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this is so positive

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Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

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It’s that time of year again

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I FOUND IT GUYS I SPENT HALF AN HOUR LOOKING FOR THIS VIDEO AND ITS HERE

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Why would anyone want to consume it!?

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omfg my mom dropped her iphone in the toilet so she fished it out and desperately yelled ‘SIRI I DROPPED YOU IN THE TOILET WHAT DO I DO’ and siri replied ‘Tara, you have 28 events in July. That’s a lot.’ and then died

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“...hold up, just how thick do you think records *are*?”

Carl the Animator: “I’m a millennial, so sue me!”

Ted the Animator: “That’s, like, a solid inch of vinyl. Wouldn’t be very practical at all.”

Carl the Animator: “…wait, so that’s the thing you take issue with?”

Carl the Animator: “Not Shaggy doing this?”

Ted the Animator: “Nuh-uh. Audiophile accuracy overshadows Shaggy stances.”

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Is no one gonna talk about how David lifted and entire tree? A tree bigger than him? A whole ass tree??

How strong is David???

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things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

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There’s video games where i feel like I am the character, and then theres video games where I feel like I’m taking care of the character. Know what i mean 

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Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun