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5/12/21

The High Priestess RX & King of Cups RX

Secrets, disconnected from intuition, withdrawal and silence

Self-compassion, inner feelings, moodiness, emotionally manipulative

Bottom of the Deck: Eight of Cups: Disappointment, abandonment, withdrawal, escapism

Blue| Intuitive| Feminine Discipline| Emotionality

You may feel disconnected from yourself, your wants and needs and you may be withdrawing due to feeling especially emotional or moody today.

alternatively, a water sign male may be hiding something from you

this causes great disappointment

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BLACK LADY

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I Origins ( 2014 ) 

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animated artwork by artceae

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8/28/19

Today I woke up anxious, I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach.  This feeling of unease has been catching me quite often as of late.  Somedays it is easy to ignore, or at the least to push it aside.  Others it seems to tackle me down.  One second I am looking forward and the next I feel my head slap against the water so violently it makes my ears ring.  My equilibrium is off, I feel as if I can’t fight back, I am being held under water.  I gasp for air on those days and sometimes I want to give up.  Those are the days where I fear death, when I feel my body is destroying itself so I don’t have to do it consciously.  My brain short-circuits and sends signals throughout my body that feel as if I am undergoing cardiac arrest.  The monsters in my head are loud today and when I asked them if they would quiet down they only got louder.  Is this hyperacusis?  Or am I so withdrawn that I can’t decipher if this incessant noise is outside of myself or not.  This is the point where I feel the need to act out.  Nothing feels real anyhow so I find this unnecessary need to keep life interesting.   Occasionally, I think of the neurons in my brain as rebellious teenagers, purposely playing hooky on the days where I need them to make sound decisions.  The lack of communication in my frontal brain leads to poor choices.  Yet, when they are confronted, they just continue with their chaos.  It takes a lot of outside help to get enough truant officers to pick them up and get them back in line.  But then again maybe I am making excuses for myself, pretending that my body and brain are separate.  That my consciousness and my actions are not mutually exclusive.  Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve fooled myself.  I don’t even know who I am anymore.

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“How are your grades?” “What are you majoring in?” “Have you got a girlfriend?” “What do you want to do when you graduate?”

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Some photography yesterday

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April 4, 2019

General Reading

Card of the Day

Today’s card of the day is the Lovers. The Lovers is a major arcana card which points to an important arc in one’s personal journey. The Lovers is the sixth card of the major arcana and 6 in tarot relates to harmony, nostalgia, reminiscence and compassion. The 6’s also point to leaving or embarking on a quest. The Lovers card depicts a couple standing upon a mount covered in Lillie’s to symbolize fertility, above them doves carry the man’s crown. The woman is carrying her own and the couple is locked in a union of their souls. Each person is carrying a red ribbon to symbolize the red string of destiny. This union is more than just a regular relationship. On the mount we also see a snake carrying an apple. This card symbolizes a relationship similar to that of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Their love will be tested, the harmony does not come without struggle, the balance of energies within this sacred bond. There is stained glass showing a sun above them and an engraving of acorns on the wall to symbolize a relationship needing to grow and take its time as a tree does. The Lovers symbolizes a romantic relationship most often but it does not need to be. When we see the Lovers card for the card of the day it can show us that we must balance the masculine and feminine energies within ourselves. To balance the polarities that occur within our own bodies. This card shows choices and consequences there is a distinct difference between the innocence of the doves and the devilish temptations of the snake. If this card is symbolizing a relationship in your life it is likely showing that of a twin flame. The relationship that mirrors your faults and your strengths. The relationship that will make you grow the most. The choices you make to balance yourself or this partnership matter immensely. Think about your motives, are you in love with the idea of being in love? Is this relationship whether outside of ourselves or not grounded? Are we often falling to temptation? The man is kissing with his eyes open is he scared to fall? Is your logic telling you that you can’t be or create or feel something that your heart tells you is possible? Some things to think about today is how we can balance ourselves and our relationships. If we meet someone today beware that you may be in for a bumpy ride. If the word twin flame spoke volumes to you I would do my research today. The Lovers card has an astrological association with the sign of Gemini, Gemini is a mutable air sign and therefore you may need to become adaptable today and communication is key. I hope you all have a blessed day. Namaste.

