theirvitriol

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

brad is the only one who ever touches him with so much care       ,     tenderness in strong hands and so unlike the precise coldness ray has seen him exhibit in every moment in theatre and in training     ,     as if all the fire burning away in ray actually managed to melt parts of the front brad puts on for the world      ,     the cold act he envelops himself in when leaving the confines of their four walls and their relationship and sometimes even keeping to it when in the middle of those .    but none of that is found here tonight between them     -    it is warm      ,   smoldering      ,       and comfortable only years of being with each other has made them     ,    the only way how ray could be so sincere and so forward in his advances      ,    in showcasing what he wants .   there is no fear of rebuff or misunderstanding between them either     ,     not anymore or at this point     ,     and they have always spoken the language of tactility and proximity best and better than words      ,     their intimacy better and clearer conveying their love for and choice of one another than any vow ever could    (    although ray loved those too      ,     burned into his memory as they are    )    and he knows just as well that brad sees it the same way .   their first kiss translated all their passion and pent-up desire for one another      ,      their first time wasn’t much different      ,      and every other touch from them on has only translated all the emotions inside of them into a language both of them understood     -     and still do .    ray on his knees in front of brad is not a new sight either      ,     a position he has been in countless and countless of times before      ,     but that does not mean he doesn’t feel a thrill when doing so     ,    that he must be just as hot to the touch as the skin under his mouth is .   they are always burning     ,     for each other they are always burning .   and he bites gently at the skin over brad’s hip bone    ,     no aggressiveness to it as he does so     ,       before looking back up at his husband .   “   it’s what i want .  and if you want the same     ,    we could go down that road    ,”   he answers     ,     a kiss pressed into brad’s skin again    ,    lingering there with his forehead for a moment     ,      before ray gathers himself off the floor to lean upwards and kiss brad again     ,     the grin already taking over his face as he keeps his arms around brad’s torso .   “   i know you do      ,    and i love you for it      ,     and sometimes my gratefulness combines itself just the right way with my guilt for snoring on you .   c’mon    ,    brad     ,     dinner can wait .   we can reheat     ,    you promised me some action .   so    ,    what do you want?”

RAY IS A godsend where he is, on his knees in front of Brad and looking up at him with something burning deep in those dark eyes. The expression on his face is one of unshielded, unabashed love and admiration, shining like beacons in Brad’s direction. It captures his own heart, his own rapidly beating heart and echoes its rhythm. Their blood has flowed in unison from the very first moment two Marines in uniform laid eyes on one another at Pendleton.       If the rest of them could only see their team leader and RTO now, making moon eyes at each other in the kitchen where they eat breakfast together, Ray Person-Colbert on his knees with his mouth circling ever closer to Brad’s groin. Brad doesn’t care what any of them would have to say about it, and the team they served with in Iraq has more than made up for any snide comments they’ve received since their coming out. Walt and Fick were in the wedding party, and Rudy helped with the catering.       But any hardship would have been worth it for this. For Ray kissing him, hot and wet in places his skin stays cold even in the heat of summer, kissing him like he’s not afraid of the frostbite Brad gives just by existing. Ray leans in and presses his forehead to Brad’s belly, his soft and squishy most vulnerable parts, and Brad lets him, encourages him with a hand caressing the back of his neck so gently.       And then Ray’s standing up to look him in the eye, sliding his way up Brad’s body to grab him and pull him and kiss him like he could taste Brad’s soul through his tongue, and Brad’s only recourse is to wrap his arms around Ray and pull him in. They’re locked in a circular embrace, Ray secure in Brad’s arms as Brad kisses back for everything he’s worth.            ‘Sometimes?’ Brad teases. He isn’t even ashamed at the unmasked affection in his voice. He’s wrecked, whipped, done for. He’s got his whole life, the whole world in his arms right now, and he isn’t about to let it go.            ‘I did promise...’ he puts on a show of making the decision, but they both know it was made the moment Ray kissed him.       He reaches down, grabbing at the back of Ray’s thighs and hoisting him into the air, legs around his own waist as he holds Ray tight and turns to walk him toward the bedroom.            ‘I want you.’ 

