thelightside - Tumblr blog

thelightside · 5 years

Text

Ben’s Ascent (Ben’s POV)

“As I fell, so falls the last Skywalker” is the last thing Ben hears before he’s launched through the air and darkness consumes him.

He wakes up with his body in so much pain, a mix of his own and Rey’s agony shudders through his body. He tries to lift himself and quickly learns of his broken leg when he almost passes out again.

No, you have to, you have to pull through Ben, for her he affirms in his mind as the feeling of Rey’s suffering on the other end of the bond bore into his mind, strengthening his resolve.

He won’t just let her fight Palpatine alone, because just as he reassured her in the small damp hut on Ahch-To, she wasn’t alone. He feels the force move in crashing waves around him. The dark side of the force manifesting in lightning that lit up the entire cavern in a sickly pale light.

Ben grit his teeth as he begun his ascent out of the pit. He felt the rock begin to cut into his fingers as he dug them hard into the jagged stone in the effort to support his body weight. He moved at the fastest pace he could manage, using his good leg to support as he reached for higher holds.

He doesn’t know how he got to the middle of his climb when he finally acknowledges how high he is. High enough that with already so much damage done to his body, if he falls, he will certainly die.

Just as this thought passed through his mind, the rock where his leg was supporting his weight gave way. He desperately grasped for more holds and shifted his body onto his broken leg.

The pain was so dizzying that he almost let go. He was sure that he had felt worse pain, after all he was Snoke’s apprentice for so many years. One of the first lessons he learned was to use pain to encourage the dark side within him. How Snoke’s lightning use to stab at his skin, making every single pain receptor scream, sometimes even causing blood to leak from his ears and nose.

As he started to be consumed by his damaging memories he suddenly felt a calming light begin to shine through the dark. Her light, Rey’s light, entered his body as he felt her stir on the other side of the bond.

Tears pricked at his eyes as he held on to a secure hold with just one hand that was beginning to tremble.

“I’m so sorry that I let you down again. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough. I love you.” He willed his message through the bond, hoping that she heard him as his hand began to slip.

Just when his fingers were going to give up whispers started to surround him with a caressing force.

“Ben”

“Ben, rise”

“Rise Ben, be redeemed as I have”

“Redeemed for love”

“Find strength in the Light, you will”

“We stand behind you Ben”

“We are always with you”

“Be strong against the Dark, as generations of Jedi have before you”

“The force surrounds you Ben, flows through you”

“Be reborn in the Light, Ben”

“RISE”

“Ben, the force will be with you always”

He felt the strength of a thousand generations flow through him, willing his body to reach and grab at the cliff side with renewed strength. He moved his body toward the opening as he felt Rey’s power become his own. The blood on his fingers mixing with dirt as he took each hold.

Suddenly as he started to get near the top, the force rebounded so strongly he felt his body still against the incline. With a flash of light, he felt the ground rumble as the cavern started to crumble and cave in on itself. He felt the snap of Palpatine’s death ring in the force as the light sang triumphantly. For a moment he felt truly free. For the first time in his entire existence Palpatine wasn’t there. Whispering promises and lies, the nightmares, killing him from the inside out, taking everything he ever loved with him. He was free.

He then also felt Rey’s light shine so brightly it almost burned and then as quick as the light came, it went out.

The breath left him as he hugged his body close to the ragged incline.

No, no no no no no no, this isn’t right

No this isn’t how it was supposed to go.

Please for everything I am, this can’t be right.

Please god anyone but her.

Thoughts ran ragged through his mind as he felt for her in their bond and his heart stopped when it felt numb.

He couldn’t breathe. It felt like his lungs collapsed in his chest. The open wound of their bond where there once was love and understanding, made him shake with pain and loss. He felt like he was missing a limb, feeling for something that should be there but isn’t.

A part of him wanted to let go. Let go of the cliff he had been battling against with his broken body. A dark part of him that acknowledged that she was the only thing left for him. His only person left, the only thing that mattered anymore. It would be easier, better if he just let go.

Suddenly his mind filled with memories of her. Her eyes, her smile, her determination, her stubbornness. The warmth that coursed through his body when she took his hand and was the first to tell him that he wasn’t alone. They way she said his name with such hope. The visions that he had of them, of their future together. All of that gone.

“No.”

He repeated the word inside his head like a mantra till it echoed around his mind pushing the devastation out of its way. Allowing him to push through the last couple of feet to the top, no longer caring about the pain. He finally grabbed at the entrance of the pit, hoisting himself up with one final push of energy. He didn’t feel the relief when his body hit the level ground because his eyes were raking the ground for her.

