tell-it-ace

[tell-it-ace]

The best way I can describe to an allo person how you feel about sex as a topic as a sex-repulsed or averse asexual is that it feels like a hype that never ends. As though Despicable Me came out and everyone around you was sending minion facebook memes to each other for years to come. The stores are full of minion themed products; they're in ads and your friends talk about them all the time. And deep in your heart you're like "I'm glad that they're able to enjoy something I personally don't like and am not interested in :3". But there is always this little voice in the back of your head that's like "If I have to see ONE MORE of these little yellow FUCKERS today then God help us all." You make an active choice to communicate only the former.

[tell-it-ace]

"u don't know my alphabet" is changing my brain chemistry as we speak i will start saying that every time someone wants me to label my sexuality despite me saying i don't fw that

[tell-it-ace]

they should legalize polyamory. everywhere. and im not kidding at all. if someone wants to marry multiple people they should be allowed to. for any reason.

[tell-it-ace]

its fucking crazy how regularly people on this website who really earnestly consider themselves Radical and Progressive vitriolically mock polyamorous people

[tell-it-ace]

People on tumblr love to emphasize how being disgusted by something doesn't mean that thing is immoral, meanwhile not even thinking about how this goes both ways and an asexual person who is entirely sex repulsed is not the pearl-clutching anti-sex lunatic you need to worry about

[tell-it-ace]

People do not see masculinity as being as fluid and complex and nuanced as femininity and it’s annoying as hell. Because of patriarchy’s stranglehold on masculinity and radfem theory’s stranglehold on queer spaces, people really think with their whole heart that only femininity is subversive or experimental, or frankly, queer, and that masculinity is only a power grab and nothing more. Embarrassing!

[tell-it-ace]

[tell-it-ace]

being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence

[tell-it-ace]

if you're a gay person and your idea of what acceptance looks like is

"gay/trans/intersex people are normal just like straight/cis/perisex people"

and not

"it's cruel and immoral and explicitly fascist to divide the sexual expressions and bodily autonomy of humans into categories of 'normal' and 'degenerate' no matter what context you do it in"

then you probably still need to unlearn some things.

[tell-it-ace]

but like genuinely some people do actually get fucking weird about it and genuinely do seem mad about it. sucks to be you asshole but actually I've had enough people trying to control my hair in wy life so I'm going to grow it as long as i want AND talk about the annoying bits about it.

it's like a trans girl was saying a while ago like "if you even joke about cutting my hair off I'm going to kill you". i stopped going to the hairdresser because i was scared it was going to get cut because I'd grown up with school and family trying to control my hair so fuck off actually.

[tell-it-ace]

WE NEED TO START TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT BIGENDERISM

[tell-it-ace]

as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"

[tell-it-ace]

interested in sex the same way you can be a sports fan without ever playing a single sport

*reading absolute filth and humming thoughtfully* fascinating.

[tell-it-ace]

The queer community is full of hurt people.

This can lead to a knee-jerk reaction when we hear someone else say "I am hurt". We look at them and say "shut up, you're not as hurt as me because you have X privilege".

This leads to femme afab queers being told "you can pass and hide as cishet, you're not as hurt as queer women who look queer, you're just complying with the patriarchy's ideals for beauty, you're hurting the queer community, you're anti feminist."

It leads to masc afab people, whether trans men or nonbinary or genderqueer etc, being told everything from "you're not as hurt, you can pass as a cis man" to "you have no desire to transition, you still look like a girl, shut up".

It leads to trans amab people who are nonbinary or genderqueer or agender etc, who still dress or look "masculine", being told that they are "unsafe" for queer spaces, that they don't belong at a "women and nonbinary meeting", that they are "basically just cis men trying to escape accountability".

It leads to asexuals being told "you don't even feel sexual attraction, the thing we're ostracized for! how could you possibly be oppressed? You're just straight and a prude" and aromantics being told "you're just straight and like casual sex, get over yourself" and both being told "you're just a cishet who wants to steal resources".

I have heard every single kind of queer person say "I have been harmed and ostracized by the queer community". Lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and mspec people, trans people, aroace people - every single one of us has expressed feeling ostracized by our own community.

On the plus side, this means you're not alone. Your group isn't the only one facing this. You have allies!! Other queer people who have gone through what you've gone through!

We need queer unity. We need to stop attacking each other. If you feel the urge to say "shut up, my group has been hurt MORE", go take a walk. Remember that every single one of us has been hurt.

[tell-it-ace]

Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.

So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.

If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!

Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.

[tell-it-ace]

honestly nothing shows the sad and pathetic state of media targeted toward minors better than the fact that inside out 2 does not and cannot introduce "horny" as one of the new pubescent emotions

[tell-it-ace]

I hear California wants to drop gender markers from photo IDs but due to federal laws they have to have something, so their brilliant idea is that they'll still have the "Gender: " field but you can put any letter there.

So if you want M/F for the legacy genders, you can, but you can also do X for non-binary, or any other (latin) letter.

like "Gender: K" or "Gender: Q" or "Gender: V"