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99.9% of bad dog behavior is clearly telegraphed many milliseconds or seconds ahead of time and can be completely prevented if you are just paying attention. they are not sneaky. they will look directly at the bad thing they are about to do as the rusty hamster wheel creaks around and around in their little heads

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thinking about the infantiliztation and/or formalization of 19th-century women's clothing to modern audiences

like

our entire reference point for "wearing long skirts and outfits with decoration like lace, embroidery, appliques, etc." is either formalwear or fictional characters in children's media like Disney princesses. women's clothing is just so radically different now- not that those elements don't exist, but they're much less common in everyday clothing than they once were. some form of simple trousers and an equally simple top are de rigeur for everyday attire, and anything else is Fancy

combined with the fact- which is true! -that a lot of what survives to end up in big museums belonged to wealthy people, this ends up in wild assumptions like "basically our entire idea of what the Victorians dressed like is just Rich People Clothes really"

which has led to the eternal cry of "but what did NORMAL people wear?!?!?!" that will not be satisfied with real examples of middle or even working-class everyday clothing because it still looks too "fancy" to modern eyes

not Victorian, but a great example of this is what Abby Cox wore to portray a milliner (hatmaker) in Colonial Williamsburg. a working, middle-class woman:

(ignore the facial expression there)

this is the exact outfit she sported in a video that apparently got responses like "but that's just what rich women wore!" and it is, in fact, everyday attire for a working person. a person who worked in the fashion industry, it's true, but still

I had someone ask me about how to find examples of casual Victorian clothing because they were at their wits' end trying to research it. and I had to tell them that...what they were looking at WAS casual. in the sense of Clothing For Everyday Wear That's Not Especially Formal. there's nothing inherently formal, or exclusive to the wealthy, about a matched bodice-and-skirt dress, instep-length, with some trim. or even a trimmed blouse and skirt. obviously women working the absolute hardest outdoor, physical jobs might have adopted occupational trousers or similar, but we don't all dress like construction or farm workers all the time nowadays. why would they have back then?

Laundresses, probably 1850s or early 60s. Note that I can STILL date the picture based on their outfits and hair, and these are the furthest things from wealthy socialites.

Maid scrubbing steps, probably 1870s or 1880s. Note pleated trim on her skirt and what appears to be a peplum at the back of her bodice.

also, not all working women worked physical jobs any more than we do today. here is a teacher around the turn of the 20th century:

Teachers, 1887

"Breton Seamstresses," 1845, by Jules Trayer

were there differences in quality, type and quantity of trim, fit, etc? obviously. but some people are convinced that the basic outfit format can't POSSIBLY have been something ordinary women wore, because it looks formal and/or princess-y in a modern context

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So you're pregnant and freaking out a little.

First of all, congrats!

Second of all, have some tips and hacks from someone who found out the hard way.

Yay, I got my two lines! Bun is in the oven! ... Now what?

Research OB/GYNs in your area (that your insurance covers, if applicable). Call one or a few and tell them, "I just found out I'm pregnant. What should I do to establish care?" And they will walk you through it from there.

Sit back and wait. Seriously, it's that simple. Most practices won't see you until you're about 8 weeks-- that's 4 weeks from when your period should have showed up but didn't-- unless you're high risk or something else is Unusual. But they ask you all of that during the phone call. They're on top of it. They do this every day. Ask them all your tiddly little questions and clarifiers about the process. They will help you!

Keep a notepad handy during the phone call. They may give you specific instructions about what not to do or what yes to do (though most places will now email you the fact sheet and instructions after the fact). This will include medications, foods, and lifestyle behaviors (eg, smoking, drinking, extreme sports, etc). Most is easily google-able, though, so don't worry if you miss some things. When in doubt, call them back and ask.

If you're having trouble accessing care because of cost, look into Planned Parenthood in your area. They do obstetrical care in most cases. Also, look into your state medicaid (sorry, this is very US centric). Most automatically qualify pregnant people just based on pregnancy, and you get a special enrollment period as soon as you find out you're expecting. If all else fails, ask the OB practice you want to go to if they have patient financial assistance for those in need. They can hook you up with resources.