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

he knows brad is not amused     ,     can feel it in the stoic posture and can see it in the way his brows furrow as he looks ray over    ,    but ray’s low enough to lean into any touch he is given anyway     ,     feeling automatically safer in brad’s hands than anywhere else he could ever be    (    something that has become custom more or less    ) .   the only thing he hopes is that brad believes him enough to let this shit rest for at least the duration of taking him home    ,    because there’s no reason for ray to lie about what the doctors said when he already told brad via text that he discharged himself from the hospital despite prompts of the doctor      -     but     ,     hell      ,     he’s had far worse .   it hurts like shit but he’s definitely had far worse than a rowdy end to his evening out . so    ,    he follows brad to the car with easy steps     ,    knowing full well that they both know brad will demand an explanation and ray will be a bitch about the pain killers all the way home .   no one ever said he’s easy      ,     or more upstanding than he is in such a situation .   but getting into the car is a start     ,     and all he really wants to do is to go home with brad      -      no matter what that entails .    “   you’re such a sweet-talker    ,    bradley     ,    really know how to get to a guy   ,”   he comments as he sits his ass down in the passenger seat and grabs for the ice packs on the backseat to press one against his face before they are even out of the parking lot .   “   i know you’re not  …    delighted by my antics    ,     but i’m fine    ,    brad .   it hurts    ,    yeah    ,    but i’m not breaking apart here .  i am fine .”

THERE WILL BE no interrogation. Brad won’t ask, knowing full well the silence and the ease may compel Ray to speak anyway, to give up his sins of his own accord. Though whether they are sins is another matter entirely, and most of the reason Brad doesn’t want to ask.       He sees the same expression he used to look into in the mirror every morning. Wounded, prideful, angry in ways he can’t explain for things he doesn’t understand. He knows without knowing what actually happened, and being scolded or questioned by the person he’s put his trust and confidence in will do Ray no good. It certainly won’t contribute to ensuring it doesn’t happen again.       He pulls out onto the highway, taking the next few blocks to the nearest pharmacy mostly quietly, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on Ray’s knee. The pharmacy is closed, so Brad continues driving. The same is true of the next, and the one after. The fourth is the lucky one, still lit from within, and Brad slides the car into one of the parking spaces in front of the door. He gets out and takes Ray’s prescription note with him.            ‘ Wait here. I’ll get this. ‘ 

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

the ten minutes go by fast enough      ,       ray checks stuff on his phone and hovers at the side of the entrance to not get in anybody’s way    (    he likes to annoy the shit out of people    ,    but even he can draw the line to let actually important people do their work and tend to actually important patients   )    ,    the only reason he doesn’t smoke because he knows moving the muscles under his left eye would hurt like a damn bitch and he doesn’t wanna test that without icing .   when brad arrives     ,      he does his best at appearing as idle as possible and he only flinches slightly when one hand’s on the damaged side of his face     -     but feeling the other’s broad palm on his good cheek has him even smile a little despite brad’s evident irritation .   “    black eye’s   ,     well     ,   a black eye .   the cut on my eyebrow bled because that always bleed a shit-ton but it wasn’t deep or anything .  i need to ice it until the swelling goes down    .     uh     ,     also to ice my knuckles because they’re busted too . otherwise i am fairly sure i don’t have a concussion   ,   okay?  my head hurts but i’m pretty sure that’s from    ,    you know    ,    being hit in the fucking face .   eyes are okay otherwise   ,   i’m not nauseous   ,    and i know today’s date and my name .  and your name .  i could even text .   so    ,    can we please go home?”   then    ,    as if he nearly forgot it    ,   he fishes a crumbled up paper out of his hoodie pocket .   “   oh     ,    and prescription .   pain meds .   the usual spiel .”

DOES HE TAKE Ray’s word for it, or does he march the both of them back into the hospital to demand answers from someone who’s paid a shit ton of money to tell him the truth?       He puts no pressure on the damaged side of Ray’s face, the gentlest fingers cradling the line of his jaw beyond the border of any redness or swelling. The skin is puffy, shiny, and angry red. It’s lacerated in a few places, but none of the marks are dark enough to betray broken bone. And Ray’s right. He seems sound enough. If Brad keeps an eye on him the rest of the night, they should come out of it fine.       He sighs, letting go Ray’s face and stepping back out of his space, arms folded over his chest. As badly as he might want to take Ray’s hand and offer what comfort he can, it’s too dangerous here. Even at 0100 there are too many people around to see. His cover story is distant cousins. He prays he doesn’t have to use it.            ‘ Yeah. I put some ice packs in the car. I’ll try to find a 24 hour pharmacy on the way home, but you might be shit outta luck until the morning with the pain meds. Oh, and if you don’t think I’m gonna be waking you up every two hours on the dot, then you’re-- I was going to say insane, but you’re already there.            ‘ Come on. ‘       He opens the passenger’s side door for Ray, waiting until he’s in and safely buckled before he climbs behind the wheel himself. 

