thedoctorishereguys

[thedoctorishereguys]

When they are standing at the Boundary, they see Gallifrey, and suddenly the Master bursts through the Boundary to where they are. Doctor: *under her breath* fuck

if you could insert one swear word into the thirteenth doctor's era for maximum effect, where would you put it? (either adding it in, or swapping an existing word for it)

i'm torn between

"does that make sense to you, yaz? not fucking really doctor, no" (the halloween apocalypse)

and

"i think you're one of the greatest people i've ever known... including my wife!!" "your fucking w h a t" (lotsd)

[thedoctorishereguys]

This is why generic meds are AB rated and generic insulin is NOT. They are coded totally differently by the FDA and have separate pharmacological book guidelines (FDA Orange Book vs FDA Purple Book). This is why if a script is written for Humalog we cannot dispense Insulin Lispro without first talking to your doctor. Please for the love of God do not just switch your insulin. Please DO talk to your pharmacist (if you aren't getting anywhere talking to your pharmacist, it might be because you are at a high volume site. Generally, smaller less busy sites have more time and ability to help patients who need more than a medication dispensed.)

Please know your financial assistance options including copay cards and manufacturer assistance programs. There are ways to lower your medication costs that do not risk your health.

Also, as a tangent, do not take someone else's insulin. Or meds.

[thedoctorishereguys]

reblog if you're on the asexuality spectrum and you like doctor who so I can find my people

[thedoctorishereguys]

Me, in tears, halfway through writing a 300 word essay: I can’t do this anymore

Person on A03 who’s writing for fun:

[thedoctorishereguys]

Ironic how the man who came up with "you're better at dying" phrase is being laughed at these days

THAT WAS BACK BEFORE HE WAS GOING TO GREAT LENGTHS TO TURN HUMANS INTO PIG HENCHMEN AS IF THE NYPD WAS NOT ALREADY THERE.

[thedoctorishereguys]

Reblog if you’re 30 or older

This is an experiment to see if there really are as few of us as people think.You can also use this to freak out your followers who think you’re 25 or something. Yay!

[thedoctorishereguys]

Shout out to all the people who are still social distancing and wearing masks. Thank you for still taking this pandemic seriously and understanding how an illness can spread from person to person. I pray that the universe provides you with an infinite amount of abundance. 

[thedoctorishereguys]

Humans Are Weird: Cartoons!

How crazy would aliens find our distinctions in entertainment? Shows which to them seem very similar at first we explain are very different, one is for kids, the other adults, but then we don’t follow those at all!

The four-legged many-armed Betelgeusen most called Carl was very excited. For the first time, he had succeeded in finding Terran entertainment, and rushed to tell Human Amy of it (Human Amy was no longer the only human on the ship, as five others had eventually joined. No more cats, though).

Human Amy came to see and said dismissively, “oh, it’s just a children’s cartoon. Pity, I was hoping you managed to pick up Doctor Who”.

“What is a children’s cartoon?” asked Carl.

“Oh, well, a cartoon is this style of visual presentation,” she explained. “It’s drawn, and not hyper-realistically, more a caricature than anything. Cartoons usually have bright colors as well, and not as many as we can actually see in life. A lot of details end up simplified instead of humans drawing all of them. Cartoons are usually for children. Adults don’t really watch those.”

Several days later, Carl found another of the humans, Human Jake, watching a cartoon. “Are you not an adult, Human Jake?” Carl asked.

“Eh, last I checked I probably am. Why?”

“Because this is a cartoon and I was told those are for children.”

“Oh, not this one. South Park isn’t for kids at all! The jokes are too mature for most kids to get, and the things they do -- well, an adult would know it’s a parody or a story-telling device, but kids might think that this is how they should behave.”

“But why is it in the “cartoon” style, then?”

“Well, because the medium of cartoon tells the story differently than if they filmed it. Also, a lot of the things the characters go through in South Park, you’d need a lot of CGI or a LOT of legal waivers to make it look like actors are going through it. Just cheaper to draw it, really.

