thedaipanfactor-blog - Tumblr blog

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Okay. So I decided to have a daily update on this new thing I'm doing. If it were a chapter in my life I'd title it "One year, One chance". It's basically about this guy that I'm dating. Let's call him Bunny, no not like The Easter bunny because he's fictitious and gives children cavities, but it's because it's his pet name and I don't want to say who he is. Anyway, One Year One Chance is a test of will for not only me but Bunny as well. After exactly one year of dating it seems that the relationship has taken a detour. We fight, I'm not happy, he's not happy (medically and not medically) and we'll I'm basically going to give myself one year to decide whether or not this relationship is the best for me. I mean what if I'm being an impatient twenty-some year old who can't handle a serious relationship and there for is running away? Or maybe I'm making the right decision and ditching the while thing...who knows. I'll update again later tonight on the details

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Good morning! Almost two weeks into the new year and I decided to revamp my diary account. As of 2014 I’ve lived a life dedicated to the scary. My first year in University. My first full time job. My first place! Whoohoo! Now that it’s 2015 it’s now the year of the love! Do the things I love. To do photography again. Draw what I love . Film. And especially Cosplay. I’m consumed by cosplay because it is everything I enjoy! Art and fashion and makeup and fantasy and so much more! I’m excited for the year to come!

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I already liked Old Economy Steve. So, it was only natural I’d like the Scumbag Baby Boomer meme as well. I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

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I've got this biggest crush on my boyfriend, it's kind of embarrassing

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I want Wonder Woman, where is WONDER WOMAN THE MOVIE!?

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please let me have this type of relationship!

16 year old Ryan and Chelsie? :) :)

Haha, here you go. You hit the gold mine this time! I included a timeline of us in photos together….because I seriously adore this guy and it made me so happy to look at all these photos again. Hope you don’t mind. :) 

We started out two little silly pies. 

And then we met as those awkward 11 and 12 year olds

And then I started liking him back….and he asked my dad’s permission to take me to homecoming and give me my first kiss. I was 16 and he was 15. We were definitely awkward here. :)

And then he turned 16 and I turned 17 the next year  :)

And then the next year when I turned 18 and he turned 17 :)

Then we went overseas together and we decided we knew marriage was in the future.

And then I cut my hair all off and turned 19 and graduated with my AA and went away to college

And then I figured out how madly in love with Ryan I was and came home and he graduated college and my hair started getting long again

And then Ryan went away at school and was poor and lived in his car for a while and I used to drive to meet him at Starbucks an hour away and we fell in love all over again in that little Starbucks and it was wonderful.

And then he proposed when he was 19 and I was 20

and then we got married on the most beautiful day of my life… only a few months later…..because, in our hearts, we knew we were always meant to be together since we were 12 years old.

and now we are married and it was the greatest decision we ever made.

and there’s is the beginning of our adventure together. (and if you’re still following me after this ridiculous overload of Chelsie & Ryan photos, I will love you forever :) 

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“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

― Joseph Campbell (via psych-quotes)

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“Remember, whatever you focus upon, increases…When you focus on the things you need, you’ll find those needs increasing. If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don’t have, you will soon be concentrating on other things that you had forgotten you don’t have-and feel worse! If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose…But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person’s life.”

― Andy Andrews (via psych-quotes)

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It’s odd to think of people feeling simultaneously superior and insecure. Yet it’s precisely this unstable combination that generates drive: a chip on the shoulder, a goading need to prove oneself. Add impulse control — the ability to resist temptation — and the result is people who systematically sacrifice present gratification in pursuit of future attainment.

"What Drives Success?" By Amy Chua and Jed Rubenfeld, The NY Times (via cvuse)

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Relax. You will become an adult. You will figure out your career. You will find someone who loves you. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain.

