themasterofalchemy

[themasterofalchemy]

Growing in a Purple Nursery

My nan and aunt said I aught to be nicer, I asked them where nice had gotten them.

Unnecessarily cruel, That's how I've been.

I stayed quiet the rest of that drive, Wholly afraid at what might come out of my mouth.

Trying to ignore my reflection looking out the window, The voice inside saying, whatever road I'm on is one going south.

I've been feeling mean, trying to get clean I've brought myself back home- To a purple nursery.

Maybe it's my jeans, wearing at the knees, A child falling as she roams- Her internal compass unsteady

Choosing to be kind is for you not the others, I had forgotten, but I'm being guided.

To be unnecessarily cruel, Is to ignore a higher purpose of a world and self united.

I've been staring in the mirror, Having much needed diplomatic conversations

Reflections of what was and wishes of what could, A love for me and all is a deep aspiration.

I've been feeling hope, a tug at my rope Here back at home- In a purple nursery

Better ways to cope, viewing the larger scope To be a woman walking up the road- With her head on steady.

[themasterofalchemy]

Scattered Thoughts of a Greek Tragedy

I don't know, we weren't having sex I suppose you had to find another warm hole to crawl into.

I don't know, I felt unseen and a wreck I suppose I had to find a stronger shoulder to cry onto.

........

Even now,

You linger like a kiss from death on a corpse bride. A fatal pestilence I almost didn't survive,

Left disavowed.

...........

The saddest part of the story is how fucking long it is. Endless chapters of the same cretinous bullshit.

I couldn't fuck you if I was seeing straight, We couldn't get along unless we were blazed,

I don't know,

I could go on and on for days.

...............

I ran to you frightened and unsure, As Cassandra did to Troy.

I wasn't cursed, just naive and poor, A Helen to beat down and destroy.

I killed myself for your wicked mercy, The lashes were unseen but I was walking in agony. In the end you played the role of Medea faithfully, Killing everything in your path to rip my golden fleece.

I ran to you frightened and unsure like a fool - Now I take refuge by the Aegean shore everyday becoming more cruel,

Endlessly contemplating my part in the story.

........................

How did we wake up the next morning Knowing my heart was laying next to someone else?

Sitting together drinking our coffee Like the issue was a tabloid magazine to be put back on a shelf.

A sincere coward with no respect Holding hands with a man that soundly slept,

A blissful morning - if one forgets

The coffee is bitter, The magazine to consider,

And my heart laying next to someone else.

......................................

I don't know,

I think we put Greek tragedies to shame.

[themasterofalchemy]

The Star

You are more shadow than man. My love, Is there any fire left in your eyes?

A downtrodden God doing all he can. My Sun, You were never meant for darkness,

Come take respite in my moonlight.

[themasterofalchemy]

Only

At night I wonder where you lay your head. In the morning I ponder if you make your bed.

I don't know these trivial things, I only know I love you,

I know only you make me sing

My masked phantom who sends me dreams; The angel of music singing bittersweet melodies. I would run to you if only you would let me, Yet you only sigh and say, "let her mind wander, my little Lotte."

During the day I wonder if I have lost my mind, I hear you laughing somewhere, "if not yet, only a matter of time."

A poet that does not reflect makes Shelley roll in her grave. I'm not fond of being haunted by ghosts but my phantom love, it is only you I crave.

So I spend every second of every day singing the songs you have written. I wait for your harmony but only find silence echoing in the walls of this prison.

At night I wonder how you would hold me. In the morning I find my voice is tired and shaky.

I don't know anything.

I only know I love you.

I know only you make me sing.

[themasterofalchemy]

Who's to say? (I would title it maybe, but I think that would be getting excessive)

Maybe, maybe, maybe

Maybe she saw something he was yet to see Maybe she made him up entirely

Maybe the fates themselves had no idea they would have so much chemistry

Maybe, maybe, maybe

Maybe her love affirmed his deformity Maybe it is just poor compartmentalizing

Maybe it is just a game and all involved are losing miserably

Maybe, maybe, maybe

You ever say a word so many times that it doesn't sound real and somewhere loses it's meaning?

Maybe, maybe, maybe

Maybe it comes down to timing Maybe it is the planets aligning Maybe it is a red thread in a silver lining

Maybe

Maybe maybe is driving me to insanity

Who's to say?

[themasterofalchemy]

Wicked upbringings make appeasing daughters

Penelope was brought up by a small town preacher out in Idaho. He wielded the word of god while instilling sin deep into her bones.

She became as frail as a dove wearing a crown of thorns, she searched everyday for a woman she wasn't sure was ever born.

