tales-of-euphoria

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I hate people and this is why:

Not that I normally care, but I'm actually very angry with how I've been treated as of late 😞. You see, we live in a place where friends that 'miss you' make little to no effort to see or help you when you've been a real friend to them, but instead they spend their time with people who they've bitched about. Where close friends will stab you in the back to get what they want, regardless of your desires or interests. Where unnatural dyed, damaged hair and outrageous fashion trends are praised and where people are less-likely to be natural and themselves but yet others condone the superficial. Where someone will make assumptions about your lifestyle, but will use your connections to gain something out of it like weed or an audience of gamers for example - without so much as a thank you, a shout out or an apology (for the assumptions) 😕. Where girls will shun various nice guys for not knowing what to say, but will be attracted to horrible guys that say the right thing. This is exactly the reason I dislike a lot of people around here and only people around here because y'all just don't help yourselves, but I am forever humbled and thankful to have few good people in my life and I will do my best to make those people happy, which accounts for a total of about 5 people, but hey-ho. So, like, thanks to those that have believed in me. It means a lot right now. People that know me know that these last few years have been hard, so I appreciate the positive thoughts.

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Depression

There was a time where I was at ease, where I could walk around with friends and go on adventures without feeling like I'm being pulled under by people's opinions and judgment. This was a time where I was truly happy with my life, as I wasn't meeting the expectations of others, but as you get older you are asked to fill certain roles and sometimes end up doing things you just don't have any passion for anymore. It's no surprise that the news of Robin Williams' death has sparked a bit of discussion, but why so? Is it because no one saw his death coming? Maybe that's the problem. Depression is an invisible illness that needs to be discussed further and if you're one of the many people out there who is facing any problems in life and feel like they're losing control, please talk to someone - including me. In a world where we must face negativity everyday, it is easy to shut yourself away from that to focus on yourself and the positives that await, but understand that by assessing your problems and solving them, it could mean that you improve your life substantially. However, things like suicide and self-harm prevent you from having that option at all. In fact; it was a long time ago, but I almost took my life away by taking a load of sleeping pills. I can still taste the bitterness of the pills from when I had to throw them up and the stomach cramps I had for days after. I mean, being brought to a shell of what I was and to have people prodding and mocking me was the lowest point in my life. Everything I had, loved and wanted was taken from me within months. It felt like I was being ridiculed for just being human and showing emotion. The thing is; I made a change. I made myself a better person than I was yesterday. I worked hard, found my smile, found my partner and things started falling into place. However, it was then where I found someone to truly listen to me and understand me. If I'd taken those pills that day, I probably wouldn't of dreamed of being this happy now. I guess what I'm trying to say is to not be so hard on yourself when things go badly but to learn from it. As you should always give yourself a chance to improve. Life is hard as is and speaking from experience, it's easy to say that people don't understand you and most of the time that is exactly the case, so let them help you. Oh and remember that, "you're only ever given one spark of madness, you mustn't lose it!"

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Leo is the man.

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It's pretty funny.

