the-guild-codex-and-other-things

[the-guild-codex-and-other-things]

Demonized 4 Spoilers

(The Real Reason Robin and Zylas Decided to Travel The World)

Robin: Maybe I should make some cookies.

Zylas: Yes.

*Robin's phone rings*

Amalia: Don't answer that.

Robin, answering: Hello?

Aaron, on the other end of the phone: Hi, Robin. Sorry to bother- Oh, what the fuck?! Sorry to bother you but there's a bunch of demons and they're not friendly- I'm calling her, Kai. Do you see how I'm holding the phone right now? Hey-!

Kai, now on phone: Hi, we need you to bring Zylas downtown to help out.

Robin: Alright, we're on the way.

Amalia: This is like the 5th time this month.

Zylas: I am owed cookies.

Robin: I know, I know.

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Kit, following Blythe around the bullpen: Come on, Captain. There's got to be something for me to work on. I'm so bored. I've already digitized years worth of files, and, even worse, I was professional to Vincent just to see what would happen.

Blythe: Ah, well, in that case, no. There's nothing for you to do.

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Tori: I will be a better, less nosy person. I will mind my own business, and I will stay out of things that don't involve me.

*Argument starts up several rooms away*

Tori: . . . Starting tomorrow.

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*Saber, Tori, and Robin all looking at a MPD Wanted poster drawing of Saber*

Tori: They really captured her essence.

Robin: She looks kinda angry, though.

Tori: That's kind of what I meant.

*Saber glaring at both of them*

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Rogue: You exploded Joe!

Kit: Or did Joe explode himself?

Kit, taps head: I'm just saying.

Joe, tied up, invisible, and unable to be heard by anyone else in the room: I didn't explode?!

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Amalia: Could you not Robin this into a worse situation than it already is?

Robin: Could you not use my name as a verb?

*Zylas destroying a refrigerator behind them as a rogue guild screams in terror*

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Warped 3

Kit: Have you ever met anyone that you didn't kill?

Zak: Well, I haven't killed you yet.

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Kai: The real tragedy was the friends we made along the way.

Darius: Don't you mean "treasure"?

Kai: No. Having to care about other people has been a real bummer for me and my personal goals.

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Zak: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Kit: You are literally whittling a wooden horse for Saber as we speak.

Zak, pointing aforementioned tiny horse threateningly: You're on thin fucking ice.

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Mild Spoilers for Spellbound 8

*In the middle of a Canadian winter*

Aaron, to Kai and Ezra: Maybe we should retire to a nice, warm island.

Ezra: What about Tori and Izzah?

Aaron: Oh, you could bring them.

Kai: Gee, thanks.

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Wylan: So... What are we doing?

Kaz: Oh. Crime.

Wylan, mildly shocked: Crime. Good. Okay. Crime.

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Kit: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Zylas: They do. Robin: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

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Saber: If I die, you can have what little I own. Zak: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die? Saber: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full. Zak: Zak: *Sighs* Let me call Ríkr again.

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Aaron: Seriously, Kai, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Kai: That’s not important Aaron: I DISAGREE.

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*Darius and Kai are planning to break in somewhere* Darius: We need to distract the guards. Kai: Right. Darius: What are we gonna do? Kai: I'm gonna break their elbows while you jab their eyes. Darius: Kai: Darius: Deal.

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Robin: Why is there ice cream in a line down the apartment?

Amalia: I'm warding off your demon. That is his side, this is mine.

Zylas, with his tail twitching: Until it melts.

Amalia: ... Robin, I need more ice cream!

Robin: How much ice cream do you think we have?

Amalia: Well, regular ice, then!

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Spoilers for Unveiled 4 & Bonus Epilogue

Kit, at Zak and Saber's house after getting the address from Tori: I mean, I just don't see why I wouldn't be invited if everybody else was.

Lienna, with the care of someone who has listened to this multiple times: Right.

Kit, noticing a bunch of horses: What the- They have horses? Lienna, they have horses! I feel like I don't even know them anymore.

Kit, devastated: I mean, did all of that time bending the law for them mean nothing? Did the favors, the late nights, the bad takeout I forced Zak to pay for because he owed me, did it mean nothing?

*Lienna points to a sign stating that intruders will be killed*

Kit, brightly: That's more like it!