thedemisapphic

[thedemisapphic]

One line from Raph in the draft right now:

“I don’t want my voice to be in your nightmares.”

I love that line, especially because I think we all know Leo just freezes up when he hears it like “oh shit um- too late. We won’t tell him that though, he doesn’t need to know. … he probably already knows.”

[thedemisapphic]

The things I want to talk about mainly (for the hurt part) are as follows.

Leo feels AWFUL for invading Raph’s privacy. He isn’t even asking for forgiveness, he just guiltily shares what he did and tells Raph he understands if he doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Ready to accept the consequences of his actions, truly just ready for Raph to not want to associate with him anymore. He knows he would struggle forgiving someone for something like that, and he’s already messed up so much. He doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. He betrayed Raph to the highest degree. This is the last straw. Surely this is it for them. Right?

Raph feels awful for dropping so much blame on Leo while Krang was in his head. He blamed Leo for EVERYTHING and overall was just terrible to him. And believe me, when he discovers that Leo entered the memory where he and Splinter fought, he’s going to feel worse. Because he said some not-nice things about Leo then, too, and it’s just more on the pile. He feels like a monster. And if Leo needs time to process that now that he’s awake then that’s okay, but he’s hoping that his apologies will help Leo to see that it was all bogus and Raph didn’t actually MEAN any of it. And that clarity, he hopes, will help Leo recover from what was said about/to him. Help ground him in the truth of the matter, and not all the lies and self hate Leo no doubt has going on in his head because of him.

Believe me, it doesn’t help Raph’s guilt knowing Leo almost lost his arm and was in a coma for a little over a week because Leo was saving RAPH. The events that caused it happened inside Raph’s head, too, and that… I’m gonna be honest probably feels awful to think about knowing your brother almost died for you in your noggin. Your brain is where it happened. That- yeah he’s going to have a breakdown finally verbalizing that one.

And basically, the two have to reassure each other that it was out of their control. Does that fix the problem? Um… no, likely not. But they need to communicate so they can stop carrying it alone. And Leo personally just needs Raph to know what he knows so he can know once and for all how it will impact their bond.

And naturally at the end I want to include a Donnie just enraged because Leo has been awake for hours and he didn’t know about it. Like Raph and Leo finish talking, cut to the next paragraph:

“WHY DIDN’T ANYONE THINK TO TELL ME NARDO WAS AWAKE- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-“

With Leo and Raph both begging for mercy like “oh pizza supreme we just forgOT CALM DOWN WE FORGOT-“

I wanna have the next chapter done by Christmas- like I NEED it written out so I, myself, can reread it like “damn girl you’re brain be braining this is a good chapter!”

But my brain isn’t braining the chapter.

I WANT TO CONSUME THE HURT COMFORT BUT TO CONSUME IT I FIRST NEED TO CREATE IT

BOUTA SQUISH MY BRAIN LIKE I SQUISH THE LITTLE BUBBLE THING ON MY LEAF BLOWER TO GET THE GAS MOVING. GONNA SQUISH IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL I CAN START THE ENGINE AND TAKE OFF

I was doing good writing the chapter last month! THEN I GOT SICK AND STOPPED WRITING. AND IT’S- I-

PLEASE I JUST WANT MAGNET DUO HURT COMFORT IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK 😭

[thedemisapphic]

Like, what I have now is basically just Raph hearing Leo not be unresponsive to his environment and “:0!!”

But when I was writing it, it felt pretty rushed, so my PLAN is to go to the beginning and kind of slowly get into the chapter. Rather than picking up immediately after Mikey’s second to last diary entry, I might start a little before the three of them split up for the night. Then try to summarize how Raph’s been doing, how he’s feeling, just a few paragraphs to really get into his head and explain (in more detail) Leo’s situation. Because I did research for it AFTER writing the last chapter, and I’m chalking up it not making it into the last one by just “Mikey wouldn’t pay attention to that. Either he would purposely avoid thinking about it, or he just truly wouldn’t know about it. Or he doesn’t think it’s important to include in his entries.”