Fled into the night and walked until she could not take a step more. Desperate, she took advice that said life is easier for whores

Wicked upbringings make appeasing daughters, appeasing daughters stay victims all their lives. A soul with deep sorrow cannot hold up a mirror, nor can a bird with broken wings ever fly

From a home built on unholy ground to a heavily perfumed house, She carried her rosary but knew Mary was not listening to her worries or doubts

Just another soiled dove working down in the south of Texas; wielding the loveliest smile and thus given the pet name of precious.

Rose quickly to be being the madam's most popular girl. The local saying was, a precious night was worth the world

Wicked upbringings make appeasing daughters, appeasing daughters make outlaws of men. Pink cheeked at carrying out acts most sinister, upon doves that will never feel the wind again

Precious kept conversation as light as the feathers in her hair, yet her company was easy, like she really wanted you to be there.

Over time she forgot she had been given a name at her birth. Most days she just sat contemplating what her life was worth.

Tired of digging nails into the cage that surrounded her, she bared her teeth and found a timid bird swallowed by tiger

Yes Penelope was precious, as perfectly precious as soiled doves could be. The fairest became rebellious, deciding, I will not live and die in shame for another's blasphemy

Wicked upbringings make appeasing daughters, women who have no reflection when they dare to look in a mirror Creating an endless cycle of outlaws and fates sinister, believing they deserve it all because they are a sinner The lucky ones tire of only reflecting what is standing before them. Penelope for example, never went by the name of precious again. The wings of these song birds forever stay broken, but a soiled dove can become a mighty lion, an appeasing daughter to the wisest of women,

Who preach a good gospel against sensitive martyrdom

[themasterofalchemy]

Do you believe in love at first sight?

a friend of mine once said it well and plain; love at first encounter.

i would agree by saying it’s like recognizing a puzzle piece you’ve been searching for.

taylor swift said it best and in song,

“I was enchanted to meet you”

TLTR or TLTL (too long to listen) -

yes i believe in love at first sight.

[themasterofalchemy]

days of rest

[themasterofalchemy]

Rabbit Holes and Cosmic Tea Parties

(This is the last time I will revise this poem, I think I finally have put to pen what I was trying to say)

When I was done dying my heart pulsed again And the white rabbits all ran out of my head

To the meadow they knew but foreign to me I tried to fit in but felt I was hunting

Confusing me so, I had no weapon in hand I cried for a time, loathing the curse of man

Those tears formed a river that carried me down Away from the meadow I knew nothing about

And like that I was tossed into a sea so wide, Head barely above water choking out why

The heavens replied with more rain in turn, "This seems to be the only way you learn"

Titling my head back, dreaming of salvation Then Jupiter themself gave me an invitation

Where I sat at the head of a table soaking wet And the planets and stars told me not to fret

"Such worry for a simple hare with a pocket watch Time is elastic, have some tea and lighten up"

Hysteria brewed and struck like a snake; Launching my goblet of honey wine away

To which flies came and slurped up my mess And the powers that be scolded, "Now you’ve gone and ruined your dress"

How confusing, for I was already drenched in shame I laughed through a sob, Oh this? What’s another stain?

In defeat I cried, loathing the curse of man A sorrow the celestial voyeurs could not understand

So my tears formed a river that carried me down Away from the table I knew nothing about

And like that I plummeted to a ground unforgiving, My bones shattered and I found it was a pain I'd been missing

I dared to look up and saw the still white rabbits Who came closer and said, "we need to talk about your habits"

"Where are you going and who will you be?" I never gave it a thought! I did not think it could be!

Dead men walking think not of future possibilities or hope, My heart pulses again yet my neck still adorns a tight rope

Like I am tethered to infamy and hopelessly lost Looking for signs on a toll road where I can’t pay the cost

I laid until it was dusk when fireflies arrived and I raised a trembling hand, May I wish on one of you, I asked, would you help a humbled man?

A small fellow landed in my open palm and twinkled a how dee doo, To which I sighed, I’ve been better, but who hasn’t, that’s life for you

Do you have a spare wish in your pocket you could grant me? I’m afraid I wouldn’t even be able to give you a dirty penny

It blinked once more then gave a cheerful wink As though to say, just one I will give, be sure to think

I thought of the meadow, the table and the tears in between What could I ask to try to make sense of what I have seen?