Everything hurts and I'm dying (and barfing)

Start sleeping with a pillow between your knees. I don't care if you're just barely in the first trimester, start now. Progesterone is a hormone that your body makes to keep the pregnancy going. It also loosens your joints. You will suffer its wrath at some point. Pillow between the knees keeps your hips and lower spine aligned, especially once you start having to sleep on your side. Just do it and thank me later when you don't have pelvic instability and sacroiliac dysfunction.

"Morning" sickness sucks worse on an empty stomach. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but don't let your stomach get totally empty. Nibble plain crackers throughout the day all day if you must. But if you let yourself get totally empty, not only will you be extra exhausted on top of sick, you're more likely to barf when you do try to eat or drink. Snacks are your friend. Please snack.

Also, room temperature liquid tends to make morning sickness worse, idk why. Try ice water, cold juice, cold Gatorade/Powerade, etc. Some people swear by hot/warm instead, but I've noticed more people respond better to cold. Take little sips, don't chug it. Sip, wait. Sip, wait. Better to be unsatisfied but hydrated than temporarily pleased by the Big Glug and then hurl it all back up.

ALSO also, on the morning sickness note, prenatal vitamins can make it worse. Try taking your vitamin right before you crawl into bed, so you sleep through the queasies.

Oh yeah, if nobody told you, start taking a prenatal vitamin asap! It's basically a multivitamin with extra iron and folate/folic acid in it. If you can't afford the ones that say "prenatal" specifically, just look for a regular multivitamin that has at least 600mcg folic acid. Most important during the first trimester, so get thee to the drug store!

You may start getting heartburn/reflux as early as the first trimester. Again, hormones. Try eating lots of little meals instead of just a few big ones. Also make sure you don't eat within 30 minutes of lying down. And do eat breakfast.

Antacids are your friend, but a lot of calcium will constipate you, which makes heartburn and indigestion worse. So try fewer Tums and more Pepcid. Also, for those who can handle the Texture, algae-based acid relief exists. "Sodium alginate" is what you're looking for, and it usually comes in a gooey paste that you swallow by teaspoonfuls. RxGourmet is the brand my husband swears by, and it doesn't taste half bad. (I just can't handle it anymore due to a Sickness Incident that has forever associated the feeling of it with vomiting, so now it triggers my barf button.)

People are going to tell you to follow the BRAT diet and drink milk. Do not do this until the barfing period is past. Rice barf and milk barf are the worst, and you will regret everything that led you to that point. Toast, applesauce, and bananas are fine, but for your own sake, no rice.

Call your doctor immediately if you suspect you're getting dehydrated, or if you start losing significant weight due to puking/not eating. (More than a few pounds.) There are safe anti-nausea meds to make life more bearable. You may also have something called hyperemesis gravidarum, which is when your body freaks tf out about pregnancy and makes you violently ill to the point that you start injuring your internal organs. This is usually marked by extreme nausea and vomiting where you can't keep anything down (even water) and lose at least 5% of your body weight. It's dangerous, and miserable. Seek help. Don't try to tough it out.

Nothing fits anymore and I feel like a whale stuffed into spandex

Pregnancy/maternity pants come in two varieties-- stretch panel/under-bump and full panel/over-the-bump. Do your back a favor and get the over-bump ones. They provide a bit of extra support to the belly. Plus the under-bump ones are gonna suck if you have a C-section.

On that note, you will be in maternity/pregnancy clothes for at least a little while after you have the baby. The uterus doesn't go back to normal size for at least 6 weeks, and your belly muscles will take longer to tighten back up. So yes, invest in some comfy clothes, you're gonna be in them for a while.

Best place to find maternity/pregnancy clothes is your local thrift store or online marketplace. Facebook marketplace in particular can be a great way to get a lot for cheap, as people usually offload their stash in big lots instead of piece-by-piece.

Sizing on pregnancy clothes mostly follows regular sizing, so don't worry about sizing up just yet. If you usually wear a large in regular pants, get the large in the maternity pants. They account for belly and for weight gain + widening hips. So start with your normal size.

