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Spirrax Gargantuan aberration, lawful evil Armor Class 18 (natural armor) Hit Points 227 (13d20 + 91) Speed 20 ft., fly 50 ft. (hover) Str 26, Dex 10, Con 25, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 14 Saving Throws Dex +6, Int +8, Wis +7 Skills Perception +7 Senses passive Perception 17, truesight 60 ft. Languages - Challenge 18 (20000 XP) Adamantine Shell. The spirrax is surrounded by an adamantine-laced shell. While the shell is intact, the spirrax has immunity to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage from nonmagical attacks not made of adamantine, and any critical hit against the spirrax becomes a normal hit. The shell can be attacked (AC 20; 50 hit points; immunity to poison and psychic damage). If destroyed, the spirrax loses its immunities. The spirrax regrows its shell after 1 week. Aura Of Indifference. At the end of each of the spirrax’s turns, each creature within 120 feet of it must succeed on a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw or be overcome with waves of apathy. An affected creature can’t take actions or reactions and can’t move, and can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. A creature that succeeds on its saving throw is immune to the Aura of Indifference of all spirraxes for 24 hours. Death Spiral. When the spirrax dies, a planar rift opens up around its body. When this happens, each creature within 60 feet of the spirrax must succeed on a DC 17 Constitution saving throw or be sucked into the portal, and teleported to another plane, chosen randomly. A creature that succeeds on its saving throw can choose to enter the portal anyway. The portal then closes, bringing the spirrax’s remains with it. Magic Resistance. The spirrax has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Sense Emotions. The spirrax can detect the presence and location of creatures that aren’t constructs, oozes, plants, or undead, within 120 feet of it. Actions Multiattack. The spirrax makes six tentacle attacks. Tentacle. Melee Weapon Attack: +14 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d6+8) piercing damage plus 3 (1d6) necrotic damage. Void Blast (Recharge 5-6). The spirrax emits a blast of negative energy in a 60-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 21 Constitution saving throw, taking 70 (20d6) necrotic damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If this damage reduces a creature to 0 hit points, that creature and everything it is wearing and carrying, except magic items, is reduced to a pile of fine gray dust. The creature can be restored to life only by means of a true resurrection or a wish spell.

Monstrosities of unending hunger, spirraxes relentlessly destroy any world they come across, using only some of the matter they rend asunder to sustain their seemingly-endless lives. The rest is merely laid waste to, leaving behind a spiraling swath of destruction, only metal and stone surviving, dotted with strange spiral shapes as sign of its passing. Little is known about spirraxes’ origins. What is known is that they will commonly retreat from battle soon after their shell is destroyed, hiding somewhere safe to give themselves time to regrow it. A spirrax is around 22 feet long, weighing 70 tons in total, of which 50 tons is its shell. 

Originally from the Monster Manual V.

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Twigjack Tiny fey, chaotic evil Armor Class 15 (natural armor) Hit Points 45 (10d4 + 20) Speed 30 ft. Skills Stealth +7 Damage Vulnerabilities fire Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 12 Languages Common, Sylvan Challenge 3 (700 XP) Bramble Jump. Once on each of its turns, while standing in an area of undergrowth, the twigjack can use 10 feet of its movement to magically teleport to an unoccupied space within 120 feet that it can see that also contains undergrowth. Sneak Attack (1/Turn). The twigjack deals an extra 7 (2d6) damage when it hits a target with a weapon attack and has advantage on the attack roll, or when the target is within 5 feet of an ally of the twigjack that isn’t incapacitated and the twigjack doesn’t have disadvantage on the attack roll. Actions Multiattack. The twigjack makes two claw attacks. Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d4+3) slashing damage. Splinterspray (Recharge 6). The twigjack emits a spray of splinters in a 20 foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a DC 12 Dexterity saving throw, taking 14 (4d6) piercing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Twigjacks torment travelers through the oldest forests with the deepest roots, attacking settlements and any attempt at taming the wilderness. Yet even treants cannot stand the small creatures, who are nimble and adept at getting in the nooks and crannies of the great treants. Sometimes these tiny creatures attempt to impress a dryad, usually without much luck. They resent being seen as plants, and are occasionally pressed into service by goblins for their skill in forceful surprise attacks. 

Originally from the Pathfinder Bestiary 2.