Raph is paying more attention, I get to be a narrator, so we get a clearer picture of Leo!!!

And when Leo wakes up is when I confuse myself because I had Raph being emotional, but had him transition into “okay I’ll answer your questions now” too fast. I feel like he’s just going to break down in relief and not want to talk about ANYTHING else. Maybe badly trying to lie about how long Leo was asleep for. But he hears Leo start apologizing and his ass isn’t listening- he doesn’t care what Leo THINKS he did, he just is glad to have him back. Probably says as much, while apologizing, himself, for being a total ass while Krang was in his head (Leo also does not care about that).

But like… I need to transition from that to Leo finding out all of what happened, and the angst.

I think I have an idea of how I want it to go?? But my brain won’t KERCHUNK over to the “how” step. Tomorrow I’ll work on it. I’m feeling better sick-wise and I want to get it done for y’all!!! And me 👉👈 like I want to read it 👀 after this chapter is fluff!!! This is the LAST bit of angst which means it’s going to hurt a lot, but will also have a LOT of comfort to go with it. Love that shit. Then, for the last chapter, I get to introduce Skeet into the story. I love him so much.

I wanna have the next chapter done by Christmas- like I NEED it written out so I, myself, can reread it like “damn girl you’re brain be braining this is a good chapter!”

But my brain isn’t braining the chapter.

I WANT TO CONSUME THE HURT COMFORT BUT TO CONSUME IT I FIRST NEED TO CREATE IT

BOUTA SQUISH MY BRAIN LIKE I SQUISH THE LITTLE BUBBLE THING ON MY LEAF BLOWER TO GET THE GAS MOVING. GONNA SQUISH IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL I CAN START THE ENGINE AND TAKE OFF

I was doing good writing the chapter last month! THEN I GOT SICK AND STOPPED WRITING. AND IT’S- I-

PLEASE I JUST WANT MAGNET DUO HURT COMFORT IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK 😭

[thedemisapphic]

I wanna have the next chapter done by Christmas- like I NEED it written out so I, myself, can reread it like “damn girl you’re brain be braining this is a good chapter!”

But my brain isn’t braining the chapter.

I WANT TO CONSUME THE HURT COMFORT BUT TO CONSUME IT I FIRST NEED TO CREATE IT

BOUTA SQUISH MY BRAIN LIKE I SQUISH THE LITTLE BUBBLE THING ON MY LEAF BLOWER TO GET THE GAS MOVING. GONNA SQUISH IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL I CAN START THE ENGINE AND TAKE OFF

I was doing good writing the chapter last month! THEN I GOT SICK AND STOPPED WRITING. AND IT’S- I-

PLEASE I JUST WANT MAGNET DUO HURT COMFORT IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK 😭

[thedemisapphic]

New Redbubble Design!

I was thinking of the Distractible episode where they just talk about shit the whole time, and I thought of this!! I’m sick rn, so this was created with sick brain. But I think it’s amazing lol. Go check it out!!

Since taking the ROTTMNT art off my Redbubble, i’ve tried to add more. There will be more in the future. You can get this design with and without the speech bubble.

Here’s a link to the Distractible episode that inspired this if you’d like to listen: Oh Sh*t Moments

I added the audio of what exactly Lycasin is in the time-lapse though for anyone confused. Truly just a laxative in the form of sugar :3

[thedemisapphic]

I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND GOT SO SAD WHEN IT AUTOMATICALLY REFRESHED BEFORE I COULD GET A GOOD LOOK AT IT

IT HAS FOUND ITS WAY BACK TO ME!!! 😭😭😭💕

Guess who's been watching DanDaDan? Loved how colorful and fun the opening was so it gets the turtle treatment.