Of course, Carl thought to himself. Humans never have firm rules for anything. All of their ideas are versatile.

Carl soon learned, with help from the six humans, how to tell the difference between children’s cartoons and adult’s cartoons. He hit a slight stumbling block when one of the cartoons they had designated as “for children” made a clearly sexual joke. When he asked, one of the humans laughed and said, “Well, sure. The parents of the kids are probably forced to watch, too, or at least it’s on all the time. The jokes are snuck in there to keep them sane, but the kids totally don’t get it.”

Some days later, Carl found Human Sarah watching a cartoon. He peered intently at it. Four humans and an improbably large dog were running away from an utterly unconvincing ghost. After a minute or so, Carl determined that this cartoon was likely for children, and he wondered why Human Sarah was so entranced.

“Human Sarah, why are you watching a children’s cartoon?” he asked. The humans were all used to, by now, the alien crew members asking these questions.

“Man, this shit is so fucking funny when you’re baked,” she laughed. “That… that monster is hys-his-hyt… you know what, it’s funny.”

“Baked?” Carl asked. “Have you been placed in the oven??” he continued, his voice rising in shrill disbelief.

Sarah laughed harder. “No, baked, man. Toasted. 420 blaze it!”

Carl felt the conversation escaping from him ever faster. “Human Sarah, are you harmed?”

“High!” she squealed before laughing. “Weeeeeeed.”

Carl pondered this for a minute before remembering that humans called the plant ‘marijuana’ weed as well. He had learned some of marijuana’s contentious history and its eventual legalization -- making Sarah’s activity perfectly harmless and legal, as she was off-duty. Now that he understood it was marijuana, he could even spot some of the symptoms -- the glazed look, the laughing, the food supply around her. Not the smell, but only because Betelgeusens had no sense of smell.

Carl made another note in his human guide. Children’s cartoons could be funny to humans if they were chemically altered.

Several weeks later, Human Amy was in the recreation area, watching another brightly colored cartoon. Carl determined it was another children’s cartoon (humor appropriate to children, moral lessons, friendly characters, even if they were all different terrifying Terran creatures, not one human) and studied Amy carefully. No laughter, not a large supply of easy-to-snack on food, and no glazed eyes. She must not be high, but he also knew humans were masters of deception.

“Human Amy, are you high on marijuana?” he asked.

“What? No, of course not, I don’t smoke.”

“But that is a children’s cartoon. I have learned children’s cartoons are watched by adults when they are high.”

“I mean, some of them are funnier if you’re high -- like Scooby Doo or Tom and Jerry -- but that’s not why I’m watching this.”

“Why are you?”

“I’m homesick.”

“Home sick?” he asked. “You are sick from the home?”

“No, I miss my home a lot,” she explained. “I miss my parents and my siblings and my niblings and my friends back on Earth. This is Arthur. Me and my siblings used to watch this together all the time, and watching it again makes me feel like I could be little again and fall asleep on the couch after watching TV and Mom would carry me to my room and I could wake up on a Saturday again to pancakes and Arthur. It’s nostalgic.”

Carl then learned what nostalgia was.

He made another addition to his human guide: Children’s cartoons are also an escape tool for adults, to mentally return to another time. Humans’ abilities never failed to surprise him.

He finally gave up when Disney movies came into play. There was zero logic or reason to the entire human section of the crew singing “To be a man, you must be swift as the coursing river…” off-key and often off-rhythm.

Under his cartoon explanation he finally ended with: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

[thedoctorishereguys]

Our GPS is Judy. All our GPSes, prior to us switching to using our phones, were Judy. When we had multiple ones (for multiple cars), they were Judy 1 and Judy 2.

Humans are Space Australians

I’ve literally never made a post about this, but I can’t get this idea out of my head and I haven’t seen this anywhere yet.

