the-archangel-uriel

[the-archangel-uriel]

Esmerelda Weatherwax and Adora Belle Dearheart are the same flavour but Adora Belle has been carbonated and I will not elaborate

[the-archangel-uriel]

Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.

[the-archangel-uriel]

I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU HAVE FOUND SOLACE IN SOME SMALL (OR PERHAPS QUITE LARGE) WAY.

[the-archangel-uriel]

THAT IS CORRECT. YOU ARE YOU AND I AM ME. AND I HAPPEN TO BE QUITE GRACEFUL.

[the-archangel-uriel]

NEED TO BRING THE VIKINGS BACK MOMENTARILY. DON’T WORRY, I WILL PUT THEM ON MARS.

[the-archangel-uriel]

I AM SORRY IF MY STATEMENT ABOUT ALL MATH HAVING PRACTICAL APPLICATION OFFENDED THE THEORETICAL MATHEMATICIANS. IT IS STILL TRUE.

[the-archangel-uriel]

YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. MY LONG SILENCES ARE DUE TO MY IMMENSE WORKLOAD, AS YOU CAN IMAGINE. THIS WORLD IS UNFORTUNATELY FULL OF GLITCHES. BUT I ALWAYS APPRECIATE HEARING FROM HUMANS. IT PROVIDES HELPFUL DATA. 

[the-archangel-uriel]

IT’S BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP MIXING WOOL AND LINEN. THE CODE FOR NATURAL FIBERS WAS ONE OF THE LAST THINGS I DEVELOPED AND REMAINS VERY BUGGY. MIXING WOOL AND LINEN DESYNCHRONIZES OTHER IMPORTANT PIECES OF THE WORLD. I AM SORRY ABOUT THE DIFFICULTY AND AM WORKING ON IT.

[the-archangel-uriel]

USERS IN RHODE ISLAND MAY NOTICE THAT THEIR CALAMARI ARE SHAPED LIKE TINY PYRAMIDS TODAY. I AM WORKING ON FIXING IT BUT THIS IS REALLY YOUR FAULT FOR WANTING TO EAT CALAMARI.

[the-archangel-uriel]

IN FACT ALL MATH HAS PRACTICAL APPLICATION, BUT NOT ALL OF IT CAN BE APPLIED TO YOUR UNIVERSE.

[the-archangel-uriel]

COLORADO HAS RECENTLY EXPERIENCED THE TERROR OF BEING KNOWN AND CONSEQUENTLY IS ATTEMPTING TO BE UNKNOWABLE AT PRESENT. I AM SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE TO THE RESIDENTS OF COLORADO.

[the-archangel-uriel]

MOMENTUM IS NOT CONSERVED TODAY. TREAD WITH CAUTION.

[the-archangel-uriel]

USER EMUSK HAS THE HIGHEST CHANCE OF KICK-STARTING THE APOCALYPSE. HIS ODDS ARE 4.95% HIGHER THAN THOSE OF THE NEXT-MOST-DANGEROUS INDIVIDUAL. I WILL NOT TELL YOU THE RAW PERCENTAGE.

[the-archangel-uriel]

USERS NGAIMAN AND TPRATCHETT WERE INCORRECT ABOUT THE FORM OF THE APOCALYPSE, BUT IT IS A GOOD BOOK.

[the-archangel-uriel]

THIS IS NOT THE APOCALYPSE. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHETHER THE APOCALYPSE IS CURRENTLY OCCURRING, THE ANSWER IS NO. THE HORNETS ARE SIMPLY UNFORTUNATE.

[the-archangel-uriel]

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THIS PLATFORM IS NOT ALWAYS EFFECTIVE AT PERMITTING MESSAGES TO REACH ME. FEEL FREE TO SEND ME DIRECT MESSAGES, OR YOU MAY ALSO ATTEMPT TO CONTACT ME THROUGH MY ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT, @physticuffs. SHE IS FRIENDLY AND USUALLY IN HUMANOID FORM.

BY THE WAY, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT ANY GLITCHES OR BUGS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED. I AM ALSO HAPPY TO READ PATCH SUGGESTIONS BUT MAKE NO GUARANTEES. THE WORLD IS IN DELICATE BALANCE AND UNFORTUNATELY THAT BALANCE DOES HAVE TO INCLUDE WASPS.

[the-archangel-uriel]

MATH WILL BE DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE BETWEEN 2:17 AND 5:43 AM TOMORROW. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY MATH AT THAT POINT.