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[talldarkanddominant]

Need.

[talldarkanddominant]

LOOK ME IN THE EYES

He comes home to find his little pup spending her day off by curling up in their bed together — naked and losing herself to the world resting open in her free hand.

The book slumps out of her hand as she fixes those fae-like eyes to his. Under the blazing afternoon light filtering in through the blinds the green they normally are glisten like uncovered Amber.

A wicked idea comes to him.

‘Don’t stop playing on account of me. Why don’t you read aloud for me, you horny thing — I want to hear why you couldn’t wait for my permission. I want to see how you like to play with yourself.’

He stands in the doorway and watches as she turns the page and begins to play.

For herself.

For him.

A cadence forms in her adorable business-voice. He knows the one. He hears it through the walls when they work from home together in their respective offices. The cutest thing is in the tiniest details. How the rise-and-fall gives way to the push-me-pull-me rhythm of her moans.

Dialogue comes out in a breathy stammer, hanging on a syllable for dear life as her needy ass gives in to the pleasure momentarily.

He almost loses himself in the moment, watching her hands glide under the covers. His mouth waters and he has to remind his own needy ass to tell her to slow down. She cannot come yet, only edge to that delightful edge of sanity.

The flustered state she’s in is just as rewarding as anything they’ve done together. Hearing her stutter, moan through the dialogue of the book, take a break between sentences to not-so-successfully curse under her breath.

She’s unraveling before his eyes.

And he can’t help himself.

The ache in his pants is too strong.

He reaches down, dulls it with a squeeze.

It works…for the moment.

It won’t last.

He’ll need to breed her cute little ass.

It’s always fucking wonderful to see the mess he’s made of her dripping out of her beautiful pussy.

Fuck. He’s started stroking himself.

Focus.

But he can’t help it.

Watching her grind her hips up to fuck her fingers.

Seeing just how much she likes to brutalize her own nipples.

Fuck.

Her moans come quicker now.

‘Stop. Start again.’

‘What?? But come on, I just-‘

‘Nope. Take as long as you need to but stop and start again.’

Her half-lidded eyes seem to whine and beg as much as the feral, mewling noise that comes out of her.

The cutest fucking thing.

He’s got the thread and he wants to pull it till she’s gone.

The second time he tells her to stop and start again, her face turns a deep shade of red. She actually hits the bed out of pure frustration.

One might say she smacks the chuckle right out of him.

‘Can I cum? Oh please can I cum?’

‘Please hold.’

‘Fuck!’

This she spits out.

But she keeps going.

And going.

The room is a sauna.

Sweat beads along her one exposed thigh.

She kicks off the sheets and shows him exactly how soaked she is.

And how frantic she plays.

The sounds of her soaked ass just makes him want to pound her.

Everywhere.

Sympathy strikes him hard in the chest.

‘All right. You can come.’

Thank you, she stammers.

Over and over.

Words spill out like water in a bursting dam.

All of a sudden she’s a record caught in a loop.

Trying so hard to get through the sentence even as her delicious orgasm comes over her

‘…part of…p-p-paaaaaarrr…’

He watches her body spasm, watches her eyes roll, watches the book smack against her tits.

A fleeting thought comes — he hopes that hurts her. He files it away.

Closes the gap between them just as a spray shoots across the edge of the bed.

Guttural cries.

Trembling thighs.

Sun-soaked tits.

Her favourite pink toy slips from her slit and falls against her clit.

He lays down beside her.

Rests his hand over hers as she holds it still on her.

‘Look at me.’ He says softly.

She does.

Her eyes wide and eager.

Barely holding it together.

Fuck, he’s barely holding it together himself.

For now he waits.

Watches the colour of her hand gripping the sheets drain white.

Feels another spray shoot across his thighs.

Pool down around his legs.

His adorable fucking mess.

[talldarkanddominant]

Rewiring My Brain To Normalise Being Naked

I know. The title sounds like the name of a track lifted from a prog metal record. But it’s a title that came to me and I thought: You know what, I don’t mind that.

This might be a bit of a ramble post so if you’ve opened this and you’ve just got in the car after work or you’re out in the midst of life, wait till you’re home – in bed, in the bath, on the couch — whatever your comfy realm is.

So a lot of my upbringing – the parenting style of my parents, how they raised me Catholic – would go on to play its role in my sexuality. Or coming to terms with said sexuality. I talked a bit about this during my 30 Days of Dominance, how my upbringing may have informed my dominant style.

