the-paranoia-agent

[the-paranoia-agent]

Gengar is so iconic for just being like “now kiss”!

Gengar said GAY RIGHTS

[the-paranoia-agent]

I just woke up. It is 3am. It is quiet and soft. I made some tea and am sitting in the living room with "Yours Truly Johnny Dollar" on my retro style radio crocheting. Yesterday I did the same in the morning with a rainstorm outside the open windows.

I almost wish I had good recording equipment to share times like these.

I would introduce the video softly saying "It's 3am. You are in the living room with only the lamp and the cats to keep you company. Your partner is softly sleeping in the bedroom, and you can hear the noisemaker. The tea is on the tray next to you and your projact is on your lap. Johnny Dollar is on the radio. You are warm and safe."

This is a moment that is so lovely and nice I wish I could share it with y'all.

[the-paranoia-agent]

Double trouble bubble brew!

Comic continuation (3/3)!

tw: spiders

Got it done! wooooo! It's a little half past November but it's still technically fall so it's still in season!

I got a little burned out near the end so I made the little bonus panel just for fun! (also a break from drawing Alex and Abigail) Fun fact: Sam's hair is both fun and extremely frustrating to draw and although Sam's eye color is blue/gray but green in the sprite I did a combo of everything! blue gray eyes with green outline! Hope you guys enjoyed the little 3-parter comic, it was a bit of an experiment for me to test out my limits and I definitely learned a lot from this! Not doing this anytime soon again but maybe later in the future! I have a deep respect for comic artists because this is hard :( so now back to your regular content WOOOO!

If you missed the first part 1/3-

Previous part 2/3-

[the-paranoia-agent]

Scalemate Pattern

Hi friends - I got a request to share my scalemate pattern! And.. because of the weirdness of tumblr messages, I don’t remember who! So I hope this makes it back to whatever fellow Homestuck fan requested it - let’s make some piles of plushies!  As usual, if anyone uses this pattern, please link back to my page, and also send me a picture! I’d love to see what people make! I want to see an army of scalemates!

I used a 3mm crochet hook, and Red Heart Super Saver yarn in “Spring Green”. I’m certain, however, that Homestuck fans will be keen to choose their own color and associated scalemate name scheme - for example, this little fella is named Rear Admiral Applebottom.

^Head:

This is definitely the hardest part of the scalemate! My idea for the head was to start with the snout and crochet out, instead of just making a round head and sewing a snout on - it makes the face smoother, but also gives you a bit of a surprise as to what the shape becomes when you stuff it - if it becomes too rounded, I just kind of smoosh more definition into the face?? The trick here, is that in one row, I put all the increases on one side of the circle so that it flares out into the forehead area.

6 sc in a magic circle

inc 6x to make 12 stitches

3 rows of 12 stitches

(1 sc, inc) 6x to make 18 stitches

1 row of 18 stitches

(1 sc, inc) 6x, then additional 6 sc to make 24 stitches

1 row of 24 stitches

(3 sc, inc) 6x to make 30 stitches

(4 sc, inc) 6x to make 36 stitches

5 rows of 36 stitches

(4 sc, dec) 6x to make 30 stitches

(At this point, you can perform this step I describe below before finishing closing off the head, but I truly don’t think it made much of a difference!)

(3sc, dec) 6x to make 24 stitches

(2 sc, dec) 6x to make 18 stitches

Stuff the head, then finish closing

1 sc, dec 6x to make 12 stitches

6 dec to make 6 stitches

close off w more decreases

^ Optional Step

Here’s something that I tried, but didn’t seem to make too much of a difference and you can likely skip it if you want. I tried to make an indent where the eyes go by using a sewing needle and thread and catching a bit of the yarn where the eye should go, then pulling it in and tying a knot. In the end, this really didn’t make a difference in how the head looked, and I don’t even think it makes sense with the design of scalemates, so PLEASE feel free to skip this - I was mostly experimenting with new techniques!