Johanna de Silentio (via quotethat)

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I Want: I Can...Can I? January 2nd/2014

I want to travel around the world and try different cuisine. I want to teach young minds about The Great White North, where I live in, and show that it is possible to live with other races, religions and that it's okay to have different point of views. I want to throw tomatoes at La Tomatina in Buñol and throw dust into rainbows during Holi in India. I want to go to Tibet and talk amongst monks, and help build broken homes left behind by Haiyan. I want to teach English to Japanese and Korean school children and cosplay judge world wide. I want to showcase homes with the possibilities of a new home and make the next Candy Crush. I want to skydive from heaven and dives into the the depths of ocean. I want to discover new birds, and invent a new informercial phenomenon. I want to build a computer software/technological product where even Steve Jobs and Bill Gates can envy. I want to photograph the civil war and publish it Times Magazine and make the next emotional roller coaster of a video game with Naughty Dog. I want to go to World Youth Day and see the pope, and explore unfortold corners of slums. I want to capture the green vastness and beauty of Scotland and drink heavily with the Irish. I want to fall in love in Paris, and die happy in the Caribbean. I want to visit home in Austrailia and Vancouver and Manila, and discover the palace within Russia. I want to wear the Ao Dai in Vietnam and discover a new bottom dweller in the Pacific. All these things and yet I want to do more, help more, see more...but a haunting question lingers: Can I?

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UUUUGGGGGHHHHH February 1st/2014

My Frustrations over Skype

UUUUUURRRRG, my dad comes into my room and expects gas money (whatever I'm used to it, not happy because shit i don't even get driven in the car, but whatever). then My dad asks about the letter from macewan, i told him it wasn't a letter it was a cheque [12:58:24 AM] : I tried to write it off like, "Oh it was only 200 dollars", "I put it in the bank", "Idk where the recipt is from the bank deposit" [12:58:39 AM] and he's all "let me see it, im not going to use it i just want to see it" [12:59:06 AM] fuck off man, See it? You know you want it selfish self rightious bastard [1:00:24 AM] and then i show it to him after he harasses me about it and tell him "oh great it's 400 dollars, that'll cover 60% for my books b/c my books cost me 700 in total (it doesn't since i'm not buying all of my books)" [1:01:49 AM] and then he tells me to put my garbage away, and i'm like okay, he complains more because i don't do enough around the house (I leave early and comehome late self rightious asshole). I say fine, he walks out, I say thank you [1:02:17 AM] and he sits back down, smacks my laptop off my hands and i yell at him for breaking my shit, he says i'm being rude [1:02:24 AM] I just said thank you [1:03:15 AM] like wtf, UUUGH i said fucking thank-you and you yell at me and throw my shit around, (I'm funding your car ass wipe!!!) [1:03:47 AM] i put my stuff away and he's all "Fuck-off mother fucker you have no respect" [1:03:58 AM] I shake my head then he gives me more shit [1:04:05 AM] uuuggghhghghghg [1:04:16 AM] i'm out of here the next chance i get [1:04:21 AM] kk, end of rant [1:04:21 AM] ugh [1:04:29 AM] UUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH [1:04:32 AM] k end of rant

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“A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power.”

― Brian Tracy (via psych-quotes)

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Winter Thoughts January 29th/14

Day two, The weather worsens by the hour, it shudders my bones. My body warns me to go inside. I fear the inside. I fear the loneliness and solitude winter forces me to go into. The warmth of the inside, the safety of closed walls allows my mind to travel among the depths of my mind like the howling wind that travel aimlessly within the city. Thoughts like:

What should I study?

Where are my IDs that I so desperately need?

What is my career path?

Who in their right minds would get into computer programming?

Does he think of me?

Is he real? Or a mask worn to portray my fantasy?

Is this what love feels like, or is this what infatuation reveals itself to be?

Will I be the person I know I can be...or could be?

Late night thoughts, and internal fights of listen-to-what-they-says and dont-judge-a-book-by-it's-covers. A dear friend of mine pointed out my nievety. My Nievness towards a falsified relationship based off of ideals and falling inlove with the idea of a person. To think, my fantasies crushed by the utterings of dissappointment from reality, can really affect a person. I'm tired. Reveal yourself masked one, or maybe...I'm the masked stranger all along.

"Hey baby is that pepperoni on your shirt because have sex with me" ;)