One thing it did influence was how I approach nudity. Nudity felt sexual, taboo. Dangerous. I wasn’t naked for myself until I was 13. I didn’t start sleeping naked until, I wanna say, my early twenties. I’ll get back to sleeping naked in a bit. But BEING naked, just in a regular, mundane setting was unheard of. Until I got the urge out of nowhere to strip and go running through my parent’s acres of land.

Out amongst the trees, with the wind whipping my legs and a breeze teasing my cock, I felt wild. Untamed. And probably more important, not belonging to religion or strict parenting. I was so giddy I felt kinda queasy. Like I was a newborn animal drinking greedily from a spring.

In my twenties I’d find out I was primal. Which is to say, for those unfamiliar and those passing by the blog, belonging to a state of mind where I think less and feel more. I act animalistic. I let all the thoughts in the moment – love, lust, goofiness – come to me and I give it a big ol’ bear hug. I love storms and I love being out in the rain and now I’m naked a fair lot in my day.

I HAD TO REWIRE MY MIND. Because being naked felt taboo it made it feel wild. Because it felt wild it made it slightly sexy. Because it felt slightly sexy I grew to discover I enjoyed exhibitionism sometimes. The IDEA of getting caught. And because I enjoyed exhibitionism, I felt shame. Which stopped me from exploring being naked.

In my twenties I began to sleep naked. I loved it. It was peaceful, relaxing. It made me realise just how much I hated the feeling of clothes choking on me and not letting my skin breathe. It was no longer a thrill thing, it was a thing of comfort. An act to decompress after a stressful day by eschewing clothes and my societal mask to be ME.

I realised that nakedness was something that relaxed me.

So I took it outside of the bedroom.

I did mundane things around the house. I did the washing. I did my writing. I did various household things while naked. And piece by piece, it chipped away at – not only this feeling of shame residing in me, like I was a pervert – but my insecurity. I’m my own worst enemy. The way my ass looks, the shape of me. I was lanky and gross and looking like…well, bad mouthing me doesn’t serve anyone.

I still have those moments where I feel insecure. I don’t think those go away. Not always. I think you just become more of a warrior in managing them.

Being naked more has also just made more aware of my mind as well. Aware of all these little pieces that make me primal or dominant. I feel at home being naked. I feel relaxed and calm. It makes me realise just how much I grumble when I have to get dressed and play the part of me to society and friends. When, really, I’m at home best curled up somewhere naked and reading.

I have so many thoughts and can talk / write about this till the cows come home.

If you’re of a similar background to me and thinking you’d like to be naked more – try it slowly. See how you feel. At a pace that makes you comfortable. More than this, be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Let that inner nudist or primal be free in their own space. You might be like me, you might never go back to sleeping in pjs or something.

[talldarkanddominant]

I’m feeling Dommy. Like wanting to take care of a pet. Naked, collared, leashed, maybe cat ears. Sitting on the couch. Maybe she sits by my feet on a pillow of her own. Watching movies. Hook. Or something.

[talldarkanddominant]

Show me how you play with yourself.

As a dominant, there’s a long, long list of commands that feel so wondrous to utter but this string of words might be the most intoxicating, for the scrumptious meaning that trails behind the syllables.

Beyond scenes, beyond dynamics, beyond choosing her outfit for the musical we’re off to — Show me. How YOU PLAY. With Yourself.

A lot is wrapped up in that moment. I’ve given the order but I’ve been deemed worthy to be given a glimpse into a private space. Into all of her.

It’s intimate but it’s voyeuristic.

There’s eye contact and in that shared glimpse the realisation that: No, I’m not going to play with you. You’re not going to use MY cock to get off, you’re going to play with yourself FOR MY ENJOYMENT. And, hey — yours.

I think it’s more than just liking to watch, more than just a sexy moment shared between two minds, I’ve tugged on a thread and I’m pulling and I’m watching her unravel in real time. Frantic whispers and strained curses and how she adores pinching and pulling her nipples.

That not only pulls my hand to my cock it pulls on my heart strings because I feel this deep within me. Who is worshiping who? Maybe both, maybe that’s the post-flu tiredness talking, who can say. But I just know —

It’s sweet, it’s sexy, the moment is magic. I can’t get enough of her.

[talldarkanddominant]

Ride me on top so I can see your face.

Caught in the groove.

Eyes clenched.

Lips trembling.

Letters caught between your teeth.

