in and do the work.
“we want our girl back!!!” - said to Petra who didn’t spend any time in exploring this with me. i dissociated but i didn’t black out. i heard the whole thing. she just watched …. and probably thought “ohhhh a case study … how freudian”
so who’s in my eyes?
I’ve already suspected a few things here … but i get the shen, liver, gall bladder and the bladder and the eyes.
i get that the shen scatter with trauma but something is a-miss.
——
earlier today, twice at least, i thought of arielle and her death. she died in her sleep. and i had been talking to a client about this tonight and said that we all have these experiences, day in and day out and while its not easy (she was struggling with losing her friend recently), its better to allow yourself the time to process it. i had shared with her the complications of dealing with my own death and coma, along with dealing and processing arielle’s. she died in her sleep and i fear dying in my sleep … and its two-fold because i now have a coma to contend with. its hard to figure this one out as its a lot of imagery more so than words attached to a feeling … and this could be the curse of an empath.
she was so young. when she initially came through, whether it was her or not, i was feeling something different towards her than others … i was shut down a bit and well, on some level, feeling at one with her.
“hey - hows it going - this shit is nuts right?”
“I’m sorry you’re dead, arielle.”
you’re DEAD.
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Shamanism and being an Empath.
Sept 26, 2017
Relationship RNFP --- INFP
This came to me after wondering about nick and then victor ... first, I realized the difference was that victor was single but I gave him the brush off because nick was overwhelming. But who's voice was I ignoring when my heart was all tangled up in his lies?
So now I stepped out of my comfort zone and "liked" a picture of victor's but haven't heard from him or anything. I was like "this is crazy" and now Adam Yauch is mine for the taking.
—————-
She's really angry now that you did that
She was trying to eat and panicked and tried to make space for you but the orange stood out and took her to a place that she wasn't ready for - these episodes are repeatedly ignored and I don't know what else to say bc she's always right
Sept 27, 2017
She's very funny but is now catching herself. But in the middle of the night realized how her UP self was a bit of protection - agrimony but not for other people
Chiron and the hippo.
She's losing site of things because people are losing site of her.
Wendy was emailing a lot about some trauma center and trauma meditation
And now Lindsey is inviting her to a short seminar on how to treat cancer with acupuncture. My mind just cant go there right now.
She's told them both repeatedly that she wasn't interested.
But people don't understand this kind of journey.
She thinks victor alluded to it yesterday and he's nailed her as an empath as well and no one has.
She's starting to understand the loner lifestyle John Lennon alluded to at Petras.
#shamanism #chiron #empath
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