So in a lot of space/scifi stories, the ship the story is taking place on has a computer that responds to questions and commands with an appropriate verbal response. We can ALL agree humans will packbond with anything that shows any sort of vague semblance of life

How many humans would packbond with the damn computer??

Like say instead of a human joining an alien crew, an alien joins a human crew and the humans have one of the most advanced ship computers in the galaxy. So their computers can give life support stats, damage reports, locations of crew members, and so much more (much like the Star Trek computer).

And this alien(s) is so fancinated because their computers are advanced but not to this level. And the humans on the ship say please and thank you to this inanimate, faceless computer embedded into their ship. The alien(s) think it’s weird but won’t say anything to the humans because they were briefed on the human tendency to packbond with anything.

And then they find out some of the crew members have named the computer as if the human-female computer voice is an actual person. And the alien(s) would be so confused when one day human Casey says, “Janice, please locate insign Garrett for me.” Because, who is Janice?

Anyway I’m not really sure where I was going with this, just popped into my head after watching too much Star Trek and remembering that my parents call their GPS Gladys.

If you want to write this out/add to it, please do! I’d love to see this as a full story!

Edit: I’m loving what y'all are adding on, but I just want to point out that in this, I’m not referencing AIs like Sofia the Robot, Data from Star Trek, or any other humanoid robot you can think of that are designed to exhibit personalities and think for themselves. I’m talking about computer systems like Siri, Cortana, or the computer from Star trek where they don’t have a solid personality they are simply there to provide information. However! Please do not stop adding on! I love seeing what you guys think :)

[thedoctorishereguys]

Please show me the woman who wants to abort for any of these reasons. This is not what the abortion debate has ever been about.

Also, I do support her aborting in those cases because I don't support people having children they can't love and give a good life to. Ideally, people who can't love a child they have for reasons like that shouldn't be reproducing at all, but I also disagree with forced sterilization and I doubt I'm going to be able to convince any misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, or racists that they shouldn't reproduce.

Question for pro-choicers

Others have raised this question before in part, but I would like to ask it again more clearly, if only for my own sake.  And I am genuinely curious to know your reactions.  This isn’t a troll, the question is sincere.  

Assuming you believe in the rights of a mother to kill her unborn baby for all the reasons you say you do, how do you feel about the notion of a mother choosing to abort because (assuming a greater degree of medical knowledge than is currently available): * They discover that the baby shows genetic markers indicating it will likely become transgender.  Such individuals have suicide rates 30X the general population.  There’s a lot of hardship there, after all.

* The same, except, there are markers indicating it will be gay.  The mother dissaproves of homosexuality and doesn’t want to have such a child in her home.

* The child is a girl, and they already have two girls, so they REALLY want a boy this time around…

* There are some 14 or so genes associated with skin color.  Due to a genetic lottery, they learn their unborn child will be very black. Considering the perceived hardships such individuals may face due to racism, they decide to abort and try again for a lighter-skinned child.

I’m curious to know if pro-choicers are at least consistent in their stance, or whether you hesitate/feel differently when the outcome intersects with other issues such individuals tend to uphold.  Are you okay with killing transgender, homosexual or minority children, *because of/due to those same characteristics* so long as they haven’t left the womb yet?

[thedoctorishereguys]

So I reblogged this at least a year ago. Recently, I read several articles saying the suicide rate among millennials has spiked dramatically.

It was a trend people could see coming and I'm deeply upset the articles were saying shit about how no one could have anticipated this.

Capitalism is the answer

[thedoctorishereguys]

Humans Are Weird (failed pack bonding edition)

So I've binge read hundreds of humans are weird, humans are space orcs, and Earth is space Australia posts, and so many have aliens suggesting a pet for the human to pack-bond with. But. What if the human were allergic?

TW: an animal gets injured in this, but survives and is fine.

The crew of the dully named Exploration Vessel 08121995 were equal parts excited and nervous when they heard a human would be joining them. Neither feeling has to be explained; humans' reputation precedes them.