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[  brad colbert  ]  :   ok , colbert . jfc u and ur orders . [  brad colbert  ]  :  n e wayz i am waiting patiently in front of the ER just so u know where to find me [  brad colbert  ]  :  i’m the hot guy with the black eye u can sport from a mile away

HE MAKES IT in a hair over the promised ten, pulling up to the front door of the ER in his sensible Honda because Ray with a possible concussion didn’t need to be saddled on the back of his bike.       Ray’s where he said he would be, huddled in the cold in front of the door, an angry purple bruise and accompanying red splotches to decorate his face. Brad smothers the pang of sympathy and gets out of the car. If he knows Ray at all, there was probably a reason for his getting decked in the eye.       A few long strides have him standing in front of Ray, hands reaching out to gently cup his face and turn it into the light so Brad can see the marks. They’re gnarly, and they’ll only get more so in the next few days. He sighs, stroking Ray’s undamaged cheek with his thumb.            ‘ You wanna inform me verbatim what your doctor told you, or should I hunt him down and ask him myself? ‘

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[  brad colbert  ]  :  i love ur sense of duty and yet it’s still pissing me off [  brad colbert  ]  :  like i had far worse than this OK far worse [  brad colbert  ]  :  also drive safely pls it’s enough i’m at a hospital

[ SMS: Person [ 0020 11/07 [ Draft:  >>> It’s not a discussion. I’m leaving now.  [ Sent.

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[  brad colbert  ]  :  uh can’t remember . something with martin in it? st. martin or smth? [  brad colbert  ]  :  i am fine brad !! only needed stitches on one side and my hands r only bruised . they thought i have a concussion but i don’t . and the swelling isn’t bad. [  brad colbert  ]  :  i just wanna go home

[ SMS: Person [ 0014 11/07 [ Draft:   >>> Ok I think I got it.  [ Sent. [ SMS: Person [ 0014 11/07 [ Draft:   >>> Baby, it’s not a discussion. I’ll take you home when I hear a doctor tell me it’s safe to take you home. ETA 10 mikes.  [ Sent.

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

@theirvitriol sent    :    ‘    ⚠️     -    a text meant for someone else.   ’    /      texts .      (     not accepting .    )

[  brad colbert  ]  :   i just worry something happened to him . he hasn‘t called or anything in a while and i know that’s common but fuck . just a gut feeling . [  brad colbert  ]  :   that was meant for one of ur sisters. [  brad colbert  ]  :   but if u read this anyway call me so i’ll know u are ok.

[ SMS: Person [ 1342 11/08 [ Draft:      >>> Hey Ray. It’s Stephanie. He’s here with us. He’s ok, and he’ll call you when he can. He’s just not up to it right now. He said if you asked to tell you he loves you, and he’ll go home when he can.  [ Sent.

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[  brad colbert  ]  :  can u come and pick me up from the hospital ??? [  brad colbert  ]  :  asap !!!! [  brad colbert  ]  :  (  nothing bad dw i just got into a fight ) [  brad colbert  ]  :  won and all but uhhhh left my car at the bar and discharged myself so bc they wanted to keep me overnight for a black eye [  brad colbert  ]  :  so yeah can u do that ??? u said i should message u when i’m in trouble or smth

[ SMS: Person  [ 0010 11/07 [ Draft:     >>> Which hospital?  [ Sent. [ SMS: Person [ 0011 11/07 [ Draft:    >>> We’ll talk about it when I get there. If the doctor wants to keep you we’re staying.  [ Sent.

