tamed-yet-feral

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last night i dreamt tumblr added like a billion buttons to the mobile app so instead of this

we got this

and everyone just rolled with it but sometimes the wide naruto got too wide and blocked off all the other buttons and people would just post "got naruto'd again :/" and the only way to reset him was to log out and log back in

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No surprise there

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a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

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dick makes people mentally ill. dick havers, dick wannabes and dick lovers are all insane. it's like toxoplasmosis, you have compulsive need to defend and push and worship dicks all the time and spead your dick mania to everywhere you go.

this seems rational and grounded in empirical evidence

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Ayoo just to preempt the inevitable dumb takes we’re about to start seeing;

I am PRO-WOOL

I am PRO-LEATHER

I am PRO-BEES

Fuck the idea of replacing durable, sustainable animal products with cheap, flimsy plastic that doesn’t bio-degrade. Agave nectar and other artificial sweeteners are expensive, labor-intensive, and destroy the environment to be farmed.

Do not buy into pernicious marketing campaigns pushed by dickhead organizations trying to stay relevant, like PETA.

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every day i think about the cat on twitter who looks more like a scheming eunuch than any creature has ever looked

monkey i love you beloved little freak i would die for you

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Cigarettes give you cancer, alcohol gives you cancer….. what’s next? the fire retardant in my ceiling that I like to inhale for good luck???

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btw being excessively nonconfrontational is NOT a positive trait. it does not mean u are “too nice” or just too kind to hurt people, it means u have a problem communicating and you need to work on it.

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lesbian sex that looks like a big cartoon ball of dust with the occasional leg sticking out and i crawl out of it covered in lipstick kisses and get swiftly dragged back in

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No one talks about how petty kim can get if you decide to be an asshole to him.

A little “who looks like shit” poll

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what if it GETS her though 😥

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redesign your pussy. we know how to do it. coochie calculations. put them into action

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my friend keeps posting their periodical spectacular culinary failures on twitter because they’re such a bad cook it’s actually comical but i think this one is the all-timer