To prepare, the crew purchased and read the definitive guide: How To Live and Work With One or More Humans.

They paid special attention to the section on "sleep", "eating habits", "attitudes towards danger", "social norms (with the attached warning that no two groups agreed on what these are)", and "pack-bonding". From that last section, they learned it is commonly advised to have a small, domesticated "cute" animal on board for the human to bond with.

Reading further, they learned that the popular options were cats and dogs. Reading even further, they decided a cat, which typically displayed more independence and less reliance on the human, was a better choice for an exploratory vehicle.

Human Amelia ("call me Amy, really") joined the crew with no small fanfare. She was introduced to her crewmates and shown around the ship, assigned duties, and discussed possible research. After some hours, they showed her to her assigned rooms for the nightly human "sleep ritual".

She entered with a cheery "see you in the morning".

The noises they heard after were confusing. They had placed the cat in the rooms as a surprise, and, having never met a human (or a cat) before, were not sure what to expect. However, the violent "achoo" sounds interspersed with "get AWAY from me!" did not seem like pack-bonding in progress.

Finally, Human Amy emerged from her rooms, holding the cat in one hand and pressing a piece of cloth over her nose and mouth with the other. The crew was alarmed to see her eyes were leaking, and those "achoo" sounds continued. Even more alarmingly, she was knocked back a bit by every one. In between these achoos, she said, "can someone take this?"

One of the crew, a many-armed four-legged alien from near Betelgeuse that most called Carl (his actual name unpronounceable to any species lacking four separate voice boxes), said, "but Amy, we learned humans keep small mammals as 'pets' to bond with".

Amy held the cat out a bit more insistently, and finally Carl took it. She explained, "yeah, many do, but some of us can't because we're allergic." Seeing the looks of confusion, she explained further what an allergy was.

The aliens were astounded. Humans kept these small mammals even though some of them couldn't be around them? Human bodies could so violently reject substances it made them sick? But that rejection was the system that made them so fucking hardy overworking itself?

The science officer and xir underlings made a note to study their new human further, with her permission.

Much discussion occurred regarding what to do with the cat. None of the aliens had bonded to it, and many were in favor of chucking it out of the trash chute. Amy protested that the cat didn't do anything to deserve that, but admitted that as she couldn't even help to care for it, her opinion probably shouldn't count. Still, she seemed bothered and upset by the suggestion to just kill the cat.

In the end, the cat stayed, mainly because not one member of the crew was willing to upset the human by killing the fuzzy nuisance. They agreed next time they stopped at a station to pass the cat along to someone else.

Several months in, most of the crew had forgotten there was a cat around and remembered only when it was their turn to care for it in some way. The science crew had ended up seeing it the most, as they were (non-invasively) studying it to learn more of terrestrian biology.

The accident happened in the science lab. Another experiment, one that had nothing to do with the cat, exploded suddenly, causing glass shards and bits of metal to go flying, setting off a chain reaction. The aliens evacuated quickly but forgot about the cat. When it was safe to enter, they found it alive but making a pitiful noise - and no wonder, one of the metal pieces flying had entered its eye.

Human Amy helped one of the medics remove the piece - and the eye. They fashioned it a little eyepatch and the cat seemed as well as ever.

Some of the crew despaired, though. Now that it was injured, no one else would want the cat, and while they didn't want to keep it past the next station, they also still didn't want to risk upsetting their human. One of the science crew, an alien who looked remarkably like a blob of jello come to life (her name was Zar-a-i-helot, most called her Zar) suggested that a museum, university, or zoo may be interested in the cat. While not in great condition, in this part of the galaxy, so far from Earth, academics would jump to study Terran biology.

They reached their next station an Earth month later, cat in two of Carl's arms (while Carl had not bonded with the cat, the cat had with him). A human walking down the street stopped and went, "awww, he's adorable. Or is it a she?"

