takeyourlithium

[takeyourlithium]

[takeyourlithium]

You know how corn was selectively bred out of grasses, and bananas used to have tons of rocky seeds, and avocados used to be like 90% pit, and watermelons once looked

like this?

I think we should breed the pits out of mangoes

[takeyourlithium]

I love dark chocolate and dark roast coffee. I would probably also enjoy eating coal.

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[takeyourlithium]

fuuuuuck i have needs and wants and desires :( sadly they needto put me at the bottom of a deep as fuck hole and pour cement over me because of this

[takeyourlithium]

grandma stories: I huddled for warmth in a double bed with my 5 siblings. When my Pap wasn’t tormenting my mother, he was drinking himself blind. I had to get a job to support us all. We did not have electricity or running water and I lost a toe to frostbite back in ���64. My dear little sister drowned and I was the one to pull her body from the creek. I dropped out of high school to care for my sister’s baby after she died. I worked for a church after my sister’s death and the minister was very cruel to me and forced me to sleep in the crypt. I ate shoe leather so that my mother could gave a Christmas ham each year. I thank God for my strength.

grandpa stories: Got booked for drag racing in high school. Twice. Yeah, they sent me off to war after that. Didn’t make it to Vietnam, got stationed in Germany. Goddamn, there were some foxy babes in Berlin in the 60s. Met your grandma while I was riding my motorcycle down the Blue Ridge Parkway after being dishonorably discharged in ‘67. I was liquored and slid clean into a graveyard. Ran over some chick in rags. Thought she was a banshee. She wasn’t. That’s your Meemaw. Met her. Wish I hadn’t but y’know. Hate the lady, she sure is resourceful. It’s been 57 years and she still ain’t told me why she was in that goddamn graveyard in the first place.

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people laugh at me for always asking a baby's permission before picking them up but let me tell you when my nephew was seven months old I picked him up off the floor without checking first and he was absolutely outraged and reproached me with terrible wails. just because a person is very small doesn't mean it's not scary and upsetting to be scooped up out of nowhere by a much larger person. quite the contrary. obviously if a baby is in danger or the situation is otherwise pressing you can temporarily suspend the rules of polite behavior and just grab them up, much like you are allowed to violently shove a grownup if a speeding car is bearing down on them. but that doesn't mean you just go around shoving people as a matter of routine. show some consideration to our latest arrivals on this horrible planet. they are better at communicating than you think

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Being horny for Overwatch characters is like saying your favorite food is McDonald's

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"Somebody hand me my nails. I'm about to give a church a visit."

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sorry that my pussy is so wet and soft and inviting and my heart is pure and full of whimsy. as if it’s my fault.

[takeyourlithium]

how many followers do you have

only you baby i swear

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ergonomic

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Erm actually.. @jamesfromidaho come over here and verify that I am in fact delicious and nutritious por favor mi amor :3

attention nutritions, you do not have a choice

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all the big gizztagram accounts being like GUYSSS IM SO SAD TOUR IS OVER SOON 💔💔 💔 meanwhile real ones over here like Finally....... some Fucking Piece and Quiet 🌄

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The worlds first smiling friends themed baby shower

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big ass werewolf in a service dog harness

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