The exception to this is in bras. Save yourself some grief and go straight for nursing/maternity bras. They are more supportive and comfortable for growing boobs than regular bras, and designed to take a beating. They also tend to have more stretch, and more clasp/band width options. So even if you don't plan to nurse afterward, they're still a good investment.

On that note: Your boobs are probably going to start growing in the first trimester and not stop until the baby is out. They just get eager. Pick a bra that has some leeway in the band/clasp area, and pick it the opposite as you would a regular bra. By that I mean start with one that fits on the tightest or next-tightest clasp. That way you have room to let it out as you grow and you're not stuck re-buying every two months.

Last bra/boob note: sleep bras exist. They're like looser/comfier sports bras. They will save your dang life. Just get a sleep bra and thank me when you aren't waking up in pain and with your boobs trying to smother you in your sleep.

I'm so darn tired and also now I waddle

Nap, dangit. You're growing a person. That's freaking hard! Take the nap. You're not pathetic. I give you blanket permission for naps (as long as you're not driving a vehicle at the time), and I'll fight anyone who tries to shame you for it. Go take a nap.

Similarly, a lot of places (like doctors offices and grocery stores) have parking spots reserved for expectant parents and those with small children. Use them. Even if you think you're not showing enough or not as bad off as someone else, if you need that spot, use it. I give you permission. It's for you. Save yourself some steps if you're exhausted.

Get supportive shoes! Those flats and flip flops might feel comfy at first, and putting on regular socks and shoes sucks as time goes on, but your back, hips, knees, and ankles will thank you for some actual support. If you haven't, now is the time to find a pair of tennis shoes/sneakers that have decent arch and ankle support. Also with adjustable laces so you can work with the swelling in late pregnancy.

And ditch the heels! Remember how those hormones loosen your joints? It makes you clumsy and prone to twisting and spraining ankles. In later pregnancy, you'll start swelling/retaining water in your extremities, and heels exacerbate that for your feet and ankles, which are usually hardest hit. Just save the cute heels for after baby is here.

I'm scared to eat/take/do anything because I heard you can't do any of that during pregnancy and now I'm sad

You actually can still have tasty food! Sushi is not off limits, it's just sushi that contains raw fish. If your sushi is full of veggies and cooked fish (or no fish at all), you're good to go! Just make sure it hasn't been sitting out at room temperature for hours and hours. Shrimp, fish, shellfish, you name it-- as long as you're not allergic to it, and it's cooked, go for it. You don't have to give up delicious seafood and sushi for baby.

Basically, when in doubt, cook it. Most of the unsafe foods are just foods that could harbor bacteria, and cooking will fix that. So lunch meat, hot dogs, steak, fish-- all safe when cooked to a bacteria-killing temperature. [BTW- The REASON for this is because your immune system is suppressed during pregnancy so it doesn't attack the fetus as foreign. So what may not bother a normal person (bacteria on raw fish, rare steak, or unheated lunch meat) becomes more likely to affect you. You're immunocompromised during pregnancy. That's why all the food rules.]

There's not a lot of pain meds that are proven safe in pregnancy, which really sucks because pregnancy is when you get all kinds of ouchy, but Tylenol is fine. Also some topical creams and patches, like menthol products and lower-dose capsaicin (icy hot). Just watch out because your skin gets sensitive, and you may discover you react to things now that you didn't before.

You don't have to stop doing sports or physical activities just because your pregnant. Some may need to be modified, but as long as you're not going from never-ran-in-my-life to gonna-do-an-iron-man while pregnant, you're fine to keep going with life as usual. Just slow down a bit to make sure you're taking care of your joints, and look into supportive gear. But if you're a runner, keep on running. If you lift weights, keep on lifting.

You can still have your Dr. Peppers and coffee. Just cut back if you usually get more than 200mg of caffeine a day. 200mg is the upper limit of what we know to be safe during pregnancy, which is about 12 oz of coffee, or 3-4 caffeinated sodas.

That said, caffeine will absolutely increase heartburn, so if you're dealing with that, try to stay away from caffeine.