[thedemisapphic]

What are some funny ways to wake up from a coma

Today I’m going to try to sit down and work on the next chapter. I’ve taken a small legitimate break from ROTTMNT. Not like last time where I was feeling bad for holding up content- this time I actually just. Let myself be. And most of that is because I can feel the hyperfixation moving on. Before I started writing the next chapter, I read an old draft of an original story I wrote a few years back. And when I finished, left on a cliffhanger, I was invested. It hasn’t left my brain since. I want to develop it, write it, pursue it. And I also want to invest more time into my own life! Which means I need to wrap up my loose ends with all my ROTTMNT projects.

I don’t want to say I’m leaving the fandom because I’m not, but I’m just not going to be popping out ROTTMNT content anymore once this fanfic is done. I might come back and finish the two fanfics I never got to write but I don’t want to chain myself to my keyboard to do it. Y’all I have gay romances I want to write about, and I want to share them with you too!!! Well, some of it.

I make this post to ask for a little nudge. I’m going to reread some of the fanfic, but is there anything you want Raph and Leo to talk about? Anything you’re curious about? Any questions you have about the two of them? Ask them here, and I’ll try to pick through them to help fuel this chapter!

This is not to say I’ll have it done soon, just that I haven’t forgotten about it. And a little heads up that once this fanfic is done, I’m gonna be focusing on myself for a bit!! I’ll likely make a post about the story I’m working on, try my best to get you guys involved so that when it comes time to publish my first book, maybe I’ll have some support behind me :) I mean when I reread my draft my soul was just sparkling remembering how much potential it had. And I’ve since developed it A LOT (instead of working on ROTTMNT stuff) because I’ve just been SO excited about it. Like just today I got an idea that had me giddy at work I had to write it down IMMEDIATELY. The story in my head is doing that thing where I want to kick my feet and AH I want to clear everything off my to do list so I can start developing this world more and outline everything 😭 I would truly love for y’all to be as into my story as I am, but I have to cherry pick what I give y’all so I don’t spoil the whole thing before I finish lol. I do get if you don’t want to stay for that though. You’re here for your fandom content!! I’m not blind to that, but I will still use this account for OC still when I’m done.

This is long, I just wanted to explain where I’ve been. I’m doing pretty good focusing on myself right now, so I’m not really sorry about blipping out of the social eye. I’m on a diet now, actively looking for a part time job, I feel like I’m adulting so good right now :)

I’ll finish the next chapter when I can, so let me know anything you’re curious about! I’ll keep it in mind and see if I can integrate it in 👍 after this chapter will be another journal entry, then the final chapter. I’m very close to being done 💨✍️ 🏁

[thedemisapphic]

Today I’m going to try to sit down and work on the next chapter. I’ve taken a small legitimate break from ROTTMNT. Not like last time where I was feeling bad for holding up content- this time I actually just. Let myself be. And most of that is because I can feel the hyperfixation moving on. Before I started writing the next chapter, I read an old draft of an original story I wrote a few years back. And when I finished, left on a cliffhanger, I was invested. It hasn’t left my brain since. I want to develop it, write it, pursue it. And I also want to invest more time into my own life! Which means I need to wrap up my loose ends with all my ROTTMNT projects.

I don’t want to say I’m leaving the fandom because I’m not, but I’m just not going to be popping out ROTTMNT content anymore once this fanfic is done. I might come back and finish the two fanfics I never got to write but I don’t want to chain myself to my keyboard to do it. Y’all I have gay romances I want to write about, and I want to share them with you too!!! Well, some of it.

I make this post to ask for a little nudge. I’m going to reread some of the fanfic, but is there anything you want Raph and Leo to talk about? Anything you’re curious about? Any questions you have about the two of them? Ask them here, and I’ll try to pick through them to help fuel this chapter!