Hair in messy strands down bare shoulders.

My mess.

You’re my pretty little mess.

Mumblings of something and nothing.

Hands trying to decide if you should

Pinch

Stretch

Pull

Squeeze.

All of the above.

I’d help you but

I’ve found the loose thread on you

And I want to pull it until you’ll unravel

Completely

Before my eyes.

Nothing feels as good as

denying you release.

Watching you collapse into me

Nuzzle my chest

Beg like a needy bitch

To be put out of your misery

Maybe I will

Maybe I won’t

Keep easing into me

Losing yourself as I fill you

So slowly it tickles your stomach

My gorgeous little mess

[talldarkanddominant]

The wild things we are in the shower

All my life I’ve been dominant. In charge.

Setting the orders.

Making the decisions.

Until now.

‘On. Your. Knees.’

His voice was commanding, laced with an edge that makes my impossibly hard cock ache for release.

We’ve stolen a moment, while his roommate was out, to take a shower together.

My first time seeing him utterly naked.

Seeing a man utterly naked.

Where did it come from? This need?

One day we’re gaming together then the next it changes everything.

It happens as a joke that becomes serious.

Now, here we are.

The words ‘Yes Sir.’ are a weight off my chest.

Anything goes.

There will be time for analysis later.

As I sink to my knees, feeling the water lash my ass, pool around my knees, I can’t pin a memory on the mind board, can’t trace it back to a moment I realised I wanted this.

Submission.

A man.

More than anything in the entire fucking world I want his cock in my mouth.

I want to please.

‘Gods, are you beautiful.’

Why does it hit harder hearing a man call me beautiful? I don’t know.

I just know my heart races wild at it.

‘Is your dominant mind wrestling with control?’

A gentle tease in his voice peppers the rushing water of the shower.

We’ve talked BDSM here or there in our 6 year friendship but it was only a few weeks ago he admitted he wanted to try dominating men too. Course, I let slip I was intrigued as a joke. But how much was it really a joke?

Really, wherever we all go are we not simply animals?

A spasm rocks sizzles over my cock as His hands cup my face. Gently. Cooly.

Nevermind his well-trimmed cock is inches from my face. Hovering there, teasingly.

‘On the contrary. I salivate.’

Gods indeed. I can hear the lust in my own voice.

But it is true. I feel my mouth water.

‘Oh I’d ask you to dribble but I’d rather fuck your wet mouth now.’

‘Why don’t you then?’

He steps closer, his cock now brushing against my lips. Tickling.

Fuck.

‘I’m enjoying how eager your eyes look. They really darken when you’re horny, you know that?’

Before I can stop myself I lunge for his cock with my mouth. Like a greedy pup that’s just had its dinner put down.

It’s only when he fills my mouth that I realise I get nervous. His thicker than he is big but I don’t know my own mouth either.

There will be time for analysis later.

He stumbles against the shower wall as he moans but I stay with him, wriggling forward on my knees.

The little pond of water around my ass teases me. All of a sudden my face is buried down in his pillow, inhaling his scent. I’m desperate for him to take me.

Claim me.

My hair being tugged takes me out of it. He controls me. Owns me.

Gods, now I want to fuck HIM.

This doesn’t make sense.

All I know is I can’t get enough of that taste of him. I can’t describe it. I just know my mouth waters for more as his tip slips out of my mouth.

‘Gods.’ I hear him murmur. ‘Fuck you are delicious.’

He drowns himself out with his moans. Fuck, that makes me insatiable. Keeps me going.

Pumping his cock like a good eager boy.

This feels different. This feels amazing.

Is this me? Is this really who I am?

His moans are lighter than his speaking voice. Cute.

‘Fuck, I’m going to cum. I don’t want to fill your mouth, I..’

Stay, I wanted to growl around his cock but all that came out was a moan.

He was pulling out. He was…

My heart leapt up into my throat. Got lodged there.

A spray of his load dribbled down my lips.

I lapped it up — again, indescribable. I couldn’t think of a word to frame it.

Another spray smacked against my cheek. I could feel it roll down to my chin.

Another smacked against my chest.

Laughter.

Mine.

I’m being baptised. Born again.

An eager submissive slut.

That’s all me.

‘I’m sorry.’ He was panting through the throes of his orgasm. ‘I didn’t know if you wanted to swallow me, I didn’t..’

‘Come here.’

My mouth sank over his cock and I lapped up the rest of his cum pumping out.

