tatertotsbae

[tatertotsbae]

The end of my DMATMOOBIL journey.

756 hours average of work ⏳

148 memes 🤡

42 artworks 🎨

2 years of obsession 🗓️

1 story 💛

Thank you for sticking with me throughout this insane project!

[tatertotsbae]

Auror Malfoy ffs is my Roman Empire I swear

[tatertotsbae]

When you read multiple fanfics of the same couple. It feels like they’re soulmates who find each other in every universe, no matter the circumstances.

[tatertotsbae]

but i am sick of climbing / i am sick of crawling on hand and knees and scraping myself along the ground / i am sick of self-help skills and persistence and patience / i am sick of pushing myself and burning out and thrashing about hopelessly / i am sick of being a goldfish in a hot pan / i am sick of reinventing myself every season / i am sick of this feeling / i would claw this out of me if you gave me a sharp enough object / i am sick of feeling unsafe around sharp objects / i am sick of never finding an object sharp enough

i wish you knew the answer and could tell me and pour it down my throat until i gagged on it / i made my therapist cry when i said i had a lacking in me / i told her that a train could drive through the spaces i put into myself / the lacking is what does it, not the wanting, the lack, the dullness / barely-breathing with my teeth clacking in the cold water / it's the same fucking bridge it's the same dream and the same stupid kid / i wish sometimes i had drowned in that pool / i wish i had been different, not even that it was easier but just that i had enough strength to endure it / i wish it went away / i wish i had one good fucking reason

[tatertotsbae]

do u like to draw?

[tatertotsbae]

Art by Enze Fu

[tatertotsbae]

something about loving someone is giving them the power to break your heart and hoping they will not use it

[tatertotsbae]

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

[tatertotsbae]

skeleton dancing all night

[tatertotsbae]

how it feels to launch an adobe application

[tatertotsbae]

Just a little longer, just a little further... Then, you can rest, I promise.

[tatertotsbae]

In a Graveyard

Digital painting

[tatertotsbae]

devlog 01.

I started reading books about game narrative design. The other day I made a pixel artwork, which in turn made me want to make low poly 3d artwork, which in turn made me want to make a simple itch.io game. Haven't been able to get the idea out of my head ever since and I do wonder if it'll bring me joy.

Well, the word "dev log" itself makes it seem like you're working on something important, you know? Here, have a cute update on this creation in which I have poured my whole blood, sweat, and tears into! sort of stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm making coherent sentences. Do they pair up nicely with my incoherent thoughts?

[tatertotsbae]

Koi Nobori Encre noire sur papier Moleskine (10 x 15 cm) Œuvres disponibles à la vente chez Inventaire (Paris) Koi Nobori Black ink on Moleskine paper (10 x 15 cm) Pieces available for sale at Inventaire (Paris)

[tatertotsbae]

it is insane how people do just . not know what objective is. like if you are trying to argue there is some objective difference between “good art” and “bad art” and your first argument is that “well objectively good art makes people feel good and bad art makes them feel bad” you . have no clue what art is. and also have no clue what objectivity is.

[tatertotsbae]

Secret Bedroom!

[tatertotsbae]

i want to make the best of my time. i want to make the best of my life. there's a lot of things i need to sit down and ponder on. but even more things to act upon.

the life i want... i will make it mine.