tescont

[tescont]

[tescont]

The good news: you get to pick your new soulmate! (You can define "soulmate" however you want: platonic/romantic/partners in crime/etc. But they will be in your life, constantly.)

The bad news: you don't get to pick where they come from.

Spin this wheel until you get a fandom with characters that you recognize. As soon as you do, stop. One of those people* is going to be a constant presence in your life, whether you like it or not. So choose wisely.

*broadly defined

[tescont]

It's not one is the Orpheus and the other Eurydice, no no no.

Gemma is both the Eurydice (the one being rescued, the one to be followed in) and Orpheus (the one turning around, the one trying so hard to get up).

Mark is both Hades (the jailor, the one needing his wife) and Persephone (the one coming back and forth between the two worlds).

[tescont]

Kidd Gorgeous - Nightfish 

[tescont]

?????? rich people are losing it

[tescont]

No but like, this is the thing about Sam carrying Frodo and the ring up the mountain. It's a cool scene in the movie, but they don't explain what's happening at all. The ring at this point is so heavy Frodo can't even lift his head. It's like essentially a cinder-block he has to carry around his neck. And finally he gives up and Sam offers to carry him and:

DO YOU GUYS GET IT? THE RING IS A BURDEN, BUT FRODO ISN'T. FRODO DOESN'T WEIGH ANYTHING TO SAM. SAM CAN LIFT HIM EASILY!!!! HE'S NOT A BURDEN AT ALL I —

[tescont]

Someone from central or eastern Europe: “yeah my grandparents hoard a lot of food because when they were kids during the soviet era, they frequently didn’t have enough food”

random western leftist: “hm :/ you didn’t provide a university level essay complete with at least 15 citations (approved by me) nor specified what era you were talking about. Yeah I think this is anti-communist, US propaganda :/ you should kys”

[tescont]

when the objectively bad person has traumatic and honestly reasonable reasons for why theyre like that but it doesnt excuse their actions and only serves to make them more tragic as a character

[tescont]

Aaron Wheelz

[tescont]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

[tescont]

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

[tescont]

Rewatching the extended fellowship of the ring compelled me to make this shitpost video of Legolas and Aragorn being besties

[tescont]

It's all easy if you have suitable tools ...

[tescont]

hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

[tescont]

this is my favourite thing ever

[tescont]

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

[tescont]

@importantcatimages