Short spurts into my mouth.

‘I didn’t mean to come so early.’

‘Hush.’

This I said, hopefully not too unkindly, and went back to cleaning his cock.

He retreated from me.

Around us the pipes began to whine.

Wait. That was me. Whining at him because his cock isn’t in my mouth.

He slid against the shower wall and came to sit on its floor, eyes dotted with water beads and looking lush.

He was beautiful himself.

‘Gods I’ve made a mess of you.’

‘Am I not yours to be made messy?’

‘I’d like you to be.’

Then he smiled and became all the more beautiful. ‘My stomach is so giddy. I’ve never done anything like this.’

‘Neither. I feel — ‘

‘High, right?’

He blushed. Sitting there, water pouring from him, he was gorgeous. I loved that he was still hard.

I resisted the urge to bend down and taste him once more.

‘Anything else…Sir?’

This came without thinking.

I had yet to come. I was ravenous, in a frenzy. My cock ached for relief.

‘Come for me.’

‘You want to taste me huh?’

‘Oh I’m going to. As I’m going to fuck your pretty little ass.’

A moan spilled from my wet lips coated in him and my hand was there, on my cock, jerking fast.

He shifted closer to me, spreading his legs around mine. He kissed me…tentatively at first…then hungrily.

Something brushed against my cock.

His own.

‘I’ve never said this before but…anyone ever tell you have a gorgeous cock?’ His voice was a pure, his breath tracing my lips.

‘No one that mattered.’

Frenzy.

‘Good boy.’

Those were the words that put me over the edge.

I couldn’t contain my cries as my orgasm came out in thick, short spurts over his chest and thighs.

I was still coming down from it as I watched him scoop up my cum and taste it hungrily.

My laughter bounced off the walls.

Pure.

Unadulterated.

Bliss.

[talldarkanddominant]

UNFETTERED

She digs deep down into the darkness — and lets herself go.

Her name is not her name anymore. The letters on her work ID that rests between her tits make no semblance of sense.

The woman that looks back at her from where she sits on the edges of a bed is wild. Unkempt. Raven hair frames her face with curls. Her dark eyes are huge but…unrecognizable.

Yet she feels the touch of the woman..pulling aside the unbuttoned blouse, unclasping her bra. Peeling away her black slacks to reveal soaked black lace underwear.

She vaguely recalls something…something about being home from work, getting undressed, but it feels like a memory.

A lifetime ago.

Instead…she watches the unnamed woman reach for the bedside drawer to her left. Watches her rummage around inside, pull out a thick, purple vibe.

The hand that rolls her nipples between its fingers is not her husband’s.

The voice that tells her to take off her panties right fucking now is not her husband’s voice.

He’s downstairs doing the dishes. She can hear him humming to himself.

While she’s up in their bedroom.

‘Who do you belong to?’

It makes no sense to think the voice in her ear is impossible but it is. It’s deep. With an edge but also somehow a softness.

The answer comes to her but she struggles to make it real. To give her voice to it. It’s there, it’s so fucking close, but it takes her a few tries to get it out of her dry lips.

‘Y-y….Y-you, Sir.’

‘So why do you deny me? Why do you deny what you are….my whore…’

‘I..I don’t..’

‘On your knees.’

The bed makes her wobble but she’s on her knees now, facing the mirror across from her. Once upon a time she didn’t like her tits, their size, their shape, the way they came to rest out of a bra. Now she feels a smile touch her lips as she looks back at the naked woman tracing the purple toy along her slit. She’s goddam gorgeous.

‘You don’t want to be my whore?’

The voice comes from behind her. Breath hot on her neck. She’d sell her soul to feel his hard cock against her ass. She’d do anything…

‘I do – no, I do.’

The desperation stains her voice and words.

‘Then SAY IT. Say it, you fucking bitch.’

The words cut through the air and mark her bare back, clawing down to her ass.

At the tail end of the sentence the toy leans into her clit, buzzing hard. She stifles her cry.

He doesn’t need to hear.

Is it he doesn’t need to hear or he doesn’t get to hear?

Or both? This is for her Master.

Her mind is running away with her thoughts. She lets it go.

‘I am…I want to be…your whore.’

‘Louder.’

‘I am your whore, I am! I am!’

She’s whimpering in hushed tones.

‘Slip that toy inside yourself and tell me who you belong to.’

Her body jolts, her legs tremble, as the toy spreads her lips apart and slides right in. Her breath lodges in her throat. She has to remember to breathe.