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April 3, 2019

General Reading

Card of the Day

Today’s card of the day is the Eight of Pentacles. The number Eight in numerology resembles the sign of infinity, the balance between the spiritual and physical world we live in, great internal progress, and learning something valuable. Pentacles relate to things in our physical life, our time, money, and resources. In this card, the Eight of Pentacles shows a depiction of a spider weaving an intricate web, shining on the wet silk we see what looks like stars. The spider works very hard to weave this delicate web, taking time to work out the details, creating a palace for himself where he can live and eat peacefully. The stars symbolize following a spiritual nature, an instinct, a feeling. The Eight of Pentacles is all about mastery, apprenticeship, learning a valuable skill and seeking knowledge and understanding. When we receive this card we are reminded of what skills we are working hard on daily. The reason we have to put 110% into the things we want to manifest into our lives is because we need to be confident in our skills and ourselves. Are you putting in the work needed to gain that sense of confidence in yourself? Work is a valuable thing and when we don’t take advantage of the power it can bring us to be engaged and active then we lose the lackluster that it should bring us. Don’t just try to deal with the work you have to do but fully engage yourself in it and recognize that when you value what you are doing others will follow you. If you want to be a leader today submerge yourself in a project and learn all you can about it today. Do not fall into the mentality that you know all that you have to learn about a skill. The student never stops learning. You may also be looking at schools or classes today to advance your education. This card is a sign that you are taking a step in the right direction. The Eight in this card shows a balanced approach to your workflow. Be careful not to burn oneself out. Think about how your skills or work can contribute to society in a larger scale. This card’s astrological association is the Mutable sign of Virgo. Mutable signs are adaptable, flexible and diplomatic in their approach to others and tasks. Virgo’s are perfectionists, they strive on hard work and learning skills so they can help others with such skills. Whatever task you are given today give it your all. Appreciate the success you will gain by truly putting your head into your work. In the theatre we strive to see a character get what they’ve been striving for, imagine you are center stage and everyone is waiting for you to accomplish your goal. The universe has your back today. Have a blessed day. Namaste.

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I know I need a lot of work but here was some skull study yesterday in school

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April 2, 2019

General Reading

Card of the Day

Today’s card of the day is the Sun. The Sun is a major arcana card which points to vital arcs in ones life. The Sun card is card number 18 which is 9 in numerology (1+8=9 ). 9’s in tarot and numerology are related to a sense of attainment and the completion of a cycle. The alchemists believe 9 to have the power of the uroboros, the famous depiction of a snake ( or a dragon) swallowing oneself in the shape of a circle to symbolize infinity or wholeness. The sun very much relates to feeling complete. The Sun card in the Shadowscapes Tarot Deck depicts a winged man riding upon a large bird surrounded by other beasts of flight. The man is looking towards the sun and there is a ring resembling a large halo or an expanded energy field that is reaching towards the sun. The Sun card is a card of vital energy, confidence, blessings and enlightenment. Perhaps after a day of purging yesterday, the sun card arrives today to present a positive force for you to ride along. Signifying health and healing the Sun card comes up after a period of being in the dark so to say. After one has spent some time internally to grow and reflect one has the ability and the confidence to rise above and show oneself fully. Today you will feel a renewed sense of purpose and a clear vision towards your goals. The birds on the card symbolize your ideas taking flight. Be sure to watch for synchronicities surrounding birds today, looking for its animal totem meaning. Also look out for feathers left for you! Give gratitude towards the life force energy that is propelling you towards your greatest goals. For those looking for a sign to start a family the sun is a very positive card in that regard as it’s ruling star is the Sun which rules over the sign Leo. The astrological sign of Leo rules the house of children. Today will be a productive day and you will feel that the universe is helping you carry out your mission. Have a blessed day. Namaste.

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APRIL 1, 2019

GENERAL READING

CARD OF THE DAY

Today’s card of the day is the Eight of Cups. The number 8 in numerology as well as in tarot represents balance between the material and the spiritual world, it also represents progress and transformation on an internal level. Cups represent your emotions, your spiritual harmony and your intuition. In this card we see a mermaid, swimming deep into the ocean, she is fully submerged unlike the queen of her suit. She has a light attached to her to represent her ability to see deep within herself. The waters she swims deep into represent her deep emotions. As she swims to the bottom however many of her cups are beginning to float above. However she is still holding onto one last cup. This card is about searching deep inside oneself to find answers. Something that has once given you joy no longer has the same effect on you. To figure out why you must search deep inside yourself, inside your soul. It is possible something you once wanted and pursued with great vigor no longer fits in with who you’ve become as a person. This card is about moving on, for the sake of your own well being. In career and finance it is a possibility that you have the realization that you have outgrown the position and the responsibilities within that job no longer challenge or stimulate you. For singles in the area of romance this card could mean you want to be in a more serious relationship or you may want to move on from a- situationship as I like to call it where one person is putting in far more effort than another. You are realizing by looking within that it is not worth it to waste a finite resource such as time. For people who are in a relationship it could mean that relationship ending, or it could represent the thoughts of wanting to end it. This break up would be without someone lying, cheating or hurting one another but based rather on having nothing more to learn from this person. In any direction this card comes with sadness, endings and moving on from things we once wanted always carry a degree of pain or guilt. This card is also associated with the zodiac sign cancer which is a cardinal sign. Cardinal signs are ambitious, active and insightful. This card carries the element of water and the desire to change and transform. By not leaving things that no longer serve us behind we miss opportunities that can challenge and progress our growth and ascension. Look within for things that may be holding you back from being truly happy. Remember that growth is challenging but nothing worth having comes easy. Have a blessed day. Namaste.