the-periwinkle-collective

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Tumblr is not a social media, it's an online psych ward.

[the-periwinkle-collective]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[the-periwinkle-collective]

If you are a paragenic (plurality that has its origin in paracosms and immersive daydreaming and madd) blog who accept median systems and those who are mixed origin/non traumagenic, please follow me. I do not have a disorder but I am partly traumagenic as well as neurogenic, and paragenic and maybe other things I am unaware of because there are so many origin terms lol. I am partly endogenic, I have an imaginary friend, yes, even as an adult. If you are endogenic or accepting and paragenic, I would love to see more of you on my dash. Come say hello.

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Reblog if I can gnaw on your bones

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Winter smells so good :3

[the-periwinkle-collective]

"Ah man im so unsure of my kins what if im just crazy?"

*me as soon as i get a drop of water on me*

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Hahaha i just remembered this but i forgot to make a post about it

I was on a walk a week or so ago with my friend, we were walking our dogs and we saw a rabbit and i was the first one to bark at it. It was so embarrassing and hilarious and she just laughed it off and it was such a nice experience. She has no idea I’m a therian, she was just like “the intrusive thoughts won” and i was like “lmao you’re so right” (like a liar)

[the-periwinkle-collective]

RAHHHH ITS SNOWING AND I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY IN THE SNOW AND SHIFT BUT I’M SICK SO I CANT

[the-periwinkle-collective]

TW: vent about dangerous ideations

There’s a whole person that hates you now.

She exists solely because of the both of you.

You are responsible for all of our suffering that you could care less about.

And she bears all of it.

It’s loud. And angry. And scary. And I am scared.

She wants to wring your throat. She wants to inflict the same pain. She wants to kill you and finally be free of your abuse.

She won’t, there’s no doubt in my mind that none of us could ever really. Even just killing bugs makes us upset.

But all you do is scream at her for existing. All you do is bitch about any of us. And she is the EMBODIMENT of our hatred for you.

And some part of you deserves to die because she exists.

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Okay so- something that i haven’t experienced before (as someone who is autistic) is feeling so many different emotions at once. Like complete switches. Wdym i just went from sad and melancholic and lonely and existential to immediately switching fronts because our little saw a plushie he liked. Wdym that watching him get excited cheered me up.

RAGUGH i love these stupid system members

-🛹⚡️

[the-periwinkle-collective]

[the-periwinkle-collective]

reblog to preen and care for prev’s wings

[the-periwinkle-collective]

a collection of blinkies for oceankins! (all credits linked below!)

1-3 / 4-6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10-11 / 12 / 13 -15 / the rest i made on blinkies(.)cafe

[the-periwinkle-collective]

" Fish "

fish

[the-periwinkle-collective]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[the-periwinkle-collective]

I’m gonna make double my quota this week I’m GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN

[the-periwinkle-collective]

hot take, but i think dnis on informational posts are stupid. i came across a post that basically said that sometimes the reason your medication doesn't work is because you aren't drinking enough water (when taking meds, take atleast 8oz water which id like the average cup). but the thing is, it had "endos dni" on it. for some reason?

i'm all for curating your space and all, but an informational post like that, especially if it isn't about systems, doesn't mean you have to put a dni. endos aren't gonna come on all your posts to say they're endos, they also take medication too man.

that isn't the only example, but it pisses me off that really vital information can be gatekept from a group of people because of a fucking dni.