This is not to say I’ll have it done soon, just that I haven’t forgotten about it. And a little heads up that once this fanfic is done, I’m gonna be focusing on myself for a bit!! I’ll likely make a post about the story I’m working on, try my best to get you guys involved so that when it comes time to publish my first book, maybe I’ll have some support behind me :) I mean when I reread my draft my soul was just sparkling remembering how much potential it had. And I’ve since developed it A LOT (instead of working on ROTTMNT stuff) because I’ve just been SO excited about it. Like just today I got an idea that had me giddy at work I had to write it down IMMEDIATELY. The story in my head is doing that thing where I want to kick my feet and AH I want to clear everything off my to do list so I can start developing this world more and outline everything 😭 I would truly love for y’all to be as into my story as I am, but I have to cherry pick what I give y’all so I don’t spoil the whole thing before I finish lol. I do get if you don’t want to stay for that though. You’re here for your fandom content!! I’m not blind to that, but I will still use this account for OC still when I’m done.

This is long, I just wanted to explain where I’ve been. I’m doing pretty good focusing on myself right now, so I’m not really sorry about blipping out of the social eye. I’m on a diet now, actively looking for a part time job, I feel like I’m adulting so good right now :)

I’ll finish the next chapter when I can, so let me know anything you’re curious about! I’ll keep it in mind and see if I can integrate it in 👍 after this chapter will be another journal entry, then the final chapter. I’m very close to being done 💨✍️ 🏁

[thedemisapphic]

*asexual laughter*

[thedemisapphic]

YES THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!!!!

So I think I just found proof that Leo is the second youngest in the show

So we all know that Mikey is the youngest, right? His plastron’s flat to reflect that but now look at Leo’s and then look at Donnie and Raph’s their Plastron is starting to change shape which reflects them being older

[thedemisapphic]

(copied from @dxckiii on Twitter) this could literally change everything.

They have begun a recount process. WAKE UP YOUR NEVADA FRIENDS AND MAKE SURE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM CHECK iwillvote.com to make sure their ballot was counted. if it says it was denied, they need to call immediately.

Don't scroll past this. If there's any chance someone from Nevada is following you, they need to see it. Get this as far as possible. Be loud. I know it's easy to feel hopeless right now; god knows I was crying my eyes out for a good chunk of last night, but if there's even a shred of action we can take, we can't let it slip by.

If you know anyone in Nevada, please share this with them. Reblog it. Spread it far and wide, ASAP.

[thedemisapphic]

I haven’t really seen any of the more recent U.S. election news hitting tumblr yet so here’s some updates (now edited with sources added):

There’s evidence of Trump cheating and interfering with the election.

Possible Russian interference.

Mail-in ballots are not being counted or “recognized” in multiple (notably swing) states.

30+ bomb threats were called in and shut down polling stations on Election Day.

20+ million votes are still unaccounted for, and that’s just to have the same voter turnout as 2020.

There was record voter turnout and new/first-time voter registration this year. We definitely should be well over the turnout in 2020.

U.S. citizens are using this site to demand, not only a recount, but a complete investigation into election fraud and interference for the reasons stated above:

Here is what I submitted as an example:

An investigation for election interference and fraud is required. We desperately need a recount or even a revote. The American people deserve the right to a free and fair election. There has been evidence unveiled of Trump cheating and committing election fraud which is illegal. There is some evidence of possible Russian interference. At least 30+ bomb threats were called in to polling places. Multiple, notably swing states, have ballots unaccounted for and voting machines not registering votes. Ballots and ballot boxes were tampered with and burned. Over 20 million votes that we know of are unaccounted for. With record turnout and new voter registration this year, there should be no possibility that there are less votes than even in the 2020 election.

Sources (working on finding more links but if anyone wants to add info, it’s appreciated):

FBI addressing Russian interference and bomb threats:

Emails released by Rachael Bellis (private account, can’t share original tweet) confirming Trump committing election fraud:

Pennsylvania's Centre County officials say they are working with their ballot scanner vendor to figure out why the county's mail-in ballot data is "not being recognized when uploaded to the elections software:”

Wisconsin recount:

[ID:

Multiple screenshots and images.

The first is a screenshot with a link and information for contacting the White House directly regarding election fraud. The instructions include choosing to leave a comment to President Joe Biden directly and to select election security as the reason.