^ Adding eyes:

These buttons came in a sewing repair kit that I picked up at some point in my life, but they were almost exactly the size of 12mm safety eyes! The one important thing to remember is that since you’re sewing eyes on rather than using safety eyes, they ARE less safe! Don’t let animals or small children chew them off!? Other than that, how exciting it is to be able to choose the eye color - I’m sure at craft stores there are lots of great color and style options!

Spikes and Tail:

Ok, this part is very straight forward! The one challenging thing is to start crocheting around that small (3 stitches) magic circle - I find that to give them a sharper point, I push my crochet hook into the spike to stretch it out before stuffing.

Small spikes (make 2)

3 sc in a magic circle

(1 sc, inc) 3x to make 6 stitches

2 rows of 6 stitches

medium spikes (make 2)

3 sc in a magic circle

(1 sc, inc) 3x to make 6 stitches

1 row of 6 stitches

(2sc, inc) 2x to make 8 stitches

2 rows of 8 stitches

large spikes (make 3, use one for tail)

3 sc in a magic circle

(1 sc, inc) 3x to make 6 stitches

, 1 row of 6 stitches

inc 6x to make 12 stitches

3 rows of 12 stitches

Leave a long tail of yarn at the end of each spike, stuff them, and sew them onto the head. I would recommend using pins to hold them in place so that I can make sure they go on as symmetrically as possible.

^ Body:

This body is super straight forward - I imagine that you can actually do color changes to make the tummy out of yarn, but I chose to make the tummy with felt - either one I’m sure will look fine!

6 sc in a magic circle 

inc 6x to make 12 stitches  

(1 sc, inc) 6x to make 18 stitches

(2 sc, inc) 6x to make 24 stitches

(3 sc, inc) 6x to make 30 stitches

(4 sc, inc) 6x to make 36 stitches

(4 sc, dec) 6x to make 30 stitches

1 row of 30 stitches

(3 sc, dec) 6x to make 24 stitches

2 rows of 24 stitches

(2 sc, dec) 6x to make 18 stitches

4 rows of 18 stitches

Leave a long tail of yarn and sew the body onto the head after stuffing! And while you’re at it, sew that tail on as well! 

^ Legs:

I’m so happy with how these turned out - to make them, I started with a chain 6 (the bottom of the foot), and crocheted around it. Then again I did some uneven decreases to make sure that the bottom of the leg was flush with the ground while the foot was somewhat distinct from the leg. Again, when it comes to yarn work, some fudging and hand-shaping goes a long long way!

chain 6

sc around the chain to make 12 stitches

(1 sc, inc) 6x to make 18 stitches

With the decreases, the reason the decreases came in such a weird spot for me was that I wanted the 3 (or 2) decreases to happen OVER the TOP of the leg - so however it turns out for you, just make sure you’re not decreasing on the long end of the oval!!!!

3 sc, dec 3x, finish with sc to make 15 stitches

3 sc, dec 3x, finish with sc to make 12 stitches

3 sc, dec 2x, finish with sc to make 10 stitches

3 rows of 10 stitches

Leave a long tail on the legs and sew them on to the body! 

The final thing I added was a little white tummy, which I just cut from felt and sewed on. Of course, any color will work, this is just what I happened to have on hand as I made the Admiral relatively early on in my crochet career. 

And that’s all! I’m afraid I didn’t take great pictures while I was making him, so apologies for that. If you get stuck on something in the pattern or something is looking wrong, please feel free to message me. Other than that, this is all in all a fairly simple amigurumi, especially compared to the massive work of art that is Homestuck. Happy crocheting!

[the-paranoia-agent]

Okay, so the latest chapter of Mieruko-Chan (Chapter 56) has set up three (3) things. There are spoilers in here, but this chapter was less big plot and more build up for characters and later plot.

1. Michiru and the Caterpillar Forest Spirit are still integrating

Michiru is still very Michiru, but the tentacles are goofy now. Probably because she doesn't feel like she has to be defensive or aggressive in having a friend, so the caterpillar forest spirit seems to have relaxed some. Why it's being so goofy is not yet seen but I'm not complaining. It looks like Michiru is still insecure of her place as Hana and Miko's friend (could be the cause for the goofy. She's trying to "unwind with friends"), and she's still adamant on Miko particular, but she's also interacting with Hana and is less forceful when Miko turns her down. Miko is also far less worried about the spirit (now that she knows what it is and Michiru's situation), and even considers the spirit a logical option for dangerous spirits, but isn't keen to bother Michiru with these situations. It's a process, Michiru with the group, and a good one to be seeing.

