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Zagreus is a war criminal!

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The Pale King is a war criminal!

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Donald Duck (Kingdom Hearts edition) is a war criminal!

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i know im a bit late with this and im coming off the tail end of a super promising run that was absolutely ruined by things i will be discussing later in this essay but basically ive been diong some runs of the hades beefy update and long story short

i hate it and i think it sucks

now dont get me wrong theyve done some things right with this update after doing some runs with all the weapons i can definitely get behind how everything plays especially with the new dash

but at the same time elysium sucks and so does everything in it

ill be covering more of it below the readmore just so i dont plague peoples boards with my incessant commentary

so right away ive gotta get this off my fuckin dome but i just hate elysium

like dont get me wrong i was fuckin enchanted with it when i first saw it

like the color scheme is beautiful the blues and greens and purples are a beautiful contrast to the fuckin horrible nightmare neon green of tartarus and the neon red of asphodel

like the whole color scheme is much more mellow and relaxed and that would be a good thing if it wasnt so fucking hard to see anything in it

like i cant tell if i have some kind of color blindness or what but being real here the neon colors of the first two areas were good contrast for the enemies

like its much easier to see the red enemies in a green background in tartarus and its pretty easy to see anything up against either a red or black background in asphodel

but the problem is that everything is so fucking bright in elysium and even though the enemies are dark theyre so small and also blue and literally i just get hit because i cant see anything

in addition one of the big problems i have with elysiums enemies is that they all move too fucking fast

like it literally just becomes a game of chicken with every fucking enemy type there im not even joking the fuckin shield and spear and sword and bow fuckers are the worst enemies ive ever fought against

the spear guys jump way too fucking fast and their aoe is too big to dodge half the time the bow guys with their shitty reticle thing is so hard for me to see as well and its really annoying when theres like a dozen of them trained on you at the same time and the shield guys just suck like the whole block mechanic is stupid and shouldnt exist in hades the fact that things that block can block aoe if its not positioned right is stupid the fuckin nightmare chariots just run you down and its really not fun to just be dashing around everywhere taking potshots like thats just such a shitty change from how it feels to play in the first two areas

additionally theseus and asterius just suck by the way like asterius is fine to fight by himself but fighting theseus with his stupid bullshit spear and stupid bullshit shield no fuckin way dude ive fought theseus three times now and havent managed to kill him once maybe because im bad but i just had his shield

i just dont know why they include a boss that is always looking at you and cant be damaged when hes looking at you thats not condusive to a fun time

and the fact that shield units can block your godly effects like lightning n shit nuh uh what the hell

sorry thats just me hating on shields for a good bit i had to get that out because i fucking hate shields

now lets get to the fun part thats right its time to me to mention that if you get enough flashy effects in elysium your game just fucking lags out and theres nothing you can do to stop it

so i was running exagryph and picked up some lightning abilities from homie zeus i had the one that makes lightning appear out of my basics and the one that makes them jolted so it was a pretty cool combo

and then i went to elysium and started fighting enemies and my shit would just lag the fuck out

like it would drop to 0 fps what the fuck bro eventually halfway through elysium i closed everything except hades and minimized the screen resolution but that didnt help either

and since theres no way to alter the graphics i was just fucked

fighting theseus is hard enough as it is but its also super hard when you cant fucking move properly but the game continues anyways

oh also audio cues from enemies and your own skills just stop working when you lag like i had grey eyed vigilance which gives you an audio cue when its supposed to run out like some wrath abilities except when i was lagging no dice i would just get hit and couldnt stop it

now i dont know what the collective feelings are on the new update because i dont normally go looking for peoples thoughts on the subject i like playing games without outside interference but hopefully these issues arent just me and like shit gets fixed or made more palatable

but like jesus crust dude im just gonna play some fortnite

ill release something else when they do the new patch which is hoepfully better than this one but thats it for this update

seeya

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Honestly growing up with strict expectations of what I should be as a male felt like a cage, and now that I’m 18 and openly gay and starting to explore myself and how I express myself, I feel so much more confident. I’ve discovered I love wearing makeup and expressing my “feminine”. It feels genuinely natural and I finally feel comfortable. Hopefully someday I’ll be able to make myself look like this without help. Anyway, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t look a certain way because it’s too “manly” or “girly”. Do what makes you comfortable.

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Mike’s Hard Pool Water

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alright another day another hades update

this time its the murder death kill update featuring tetanus the god of death and megaeras two sisters electro and telephone

those are of course not their names but i like being cheeky with it and also something something no spoilers despite their names being on the hades patch notes discord

ive been working this update for like most of the day since it came out and im gonna put some thoughts down on paper before it gets too late and i hate myself because i have a paper due tomorrow

so without further ado my comments on the update will be below the readmore

so right off the bat we got three new characters thanatos alecto and tisiphone

thanatos i only had the fortune of encountering once because im pretty sure he might be asphodel exclusive and ive been punishing myself with heat one twenty runs because i live in hell

i mightve suceeded in the challenge if i wasnt using fuckin exagryph but needless to say i failed and made a spectacular fool of myself to our boy than

alecto and tisiphone are the new bosses replacing megaera who has gone missing for the time being

at least thats the only conclusion i can draw because i havent seen hide or hair of her and nobody even mentions her name outside of like zag once or twice maybe

now since youre all here for my personal opinion because why else would you be reading this tisiphone is way harder than alecto

both have a unique concept and while alecto having her own rage meter is cool more on that later tisiphone literally closing the walls in on you is ridiculously annoying especially when she does four hundred and fifty percent extra damage

moving on to the new boons there are supposedly some new duo boons quote unquote but i havent fuckin caught a whiff of those bad boys

like seriously i havent been looking for any spoilers or help so im just lost like holy fishmoley i wish i could bring some info on those but ive got nothing

also each god has some new rage boon they can give you which you have to activate by gaining wrath which you gain by dealing or taking damage

ive only used three those being poseidon aphrodite and artemis but they all seem pretty cool theyre unique to each god and come with their own ups and downs

aphrodites can literally charm bosses so thats pretty sick

they added some new boons just in general and ive only really seen some new ones for athena but overall hers seem pretty cool with the death defiance stuff i like it the concept is unique

they gave big boy stygius a pretty big buff making it probably my go to weapon currently

they also gave exagryph a buff but as it comes with the downside of making you still while using it and not interrupting attacks from basic enemies i still find it really weak

or maybe im just bad at using it who knows

upon consideration i have completed my list of best to words gods boonwise so from the top to the bottom we got

artemis in first because oh boy do i love damage and crit dionysus second because blight wine is ridiculous especially against that armor thing you put on enemies with the contract aphrodite takes third because i have a special place in my heart for heartbreak strike athena on fourth because i would love deflect if i actually got it more often zeus on five because lightning is cool but not exactly as good of a damage boost as those previously listed poseidon on six because knockback is cool but i like being up close and personal a lot of the time so i dont like it too much and ares takes seven because fuck you ares blade rifts suck

not much else to say for this update i havent gotten around to everything it has to offer yet so im gonna keep digging deeper when i have the time

for now tho ive gotta look into this paper thing i havent even read the prompt yet i should really do that

thats it for this update

seeya

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we rockin the duos win with my homie @myfriendssuckatclue whos playing on mobile the absolute ledge

edit also yeah we are stereopup and stereopupsucks respectively keep scrolling

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Mario is a war criminal!

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first win of season eight featuring my good friend rat joining me up in the top left

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so fortnite season eight just came out and im here to give my first impressions on it because i unironically think fortnite is a pretty good game and i like it so

first of all the ui changes are pretty weird im definitely gonna need a bit to get used to them but they look much more fluid and easy to understand than before so thats nice

its definitely a lot easier for me to see how im doing in regards to everything im doing so thats a thumbs from me

second the outfits look fucking fantastic luxe is definitely the coolest final skin from the ones ive seen so i might actually be inspired to go for the gold this time and keep it one hundred

overall the theme looks really good im a sucker for pirates and buried treasure and the like so this has me super hyped in general

i dont have too much else to say because this is literally like my first impression of it and also i dont normally talk about these but whatever getting my opinion out there

also trying to keep it short just in case people dont care for it while still getting everything i want to say on the paper

but yeah thats pretty much it im gonna stop writing now so i can actually do some weekly challenges

seeya

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alright peeps so i dont use tumblr for anything except shitposting into the void so i dont know how many discussions are out on this site about the silksong trailer and i know im late to the party but like fashionably late thats my thing now get with it

in case anyone wasnt aware and im somehow the first source of information for them hollow knight was a hit game by team cherry and recently came out with the trailer for their sequel game silksong wherein you play as hornet who is a character present throughout the events of the first game

as usual all spoilers will be put under the readmore which i will put up now just to make sure nobody wants to shoot me with a glock for flooding their feed looking at you lads

so initial reaction to the trailer already has me hyped to high hell i mean like the first game is clearly enough of a success for them to release three dlcs and then a new game yknow the results speak for themselves team cherry has done it again

obviously a sad departure from the knight themself but the combat looks to have a lot more depth to it other than the classic dash and slash

not like there was anything wrong with it obviously i love hollow knights gameplay to death but the way hornet moves and her kit looks absolutely incredible

also the soundtrack kicks the atmosphere up to eleven again a huge credit to the cherries i love that shit it gets me so pumped

now as i was writing up the original post i realized i had quite possibly fallen into team cherrys trap of assuming that because the game follows another it is therefore a sequel because as far as i can tell there is no actual concrete visual evidence to betray the fact that the game takes place after the events of hollow knight which i will now dub vanilla knight

i think that the cherries might be trying to pull a fast one on us by proclaiming all of this stuff as new when in actuality it might be a ploy to distract from the fact that it takes place as a prequel chronologically speaking

i think the theory is supported by the intro where hornet is being escorted in either a good way or bad way probably a bad way by some weird buggos and she ends up breaking the f out

it doesnt seem like hollownest either has the manpower and or leadership and or desire at this point to lock up hornet what would they do arrest her for war crimes