The screenshot then instructs people to include any or all of the following information in a paragraph as a comment to the president:

32 fake bomb threats were called into Democratic leaning poll places, rendering polling places closed for at least an hour.

A lot of people reporting their ballots were not counted for various reasons.

This all occurred in swing states.

This is too coincidental that these things happen and swing in his favor after months of hinting at foul play.

Directly state that an investigation for tampering, interference, fraud is required, not just a recount.

The second image is from the FBI Twitter account that reads:

The FBI is aware of bomb threats to polling locations in several states, many of which appear to originate from Russian email domains. None of the threats have been determined to be credible thus far. https://t.co/j3YfajVK1m — FBI (@FBI) November 5, 2024

The next four Gmail screenshots of an email sent to Rachael Bellis from Chris T. Spackman that read together as follows:

Dear BELLIS, RACHAEL E., The Dauphin County Board of Elections received a challenge to your absentee ballot you applied for in the November 5, 2024 General Election. The challenge argues that a provision of the Pennsylvania Election Code takes precedence over the federal Uniformed and Overseas Citizens Absentee Voting Act (UOCAVA), which requires states and counties to permit U.S. citizens who move overseas to vote by absentee ballot for federal offices based on their last U.S. residential address.

The full text of the challenge that was filed appears below this email.

You may respond to the challenge in any of the following ways:

1. Call the Bureau of Registration and Election at (717) 780-6360;

2. Email a statement to the Bureau at Election election@dauphincounty.gov. Any statement you submit regarding the period during which you lived in Dauphin County, any family or connections that you still have here, and why you are now residing abroad would be read into the record.

3. Appear in person at a Board of Elections hearing scheduled for Friday, November 8 at a time to be determined in the Commissioners Public Hearing Room, 4th floor of Dauphin County Administration Building, 2 S 20d St, Harrisburg, PA 17111. The meeting is also likely to be livestreamed on Facebook on the Dauphin County channel.

Sincerely,

Christopher T Spackman

TEXT OF CHALLENGE BEGINS

Dear Dauphin County Board of Elections,

I am submitting this challenge to an absentee ballot application pursuant to 25 Pa. Stat.

3146.8(f).

25 Pa. Stat. 3146.8(f) Any person challenging an application for an absentee ballot, an absentee ballot, an application for a mail-in ballot or a mail-in ballot for any of the reasons provided in this act shall deposit the sum of ten dollars ($10.00) in cash with the county board, which sum shall only be refunded if the challenge is sustained or if the challenge is withdrawn within five (5) days after the primary or election. If the challenge is dismissed by any lawful order then the deposit shall be forfeited. The county board shall deposit all deposit money in the general fund of the…

The rest of the forwarded email is cut off.

The last image is a screenshot of the official statement from the Centre County, Pennsylvania Board of Commissioners released on November 6, 2024 that states:

Centre County Working with Ballot Scanner Vendor to Export Election Results.

(Bellefonte, PA) -Centre County Elections Office is working continuously to provide mail-in ballot data in order to post unofficial results.

To this point, all ballots have been scanned, including all mail-in ballots.

Centre County's Election team and IT team have identified that the data are successfully being exported from the mail-in ballot scanners, but that the data is not being recognized when uploaded to the elections software.

Centre County's Administrator, John Franek, Jr. stated, "We have not stopped working, and we will continue to work until unofficial results are posted and reported to the Pennsylvania Department of State."

As a next step, Centre County has begun working with the equipment vendor to adjust configurations to make the two systems-the mail-in ballot scanner and the elections software where data are uploaded -compatible with one another.

We will provide updates as we make progress.