‘I belong to you.’

Sweat glistens on the woman’s forehead. Her eyes flutter through the sweat as the toy inches a little further. The sight is knotting her stomach, turning her on.

She feels sick but…elated. High?

‘Make no mistake, my little slut. You belong to me. You have always belonged to me. I own you.’

‘Yes, Master.’

‘Master, am I? What a delightful slave you are. Put on those clamps.’

She throws back the sheets with her free hand, finds the clothes pegs buried there and slips them on both of her nipples within seconds. Pain shoots through her, startling, pinching. Blissful.

Why was she ever worried about the pain? It seems so welcoming now. Warm. Delightful.

‘Pull them, bitch.’

The noise that comes out of her is guttural, strained. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows to be quiet. To hide from her husband.

As she pulls them, the pain increases, gnawing at her, stretching her tits to what feels like fucking oblivion. Where does it stop, where does it stop? Keep going, keep going.

She catches herself falling, shoots out her arms. Is on all fours now, her ass up in the air.

‘God, I want to devour that soaking cunt of yours…that needy fucking cunt.’

‘Please..’ She hears herself beg. Her heart is in her throat, blood pumping in her ears. She’s panting hard as the toy pummels in and out of her.

‘Listen to how wet you are. Listen to how fucking much you want me. And not your husband down stairs…’

A stab of guilt. Her stomach’s twisting but she cannot stop herself.

For the love of God she cannot stop herself.

‘This is who you are. This is what you are. Don’t you run from it.’

She can feel his breath on her thighs. Fuck, she’s actually lifting her ass to him. Her hubby never fucks her ass.

‘All your life, that little cunt, those gorgeous tits, that ass, your fucking mind — all of you. You’ve belonged to me. You just didn’t know it. All your life has led to being owned by me…’

She desperately shuts in her moans. Lets them buzz on the back of her lips – fuck, she wants to taste him. Wrap her mouth around his cock and taste him. Better yet – show how much of a good slave she is.

Is she…a slave? Truly? Fuck.

She can’t get enough of the toy. Rising her hips only to glide down into it, feeling it buzz around her lips. Knowing he’s behind her watching her drip onto the bed she shares with her husband.

She’s lost in a daze, tears in her eyes, when she feels the hand around her throat. Panic comes – then dissipates. She’s falling back on her ass but he has her in his lap, guiding his cock to….

Stars. Shining bright above. Specks of light shooting across her bedroom like the cosmos is all around. He fills her completely, all consuming, all around her. Owning her.

‘Renounce your marriage.’

Her stomach plummets.

‘What?’

She can’t think.

‘Renounce your fucking marriage — ‘

— All she wants is his cock —

‘- and my load belongs to you.’

‘Fuck..’

She grips his thighs to maintain some sense of fucking him for herself but she can’t. He has her held tightly.

‘Now. Repeat after me. I….’

Shakily she does. Lays her full name out into the wilderness. Lays her husband’s full name out into the wilderness.

‘I fucking renounce my marriage — and I…and she belongs to her Master.’

Third person feels right somehow.

Lifts a weight she didn’t know she had around her neck.

They find a rhythm together, the heat of his chest to her back. His hands flicking her sensitive nipples like some sort of sadist.

‘Her cunt belongs to her Master.’

She swallowed. Her throat clicked.

‘Her cunt belongs to her Master.’

‘Her ass…’

‘Her ass..’

‘is His..’

‘Is His…’

‘As is her body, mind and soul.’

‘As is her body, mind and soul.’

His grunt was hot on her ear, rattled in her brain.

His cock twitched around her — and then she knew…she felt it. His load…pumping into her. Her lips split into a grin…

And she was there, laying on her stomach, her ass in the air.

‘My naughty girl, look at you…’

His cum dripping out from her lips and down her thighs.

The thought sent her over the edge.

She bit her tongue shut, guilt and lust and hunger and sluttiness – words lose meaning, become strings of nonsense as the world around her flipped and twisted and she crashed into the bed, ass in the air, toy gripped around her eager cunt, thighs clamped shut.

‘My naughty girl…look at you…who are you? What are you?’

‘I don’t know…’

‘We’ll have to name you.’

Her chest heaves in and out. Her breath seems impossible to catch up to.

‘I’m yours. I don’t need a name right now.’

‘You will in time. So long as you never forget this..’

The dishes clatter downstairs.