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Night Twist Large plant, neutral evil Armor Class 14 (natural armor) Hit Points 231 (22d10 + 110) Speed 10 ft. Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing Damage Vulnerabilities fire Condition Immunities blinded, deafened, exhaustion Senses darkvision 120 ft., tremorsense 60 ft. passive Perception 12 Languages understands Common, Elven, and Sylvan, but cannot speak Challenge 12 (8400 XP) Death Curse. When the night twist is killed, the creature that killed it must succeed on a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw or be cursed. The curse causes the creature’s sleep to be plagued with nightmares. If the creature needs to sleep, it is unable to, and gains one level of exhaustion each morning. After gaining a level of exhaustion, an affected creature may repeat the saving throw, ending the effect for itself on a success. A remove curse spell cast on the creature also ends the effect for that creature. If an affected creature dies before the curse is removed, and its remains are buried, a new night twist begins to grow on the site of its grave after 1 month. Song Of Despair. While it is night, the night twist constantly emits a sorrowful song, which can be heard up to 1200 feet from it. Whenever a creature that can hear the song enters within 1200 feet of the night twist, that creature must make a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw. On a successful save, the creature is immune to the Song of Despair of all night twists for 24 hours. On a failed save, the creature is charmed by the night twist. While charmed in this way, the creature moves toward the night twist, and takes no other actions. When it reaches the night twist, it stands within 5 feet of it, taking no action. If a remove curse spell is cast on the affected creature, the effect ends. If an affected creature takes damage, it may repeat the save, ending the effect on itself on a success. Actions Multiattack. The night twist can use Wind Blast if it is able to. It then makes three slam attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 10 ft., one creature. Hit: 20 (3d8+7) bludgeoning damage. Wind Blast (Recharge 5-6). A powerful wind emanates from the night twist, extinguishing all open flames within 120 feet of it. Each creature within that radius must succeed on a DC 17 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

Often, travelers through the dark forests and marshes of the world will hear a haunting melody wafting through the trees. The song always sounds like the most sorrowful thing the listener can imagine; it never sounds alike to two different people. What they can all agree on is its allure, magically drawing toward the old, dead-looking, twisted tree that sings it. There, the night twist attacks its prey, consuming the festering corpses that remain. Night twists stand around 15 feet tall and weigh at least 6,000 pounds. They do not seem to die naturally, though no one knows for sure. The older the night twist, the larger it grows, and the truly ancient ones are said to have attained massive size, and are far more formidable. 

Originally from the Monster Manual III

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Another entry to the Book! The Sirens!

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Bearhound Large monstrosity, neutral good Armor Class 14 (natural armor) Hit Points 133 (14d10 + 56) Speed 40 ft. Saving Throws Dex +5, Wis +5 Skills Stealth +5, Survival +5, Perception +5 Damage Resistances cold Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 15 Languages Common, Sylvan Challenge 7 (2900 XP) Keen Smell. The bearhound has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Magic Weapons. The bearhound’s weapon attacks are magical. Trackless Step. The bearhound can’t be tracked except by magical means. Hunter’s Savagery (3/Day). As a bonus action, the bearhound can add 1d10 to its next attack or damage roll with a melee weapon attack. Actions Multiattack. The bearhound makes three attacks: one with its bite, and two with its claws. Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (2d8+6) piercing damage. If the target is a Large or smaller creature, it must succeed on a DC 17 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 10 (1d8+6) slashing damage.

Bearhounds are elusive loners, such that they are considered a myth by many. They live alone, hunting and keeping to themselves, only rarely finding a cause worthy of their attention. In these cases, they make for powerful allies. These creatures stand 6-½ feet tall and weigh around 2000 pounds.

Originally from the Monster Manual III.

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Bonedrinker Medium undead, chaotic evil Armor Class 14 (natural armor) Hit Points 127 (15d8 + 60) Speed 30 ft. Damage Immunities poison Condition Immunities exhaustion, frightened, poisoned Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 12 Languages understands Common Challenge 6 (2300 XP) Keen Smell. The bonedrinker has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Undead Fortitude. If damage reduces the bonedrinker to 0 hit points, it must make a Constitution saving throw with a DC of 5 + the damage taken, unless the damage is radiant or from a critical hit. On a success, the bonedrinker drops to 1 hit point instead. Actions Multiattack. The bonedrinker uses Bonedrink. It then makes four attacks: two with its tentacles, and then two with its claws. Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 8 (1d8+4) slashing damage. Tentacle. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (1d10+4) piercing damage and the target is grappled (escape DC 14). Until this grapple ends, the bonedrinker can’t use this tentacle to make attacks or grapple another target. The bonedrinker has two tentacles. Bonedrink. Each creature grappled by the bonedrinker must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw, On a failed save, the creature takes 16 (3d10) necrotic damage, its Strength score is reduced by 1d4, and the bonedrinker regains 5 hit points. The creature dies if this reduces its Strength to 0, and its skeleton dissolves completely. Otherwise, the reduction lasts until the creature finishes a short or long rest.

The bonedrinker is a truly disgusting creature, first created by hobgoblin wizards who invented the ritual to animate them. Originally, bugbear corpses were used, and later goblins. They are often mistaken for ghasts, but the tentacles that grow from the oozing sores beneath their arms are a giveaway that this is no common undead. The sores constantly grow the longer the creature goes without feeding on bone marrow, evidence of its desperation. The creature attacks by slashing with its claws, then stabbing its tentacles deep into the victim’s flesh, secreting a necrotic fluid that breaks down bone into a thick liquid, which the bonedrinker then slurps up through its tentacles. Bonedrinkers prey only on creatures with skeletal structures, ignoring all other prey unless attacked. The hungrier they grow, the more savage and desperate they behave. Bone marrow is to the bonedrinker as blood is to a vampire; they cannot live long without it. However, some have been found in ancient tombs and ruins, sealed away for centuries, somehow still animate. Their hunger, in that case, is truly terrible to behold. A bonedrinker stands around 7 feet tall on average and weighs about 225 pounds.

Originally from the Monster Manual III 

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Lifeleech Otyugh Large aberration, true neutral Armor Class 16 (natural armor) Hit Points 114 (12d10 + 48) Speed 30 ft. Str 20, Dex 11, Con 19, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 6 Saving Throws Con +7 Damage Resistances necrotic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks Senses darkvision 120 ft. passive Perception 11 Languages Otyugh Challenge 8 (3900 XP) Limited Telepathy. The otyugh can magically transmit simple messages and images to any creature within 120 feet of it that can understand a language. This form of telepathy doesn’t allow the receiving creature to telepathically respond. Spell-Strengthened Hide. The otyugh’s hide is toughened by magical energy. Whenever a creature within 5 feet of the otyugh hits it with a melee weapon attack, that creature takes 2 (1d4) lightning damage. Lifeleech Aura. At the end of each of the otyugh’s turns, each creature within 60 feet of it takes 2 (1d4) necrotic damage. Creatures other than the otyugh can’t regain hit points or gain temporary hit points while within 60 feet of the otyugh. Whenever a creature with temporary hit points moves within 60 feet of the otyugh, it loses those hit points and the otyugh gains temporary hit points equal to the temporary hit points the creature lost. Whenever a creature would regain hit points while within 60 feet of the otyugh, the otyugh regains hit points equal to the number the creature would have regained. Actions Multiattack. The otyugh makes three attacks: one with its bite and two with its tentacles. Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (2d8+5) piercing damage plus 4 (1d8) necrotic damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw against disease or become poisoned until the disease is cured. Every 24 hours that elapse, the target must repeat the saving throw, reducing its hit point maximum by 5 (1d10) on a failure. The disease is cured on a success. The target dies if the disease reduces its hit point maximum to 0. This reduction to the target’s hit point maximum lasts until the disease is cured. Tentacle. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (1d8+5) bludgeoning damage plus 4 (1d8) piercing damage and 4 (1d8) necrotic damage. If the target is Medium or smaller, it is grappled (escape DC 16) and restrained until the grapple ends. The otyugh has two tentacles, each of which can grapple one target. Tentacle Slam. The otyugh slams creatures grappled by it into each other or a solid surface. Each creature must succeed on a DC 16 Constitution saving throw or take 12 (2d6 + 5) bludgeoning damage and be stunned until the end of the otyugh’s next turn. On a successful save, the target takes half the bludgeoning damage and isn’t stunned.

This rare variety of the otyugh has been warped by magic to consume not only refuse but life energy. They lurk in subterranean dungeons and sewers, covering themselves in the detritus and sludge. Evil spellcasters sometimes tame them to use as allies.

Originally from the Monster Manual III.

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Zern Blade Thrall Large monstrosity, neutral evil Armor Class 15 (natural armor) Hit Points 73 (7d10 + 35) Speed 40 ft. Condition Immunities paralyzed, poisoned, stunned Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 9 Languages Zern Challenge 4 (1100 XP) Adaptive Defenses. The blade thrall has advantage on Constitution saving throws. If the blade thrall succeeds on a Constitution saving throw against a spell or effect, it is immune to the effects of that spell or effect for 24 hours. The blade thrall can suppress this immunity selectively, and at will. Fast Healing. The blade thrall’s body rapidly repairs itself. At the start of each of its turns, if the zern has at least 1 hit point, it regains 10 hit points. Actions Multiattack. The blade thrall makes two attacks with its bone blades. Bone Blade. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d6+4) slashing damage. Net. Ranged Weaon Attack: +6 to hit, range 5/15 ft., Hit: The target is restrained. The target, or another creature within 5 feet of it, can use its action to make a DC 10 Strength check, freeing the target on a success. Dealing 5 slashing damage to the net (AC 10) also frees the target without harming it, ending the effect and destroying the net.