Then he found her. She looked so small among the debris. He was limping his way toward her crumpled white form and nothing could of stopped him. As Ben made his way toward her, he stumbled and almost collapsed but continued to push through the immense waves of pain and exhaustion crashing on every cell in his body as he lifted himself back up.

When he reached her, he fell to his knees, his legs no longer able to support his weight after seeing her body up close. He dragged himself toward her after what seemed like an eternity of fighting his battered body, he finally reached for her and grabbed at her arm, at anything.

He then pulled her onto his lap trying to be as close to her as possible almost as if he was trying to make up for breaking their promise. Make up for the fact that he promised that she wasn’t alone but in the end she was.

He supported her limp head in his hand and it felt like his heart stopped beating when his eyes met her glassy lifeless ones, so unlike the ones that looked at him with such hope and adoration when she realized he came to help her fight the emperor. He looked away, trying to swallow the sob that wanted to tear through his body.

He hugged her body to his as if to feel if there was any life left, anything left of the fiery scavenger girl he had be running after for what seemed like his entire life. At that moment, he knew what he had to do, he knew he had the strength to do it.

He pulled away, closed his eyes, and put his palm to her abdomen, breathing long and slow, as if trying to take in more life with each breath. He focused everything into his hand, all he ever was, all he ever will be into his palm transferring into the woman he loved. The warmth, light, and freedom he had only really had for less than a day poured into her and he didn’t care all he needed was for her to exist.

His wish came true when he felt the last drop of life leave him and he felt a hand touch his. His eyes opened to find hers staring back at him.

For a while, they just stared at each other. Rey looked at him with such pure happiness and wonder. Ben looked upon her like she was a place of worship, his gaze bled with tired adoration. The feeling of love made their bond sing in such a way it was almost dizzying.

“Ben”

She said as her face split into one of the happiest smiles the galaxy has ever seen.

He gave her a small vulnerable smile in return, the happiness bright in his eyes. He almost looked like he was in disbelief, that nothing this good could ever happen to him but here he was, sitting with her and she was alive.

She softly caressed his face in her hands like she wanted to memorize every mole, crease and ridge on his face. Burning happy passion blazed in her eyes as she looked at him at pulled his lips against hers.

Ben pulled her against him, and kissed her back like his life depended on it. Like she is everything and its just the two of them in the whole galaxy. Just Rey and Ben.

They pull away with love sick grins across both of their faces. It was the first time Rey had seen Ben truly smile and it took her breath away. In that moment, she vowed to dedicate her life to making Ben Solo smile like that as much as possible. She ran her thumb against the edge of his smile as if she wanted to keep the image not just with sight but with her touch and all her other senses.

Their happy moment was cut short when Ben developed a far away look in his eyes and Rey felt his arms around her start to go slack. He crumpled back with Rey’s hand still curled around his neck.

That’s when Rey felt the bond go cold.

“Ben”

“Ben!” her voice cracking as she called his name.

She doesn’t remember what she did next, only that a few moments later tears streamed down her face as she gripped onto his shirt, unwilling to let go.

“No, no, no it wasn’t supposed to go this way”

“I saw our future and it was’t supposed to go this way” she cried

“We lived near a lake that looked beautiful during sunsets and in a house that was bright and so full of love. We had a daughter and she was the perfect mix of the both of us and we raised her avoiding the mistakes our ancestors made. We trained children on how to control the force and not feel scared of it as we did. It was beautiful Ben. We were so happy Ben, so happy” she said as she clutched on to his limp hand.

“That does sound beautiful”

Rey whipped around at the sound and found the force ghost of Leia Organa caressing her hair and looking at her and the lifeless body of her son with a sad smile.

“Leia?”

“My lovely Rey, I’m so sorry the universe wasn’t kind to you and Ben. It’s never been kind to the Skywalkers.”

“After all this time, tragedy has never failed to strike my family and I’m tired of it. As you know I’ve never been afraid to break the rules” she says with a mischievous smile.

Leia kneels down to put her hand over her son’s heart and with a peaceful smile on her face she softly said “Take care of each other”

Rey can barely make out the shapes of other the figures that crowd around Ben’s body before a burst of bright light is emitted across what was left of the cavern.

At that same moment, on a jungle planet far away, Maz Kanata smiled as she watched Leia’s body disappear. Knowing that she finally was able to become one with the force after assuring that her son was alive and well. That their family wouldn’t end in tragedy.

Back on Exogol, before Rey could tug on her and Ben’s shared bond, a hand grabbed hers. Ben sat up weak, but alive and that is all that matters.

“Rey” he says as his look of disbelief morphed into Rey’s favorite smile.

“Ben” She exclaimed as she threw herself into his arms and they both fell back laughing, knowing that they had the rest of the galaxy and their future to explore.

572 notes · View notes