/end ID]

[thedemisapphic]

[thedemisapphic]

queer people of all kinds. i am looking you in the eyes. do not fucking kill yourself. are you listening to me it will be okay. it will get better. i am shaking you by the shoulders do. not. fucking. do. it. you have so much to keep going for and so many people who love you. the cost of the present will not outweigh the life ahead of you. i love you. chin up or down keep walking you'll get there. we will pull you back up onto your feet should you fall. i love you

[thedemisapphic]

Yeah that’s what gets me. Especially at this point, there is SO MUCH information as to why voting for Trump was an awful idea. But willful ignorance takes charge. And I will never understand why people are proud. “YAY!! WE VOTED A FELON INTO OFFICE!!!” I hope they realize what they’ve done when it comes back to bite them. Project 2025 will be merciless and I truly just have a knot in my stomach thinking about it. But they’ll probably end up blaming someone else 🙄

🧸 here’s a little Teddy to help you get through the school day, you’ve got this 👍

Woke up. Saw the election results. Honest to god I’ve never been more tempted to just drink to cope like I’m so done I can’t do another four years of this felon I truly just can’t. I don’t usually vent on here? But truly when I woke up and saw the news my body had like an instinctual freeze, like “no no no no no no no” and all I could think was “not again, I can’t do this again” and thinking about it lasting 4 years?!?! I can’t fucking do it. I really- it was a popular vote, too… so many people wanted this. Why are so many people in my country so against human rights. Why will they blindly support this felon.

I might go to hell for this but I wish those people didn’t miss. Call me evil I just- I know that’s an awful thing to wish on someone and maybe I’m emotional right now but fuck FUCK I JUST-

GODDAMNIT

The gap between him and Kamala was so big, even if all the third party / throw away votes voted for her, it STILL wouldn’t have closed it. I wonder if more people voted, if it would have made a difference. Or if those people would ALSO have voted for trump. My mind is clinging to a possibility that has been proven to no long to possible. It’s gone. And I’m in such a state of shock I’m just wondering why. How the fuck have we as a country screwed up this badly. His campaign was the most bullshit disrespectful awful thing I’ve ever seen, and he STILL won. I want to SCREAM. People are saying “all because the opponent was a woman” and maybe that’s part of it but I don’t think that’s most of it. Trump’s followers are like a cult. They’ll follow him until their last breath whether it makes sense or not. They’ll throw everything away in his name. The January 6 riots are proof of that, and trump said he was going to free some of them. So look at that! They’ll be REWARDED for their behavior! And what a shitty President to endorse such an attack. I can’t believe he’s going to be president again I really can’t.

I hate living in a country full of idiots.

[thedemisapphic]

Woke up. Saw the election results. Honest to god I’ve never been more tempted to just drink to cope like I’m so done I can’t do another four years of this felon I truly just can’t. I don’t usually vent on here? But truly when I woke up and saw the news my body had like an instinctual freeze, like “no no no no no no no” and all I could think was “not again, I can’t do this again” and thinking about it lasting 4 years?!?! I can’t fucking do it. I really- it was a popular vote, too… so many people wanted this. Why are so many people in my country so against human rights. Why will they blindly support this felon.

I might go to hell for this but I wish those people didn’t miss. Call me evil I just- I know that’s an awful thing to wish on someone and maybe I’m emotional right now but fuck FUCK I JUST-

GODDAMNIT

The gap between him and Kamala was so big, even if all the third party / throw away votes voted for her, it STILL wouldn’t have closed it. I wonder if more people voted, if it would have made a difference. Or if those people would ALSO have voted for trump. My mind is clinging to a possibility that has been proven to no long to possible. It’s gone. And I’m in such a state of shock I’m just wondering why. How the fuck have we as a country screwed up this badly. His campaign was the most bullshit disrespectful awful thing I’ve ever seen, and he STILL won. I want to SCREAM. People are saying “all because the opponent was a woman” and maybe that’s part of it but I don’t think that’s most of it. Trump’s followers are like a cult. They’ll follow him until their last breath whether it makes sense or not. They’ll throw everything away in his name. The January 6 riots are proof of that, and trump said he was going to free some of them. So look at that! They’ll be REWARDED for their behavior! And what a shitty President to endorse such an attack. I can’t believe he’s going to be president again I really can’t.

I hate living in a country full of idiots.

[thedemisapphic]

🔥DONNIE SWEEP🔥

GRAND FINALS