I also liked Zen-sensei's smile while seeing them goofing around. He definitely became a teacher with the mind to take notice of students in similar situations to him and act where and when he could, as we saw with Michiru's. Even if her situation was very different his "interference" was still needed. Michiru and You couldn't stay in a bubble forever.

2. The shadow

This was one of those suited shadows from the end of ch. 55. We aren't sure if these are spirits or something completely different.

These are clearly being built into an arc, but what they are for we don't yet know. These dudes and the main guy who seems very aware of Romm (and may be the Seto who Romm was going to contact but I've experienced a moment like this where characters you thought were built to be the same person turned out to be completely seperate). I'm wondering if these guys are attached to the caterpillar spirit story, cause it almost seemed like they were visiting the Caterpillar spirit's shrine which they found broken. However, I could be wrong and this is a completely different shrine. Maybe it could be linked towards Romm's near death experience we saw, or the as yet unresolved "WHAT THE HELL CAME OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN" from the end of the mountain shrine story, or something else entirely.

Altogether, they're around, they're probably going to be part of something important, and one is tailing Miko. Question is: Is it because she interacts with Michiru and the Caterpillar Spirit, or because she interacts with Romm? (And are they aware that she can see? That's a good question too, but I'm leaning towards "no and they'll just be mildly surprised she can".)

Initially when I saw the one tailing Miko, I thought it was another shape for the "photo guy" and have sense slapped my forehead realizing it wasn't. But I wonder if they might be something to get involved with the photo guy situation (I'm feeling very "each photo it appears in it grows closer" lurking death type). It did almost kill Romm after all and he's contemplating help from someone, but again I'm 50/50 on if it's actually the same person we saw in the manga.

3. Dad

On to our favorite household duo. Dad has shown he might not be around for an big reason, but he's definitely around to look after his family and that includes dangerous spirits that can latch onto and hurt the living. We have seen the first one actually capable of doing so, because it grabbed onto Kyoya with harmful intent.

A lot of people think that weird horse-dog looking ghost in the Yotsuya household may be another half of the dad, or it could be a guide for him in the way that creepy wheelchair dude that wheeled the recently deceased old man from the hospital away with his family. Either way, this entity has yet to be shown as dangerous (just unsettling for Miko) and the dad's ghost interacts with it casually. We also don't have a truely clear answer as to why dad or horse/dog spirit is still here.

However, in this chapter, we see dad is able to stand his ground against creepier entities, telling them clearly to leave, and the horse/dog acts as a sort of "guard dog" that will act if the problem doesn't back down.

Dad is sticking around to protect his family, and the other ghost is acting the same. We were lucky this spirit didn't seem to be

But, if I'm not mistaken, WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ONE GHOST OUTSIDE THE DOOR THAT ONE NIGHT WAS. I thought it was going to be linked to Michiru and You, but, with retrospect, I'm wondering if it was only imitating You. Knock and say a thing to get someone to answer the door. This interaction was tense due to the situation with Michiru, but I think it was setting up that Dad can tell the good from wrong sort.

Which could have been an important moment considering the interaction between the caterpillar spirit, the horse-dog and Dad. Dad didn't seem to have much self(ghost self?) preservation with the caterpillar spirit, who was acting out of over protectiveness due to Michiru's mental state. And it was the horse-dog that de-esculated that situation, considering it had caused it. This could be due to the separation of ghosts from something like guides and the strength of forest spirits (assuming again that horse-dog is a guardian type). Maybe Dad didn't clock the danger because it's a spirit attached to a living girl. Maybe he follows the horse-dog's lead of danger vs okay. Maybe he just didn't see a threat because he could recognize it for what it was and it was the equivalent of trying to approach a chihuahua (they can lash out or become putty and its a coin toss sometimes). There's options, probably more than what I came up with.

