closetgirl0819

[closetgirl0819]

12 / 14 / 2024 - Regrets

One of my biggest fear is losing you. So, I came to decide that losing you while we're still in love with each other was the best decision to make. Stupid, isn't it? I thought it would be fair for both of us... Instead of waiting for the time where one of us will lose interest, and will cause immense pain to the one who's still holding on, better to end it while we're both in love so we can suffer together. Am I selfish and insane?

Well, I eventually went on with the break up. And I thought I could handle the pain. But it was unbearable. I still keep checking my phone, hoping that her name might pop up, and ask me to stay. That did not happen.

I don't wanna make this long, but we actually got back together after 2 days. I just can't handle not being able to talk to her. I always miss her. I know, I made a huge mistake. I know I'm not in the right mind for doing such thing. And I know some of you might think badly of me, and that I don't deserve another chance. But I'll try my best not to do the same mistake again.

If you truly love someone, never hurt them intentionally. Cherish the moments that you have together, and stop thinking about the possible negative scenarios that might happen in the future. Don't overthink, that will only make things complicated. The important thing is the present. As long as she's still there, never let go and take good care of her. She deserves love, not heartaches. We all do.

[closetgirl0819]

11-17-24

A day to remember.

Living 200 kilometers from each other is definitely challenging. You don't get to see each other all the time, but that doesn't mean you can't. No matter how far you are from each other, if you believe in seeing each other at the right time, eventually it WILL come true. It may not be today, or tomorrow, or the next day, but it will happen.

Happy to see you today <3

By the way, long time no post. I'm back.

[closetgirl0819]

Area 51 escapee

[closetgirl0819]

It’s sad but, I’m also really good at it...

[closetgirl0819]

So guys, is it weird that whenever I drink coffee instead of staying awake, I get really sleepy?

[closetgirl0819]

That feeling when you thought you’re the one always adjusting for someone just to match their taste or mood, but in the end, you realize that you’re the one who’s difficult to hang out with and always causing problems.

[closetgirl0819]

💔💔💔

[closetgirl0819]

I feel like my hands are slowly going numb... like literally.

[closetgirl0819]

I haven’t been active on tumblr for a very long time... but hey! I’m back.

[closetgirl0819]

Should I keep holding on?

Everything became dark since the day I came to your life, I thought your life would've been much better if I became a part of it, but I was wrong... everything is falling apart, you were once having a normal life, then suddenly I opened the door to your heart and I ruined everything... you became a mess. And I'm here enjoying what we have, but not knowing you are slowly suffering because of me. I thought that I would make your life much easier, but I was wrong all along. Do I even really love you, for I am still holdin on to you? Even though I know that I will only be a hindrance to your better future? Am I only doing this for my own happiness? I'm so confused, and I dont know what choice should I choose.

[closetgirl0819]

Go! Dont let anyone try to bring you down!

Hey loser you should kill ya self better off without a freak

Maybe the whole world would be better off without your negativity the way you hide behind an anonymous comment and tear others down because of your own insecurities i feel sorry that this is how you cope. But guess what? I am a fucking freak. I’m a suicidal depressed freak and I continue to have plenty of people who rally around me to show me support unlike you. SO please, If you have a problem with me, here’s your solution, Get off my blog, Because nobody ever said you had to come here, And, even if I did kill myself, you’d be just about the only person in this fucked up goddamn world who would get any joy out of it. You would live with that everyday, knowing you were responsible for somebody’s death. I have police in my family that can track your IP Address, so I suggest you stop making anonymous comments telling people to kill themselves and find a different way to be happy. Goodbye.

[closetgirl0819]

Preach gurl!

How can some straight women do 95% of the housework and childcare with little to no help from their husbands and still wonder how two women could raise a child together?

[closetgirl0819]

[closetgirl0819]

Be who you wanna be.

One of the hardest thing in life is not being able to be someone you want to be... you dont want to reveal your true self because you're scared that people might judge you and not accept the true YOU... nobody's perfect, no matter how many people you think would actually support you, there will still be someone who will oppose. But nevertheless, life is short, so live your life to the fullest and forget about the haters, it's your life so do whatever you wanna do as long as it's not something that will ruin you. You may be feeling down right now, but someday, somehow and somewhere you will be able to find true happiness.

[closetgirl0819]

I miss you so bad.

[closetgirl0819]

Overthinking

Time check: 3:00am

So yeah, here I am again... I've got work today but I'm still wide awake, and I don't really know why... I actually wanna sleep but the power of not wanting to sleep is much stronger... here I go again with my nonsense.

[closetgirl0819]

Words I wanna say to her: “If you found new love, I’m hoping that you would actually tell me… please, don’t leave me hangin’, okay?”