Just one of the many common forms the zern experiments take, blade thralls are used as personal bodyguards of zern, tasked with sometimes suicidal tasks to defend their master. The zern see their blade thralls as a disposable resource, holding the front line while the zern blasts foes with chaotic energy. Crafted by the zerns, these creatures are unable to reproduce, and in theory could live forever, but most die after a few years in service. Blade thralls are around 7 feet tall and weigh around 2,100 pounds.

Originally from the Monster Manual IV

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Hi. I. Haven't been using this much but I just had a massive breakdown so. Here I am.

Until last Monday, I was alone during quarantine. My way of dealing with this is the same way I dealt with shit when I was younger, I went numb. I have been numb for almost 2 months and while it isn't ideal. It isn't awful either, it's helped me survive. Once it kicked in I was able to go about my day and just. Live, and not have breakdowns every night.

But. Since my flatmate has come back up, having actual human contact has made me slightly less numb. I can feel my emotions coming back and it's going to be a mess and a complete shit show. As tonight showed. I almost wish I could just stay numb. Its not particularly nice, but it's easier.

Because of the numbness I've also been able to approach a lot of issues in a slightly more productive, non biased way and I'm afraid I'm going to lose that. I have. Definitely made progress with some shit, mainly to do with relationships because hoo boy my relationships with my parents fucked up how I view other relationships. But I am really working on it and working on my jealousy issues. So. Character Development. Woooo

Hopefully having emotions again will only help this process and not fuck it up because I'm kinda proud of some of the stuff I've managed to deal with.

Additionally, having emotions again will really put it to the test. I've been on easy mode so far lmao

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We going from horny to depressed in the blink of an eye tonight bois

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OK so. I wasn't going to do this today but it's probably better while it's in my head. For the record I actually feel OK right now this is more. A reflection thing.

The past 2 months have been hell. The year over has been pretty decent but the past 2 months have been hellish. I've been in a deeper depression than I have been in years, I've been suicidal. To the point where I was. A minute away from actually attempting. Despite all the help I could have I've felt incredibly lonely and isolated, I've had weeks where I didn't see the point of leaving bed, didn't see the point of eating, honestly didn't see the point of living. I've been fighting to try and sort this out but it's really Fucking Hard.

Some good things have happened. I went away to Donegal with my girlfriend for our anniversary which I really enjoyed but. It just kinda highlighted how much of a bitch depression is because I had a wonderful time but I still felt awful. I still woke up one morning and started crying because my brain was telling me things that really hurt me and that are completely untrue but I didn't have the willpower the argue against.

Also despite it not being the case, Ive felt incredibly alone. And this is my fault, I've isolated myself but even when I have been around people I've kinda retreated into myself and not been as present as I should have been. I've found being round friends very difficult recently because I can't be the friend they want or need because I just don't have the energy and then I feel guilty and then. Well it all goes to shit. But isolating myself isn't the answer either.

But honestly. The hardest thing I've had to deal with is how unloved and unlovable my brain has made me feel recently. Telling me complete and utter bullshit to make me feel like my friends, and mainly my girlfriend hate me and want nothing to do with me. But it's got a new tactic that I really struggle with fighting against that is telling me she hates me, and is more into one of her other friends and would rather be with them than me. Not only does this make me feel. All kinds of shit it turns me against the friend. Who I actually really like! and I hate that my brain is doing this. It makes me feel toxic because then I start to question what sort of girlfriend I am to think this sort of thing.

I know where it comes from and why but that doesn't help me fight this off and I really struggle with getting past it sometimes. I know it's bullshit but in the moment I don't know how to tell myself that.

I really hope I can get out of this for next year and sort myself out because I'm ready to leave it behind and actually be mentally healthy for once.

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yknow what my main issue is??? I feel like I'll never be good enough

My girlfriend deserve the world and I. Can't give that to her. I'll never be good enough to deserve her and that obviously really fucks with my self confidence. I'm sure she disagrees but like. That doesn't change what going on in my mind.

I cannot. Will never be. Able to give her what she deserves and it fucking breaks me. She should have so much more than me and I would never blame her for breaking up with me if it came to that. Because I'd only blame myself. But it's so hard when you can see all the reasons someone should breakup with you and while still trying to believe that they genuinely want to be with you. And they just refuse to break up with you out of pity

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Brains suck lmao

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I am. Going to go on a rant later but I'm out rn so I can't really but. More To Come

Brains suck lmao

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Brains suck lmao

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Genuinely the worst part of being in a relationship with a girl is that we have our periods at different times