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Day 8 on The Whole 30. 

Bring itttttt

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I am in love with my Garmin forerunner. Why has it taken me so long to invest in one? Sven is also the best running buddy ever. He gets excited when he sees the blue running leash and sneakers

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Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out. 

Begin.

If you are a male in a women’s health field, I think it’s safe to say you should be very cautious of how you address certain issues, as well as weight. And to imply that my current job as a server interferes with my weight by “snacking and picking on stuff” and is what caused me to gain weight, I have to question if I were a lawyer would you have implied the same?

I must also ask you to reassess and think “would I say this to the women in my life?” If the answer is no, or you mentally edited your thought process, then I as your patient should have the same courtesies.  

You do not know if the person you’re speaking to just lost x weight and is on their way to losing more. You do not know if that person is experiencing a loss of a loved one. You do not know if that person is experiencing depression. You do not know what’s going on at home or at work that may cause stress. 

You didn’t even ask how active I am or you would have known I’m a runner, an avid hiker, and rock scrambling enthusiast. I lead a pretty active lifestyle, I just gained a lot of weight and it doesn’t come off in a day and I’m trying. 

On top of that, let’s be real ladies- who really wants to go to a gynecologist in the first place? Let alone to be degraded and pin pointing my one very sensitive flaw while my lady bits are being examined by a stranger, albeit a doctor. 

I also want to be heard as a patient, but especially as a person. If I am uncomfortable with the medication you are trying to prescribe me and have voiced my opinion, do not recommend it another three times. The answer will still be no. 

I shouldn’t come home from a doctor's appointment completely upset because of something they said unrelated to my actual problem.

Thorium. Indium. Potassium.

Just Th.In.K before you speak. 

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Every run counts!

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i’m mostly posting this as a reminder to myself, but i think other men struggling with body image or people who are dysphoric about their hips can benefit from seeing this too.

this is part of a body positivity campaign launched by clothing company dressman called #justthewayyouare and if you click that link there’s more body types being represented in their ads.

i have never seen any body positivity for men like this before, marketing ploy or not it DOES help me seeing my body type (wide hips and chub and all) being represented in a public space like this, especially with the word “perfect” attached to it.

i’ve came back to this picture for a while now as a reminder that my body is a valid body, and i hope it will help someone else too.

(credits to @oneflewovergeorgieboysnest for taking this picture and putting it on facebook)

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I love having those days where your body just craves the run.

You have no idea why it is, but you just want to go for a run and not stop. And when you finally get out there, you really feel invincible.

I had that today and it reminded me why I loved the run.

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Well. I’m back up there. I haven’t been this heavy for a few years. What is it? Happy “new” relationships make ya gain weight? Yeah. About that. 

I just need a shit ton of motivation. I keep seeing myself in pictures and I’m unhappy. 

Been here before. The good thing about being here before is knowing I can get myself back. 

It just is really frustrating. 

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Last night I went through my closet and set aside all the things that haven’t fit properly since my weight gain in the last few months... So about half of my closet. It kind of made me sad to visualize how much weight I’d let myself gain. 

Lets be honest: at 25 I have a very healthy relationship with alcohol. But not being active with my body type and stature, you can just see every bump and extra belly on my 4″11 frame. Pretty sure that curling up with a glass of wine in the winter and enjoying a few beers around the summer camp fire, in addition to a lack of physical activity concluded in my current weight.

Back to the clothes. It definitely was something I mentally needed to do. I can’t have a crying fit every time I go into my closet. 

I went on a two mile run today and I just want to focus on health and loving my body. 

Here we go..... 

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Weight loss roller coaster

I have never felt so uncomfortable in my own skin before and I feel like all of my progress.... well I’m back to square one. 

It makes me a bit depressed to see all these beautiful clothes I have that I can either not fit into or have to wiggle into and feel uncomfortable. Then I don’t want to work out in front of people because I feel 100% self conscious. I don’t want to take pictures with family or friends. I don’t even want to really see any of my friends I haven’t seen in a while because I don’t want to look the way I do when we catch up. My very wonderful and supportive boyfriend I think feels a little helpless when he does everything to make me feel beautiful but I don’t feel it myself. 

I love my body, I want to take care of it. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.

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Remember, the feeling you get from a good run is far better than the feeling you get from sitting around wishing you were running. ~Sarah Condor

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Dear Self: It’s a shame how hard you are on yourself. You treat others with more love than you treat you. You deserve to be celebrated too.

Reyna Biddy (via kushandwizdom)