[the-paranoia-agent]

It blew my mind when I read this chapter.

I thought I understood what was going on.

"Older sister living vicarious through her younger sister and isolating her to remain in control, with probably terrifying insinuations."

Instead, we have two orphaned girls, with one who channels her care and want for others to care through excessive acts of service, and the other having to take on an adult responsibility of raising her younger sister and helping handle this, but she only wants Michiru to not be hurt. And she gets hurt when she's rejected. So she tries to prevent hurt through rejection by preventing interaction. Which isn't right, but she was a maybe middle schooler entering high school who was expected to take care of her sister's behavior like a parent. What else could she do?

And I think this is why Michiru became a model. It let's her be seen, but only surface level. No one will see her extreme lengths for acts of service and desire to be wanted by others if they only see her as a pretty picture. She'll be wanted in a superficial sense, but she'll be seen. I think that may have been a logic point You had.

They're tragic sisters and I want to see more of You and Zen becoming friends and Michiru realizing she is accepted as herself with Miko (who is understanding more now), Hana (who has genuinely accepted Michiru entirely) , and Yuria/Julia (who may still be afraid but she's afraid of Miko too so how's this any different?).

She’s so real

If she gets cut from the main cast because her arc is over I’m going to go crazy.

[the-paranoia-agent]

Are you currently writing the full length fic for this? This is enthralling and I'm hooked on the idea hard! I keep wondering if maybe the 501st will find out on Umbara. Pong Krell getting owned by a were-eel is rather amusing.

I'm also laughing at myself because my mind flashed one of my childhood movies Alvin and The Chipmunks meet The Wolfman, and two of it's songs. For the Dominos trying to hide Fives when he's transformed, it's "Now That The Monster's Out In You" and I imagine "cryptid hunters" Tup and Dogma investigating with the song "Munks on a mission". It's goofy playing in my head.

This whole thing is great!

But now I have this urge to write for it. I was wondering if you were currently writing it or if you mind someone trying to dabble with it? I wouldn't want to touch with it without knowing or permission. If you are or don't want anyone to touch it, I understand completely. I just wanted to ask.

It's a fantastic au either way and I look forward to future stuff!

Eel Side of the Moon AU Masterpost

Summary: After getting bitten by an unusual eel while on his first week of being on the Rishi Moon Outpost assignment, Fives comes down with a rather unusual and monstrous condition. It's up to Domino Squad to protect their cursed brother from those who may try to use him as a weapon, while also trying to figure out how to best take care of the giant eel monster with almost no impulse control.

Another self-indulgent AU where I combine my love for lycantrophy type curses, cool monster design, G/T aspects and misunderstood monsters.

Art

Were-eel Fives

Various Doodles (Feat. both Tatooine Odd Encounters AU Cody and @milfcutlawquane 's Giant Merman Rex vs Tiny Command Chain Merfolks AU Rex)

Were-eel Fives poking Cutup (Art by the lovely @gaeasun)

Were-eel on a string

General Information

Setting up the Plot

Why Fives can't recognized fully armoured clones

Dietary requirements, transformation pains and secrets

Brotherly love vs Rishi Eel instincts

The pros and cons of being a were-eel!

Hiding a were-eel ain't easy work...

Local cryptid and the "cryptid hunters"

Were-eel Fives the easily inconvenienced

[the-paranoia-agent]

Oh my gosh I love this! Alpha looks soft for once. But you have produced tooth rotting fluff in my head (because I've been reading the fic Gar Cabur).

I'm just thinking of Alpha stealing cakes from my OC or she catches him with some cakes with no intent to share, and she tries to get the uneaten one. He will smash it over her head as a defense. She will still eat what can be salvaged from her hair. She will return the favor by smearing frosting in his hair.

Or maybe in the scuffle the cake fell to the floor and now they are

Alternative to my OC, the CCs(and Rex) as cadets find him and will not let this slide. There's a cadet on each limb and Rex is climbing his back. Probably resulting in the above.

