thebeautythings-blog1

[thebeautythings-blog1]

for someone who loves to wear tank tops i sure fuck up my arms a lot

[thebeautythings-blog1]

Am I missing you or the way I felt with you?

[thebeautythings-blog1]

“I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.”

— Unknown

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[thebeautythings-blog1]

i think im going insane. the thoughts are flooding my head drowning me in thousands of different ways and i dont think there is no going back from it. this is the darkest i think its ever been and for the first time im not fighting anymore. im exhausted. i have no more fight left in me. there is no light at the end of the tunnel. drowning into darkness.. is there still hope for me? is it worth trying to come back up for air? do i even have the strength to do so? im going insane.

[thebeautythings-blog1]

it’s getting bad again…. my heart don’t want to beat for me anymore. my brain gave up and my soul went numb. i feel so…. gone

[thebeautythings-blog1]

But what if I didn't want the fucking world?

What if I didn't want better or deserve better?

What if all I wanted was you?

And all the bullshit that came with you but you wouldn't let me love you like that because you didn't feel deserving of it?

What then?

Would you have stayed?

Would it have made a difference in your decision to leave?

or did it not matter what the hell I wanted?

[thebeautythings-blog1]

“why do u sabotage every relationship?”. …. cuz i know how to love just not be loved

[thebeautythings-blog1]

“you smell like liquor”

and you smell sober move, u gettin me mad

[thebeautythings-blog1]

loneliness is more of a burden than a feeling. i carry it with shame and regret. my depression is a bolder on a cliff that only i, am the one that’s keeping it from falling. my grip on this bolder is getting harder and harder to keep from falling and shattering.

[thebeautythings-blog1]

[thebeautythings-blog1]

{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}

[thebeautythings-blog1]

D. H. Lawrence, from The Complete Works of D. H. Lawrence; “The Rainbow,” written c. 1919

[thebeautythings-blog1]

I’m ready to fight a million-year war as long as I find her at the end of it.

• Kirill Morozova, Heart of my monster

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Made to love, but not to be loved; made to understand, but not to be understood; always the poet, never the poetry.

[thebeautythings-blog1]

[thebeautythings-blog1]

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov