the-complete-history-of-gotham

[the-complete-history-of-gotham]

Actually, Cat Woman was dealing with the kitten's mother who had 5 other babies, so she probably asked Robin to help find homes, anyways my sister is feeding Ash lasagna

that is amazing, do remember that onions and garlic and other ones are no good for kitties.

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wishing spiders a successful strike, may they get everything they want

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I would like to thank Gotham's local Cat Distribution System Manager, Robin, for gifting my sister a cute gray cat for her birthday, she named him Ash

awe! That’s awesome I’m surprised cat woman didn’t pick the stray up already! I hope to hear more about it

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I was recently kidnapped by scarecrow and got wave of his newest fear toxin. It’s safe to say I can’t sleep anymore. So I just started doing Tai Chi since the lady next door said it will help. After doing it for a week I felt like I being watched. Next thing I know Black Bat is showing me what doing i’m wrong and even started doing it with me. Two weeks later i’m able to sleep without nightmares. Thank you Black Bat

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So for Halloween I went out as a gender bent Riddler. I spent two moths working on the costume (I work slow Ok?). Any way I went to a party with my friends in some old Gotham hanger, And guess who shows up? The Riddler himself. I was kind of worried that we would all get held hostage or something, but turns out he is a really chill man. He liked my costume. #onlyingotham #heaskedformynumber #hewantsmetodesignhimanewcostume #happyHalloween #imightbeconsderingdatingavillain.

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I moved out of the country a while ago, but im from gotham. my class went for two weeks on an exchange trip, and I TOLD THEM "we really shouldn't be going. you will not last a day because paris is not like gotham." and they didn't believe me.

well jokes on them because five got mugged (they fine, all got saved by varying bats) AND we got caught in a bank robbery within the first three days.

and now I remember why my parents wanted to move so bad.

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WAIT WHEN DID POLKADOT MAN HAVE A VLOGING CHANNEL???

oh my goodness I must I MUST watch that.

Gotham city memes once again

Happy pride month everyone!!!❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🐈‍⬛

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Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

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Bane is offering his henchmen free tacos, and with the food shortage recently, I *might* join his crew... for a few weeks

honestly just make it known so Batman doesn’t beat the shit out of you.

I briefly VERY BRIEFLY was with twoface he was paying my medical bills, because I won a coin flip thank god I did not get blasted.

but I met up with him a few times so I could well get my medication and shit on a prescription and get a check up and some residual money so I could afford any ambulance visits.

okay? I was broke, and had pneumonia!

basically he took pity on me and I was his driver for a month.

I Made a sticker that was something like “please Batman I just need to pay my medical bills go easy on me I just am driving people”

I had the funniest interaction with robin 3, I was 16 going on 17 and this kid no older than 14 came to the car window tapped on it, saw my sticker and enquired about it.

“So… why are you with twoface?” “Listen man, I’m just trying to not die and also pay my medical bills. I’m almost done anyway, go easy on me. I swear to you I’m just a driver” “hum. Okay I believe you, just know that you’re going to have to run now” “what?”

THEN BANG! Twoface was thrown into the side of the car, I thought I had a heart attack! He’s bleeding I open the door and pull him in and I just DRIVE.

after that he payed me the last bits and I was free to go, thank god.

Funniest and most terrifying thing I swear.

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I’ve been through worse, it does help I’ve been out of the city 18 hours a week.

I work with the meta investigations unit lol.

they enjoy my gothamite charm <3

This is an announcement from Ace Chemicals: please don't mix all 10 containers with Venom at once, it made a liquid that can open portals the the multiverse, Bane has apologized for his mistake, he just wanted to find out if he can make stronger Venom without the memory loss, again, we at Ace Chemicals apologize for months of multiverse madness

well that explains the fires that have been happening!

good to know I haven’t silently been poisoned (yet)

I haven’t super been keeping up on anything since my job takes a lot out of me, THE COMMUTE!!!

but well finally! An answer!

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OH THE FIRES, yeah they were pretty minor still the chemical burn off WAS NOT GOOD.

they lasted for about 10 or 20 minutes both times?

It was probably someone trying to refine something to be honest, they put out the fires as soon as they were done. But yeah it was pretty bad the burn off lingered for quite a while honestly.

This is an announcement from Ace Chemicals: please don't mix all 10 containers with Venom at once, it made a liquid that can open portals the the multiverse, Bane has apologized for his mistake, he just wanted to find out if he can make stronger Venom without the memory loss, again, we at Ace Chemicals apologize for months of multiverse madness

well that explains the fires that have been happening!

good to know I haven’t silently been poisoned (yet)

I haven’t super been keeping up on anything since my job takes a lot out of me, THE COMMUTE!!!

but well finally! An answer!

[the-complete-history-of-gotham]

despite the announcement that Ace Chemicals has accidentally opened portals to the multiverse, Harley is still holding baby Ivy, and I'm starting to think that I somehow missed the birth of Ivy Jr.

honestly I’m just not even going to get into it all, I’m pretty done with all this multiversal traveling nonsense.

Call me when owlman or BWL comes up. so I know when to run, but you know nothing much this is pretty benign.

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new employee of WE here, why are some of my coworkers talking about watching "Demon Bat" conspiracy videos? Is that a thing that happened because I'm checking the records and... Commissioner Gordon himself has made an entire series on this!?

oh yeah, early days Batman was thought to be some sort of meta or creature or something mostly because no one could catch more than a glimpse or even upload photos without them disappearing forever.

so a lot of people started thinking like “oh he MUST be a demon”

it was mostly a convergence of different cultures and Gotham’s folklore that the whole demon thing happened.

some people were convinced he was cursed by a bat demon? To be honest that is the other guy, (who is the patron of a bat demon lol) so I understand the confusion.

so the story goes that he hadTo take a deal to become strong enough to fight for the cities people and safety of Gotham because he’s a tortured soul.

Though that kinda evolved and changed when he joined the justice league and confirmed for the first time ever he was actually human and not cursed or something.

so back on topic, jimmy our man since he had no better ideas just started believing he was a demon as well, it was only about 5 years in when Robin came along that he finally let go of the demon idea. Because he’s very obviously a father to a young child, and just a guy and not a demon.

so while incredibly outdated there is a lot of information on Batman from the early days being a demon, not to mention the league of assassin’s? Who are also kinda doing a demon thing and have beef with Batman for some reason and all of his kin.

There’s a wonderful excerpt in the “complete history of Batman” from jimmy himself where he explains why both he and most of Gotham thought he was a bat demon lol.

“So I was there, a mugger on the ground pummeled; and he was just about ready to take off. I yelled at him to stop and well he didn’t, but he turned around, his face was unsettling as you couldn’t tell what was going on in the dark of night; his eyes though, white and vivid. I felt a visceral sense of fear. Like- I was prey and he was predator, he disappeared shortly after that, and that was my first experience with him. You understand why I thought we all thought he was some kind of demon” -Jim Gordon in the complete history of Batman: chapter 2 page 28

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What should I do after drinking unfiltered Gotham river water?

I’m still slightly radioactive, but not dead

-🐂 bovine anon

Potassium iodide tablets should clear out any lingering radiation. They sell them at most drugstores in the city, but at bodega at 8th and 21st has the widest selection. The FDA found potassium iodide is most palatable when dissolved in raspberry syrup (seriously, there's a study on it), but any drink in your fridge should do. Except Gotham river water. Please stop drinking that.

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it’s filled with horrible stuff, didn’t you see the PSA?

radioactive isotopes, fear gas/toxin, joker gas/toxin, ivy’s poison pollen, lead, toxic algae, and more.

you need to filter, boil, and purify the river water before even sipping it.

This is an announcement from Ace Chemicals: please don't mix all 10 containers with Venom at once, it made a liquid that can open portals the the multiverse, Bane has apologized for his mistake, he just wanted to find out if he can make stronger Venom without the memory loss, again, we at Ace Chemicals apologize for months of multiverse madness

well that explains the fires that have been happening!

good to know I haven’t silently been poisoned (yet)

I haven’t super been keeping up on anything since my job takes a lot out of me, THE COMMUTE!!!

but well finally! An answer!

[the-complete-history-of-gotham]

oh yeah, it’s been out of order for ages. But I think some people have gotten the cult back up and running again.

Batman got indoctrinated into the cult at one point actually, I think you were in bludheaven when it happened actually?

huge deal, they ended up finding hundreds of people in a mass grave in the sewers. It was something, I lost a friend of mine to that cult actually he died. He was just a kid on the streets.

crazy stuff, yeah someone needs to beat some sense into them.

Gothamites, I need date spots that don’t have food STAT

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Tim drake? Why tim drake? He doesn’t have a lick of fighting training at all, maybe some bad basic training from the safety manuals everyone gets once in a while from the mail.

but Red Robin is not Tim drake.

Red Robin is definitely a meta, or something.

So in bat burger "Robin 3" is a shot of expresso and "Red Robin" is a medium cup filled with shots of expresso. Thankfully "Red Robin" is mostly a joke and when someone tries to buy it the employees do everything they can to stop the person from drinking it and having a heart attack.

Except, there are 2 (two) people whom they don't even bother with, 2 (two) people whom drink the "Red Robin" regularly. Those two people are the Red Robin and Tim Drake Wayne.

And I am not saying there can only be one person who can drink that but once you start to look into it it makes sense. Same age, same physic, same hair, they are the samergghjklşi