Her head swims.

Alone in their en-suite bathroom, she cleans her toy, splashes water on her face and lit up by the coolness of the approaching evening she slips into her shorties.

She’s half tempted to leave the clamps on under her singlet. A reminder of her self.

But after pulling them off, she realizes she’s made the right decision to remove them.

The pain is delightful and worth it.

She packs her toy away and takes a look at herself in the mirror.

She’s a fierce spirit.

[talldarkanddominant]

‘Would you like your Christmas present now?’

[talldarkanddominant]

[talldarkanddominant]

You know, my mum always been told the eyes are the windows to the soul and I’ve never really fully understood that until my adulthood. Until I grew as a dominant.

Until someone kneeled before me completely naked and collared and looked up into my eyes.

I get lost there.

[talldarkanddominant]

🖤 Story of my life!

[talldarkanddominant]

‘Something’

There’s something about those eyes.

The faintest, lightest blue.

Like a lake in wintertime.

She stands before him completely naked. Lit by the soft purple glow of her bedside lamp. Thin black choker around her neck.

Head bowed.

Eyes down.

Arms laced before her tum.

Her chest rising and falling with every slow and steady breath.

And her eyes . . . wide and bewitching and alluring. Peaceful.

Waiting.

No, it never goes away. That feeling that he’s looking at her completely naked for the very first time.

That stomach flip.

That jolt of electricity sizzling over his body.

That tremble one his breath.

Blood pounding in his ears.

She chose him.

Him.

Considered him worthy of her submission. Her mind. Her body. Her sass regulated full force to him in their private realm.

All that she is.

He has reflected upon that for years.

Writing and rewriting and editing and trying to perfect the meaning, the feeling, the scale of what that means to him, what she means to him, her submissive to his dominant.

His self to her self.

Treading darkness with their light.

Naked under the stars.

Raw and wild.

A tempest raging all consuming and then the storm gives way to the morning light and their kisses are as sweet and soft as the morning dew that beads along their bare bodies.

[talldarkanddominant]

Hey all,

If you’ve found me from my blog and used to follow me, I decided to start anew — away from bot accounts and years of old writings of my past self. I wanted to declutter! So if you’ve got a follow from this strange new blog, hi hi! It’s me!

If you are finding me for the first time, hullo! I’m an Aussie guy exploring my dominance through stories and journals and moods. I love to write and explore what charges my mind and I hope you do too! I have a blog over on wordpress but I’m rewriting here too! Obviously this will be erotica so 18+ please! But if you have any questions for me, please feel free to say hello!

[talldarkanddominant]

BDSM Has Been Healing For Me

‘The fierce warrior shoots him a look that’s equal measures eagerness and obedient. She’s stretched out on the bed, on her back. Right leg propped up. Hands pinching her nipples.

Her eyes are glassy. Glazed. She’s His and she is here — totally, unequivocally. There are no words.

‘Does Sir need to take out His frustrations on His toy?’

His chest soars with a lightness he struggles to comprehend. It’s her. She’s the light. She is everything. Affection swirls with horniness and with desire and he sinks between her thighs. They are together, in fierceness and in love and in understanding.’

Here is a truth I’ve been polishing away at, like a paleontologist digging up the past and brushing away the grit —- BDSM can be healing for me. Therapeutic.

I don’t mean it can SOLELY take the form of therapy. No. That’s not a good idea. As hard as it is, taking that step to speak with a therapist should be at the top of the list in terms of approaching healing and therapeutic exercises. Least, it is for me.

But BDSM had its part to play in my pronged approach to healing. Using lessons I gained from therapists - of mindfulness and correcting negative self esteem issues — I sat in the storm with my dominance. I saw all of me — my soft spoken shyness, my anxiety and my desires - interests in things the Catholic faith I was raised on shamed you on.

As time passed under this storm I came to find peace and understanding with these parts of myself. I wasn’t a monster. I wasn’t insane. After I shook off my upbringing, I saw what I’ve established as a slice of my love language. Through talking with others across events, forums - that one podcast event I took part in, I realized: these people, men and women, want all this: degradation and humiliation and roleplaying and CNC as much as I do. It’s a slice of their love language, how they connect, how they decompress, how they express their affection. Explore what they can’t quite verbalize.

This isn’t all of me. It’s just another piece of the puzzle. And I’m not alone.

I think through learning that I have begun to tackle my anxieties and my shyness and have found lightness and liberation.