There will come a point where you're not allowed to sleep on your back or stomach anymore, and it may come before either of those is actually uncomfortable or impractical. It's worth practicing early so you don't end up hitting that limit and being suddenly unable to sleep how you always have and not knowing how to get comfy. Try it for a few minutes each night until it gets more comfortable/natural. [Note: that time is generally around 20 weeks but it can be earlier based on your individual health and how your pregnancy is going, so please consult your doctor if you're wondering.]

Wtf do I actually need to prepare for receiving a tiny human being in x-number of months?

A lot of this is going to depend on how many months it is until the tiny human arrives. For the first 3-ish months, not much: just take your vitamins and try not to freak out.

Starting around your midway point (20 weeks, or when you typically get your first big ultrasound), start collecting a list of things you don't have but will require to house the infant safely. To figure out what those things are, imagine someone was going to hand you a baby to sleep over at your house for a week. What would you want the parents to provide? A sleep space (crib or bassinet), a place to change diapers, some diapers and wipes, food for it/means to feed it, some extra clothes, and a car seat in case you have to drive somewhere. These are your bare essentials. But! Important part: do not buy them yet!

Somewhere around the midpoint, people may start talking to you about a baby shower. Many of us were raised with the idea not to make a fuss or be needy, but this is when you should allow people to fuss over you. Babies are expensive. Let the people in your life give you stuff for that expensive baby. Accept the party, even if you hate parties. Let your in-laws or cousins invite a bunch of their friends who you don't really know but have met a couple of times. This is a shameless supply grab and it's perfectly culturally and socially acceptable (at least in Western cultures), so milk it. By that I mean, even if it grates, let it happen. You will get so much of the stuff you need. It's worth the torment of a few hours of people cooing over you. Case in point: I didn't know over half the people who ended up at my baby shower, but we walked out of there with everything we needed, including a crib and car seat (which are big ticket items!), and over a month's worth of diapers.

On the note of baby showers, this is kind of why you should talk about your pregnancy to people in your life. At some point, it's pretty likely that one of the women you talk to will ask if anyone is planning you a shower. Be honest. If the answer is no, tell them. Someone's auntie senses will start tingling and they'll mobilize everyone they know to make it happen.

Plan your baby shower for the third trimester, but NOT month 9. Leave a cushion. Don't be that person who is in labor at their baby shower (happened to a friend of mine, and she did not have a good time). Plus you want time to get stuff together afterwards once you see what others have graciously gifted you.

Amazon, Walmart, Target, and a bunch of other major retailers have functions on their websites to allow you to make a baby registry, which is a list of items and ideas for potential gift givers/shower goers. Go wild with this. It's a wish list, treat it like one. Don't worry about it being too expensive-- not everyone will buy directly from the registry, but they will use it as a guide to know what you're in need of. You can even write a personalized message for the top of the registry saying something like "These are just ideas so I can keep track of what I'm still looking for; pre-loved or secondhand items are also lovingly accepted."

Once your shower is done (or if you don't have a shower for whatever reason), you start collecting whatever bare essentials you don't have. Again, these are things like a crib or bassinet, an infant car seat (if you plan to take baby in a car ever), basic clothing, and diapers. Really, everything else can wait if it has to, but baby needs to sleep, be transported, and be clothed/diapered. Everything else can be ordered for pickup or delivery after baby gets home.

Speaking of diapers: Don't buy up a bunch of newborn diapers! One package is fine, but most babies don't stay in newborn (usually labeled size NB) for long. And you can also just cut an umbilical cord notch in the size 1/tiny size diapers to make them fit. So if you plan to buy diapers in advance, buy mostly size 1 with just a few NB.

For clothing: you want at least a week's worth of clothes, and plan for about 2 outfits a day. These do not have to be fancy, because ideally you're not leaving the house with baby much for the first few weeks. Plain onesies ("vests," I believe they're called in Britain) and basic footie jammies/layettes are fine. Similarly to diapers, most babies don't stay in size newborn for long. Size 0-3 is a better bet. Might be a bit big at first, but better too big than unable to squeeze into it after only a week. Then when baby arrives, you can order online more of what you need based on what people have or have not given you (and once you see how fast your nugget is growing and sizing up).

