the-experience-eclipse

[the-experience-eclipse]

i.. i did something good.

i still failed of course. i didnt win. i was so close.. i couldve eaten my god apples, i couldve been better at getting totems-

but- i- i did good.

and Midas recognized it. they talked about *me* they *compliemented* me.. they said i did a good job and ive done a good job in the other challenges-

and they compliemented me *along with Dana*

*the winner*

..i really liked this cycles challenge. not only because of the compliements, but it was fun to just fight and strategize, and.. it was fun.

[the-experience-eclipse]

i *finally* did something good! for once! someone recognized my efforts!

fucking finally

[the-experience-eclipse]

huh. interesting.

youre also on the queue then, i assume? i doubt ive talked to you on there.

Wait, you’re one of the things, does that mean you’re from the brown world too?

-a random potion bottle ( @echoqueue56 )

uh. yeah, i am. well its kinda complicated a bit but yeah i come from the brown world-

who are you?-

[the-experience-eclipse]

Wait, you’re one of the things, does that mean you’re from the brown world too?

-a random potion bottle ( @echoqueue56 )

uh. yeah, i am. well its kinda complicated a bit but yeah i come from the brown world-

who are you?-

[the-experience-eclipse]

wow.. havent- havent said anything in a while here, huh. i thought i have. but-

i have no one to ask (hah, how ironic..), so im gonna ask.. whatever this is. throw a question to the void. i know i will not get an answer.

why. just- why. to all of it.

Jade said we could be friends, we could be a team. i havent seen them once since then. i didnt do anything wrong, i even wrote a book and left it at the base, but- i havent seen anyone since.

that.. is a lie actually. well- sort of. i dont know? i saw one person. im not sure what their name is?- but they only came for the books that i brought. after i announced it. didnt even say a lot. just came for the books. and.. i dont feel like that counts.

is that all i am? only there to be useful? only there to contribute to the resources, the preparation, and then get nothing in return? just to be used?

i wouldnt be surprised, actually. maybe thats what scares me. they were all part of red winter at one point. or associated with it. and.. red winter fucking sucks. theyd do something like that. (not to eachother of course. to me. theyre all either gay or a family. why cant i just have a friend? one single friend-)

ive talked to Kairos a few times. he gave me wool, i gave him useful things. he got 20 ancient debris from me the first time. thats all. maybe i wouldnt immidiately pull a sword on him now... but thats all i am. there to be useful, to supply. not to be a friend.

i know i had the opportunity to talk to them. them all. multiple times. they just dont want to talk to *me*

why?

WHY WORLD, WHY???

[the-experience-eclipse]

another cycle

another finale

another failure

why am i like this

the loneliness is just gonna keep spreading the exp guy is supposed to evolve on experience but it looks like theyve made no progress at all..

what must one do for fate to let them have their moment? what must it do for its effort to be acknowledged, not overshadowed by someone else?

maybe theyre supposed to live in shadow.. the experience eclipse

[the-experience-eclipse]

doubt it.

im not giving you shit this time, youre getting everything on your own.

you keep doing this, you keep leaving me alone, like everyone else. i dont know how you want to redeem yourself but this isnt working.

Oh I hope this works I don't usually send from here- i- anyways-

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be there I really am it just *it won't let me* I'm trying though I swear I am, I'm trying to be there I know I have things to do I'm sorry I don't know why it doesn't let me...

[the-experience-eclipse]

i have no reason to believe you.

ive been doing everything alone. again.

Oh I hope this works I don't usually send from here- i- anyways-

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be there I really am it just *it won't let me* I'm trying though I swear I am, I'm trying to be there I know I have things to do I'm sorry I don't know why it doesn't let me...

[the-experience-eclipse]

GOD DAMNIT

i was the last malachite

i was hunted down by both gods and the entirety of sapphire-

i had so many totems left, if i just got to switch to them quicker enough.. Rael got me before i even noticed

fuck why did i have to fail this

why did i have to fail this AGAIN

[the-experience-eclipse]

yknow how they say how sometimes the end of the world doesnt *feel* like the end of the world?

it sure doesnt feel like it today. i dont know why

obviously its just the end of the cycle, the worlds gonna get remade, but..

i dont know, its weird

i hope it goes well..

[the-experience-eclipse]

so.. we're nearing the end of the cycle huh?

i have.. a lot of stuff- more than a normal person needs. i hope im prepared enough for the final challenge. even though its probably gonna be a team effort, i know im gonna be fighting alone..

suppose 'm just meant to do that arent i?

[the-experience-eclipse]

i was.. out. for a while, i think. Milos fucking fault if i can guess.

the only valuable thing i own in this world is still standing. surprisngly.

i just hope it doesnt happen again. that light prick still owes me an explanation.

[the-experience-eclipse]

but inside.. inside Expyrs feelings are bottled up. they want to cry, want to rest, want to feel happy, want to have someone to talk to, want to have company. but they cant. it cant risk that. they want a hug, they want to feel the safety of a nest, it wants to cuddle with someone.

but that would mean letting go of their bubble. of their mask. feeling something they will regret. feeling comfort. letting their guard down. letting vyrs emotions process.

and that was not something exp could afford.

[the-experience-eclipse]

Expyr is afraid of making any connections at all - not only with things, but with people. Milos betrayal hurt them. a lot. it still hurts. and its gotten Expyrs brain coded onto one way of thinking.

people will betray them if it benefits them. people will use them for stuff just to not be loyal later. so making friends, alliances - its a dangerous game to play.

[the-experience-eclipse]

of course it had to happen again

gods i hate the feeling of the void

why does it keep tearing me apart?

[the-experience-eclipse]

its happening again.. ive been wandering for half an hour? over? now.. probably closer to an hour?

i cant find a stupid end city again- just like last time- why is it happening *again*

its just all empty and endstone and endermen and *void*

[the-experience-eclipse]

so, todays the first challenge, huh

i really hope the ends open today, im ready to be birb again.. and i need shulkers

..why am i even saying this here- not like anyone reads it not here, not on queue

eh.. loneliness is getting to me isnt it

suppose this is like ranting to the void.. i did that during cycle 1, yknow even though i died in it, its still beautiful.. i dont want to repeat the experience, but.. i do want to go to the end again

suppose im all about experience anyway, arent i?