the-frog-wizard-leep

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

top 3 places to bleed out:

1. the snow

2. your lover/best friend/homoerotic comrade’s arms

3. bathroom floor

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

It's now safe and warm with some hazelnuts

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

guy whos already dating someone but he really wants to set his friend up so hes always commenting on couples posts like "michael and who😍❤️"

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

my general position on public nuisance is "you should do your best not to irritate or inconvenience other people unless there's a good reason" and then litigate the "good reason" on a case by case basis. i think that's the best anyone can do. the definition of "good reason" varies wildly depending on context, your background, culture generally, what data you have as a participant or a bystander, and local laws, and all three of these things are relevant factors

for example it really does lower my level of reactive, irritable stress with my neighbors to know their names and general schedules. i don't know why but it really does bother you less if Kyle Upstairs is having a party a little too late and you can hear Bulletproof through the ceiling, as opposed to if you're on year three of living underneath some anonymous fuckhead you want to kill. it's like oh Kyle's cousin is visiting and they're just chilling out maybe they lost track of the time. this makes all the difference. as usual the best advice is to form community with the people around you no matter what, even if you are entirely self-interested it will benefit you in the end. well that's all I got

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

LOL = Luigi… oh, Luigi

ROFL = Right on, fuckin’ Luigi!

LMAO = Luigi makes awesome omelettes

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

by calling it "time theft", the state created a crime that sounds even cooler than simply dicking around while on the clock, something which is already incredibly cool

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

Don't you just love when a character is barely a person? When they're just a big lie dressed in some silly clothes? Like, who are you? What do you mean you have no idea? And yes I absolutely would love to find out.

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

i wish there was an easier way to tell the difference between an "if it sucks hit da bricks" situation and a "sometimes being an adult means doing things that you dont wanna" situation

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

super simple low-effort ao3 summary methods that are 1000% better and 1000% less annoying than just saying you suck at summaries:

copypaste the first few lines of the fic. u already wrote ‘em. let ‘em be their own damn hook

if ur feeling fancy & don’t mind showing ur hand a bit, copypaste the first few lines of the fic that u feel are esp. Important or Interesting - the ones where u first start getting into the real meat of things

state the main tropes! theyre probably already in ur tags - just say them again - maybe as a full sentence if ur feelin fancy. or with a joke if ur feelin Extra fancy

ask a question. pose a hypothetical. eg what happens if u take [character] and put them in [situation]?

make an equation. [character] + [thing] = [outcome]

just write like a one-sentence summary of what the fuck is going down. just one (1) sentence. doesnt matter if it doesn’t cover every important aspect. or if it sounds bland. any summary sentence is gonna be miles better than “idk i suck at summaries”

just…explain the fic like u would to a friend? it doesnt have to be a polished back of the book blurb. it can just be “[pairing] coffee shop au, but like, still with murder, and also i made everyone trans. enjoy”

just stick a meme in there

honestly who cares

just put literally anything but a self deprecating comment in there & ur golden

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

hey so last night i was looking for charming teddy bears, and what should have been a just and noble quest devolved into a horrible discovery:

for around 200 big ones, you can purchase a teddy bear with the body of a man and the eyes of a creature that knows it should not exist

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

it really is insane how little you hear about "america has the world's highest prison population by such a significant margin that it would be seen as excessively over-the-top if it was used in fiction"

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

Out of Touch

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

[the-frog-wizard-leep]

ₒ︎08Ɩ ʌǝɹd ǝʇɐʇoɹ oʇ ƃoןqǝɹ