We sat together till the moon kissed the sun good morning I blushed at the sight and felt my own heart glowing

Morning glories bloomed while the evening primrose said goodnight I brought my friend to my face and said, I have made a decision alright

The little miracle worker flew to my nose without hesitation I softly giggled, I'm sorry I've kept you in such anticipation

Yet you see my pal, I have this curse of man that makes me a river I am violent and so cold to where a polar bear would shiver

I see now I have this life to live and I want to be different I wish to move more gently, I wish to carry a softer current

Let me be a lake that reflects the moon and sun's love, Where I nurture a meadow and my spring rises above

Before my last syllable was out the ground moved and ebbed To make a long story short, I became what I manifested

The white rabbits no longer run, they say thank you each day when they drink from me While Jupiter and friends pour in the finest of champagnes and the sweetest teas

Long ago I died and then my heart pulsed again And while it took time to find my perfect rhythm

The very water I am made of has alchemized In my own water, I was newly baptized

(Also! Hello! If you have made it this far, thanks! You reading really means a lot to me. I also have a little announcement; at the time this is published, most of my previous works will no longer be able to view. Like this poem talks about, I feel myself going through a new phase. I thought of just creating a new blog but I love the identity of the Master of Alchemy and want to continue to write under the handle. However, moving forward I want works that reflect creativity and passion PAIRED WITH editing and care I did not have the focus for previously. Once again, thank you for reading

Love always, The Master of Alchemy (lexi for those still reading))

[themasterofalchemy]

What the fuck ever, daddy issues is the title

I have whatever daddy had that made him need to run As if I am allergic to pleading eyes and lullabies See I am playing games like there is a prize to be won

My daddy said, Girl you best always have the good sense, To hide the damning evidence And run before the law gets wise

Daddy said, Girl make sure your shoes are tied and checked Shoot, kick out the legs of your friends If that means you cover your own hide

My daddy gave me his long legs and ability to run Now I'm finding I'm eyes closed, deaf to lullabies And playing endless games of tag I've never won

Just like daddy did

[themasterofalchemy]

Disgusted at my own creation

Your portrait hangs in the museum of my worst regret, Tucked in the corner next to the mosaic of a shattered tea set

A loss of innocence, Hopes shattered like porcelain,

A god hating its creation’s existence

I painted the expression of pure love and admiration, and claimed it wasn’t so To capture a perfect moment before the world imploded, and when it did, I was already down the road

This mausoleum shows these many losses An alter of shame and shrine of purposelessness

Tossing rice at the decrepit monuments

In the underpainting, the word guilt rests in the middle of your chest Yet it screams that I am grotesque and filled with cowardice

I consider this piece to be the worst I have done I am now afraid of what my hands can do I hold no love for the muse I now shun As if my heart was a canvas stripped new

Your portrait is an unsightly caricature of a man devoted A sight I cannot stand or ever even wanted So here I will sit disgusted Flinching at the sight of my own creation

[themasterofalchemy]

thanks for follow 💗

i always love reading what you post 🤍

[themasterofalchemy]

I MEAN - Robin Williams was just that guy

Fern Gully was a movie that meant a lot to me as a kid, i think of it as a love child between the beauty of nature and of divine whimsy.

in hindsight, i do think someone should have found it strange that i related to the neurotic bat afraid of everything due to a very unfortunate backstory rather than Crysta. oh well. anywho,

lyrics i love break down:

“i been brain - fried, electrified, infected and injectified, vivosectified and fed pesticides”

this lyric i don't think i fully appreciated as a kid

“they used and abused me battered and bruised me red wires green wires stuck em’ right through me, so hear my batty word, and exercise a little prudence, when dealing with humans”

this lyric i unfortunately have always fully appreciated

“MEDICATE MEEEE”

this is still my favorite thing to randomly belt out

[themasterofalchemy]

Yes well I read you often, you're a poem, written by the hand of God during her calligraphy class...

crying, i think this is the nicest thing i’ve ever been told ???? thank you reader 🤍

[themasterofalchemy]

if i ever have a book, id like this photo to be the “meet the author”

[themasterofalchemy]

Your profile is so beautiful!! 🩵🩵

You write so well too, what beautiful poems and blog ✨

thank you so much 🥹 it makes me beyond happy you’ve enjoyed reading them! i love reading yours as well!!

[themasterofalchemy]

so!! i dont ever share non original creations on this blog

however!!!!!

i would be remiss to not share a song that has gripped me by throat for longer than i would care to admit.

i keep this blog to document life as it unfolds in front of me. this song has been a friend and an enemy.

take that as you will.

two specific lyrics i love are:

“put a shotgun in my mouth

somehow, it shot me in the foot”

and

“and fuck me, wish that it didn’t

but it does, it does, it does, it does”