[the-paranoia-agent]

This is me with my younger siblings, except they're all way taller than me.

Being the oldest myself, I've experienced this and I'm sure many of you guys have too. So here's my take on Yakko experiencing that oldest sibling pressure:

The Warner's in a conflicting situation

Wakko: Yakko?!

Dot: *grabbing onto him* Yakko do something!? What do we do?!?

Wakko: Yakko hurry!

Dot: *shaking him* Come on you're the oldest tell us what to do!

Yakko: [panicked and equally as afraid] physically, not mentally, i don't-

[the-paranoia-agent]

Jedd Walker from The Sandman comics?

Venom prompt - Eddie decides he wants a career change, but still wants to help ppl. He'd also like an easier way to find bad ppl for Venom to munch on. After some deliberation, he decides to go into Child Protective Services.

This is their favorite part.

Every officer had their nightmare situation. Losing a case, and seeing the children taken back by the last people who should be allowed near them. The poor children taking the stand, the prosecutor turning on them. The photos sent from the examining doctor.

But this, this is pretty bad too. Certainly on some people’s worst nightmares. The first time they walk into the house for a welfare check and they just know. There’s something so utterly wrong, and the longer the child stays, the worse it’ll be.

It’s nothing quite clear at first, at least to a normal person. Someone without Venom’s nose for blood and Eddie’s sixth sense of suffering. The house is soaked in both, clinging to the little lace doilies over the backs of the chairs, the perfectly dusted framed photographs. A man and a woman. Always just two. No sign of a child.

According to the adoption records, little Jed Walker was adopted by the couple two years ago. There are no school admissions records though, no listing with the doctor.

And the neighbours have heard screams. Screams for months, maybe years, until a daughter came home from college and called CPS.

And CPS sent Eddie.

The front door was locked, but these idiots clearly believed no one would ever find the spare key under the flowerpot. They leave the key on the table, and checks upstairs. There’s a child’s bedroom, but it’s clearly never been used, and posters are decades out a date. A grown child’s bedroom, kept for paternal nostalgia. It smells of dust and lint up here, and Eddie closes their eyes, and follows their nose.

They go back down, run fingers over the ancient, faded wallpaper until they find the bump of a covered door. Venom wells from his shoulder and presses through the crack and- oh. He knows that smell. He’s tasted it on countless worlds, the dying days before they were devoured by his species. 

The blood, the weeping desperation and despair.

Eddie, Venom coils back inside him, shivers. A child, Eddie.

“Yeah.” He fits his fingers into the shallow crack between the door and the frame. It takes Venom a moment to gather himself before claws emerge from their hands, tearing into the door and wrenching it it free. The damp wood cracks and pops, the lock hanging loose like a lost tooth.

“Hey.” Eddie calls. “You in there?”

There’s no sound, but it’s a particularly kind of not-sound, like a small child, holding their breath.

Eddie finds their torch. “It’s okay.” He keeps his voice low, but Venom coils around his vocal cords, turning into a heavy purr. “I’m here to get you out, Jed. I can call you Jed, right?”

The concrete stairs are damp and slippery, the torch picks out the water stains, the mold, the rats scurrying in the corners. His nose is reeling from the stench of unwashed body and the ammonia of piss and fear. “I’m Eddie,” He continues, “But you can call us Venom, okay?”

“‘k.” It’s so small, Eddie barely catches it. He follows the sound with the torch and the boy cringes, covering his eyes.

“Okay, a bit too bright, yeah?” Eddie lowers the light. The boy is pale and shivering, clothes far too small and worn through at the knees and elbows. His eyes seem too big, his hair long and lank, crawling with lice. “Do you want to hold it?”

The boy stares at him for a moment, then jerks his head in a brief nod. Eddie hands him the torch and takes out his back up. “This is where you live?”

Another pause, another nod. “Well, I’m not crazy about animals, so how about you help me out? Want to go upstairs and get a glass of milk?”

The look of terror on the boy’s face says it all. “It’s okay.” Eddie puts a hand on his shoulder, gently steering him towards the stairs. “I don’t like it down here, I’m scared of rats. Are you scared of rats?”