additionally upon watching my friend play through the beginning the kings pass has a message proclaiming hollownest as the last great kingdom which says that this quote unquote new kingdom that hornet is gonna explore is either something that pops up after the sign or something that is destroyed before they put that damn thing up

now the weird thing is that near the end of the trailer hornet might be going super saiyan in front of a mask resembling herrah or else one of those deepnest silk weaver fuckers i cant remember the name its almost midnight where i am and im tired

now i could debate past or future all i want but in reality all we need to accept is that this is almost certainly gonna be a dope ass game and i cant wait and neither should you the combat looks sick the music looks baller the story is no doubt gonna be incredible

weve got new friends new enemies new secrets everyone is here its the most ambitious crossover of all of bugkind dont even fuckin at me vanilla knight

i dont have much to say except about the colors of the bosses but like that can be a post for another day to keep the traffic flowing or something

thats it for now hope you all enjoy

seeya

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After reading your Darkest Dungeon 2 post, I see you to are a man/woman/other of culture as well. Dismas is also my homeboy.

aw hell yeah glad to hear it

wonderful to know there are people on this site that cherish the most beautiful face in all of video games

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yo whats up peeps im literally only not talking in all caps because it would ruin my brand but fuckin check this shit out

darkest dungeon two got released and if youre one of the six people that i talk to on a regular basis you wont care but this post isnt for you anyways so i dont care

but hello like this is some fucking groundbreaking shit right here like oh my god im venting at this point but im so excited like come on red hook why do you gotta keep this holy grail so far away from me

so im gonna dissect some of the major points that im really excited for below because i know the people that follow me wont care to read through them

spoiler warning for some events but not all of them just hide your sweet innocent eyes if you dont wanna read it

so first of all the thematic change is incredible we go from some dark and dreary midnight weary edgar allan poe hamlet to some real mountainscape shit

my homeboy dismas looking like hes gonna climb mt fuckin everest with his squad which includes the grave robber occultist leper plague doctor hellion and man at arms

now i dont see my sweet baby boy reynauld there so im not sure if the story is gonna continue with the two of them especially considering some end of darkest dungeon one events i wont spoil

and that of course makes me really sad because im sure a lot of people me included are attached to them an incredible amount like hello theres a reason my name is dismas fortnite on here

but of course the change of scenery looks fantastic and wayne june returning as the narrator is strange again because of end of game events but understandable because you would be hard pressed to find a point of the game that tops his voice

and to segue off of that change of scenery comes a change in the overall thematic storyline which is incredibly exciting

we go from righting the ancestors wrongs to i assume some more righting although this time it is of a wintery variety

but full stop i have no idea what is happening after this especially because i assume it takes place sometime after darkest dungeon one and i assume its in the same universe so i assume we should have stopped the bad shit

and the change from being stationary to more mobile sounds incredible i cant wait to see what kind of npc and town they bring to the table that is absolutely incredible

and to top it all off they mention theyre going to be updating the combat which is huge because the combat is already incredible in some aspects so to see what they do has me actually vibrating in my seat at like mach two

all in all the trailer is incredible i cant wait to cry and reset several times and put another five hundred and fifty two hours into the game because im just a sad sad little gremlin

thats it for now talk to you all later

seeya

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the good times update for hades just came out and i gotta say

my man dionysus out there looking exceptionally hot

like look at this page taken from their twitter holy fishmoley

now im gonna put a readmore while i talk about all the game shit that im sure people i know get bored with listening to

so gameplay wise dionysus is fuckin rockin it

like hes definitely the strongest of the male olympians imo because his blight wine is just huge safe damage if you put it on any ranged attack

in addition hes got just about easily one of the greatest casts in the fuckin game its definitely at least top three alongside aphrodite and artemis

also rockin the coolest support boons out of the entire cast like seriously after party is a really galaxy brain idea

new weapon exagryph is alright but honestly it only seems good for the special damage

i love me some fast attacking weapons thats why i love varatha and hate anything except rapid shot on coronacht but the fact that base you cant even move really puts me off

havent done any runs with it yet im trying to get mad heat for the pact of punishment but eh

also loving the infernal gates as an alternative to normal chaos gates shit gives out some ridiculously good shit and they fuckin took the perfect clear rewards from the normal rooms they went get down mr president and i fuckin love it

infernal gates died for our sins

in residentsleeper news a bunch of shit got changed around tiny bits apparently some artemis boons got reworked because my gal is too fuckin stronk

apparently supergiant is off their shits though because they gave aphrodite a set of buffs like thats fine ill take it but holy shit she does not need it

although to be fair dying lament and unholy fixation arent exactly the best of her skills but still like the only reason im not spamming that fucking rose is because ive got other boons to upgrade

thats pretty much it for this patch but ill keep you lot posted on a more in depth look later

seeya

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Wheatley is a war criminal!

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Chode

oh you think youre some kinda funnyman huh

a real clown

a ramrod straight ass court jester

id turn off fuckin anon if this wasnt getting me the most internet fame ive ever had so you win this round captain cuck