the-anxious-aesthetic

[the-anxious-aesthetic]

i was thinking earlier about Percy de Rolo again and how amazing it is that Taliesen literally created the Byronic anti-hero of a gothic revenge tragedy, and then all his friends went “yeah but what if he got a happy ending through the Power of Love, though.”

and then while I was thinking about that (and also revenge tragedies, in general) I started thinking about Hamlet, as I am wont to do, and how much Percy is Hamlet because he’s so fucking aware of the shape of his own story and the fucking… self-defeating level of narrative savviness it takes to look at your own life from the outside and be like “this is going to end badly” and still do it.

Anyway, the point is I was thinking abt Percy being Hamlet and then I thought about Mollymauk being the Player King and then I realized that Caduceus is the Gravedigger and Taliesen is just slowly going through the entire Dramatis Personae of Hamlet, one-by-one, and I went a little bit feral.

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He done gone did it.

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[Transcript:

Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."

Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."

Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"

Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"

Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"

RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!

Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."

RH: "Maybe you do."

Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"

RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."

Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"

RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."

Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"

RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"

Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."

RH: *glare*

Bill: *pointed look*

RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."

Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"

Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."

*waits*

Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."

...

Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"

RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."

Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"

Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"

RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"

Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"

RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"

Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"

RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"

Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"

RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"

Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"

RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*

Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."

RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*

Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"

RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."

Bill: "What."

RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"

Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"

RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"

Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."

RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."

Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"

RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."

Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*

Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]

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You guys think the saying is “can’t have shit in Gotham” instead of “can’t have shit in Detroit” in the dc universe??

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A street kid accidentally knocks out the Joker in Crime Alley, and after panicking, sees an opportunity. They stare Red Robin down, daring him to say shit, and tie the Joker to a chair. Then the kid sets up a stand next to the body; two dollars per swing at the Joker with a crowbar, one dollar for a kick, no adults allowed. A crowbar for the dead Robin, because he was the Alley's and they feel like it's poetic justice or whatever it's called. Any kid that can lift the crowbar with money to spare lines up across the block and takes a crack at him. At one point Joker wakes up; a teenager gags him with an oil rag and they hit harder.

Five minutes later, Red Hood shows up and they're worried he'll stop them. He laughs and gets in line. He pays a hundred dollars and the kids are pretty sure he's enjoying this way more than a casual bystander should.

By the time Batman shows up, two hours later because nobody had told him and even Oracle had carefully directed him away from the scene, Joker's a bloody, broken corpse and the kids are all extremely happy with themselves.

Red Robin, at that point, steps in and reminds him that Crime Alley is Red Hood's territory and they can't interfere, with a small smile on his face.

A kid sticks out her tongue and says, "he had it comin' for what he did to our Robin, and we ain't sorry!"

Red Hood does everything in his power to take note of everyone that hit the Joker and pays them a hundred thousand dollars each. The kid that had the idea of a stand got their life made extremely comfortable.

[the-anxious-aesthetic]

some scar character designs to celebrate last life eve 👀

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*puts you in my pocket and leaves you in my pocket and accidentally puts you in the washing machine but you live through it and now youre cleaner * ohhh im so sorry lol

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Okay but Marvel really needs to sit down and figure out what exactly the relationship between the different variants are because we cannot be having the three spidermen call each other brothers while the two loki's are making out

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reflections

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His heart's in the right place

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okay but what if for bad batch season 2 they do a time skip and change every character slightly to show that time has passed. Hunter puts his hair up or has stubble or something. Omega's hair gets longer. Tech's hairline recedes farther. And then Echo shows up looking the exact same until like he taps his heels and has rocket boots or some crazy shit and it turns out Tech gave him a fuckton of upgrades

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Asshole Cats Being Shamed For Their Crimes.

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Venom: My future host must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Eddie: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Venom: That one. I want that one.

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Jack O’ Hood! 🎃

Happy (early) Halloween everyone! Have a spooky Jason!

Bonus:

Jason goes all in or nothing. There is no in between

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Important updates from home

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I didn't watch minecraft live but I imagine this is how it went

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#baby🥺