The boy shrugs. “The spiders are okay.”

“I’m scared of spiders too. You have to be really brave-” he keeps the boy talking until they make their slow, stumbling way out of the basement.

He looks even worse in the late afternoon light. The boy cringes, covering his face, his eyes watering. He flinches as a car rattles into the driveway.

And this- this is Eddie’s favourite part. He grins, and keeps on grinning. The boy’s eyes grow wide as Venom’s smile unzips his, drawing out endless razor sharp teeth. His mouth drops open, but he’s no longer shivering.

“Showtime.” They purr.

The guardians must have seen them inside, because they charge into the house, slamming the door behind them. Eddie catches sight of the man’s bloated face, red-white like badly mixed ice-cream, the woman’s face, just as pale and tight with rage. “What are you-”

Then they see them, and stop. Their mouths drop open, they start back to the door-

But Venom moves first.

When Eddie looks up, sucking down a length of intestine, the boy is standing very still, his hands over his eyes. Good. “Smart kid.” Venom agrees, and they go back to their meal.

 After cleaning themselves off, and mopping the floor. Eddie helps the boy to a glass of milk and a sandwich, and leads him out to the car.

He doesn’t say anything, staring at them with bright eyes. Eddie’s just started the engine when a small hand wraps around his arm. “You stop bad people, Mr Venom?”

Venom pushes free of Eddie’s shoulder and grin. “We eat bad people,” He agrees. “Tell us if you find more.”

The boy meets Venom’s eyes, and Eddie’s. He nods solemnly.

[the-paranoia-agent]

There is not one thing on this list that doesn't have me smiling.

Is there any good news today?

[the-paranoia-agent]

Good choice for Globgor and River to have the same opinion for their respective wives. They share a lot of family related opinions I actually really liked how, in the show, River immediately warmed up to Globgor because "the man's a father".

And of course Jareth, Emily, Evander, and Azul also love their wives so much.

To all the Kings of Mewni, what do you think about your wifes?

[the-paranoia-agent]

I’m really into the idea of a Phantom of the Opera au but it’s canonverse. Like Aziraphale is having the time of her life in the 1800s as this up-and-coming opera singer, and she has this strange shadowy teacher coaching her voice; she’s never seen the voice’s owner but, whatever, it’s an old opera house, bound to have some phantoms wandering around. And this one seems like a perfectly charming fellow.

The teacher plays pranks to sabotage Aziraphale’s competition, and he leaves notes around asking for a salary, just royally fucking with the owners. Aziraphale’s entertained by the phantom’s antics.

Then, the night after Aziraphale’s big debut, the phantom appears masked in her mirror and takes her down to this dark misty dungeon. He sings about his dark home where he’s studied all the most beautiful music and how he’s going to teach her the music of the night and really lays it on thick, you know.

Aziraphale thinks “hmmm I wonder why this strange man lives down here and hides his face, I’ll take off his mask and see what’s under it” 

And when she does, the dark misty dungeon just dissolves into yelling -

“CROWLEY? IS THAT YOU??”

“DAMN IT ANGEL YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO RECOGNIZE ME, I WAS DOING A WHOLE MYSTERIOUS BUILDUP THING”

[the-paranoia-agent]

When everyone's going through ship wars but you're a multi shipper so nothing happens to you

[the-paranoia-agent]

I wanted to make a writer's hell joke. But I thought about this and I thought "I'd be pretty happy."

I voiced this to my mom and she said "Like you could go to writer's hell anyways. What are they going to get you for? Writer's block? Fanfiction? All of the half outlines in every notepad of the house?"

I wasn't sure if she was making a joke or not but I was the butt of it regardless.

If only she knew what happens in my fanfictions.

What do you think Writers' Heaven and Hell are like?

Pretty similar, actually. The main difference is whether you’re happy or not that the writer at the desk beside you seems to be writing away joyfully.

[the-paranoia-agent]

Finish that sentence. I dare you.

BITCH??? BITCH?!!?! BITCH!!!!!?!!

[the-paranoia-agent]

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did