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

the hand in his hair is the added weight he needs     ,      something so familiar and giving that he leans even further up as far as his neck lets him in this position     ,     and he is not surprised at hearing brad’s breath catch in his throat .   he knows what he is doing     ,     he knows what it looks like     ,     and it is exactly what it looks like      -     hey     ,     brad wanted him to be creative in a five minute span and if his short-wired brain could only drum up this and it’d have to make do .   and he likes this      ,      loves this      ,      knowing brad is the only one who gets to see this part of him and have him     ,     who gets to see him without the constant need for action running through his veins and bones that has his muscles constantly work under skin .    brad gets him like this alone      ,      ray completely open and willing before him     ,     and maybe it’s the way he can feel the wedding band press against the back of his head or how he’s still only really seeing brad’s naked skin and the belt and hem of his trousers     ,     but ray can’t help but grin against his husband’s skin    -    open mouthed as well     ,     teeth against the skin below brad’s navel and lightly scraping over the paleness there     (    hidden from the sun more often than not     ,     only for ray to see and taste     ) .    “   person-colbert     ,    of course   ,”   he says    ,     more or less mumbles the words into brad’s skin again as if he could imprint them there     ,     as if he could carve them right beneath every layer and into the bone .   as if they both don’t know already how much it means     -     everything .   it means everything it could possibly ever need to mean      ,     and the thought alone has ray lean back a little to look up at brad from his place on the floor .   “    i fell asleep on you last night     ,     so let me be good for you tonight    ,”   he explains    ,    a small smile on his face    ,    hands on brad’s hips unable to decide if they want to hold onto or should do something else     ,    they want to roam  .   leaning forward again to kiss one of brad’s hipbones    ,    pads of ray’s fingers feeling the muscles right above it tense . “ you brought dinner    ,    it’s the least i can do .”

AS WILD AS they are, as much love that flows from one man to the other like a ceaseless river, Ray manages to catch Brad off guard at every turn. He expected this. He expected the soft purr, the foreplay, the hands on his skin, the everything, and yet he finds himself taken utterly by surprise.       Ray manages to do that to him. Pull off the expected in unexpected ways, surprise Brad even when he knows exactly what the next steps are. Perhaps there’s something in it, some part of Brad’s vast and calculating mind that never could add up the two of them and the path their lives had taken them on. Perhaps he’s still waiting for Ray to wise up and subtract himself from the situation, because the two of them together never did match up to any known or proven sums. They’ve drafted a new equation, and Brad’s surprised every day.       Ray’s on his knees and Brad is gentle with him. The fingers that curl around the back of his head are loving, cradling the shape of his skull like an artist might cradle the arm of a beloved sculpture in the garden, precious and perfect. Brad holds the hem of his shirt with his free hand, keeping it out of Ray’s face as his lips traverse the expanse of Brad’s skin revealed to him, the softest and most vulnerable parts on display and bared for Ray’s teeth.       But those teeth have never drawn blood. They’ve never more than bruised, and even then it was only the bruises Brad asked for.       Ray’s smiling. He can feel it. Those lips make curved shapes on Brad’s belly when they speak, warm and wet on the inside when they kiss the sharp curves of Brad’s hip bones. They’re still too prominent, jutting out from his body the way they only do in the few months following a rotation over there, but Ray doesn’t seem to mind. He never minds when Brad comes home skinny. They know what it’s like. And if he does mind, Brad never hears a word of it.            ‘ If that’s what you want... ‘ It’s the transition. An affirmative, an agreement, a sweetly whispered promise and the dynamic changes. But Brad wants to know. He has to be sure. None of this can be a surprise. He’s bad enough at bossing Ray around when it’s demanded of him. Doing it by choice is a stretch. But what his husband wants, Brad is often helpless to refuse.            ‘ I bring dinner most nights. ‘

[theirvitriol]

out. ya know, sometimes i feel like i am a complete mess. but then i remember. there are people whose brains come up with the stuff in vines and tik toks. like. on purpose. 

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

he reads the messages with a smug grin     ,     knowing full well brad’s not too touchy on the whole adoption subject but also not about to dive into it either whenever it occurs     ,    and ray’s not going to kill the mood for a second time in the row .   fucking hell     ,    no .    so    ,    he puts the phone down and goes for the easiest route to get to the point of their conversation    -     shrugging out of his own day clothes to get into an old pair of low-hanging running shorts and one of brad’s old shirts    ,    forgoing anything else to wear and any bit of shame he could ever feel for really going the path of least resistance    ,    and he’s just about done with his choice of what he’d do    ,    when he hears the door opening and the tell-tale of brad kicking his boots off and then his voice as demanding as ever .   ah    ,     yes     ,    that is what ray needs .   “   just about done with the brainstorming process   ,     colbert !”   he yells back before leaving the room in search for his husband    (     and that is a word he will never be over   ) . 

