the-indian-mcu-fangirlz

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Peter: And yeah that’s pretty much how I’m planning on telling MJ I like her

Steve: It’s not bad—

Tony: Kid, it fuckin sucks.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Peter: HAPPY, HELP ME

Peter: Someone showed up at the store I work at and is furiously asking a refund for the lawn mower they bought

Happy: And how do I help you with that?

Peter: It was Mr. Stark...

Happy: TONY YOU HIRE PEOPLE TO MOW YOUR LAWN WHY THE HELL DO YOU NEED A LAWN MOWER??

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Bruce: Nat broke up with me

Steve: you did WHAT?

Bruce: Apparently, she met this guy online

Bruce: Here’s the thing. That guy was me, catfishing her the whole time.

Peter: This sounds like the plot of the piña colada song by Rupert Holmes?

Nat: I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE—

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Tony: According to scientists, our hair is the thinnest thing in the world. I bet I can make something to change that

Pepper: Well clearly, you haven’t seen my patience after I started working for you.

Peter: OOh burn

Tony: *glares at Peter*

Peter: I apologize for the intrusion. Have a good day Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Tony, texting: Do ducks have jackets?

Tony: Did muck save maggots?

Tony: Does fuck favor packet?

Tony: Never fucking mind

Pepper: What even...

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Peter: I’m so sorry. Are you still mad?

MJ: 4 words, 16 letters and we’re even

Peter: I’ll buy you take-out?

MJ: What’re you waiting for? Get your ass up and fill my belly already.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Bucky: I wasn’t that drunk. I drove myself home.

Sam: Who’s gonna tell him that I drove him home and he was steering a paper plate on the way back?

Bucky: I thought that was a dream!

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Steve: Are you ready, kids?

Morgan and Peter: Aye aye captain!

Steve: I can’t hear youuuu!

Morgan and Peter: AYE AYE—

Sam and Bucky: OOOOOHHH WHO LIVES IN A CRACK HOUSE AND SNORTS ECSTACY? CAPTAIN ROGERS!

Pepper: There are KIDS here

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Wanda: I swear to god, Clint yelled at me so much today

Pietro: Why?

Wanda: THIS IS YOUR FAULT BY THE WAY

Pietro: Tf did I do—

Wanda: We were training and when he punched, I took a hit. Apparently, I “didn’t see it coming”.

Pietro: *giggle fit*

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Natasha: *breathes*

Steve: . . .

Bucky: . . .

Sam: . . .

Bruce: Alexa, play “God is a woman” by Ariana Grande.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Steve: What’re you two up to?

Peter: Oh, Mr. Stark was just gonna give me the birds and bees talk.

Steve: wait TONY NOT YET!

Tony: The hell do you mean? What’s wrong with talking about birds and bees?

Steve: Oh. *starts walking out*

Tony: So as you grow older, your body starts...wanting certain things—

Steve: I SAID NO TONY!

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Bruce: Natasha?

Nat: Yes?

Bruce: I love you UwU

Nat: Ok.

Bruce: You’re supposed to say it back.

Nat: Ok then. It back.

*three hours later*

Bruce, crying: AND WHEN I ASKED TO SAY IT BACK, SHE LITERALLY SAID IT BACK!

Clint: You should’ve been more specific.

Bruce: WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON BITCH?

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Peter: *in a large bowl of berries* Berry me!

Ned: Peter, you’re already berried. How many more do you want?

MJ: If you don’t get out of there, I WILL actually bury you.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Clint: Nat, do you wanna build a snowman?

Nat: No

Clint: *puppy dog eyes* it doesn’t have to be a snowman

Nat: GO AWAY CLINT!

Clint: okay byee....

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Tony: Kid, you’re an Avenger

Peter: Avenge her? But I don’t even know who she is!

Tony: . . .

Tony: You know I can always take someone else on—

Peter: Thank you for providing me with such an opportunity and I will be eternally grateful.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Wanda, drunk: I don’t think I can sleep just yet. Kinda scared of the monsters under the bed.

Vision: The space under your bed doesn’t seem all that big so maybe the monster isn’t that big.

Wanda: Oh my god that means it’s a baby monster.

Vision: So you’ll have to raise. Guide it to become a good monster and make you proud.

Wanda: You’re right! I’ll be off now.

Steve: How the hell’d you do that?

Vision: I’m a natural, sir.

[the-indian-mcu-fangirlz]

Bruce: I don’t have a taser for a reason. If I did I would most likely taser myself.

Vision: Please don’t taser yourself. If you do, your muscles will lock up and you’ll keep tasing yourself which will potentially lead to heart failure.

Bruce: Your point being?

Vision: You won’t be able to taser yourself ever again. So if you do, have a friend or responsible adult by your side. Like me!

Bruce: That sounds great! Alright you wanna do it now?

Vision: As you wish.

Tony: *watching from the side* The fuck just happened?