I was somewhat misunderstood last year, and it was while I was wrecking my brain trying to find out why I was faced with constant disappointment that I learned some fundamentally important things about myself. All I've had to hear for years was people making assumptions and setting targets for a regular guy like me to work towards and overcome. In fact, it has always felt like I have had to work harder than most to get the same things as them. This has never stopped people making my life even harder - even when it seemed I had lost everything. The people who supposedly knew me the best were the ones to twist the knife that had been lodged into my back by associates and it's hard to just smile and move on from those people without any sharing any bad blood. These people are the same people that know they were in the wrong and persisted on sharing 'inspirational' quotes in a bid to justify their various disgusting actions - as if mocking the situation would have helped. Life may not be fair, but I'm sure you were brought up with a good level of respect and discipline - enough of it to understand that you can have the choice of making life fair for another person if you weren't wrapped up in your own emotions. However, times change and I'm happily in a relationship with someone I'd never dream of replacing. Who appreciates every side to me, instead of just the few. She takes time to cheer me up, understands me and she's my best friend. I love running my fingers through her hair, holding her waist, biting her lips and just playfighting. With her, I see improvement in myself everyday and I can honestly say that I love her to pieces. In all honesty, it was the girls I previously liked or dated who would insinuate that if I had certain traits then I would be superior/ more attractive - but this was partially my fault for having bad taste in women and being a little insecure, but this idea of never being good enough for women and my family ate me alive for years. I am a perfectionist and not being able to improve yourself is like being set alight and watching your face and body disfigure. I can honestly say that I have all of the desired traits stated previously and I'm using them all to make this one girl happy. I feel so sorry for those that have lost faith in me or didn't give me an opportunity to express myself, but you can experience my finer moments in upcoming months and that's for damn sure - because I have big things planned. People have since understood that I need freedom after being confined by peoples expectations for so long. From this, I have become much more athletic, artistic, spontaneous, confident and fun - which is nice because I can guarantee that my relationship never gets boring and that Pascale is happy 100% of the time. Funnily enough, without her I probably would have been gone a long time ago. I hope you read this someday and smile, Pascale. Know that I will always be greatful of the time we share and that you were my savior when I really stopped believing in heroes and heroines. Thanks, my little wonder woman. I love you. 💜

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The little things

Sometimes it's just the little things like waking up next to someone, rubbing your fingers through their hair and sharing a smile that makes me feel inspired. I've grown up alone for most of my life and support is something I've had to live without despite people saying independence will benefit me. I've been chewed up, spat out and still made it to an ideal state of living for myself and my family, and it is because of my struggle than I am extremely proud of my achievements. It isn't even like I don't have people attracted to me, because I do, but more that I expect people to bail or make excuses as to why they can't commit to me, as that's all I've heard for a year or so. Maybe it's me, as I have a severe trust issue with people which is based on a lifetime of close people walking out on me, but I'd like at least one person to change my perspective. Instead, I feel empty on the inside and as a result of this, my money, success and everything else material is less-than-satisfactory when you have no one to share it with, I guess. At least, that's exactly how it feels.

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We waited sixteen years for this

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Classic fag hand in the mirror shot. But do you like my T? #Pokémon #PokémonXY #noctowl #bird #birds #flyingtype #owl #johto #kalos #igers #fashion #boy #man #cute #orange #orangeisthenewblack #vanity #selfie #mirrorshot #instagramer #instagood #instagamer #igers #hair #hairstyles #retro #retrogaming #Nintendo #gamefreak #anime #hashtag

[tales-of-euphoria]

So..I have a lot of starter Pokémon.. #PokémonXY #pocketmonsters #gamer #games #nostalgia #Nintendo #videogames #retrogaming #hatersgonnahate #trade #online #3DS

[tales-of-euphoria]

This

Is how it feels to have depression. Or an eating disorder. Or anxiety. Or when you’re dealing with self harm. 

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Even at the brink of self-destruction, I aim to someday find someone who is afraid of losing me in their life.

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“Well, a boy’s best friend is his mother.”

Psycho (1960)

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Pharrell on his time working at McDonald’s

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While X and Y information has been leaked, Nintendo should have contacted the retailers responsible for an early dispatch. C&D'ing is so last year and can affect traffic substantially. Leaking information or reading it online or offline shouldn't be illegal anyway. There are no laws that prohibit that on the internet, currently. We're entitled to the freedom of information.

If people want to leak, then just make dummy accounts. People will still buy Pokémon. Nintendo know this; hence the first worldwide release.

Alright gonna post it once again, with tagging.

PLEASE DO NOT LEAK POKÉMON X AND Y CONTENT

You will get into deep trouble with Nintendo. The guys who posted Screens on Instagramm and Twitter got a cease and desist notices from Nintendo. Serebii got cease and desist notices from...

[tales-of-euphoria]

Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.

(via faustizzles)

[tales-of-euphoria]