finding brad in the kitchen with the promised food and their best cat of cats   -    ray would attest to that    -    ray wastes no time in breaching the distance between them and leaning up to kiss the taller man    ,       grinning up at him while he does .   then   ,    he gently takes houdini out of brad’s hands    ,    patting the cat on the head before putting him down at their feet     ,    before he gives brad another look and quickly drops to his knees on the kitchen floor .  it’s a little bit of a stretch    ,    but he gets his hands on brad’s hips and then after tugging his shirt out of his pants   (   fucking dress code regulations   )    ,    his mouth to brad’s lower stomach and his hip bone    ,     nose against the warm skin there    ,    open mouthed kisses right below .   “   i wanna be good for you  ,”   he mumbles into brad’s skin   ,    forehead against his hip now as he leans as far up as he can go .

FOR ALL HIS talk via text message on the way home, he isn’t exactly expecting it to pan out that way when he starts digging in the taco bag for things to pull out and prepare to be eaten, Houdini safely nestled in the crook of his arm. Ray is somewhere out of the room for the span of a few minutes while Brad attempts to get the kitchen situated with one hand, his work gear littered about to be picked up later.       Then he hears the voice and it spreads a smile over his face, turning to look over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom where the voice had originated.            ‘ That’s Person-Colbert to you. ‘      He’ll never tired of it either, disgusting sap in his heart of hearts that he is. He pops a tortilla chip into his mouth and crunches on it, scratching Houdini under the chin until Ray saunters up to him from their bedroom.       He’s dressed down already, one of Brad’s old Corps t shirts hanging from his narrow frame and some worn shorts that brush the tops of his knees. He opens his mouth to say something, but he isn’t given the time. Without a word Ray steps into his space and kisses him, and Brad kisses back even if his eyes widen a bit in surprise.       Houdini leaves Brad’s grip in Ray’s capable hands and descends lightly to the floor, and Brad’s eyes are wholly fixed on his husband’s face, astonished by the eagerness and the lack of introduction. It just happens, Ray going to his knees in front of him, untucking his shirt from his trousers, and leaning in to put his face against Brad’s belly. Ray’s surprising mouth is warm and wet and there, and Brad’s breath catches in his throat.       Ray’s words make it even harder to breathe when he realizes what his husband is asking of him. He lets his hand fall, resting gently on the back of Ray’s head.            ‘ Oh. Is that what we wanna do tonight? ‘ 

[theirvitriol]

me trying to engage with my mutuals

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  honestly . co-signing this big time. houdini is THE BEST. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  oh, definitely appreciate that every day of the year. also bc i like ur face, it’s pretty. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  it was a very long day and i said i regret it !! you can definitely use that lube later , i promise . totally will be worth it . and totally will not fall asleep on u. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  i have to decide in five minutes? to draw up the story-board for tonite? damn.  u know now i wanna surprise u but i also wanna see what u’d be doing. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :   u know i can be creative when it matters.

[ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1710 [ Draft:  >>> My face thanks you. I’m sure my mother would thank you too, but she didn’t actually give me this face, and I don’t know the woman who did.     [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1711 [ Draft:  >>> If you do I’m throwing it out, and you can just deal with it the next time we need it.    [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1711 [ Draft:  >>> In the driveway.   [ Sent WHEN HE COMES inside, shrugging out of his jacket and kicking out of his boots, he calls into the house for the only individual around to hear it, ‘ You got my storyboard ready yet, Ray? ‘       He takes the tacos to the kitchen and sets the bag on the counter, draping his utilities over the kitchen chair. Houdini chirps at him from somewhere near his feet, and Brad stoops to pick him up, cuddling him to his chest while the kitten purrs. 

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  fair point .  the cat’s really one of the best things happening to us . [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  nearly every day is still a good track record . and i always appreciate u on the down low , u know .  nice constant of my life . [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  now u have me disappointed in falling asleep last night AND getting turned on without u there . damn , bradley , u got game. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  totally here for all the possibilities . totally here for climbing u like a damn tree once u make it through the door . or go down on u right in the hallway to take the edge off . or let u choose what we gonna do . [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR . very good of u .

[ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1704 [ Draft:   >>> The cat’s THE best thing happening to us.    [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1705 [ Draft:   >>> I said it was close enough. I know you appreciate my health insurance.   [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1705 [ Draft:   >>> You should be disappointed. I had so many things planned. And when I got home you were snoring and drooling on the pillows. I even got some of that lube you like. Snoring, Ray. Snoring.    [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1706 [ Draft:   >>> Take your pick. Five minutes out.     [ Sent

[theirvitriol]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ TAYLOR SWIFT / LOVER ( PART TWO, TRACKS 10 –– 18 ) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“Saying goodbye is a death by a thousand cuts.”

“I get drunk, but it’s not enough.”

“The morning comes, and you’re not my baby.”

“I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up.’

“I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not.”

“I dress to kill my time, and I take the long way home.”

“I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright.”

“What once was ours is no one’s now.”

“I see you everywhere.”

“The only thing we share is this small town.”

“You said it was a great love, one for the ages.”

“If the story’s over, why am I still writing the pages?”

“I’m trying to find a part of me that you didn’t touch.”

“You gave up on me like I was a bad drug.”

“Why are my fears at the touch of your hands?”

“I gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

“You know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey.”

“I saw the dimples first, then I heard the accent.”

“They say home is where the heart is.”

“They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine is.”

“You know I love a London boy.”

“I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon.”

“He likes my American smile.”

“I fancy you.”

“I guess all the rumors are true.”

“You can find me in the pub.”

“Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“I just wanna be with you.”

“The buttons on my coat were tangled in my hair.”

“I didn’t tell you I was scared.”

“Desperate people find faith.”

“You’ll get better soon.”

“I know delusion when I see it in the mirror.”

“I just pretend it isn’t real.”

“There’s not a day that I won’t try.”

“I hate to make this all about me.”

“Who am I supposed to talk to if there’s no you?”

“This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was.”

“We were crazy to think that this could work.”

“Remember how I said I’d die for you?”

“We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us.”

“Remember how I’d lie to you?”

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“They all warned us about times like this.”

“They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re lead by blind faith.”

“We might just get away with it.”

“Religion’s in your lips.”

“The altar is my hips.”

“Even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love.”

“I know heaven’s a thing.”

“I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me.”

“Hell is when I fight with you.”

“You can’t talk to me when I’m like this, daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you.”

“You are somebody that I don’t know.”

“You’re taking shots at me like it’s Patron.”

“Damn, it’s 7am.”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I ain’t trying to mess with your self-expression.’

“I’ve learned the lesson that stressing and obsessing about somebody else is no fun.”

“You need to calm down.”

“You’re being too loud.”

“You’re coming at my friends like a missile.”

“You need to control yo ur urges to scream about all the people you hate.”

“Shade never made anybody less gay.”

“I blew things out of proportion.”

“I put you in jail for something you didn’t do.”

“I thought I had reason to attack.”

“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.”

“Why’d I have to break what I love so much?”

“I’m the one who burned us down.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“It’s so excruciating to see you low.”

“I just want to life you up and not let you go.”

“The light below tells me this love is worth the fight.”

“I lived like an island, punished you with silence.”

“I don’t want to lose this with you.”

“I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”

“I know that I’m a handful.”

“I know I never think before I jump.”

“You’re the kind of guy the ladies want.”

“There’s a lot of cool chicks out there.”

“I know that I went psycho on the phone.”

“I never leave well enough alone.”

“Trouble’s gonna follow where I go.”

“One of these things is not like the others.”

“I’m the only one of me.”

“I know I tend to make about me.”

“You never get just what you see.”

“I will never bore you.”

“There’s a lot of lame guys out there.”

“I never want to see you walk away.”

“Let me keep you company.”

“It’s nice to have a friend.”

“You’ve been stressed out lately.”

“Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand.”

“You have my back every day.”

“Let’s stay in bed the whole weekend.”

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.”

“Everyone looked worse in the light.”

“There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven.”

“I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye.”

“I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you.”

“I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night.”

“I only see daylight.”

“Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky.”

“I became the butt of the joke.”

“I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked.”

“Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down.”

“Maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town.”

“I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden.”

“I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden, like daylight.”

“I wanna be defined by the things that I love, not the things that I hate.”

“I don’t want to be defined by the things I’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.”

“I just think that you are what you love.”

[theirvitriol]

bestdamnrto‌:

[ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  of course. i always knew one day u’d choose houdini over me. although we both know i’m an equally great cat dad as u. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  yeah , i know u like it . it’s why i appreciate u every day. [ brad person-colbert 😻💛 ]  :  i know. all that nobility in u working out for us. we can do rounds , like first i go down on you and then you on me. or idk , something more creative. also don’t text and drive, baby!

[ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1645 [ Draft:    >>> You’re a great cat dad. But he’s a cat. That counts for a lot in this world.   [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1647 [ Draft:    >>> Not quite every day. But close enough.   [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1648 [ Draft:    >>> Or I can eat you out. I can finger you while you tell me all about that 4.0 you got in that computer class. You can fuck me over the living room sofa. The possibilities here are truly endless, my love.   [ Sent [ SMS: Ray Person-Colbert [ 10/16 1648 [ Draft:   ��>>> Only at red lights.    [ Sent

[theirvitriol]

assuredofthis‌:

        nate is weak.

        he is weak because the only thing he believes in is his men. he doesn’t believe in the missions he fights, nor their overall objective, or even them being here — doing more harm than good, and fucking up themselves as well as this country. he doesn’t believe in command, in the wisdom of those above him, tossing his men’s lives around like they’re worth nothing…and he would include himself in that, too. nate is trying his hardest, but it’s not good enough. that’s a fact. he’s stretching himself to the limit, bending himself so out of shape he doesn’t think he’ll get back to where he started, and it’s not enough. 

        he is weak because he wants. not the things that matter — though sure, an actual bed would be nice, a shower, real food — but because despite everything, he sits beside this man, and all he wants to do is touch. and this is not the place for it, but it burns red-hot beneath his skin, even when he’s focused on something else. it’s filed away, in the later pile, but nate knows it’s there. is he allowed to want something for himself, here? he doesn’t think so.

        he just…feels so old.

        nate’s arm drops beside him; if brad did the same, they would press against one another, a touch easily explained, but a touch all the same. nate exists in a separate world to the men, most of the time…but so does brad. by his own design, perhaps, but he holds himself apart. does he pretend to be cold to protect himself? because nate knows, he knows brad’s not cold at all. he opens his eyes and turns his head to look at brad, smiling ruefully. 

        ❝ perhaps, but it would make me a hypocrite. i’m not sleeping either. i can trust that you’ve been doing this long enough to know what you can handle. ❞ implied: i can trust you. softer, like he doesn’t even mean to say it:  ❝ i’m giving enough orders contrary to what i actually want. ❞

THE MOON FALLING on the horizon is distant and cold. It’s a strange sensation after so long sweating in the desert. And it’s the moon, not the desert emitting the chill. He still feels sweat dripping down his spine, but the white of moon feels too much like frost for him to know it.       In the next moment an explosion in the city sends up a puff of black smoke, blanketing the moon, it’s cold, cold beauty. Brad blinks, looking away, down into the dirt, at Nate’s boots, up at Nate. He sees the white light of the moon reflected there in the deep green of Nate’s eyes. They’re bleached like sea glass on the beach with the sunlight glinting off, but he memorized their shade weeks ago. He’d recognize it anywhere, reflecting any form of light.       Tonight they too are cold. Nate’s beautiful eyes are as dark as the night that hung the moon and as distant as the moon itself. Brad aches to reach out, to touch and to feel. He wants as surely as Nate does, an undercurrent flowing through him as sure and steady as the heat of the desert. It is just as suffocating, to watch him work every day, to grant him the same careful deference as any other officer--      No. Not the same. He bows to lesser men because decorum and protocol dictate. But he has never bowed to Nate as a lesser man. To Nate he gives way because his honor demands. And because Nate has earned it.       Nate’s arm drops into the space between them, and Brad telegraphs the move a mile away. He drops his too, the lines of the two limbs pressing against one another through MOPP suits and gear. It’s a far cry from the way he’s dreamed of tracing the line of Nate’s arm, but it’s enough. For now.       Brad knows what he feels like, the heft and strength of his muscles and the give of his flesh. He turns his head when his lieutenant does, answering the small smile with one of his own.             ‘ It would make you an officer and someone entirely capable of commanding me to go to sleep. But fine, have it your way, sir. We won’t tell each other to sleep, and we’ll just sit here, staring off into the distance. Like any LT and his TL might... ‘ He tips his head back a moment, breathing in gunsmoke and ash and fine sand. He reads the meaning in what Nate doesn’t say, and the smile widens.             ‘ Command me to stay, then. ‘