Carl confessed ignorance to the cat's gender, and name, when asked next. He explained their human was allergic, and none of the rest of the crew had thought to name him.

"so what are you doing with him now?" the human asked.

"Donating him to a scientific group, we hope."

"I mean, if you don't want him, we'll take him. We don't have a pet right now and this little guy would be perfect".

He took the cat gently from Carl and said, "I think I'll call you Redbeard". The cat was indeed red, but had no "beard" (a term Carl had learned referred to hair on the lower part of the face). "Like a pirate, you know, cause of the missing eye".

Carl returned to his crew and professed amazement at the human pack-bonding instinct - they even bonded to imperfect beings eagerly.

The guidebooks were duly updated, especially after Amy explained, "well, I mean, an injured animal makes us even more protective."

[thedoctorishereguys]

Here’s what I don’t get about the episode “Silence in the Library”. The Doctor expands the search for life forms to include all life and then they go very quiet when it’s at 1,000,000,000+.

And every time I’ve watched it, my first thought is, “Well wouldn’t there be bacteria? On a library this size with countless people going through? Like there’d definitely be that much bacteria around. Why is this number so scary???”

And I get its counting all the Vashta Nerada but is the system just not even counting bacteria as alive (which it is)?? Why wouldn’t the Doctor’s first thought be, “Oh, okay, its counting all the bacteria living on all the surfaces and books touched here”

[thedoctorishereguys]

The diet plan from Doctor Who “Partners In Crime” is actually a really GOOD idea if it didn’t lead to lots of death. I mean, I’d be more than happy to have my fat turned into adorable aliens that want nothing to do with me and go off to be on their own world. I get thin, they get life, I don’t have to raise them... This is a fantastic idea in every way except for the part where of course it went bad. But that was the fault of the person who ran Adipose Industries and not a flaw in the thinking itself because *seriously*, you could create millions of little Adipose just from people taking the pills until they hit their ideal weight and then stopping. Hell, with the right marketing, it would be a wonderful first encounter, an excellent partnership with the Adipose, would allow people to eat things they avoid because of the weight gain, and if you’re very business minded, you could even market stuffed Adipose toys, plushes, posters, action figures/dolls, whatever. (I mean, I currently have an Adipose plush that can giggle, so this is not a stretch, they are seriously cute). And I mean, I haven’t done any research into it, but how many people are actually gonna go, “oh I can be thin but it means my fat is turning into an alien that wants nothing to do with Earth? naaaaaah, I’m good”.

[thedoctorishereguys]

Imagine if at some point, the universe, or select parts of it, forgot about the Time Lords. Not even legends in this part.

One day an archeological group finds something, a remnant, but of course whatever language it's written in is mainly lost to them. An archeologist does his best to translate the words but of course translation is never easy.

He settles on "Clock Barons" as the name of the mentioned mystical race.

The Doctor visits this forgetful and forgotten corner one day and their reaction to being called a Clock Baron really rather depends on which incarnation. Twelve would get offended. Eleven would consider if he should call himself that. I think Thirteen would be delighted by it. A Clock Baron!

Or the archeologist tells them of the mystical Clock Barons that had been there before, as the Doctor introduces themself as a Time Lord.

[thedoctorishereguys]

Oh my god I just realized why Sherlock keeps forgetting Lestrade’s name. It’s a joke about how ACD never specified it, only giving him the first initial G.

I feel so stupid.

[thedoctorishereguys]

If Time Lords regenerate, and it is known the regeneration energy is fairly destructive (see: all of the regenerations of New Who), and if TARDISes are Time Lord engineering, why are TARDISes so so so susceptible to being damaged by this energy? Especially since as far as I can tell, it’s a good place to regenerate since nothing can enter a TARDIS uninvited more or less. So why does the Doctor’s TARDIS have dramatic explosions and malfunction literally every regeneration???

(Yes I know this is probably so that they can redo the TARDIS for each Doctor but it’s so illogical!)