For finding a crib and car seat, again check thrift stores and Facebook Marketplace. Just make sure you're picking safe models (no drop-side cribs or rocking bassinets), and that the car seat is within it's manufacturer's expiration date. Most car seats expire 5-10 years from date of manufacture. If you can't find the date stamp AND the model name/number to cross check, don't buy it.

This is all a lot and I'm scared.

I know. But you know what else I know? It's going to be okay. It is a lot, but you can do this. Even if no one else has your back, I'm here for you. Message me.

Tell your doctor if you start having any new or changing anxiety or depressive thoughts/symptoms. Everyone talks about post-partum depression, but antenatal/antepartum depression is also a thing. There are safe medications, and getting a handle on it now is so much better for you and baby both.

Pregnancy is also when a lot of people experience domestic violence for the first time. It is never okay for your partner to hit or hurt you, nor for them to make you feel trapped, isolated, demeaned, worthless, controlled, or helpless. Your OB can and will give your resources. Pass them a note during your next checkup if you have to, or leave it in the bathroom in the urine sample window if you really can't get a moment without your partner. (Just make sure the note has your name and phone #/info on it.)

Anyone else with advice, feel free to chime in! I know this is long already, but a lot of people never get told this kind of stuff, so I wanted to be thorough. If you have questions, feel free to ask!

Deep breaths, my friend. It's all going to be okay. <3

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To his never-ending embarrassment, Glen was given the lowest gargoyle assignment because he has a fear of heights.

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Someday I'll talk about why city of Atlantis is such an iconic film (along with other old Disney films) . Its unique because the artists based their designs and acting off of real people with authentic personalities. Problem with shows nowadays is artists base characters and stories off of things they've seen on cartoons and anime, not on actual events or human interactions.

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Met this lady on a hike recently, and she reminded me autumn is close

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hey. listen. when you use too much detergent in your laundry you aren't making your clothes cleaner, you are making them degrade faster. the machine isn't able to rinse out the entire cup of soap you put in, so some of it is left in the fibers of your clothes. when they dry this makes the fabric stiffer and more brittle, so the fibers are more likely to erode and break. over time this makes your clothes wear out much faster than if they were properly rinsed with minimal soap. you are wasting money by overusing detergent, not just on the detergent itself but the clothes you are shortening the lifespan of.

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IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it

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how to draw arms ? ? 

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OK BoYS AND GIRLS BIG NEWS

The bakery I’ve been making brown sugar brownies wants to BULK ORDER from me. Long story short this will help me bring $600 a month in, in CASH.

BUT with this influx of business for me I really need to purchase ingredients. I need a 50 pound bag of brown sugar, a 5 gallon tub of flour and a bottle of vanilla. This will cost roughly $150.

DOES ANYONE WANT SOME SHIPPED BAKED GOODS? I’m not even kidding! We are sitting at about $600 rn after first of the month bills + rent so I can’t really take a chance and spend that much out of pocket rn. BUT I WANNA WORK. I need this money bad because this will FINALLY be my big break! He’s ordering multiple pans a week!!

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Things almost every author needs to research

How bodies decompose

Wilderness survival skills

Mob mentality

Other cultures

What it takes for a human to die in a given situation

Common tropes in your genre

Average weather for your setting

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don't care + running + jumping + skipping + hopping + having fun + playing

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People who try to copy historical writing styles don't say enough weird stuff in them. I'm listening to a 1909 story about a ghost car right now, and the narrator just said he honked the car horn a bunch of times, but the way he phrased it was "I wrought a wild concerto on the hooter".

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people NEED to stop gatekeeping making music like ohhhh i don’t have an instrument ohhhhh i don’t know music theory ohhhhh i’m not gonna pay for some program. SHUT UP. take my hand.

you need NONE of that shit!!!!! there’s a website called beepbox.co. literally all you have to do is press things until it sounds a modicum of nice. it’s easy it’s free and it works on anything which has a browser because it’s a website.

if even ONE person starts making music bc of this post it will be worth it.

making bad music is just as important and okay as it is to write badly or draw badly or sing badly. you AREN’T BEHOLDEN TO MAKE GOOD MUSIC. making music is not utilitarian HAVE FUN. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!