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WIP Reflection

I can see why people may have been slightly confused about my wip. I actually forgot there was a talking part to the showing and didn't prepare anything much for that section. I definitely agree with the note that this wip needed clearer framing and greater input from myself as the researcher and discoverer. I do think that some of this ambiguity occurred because at the time of the wip I was still really unsure what my research focus was. It was an amazing feeling to come out of that session feeling like I had succeeded. Not in the sense that I was able to put forward a cohesive "performance" for the showing but in I didn't feel like I had failed. I felt I had accomplished something even though it wasn't perfect. It was where I was and had been and I was happy with that. I think the most interesting feedback from the wip is the idea of building on top of each successive session of play and not resetting to neutral after each moment. I think this speaks to the looping nature of creative practice as well as adding to the variety of constraints I can place on my practice. The most poignant comment came from Olivia f which was it is more enjoyable for an audience to watch a performer who is enjoying themselves. The act of playing and enjoying is engaging and performative enough.

I still really like the idea of working with some sound and the vibration being felt through the boxes. But I can also see merit in completely leaving that discovery out of this performance.

I also like the idea of basing a performance around the book “Little Monsters” which I have worked with before in my play practice.

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05/10/17

So after having a week off I have been able to discover something interesting about myself and how I work as an academic creative. Theory work actually exhausts me more than physical work in a studio space. Finishing my essay plan has left me feeling pretty tired and now I understand how I got so overwhelmed earlier in the year trying to balance both theoretical and studio practice. I think this is a very good indicator that until the performance examination is completed I need to put the theory work on hold again so I don’t burn myself out.

From the time I spent in the studio yesterday I discovered two things

1. My “warm up” needs be enjoyable enough to motivate myself to complete the more technical elements of my practice. For example yesterday, I was really struggling to think of what to do to get started. So got up and started to walk to Feel it Still by Portugal the Man aim to start a viewpoints score. Instead though I felt that my body wanted to dance and then slowly transitioned into viewpoints.

2. I re-discovered my ability to pull together content for a performance and this makes me more comfortable to continue with my practice independent of the final exam before really jumping into that fully.

Now that I have been able to identify play and enjoyment as central to me and my research I can better focus on how to incorporate actively into my practice, by playing with activities, body, music, and limits.

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Written words are silent sounds.

hq

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In silent solitude

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We have to make the first move ourselves rather than expecting it to come from the phenomenal world or from other people. If we are meditating at home and we happen to live in the middle of the High Street, we cannot stop the traffic just because we want peace and quiet. But we can stop ourselves, we can accept the noise. The noise also contains silence. We must put ourselves into it and expect nothing from outside, just as Buddha did. And we must accept whatever situation arises.

Chogyam Trungpa (via aspiritualwarrior)

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13/09/17

Today my practice was slightly truncated due to a table read with the film honours students and to WIP showings. I did still complete an hour of physical practice which included a warm up and box work. With the box and sound work I keep forgetting to bring ear protection so I can’t push it like I want to. However I did love what I worked with today which was a small cardboard box, a medium cardboard box, a long wooden block, the pink plastic box and a continuous thunder noise generator. I think this has been my favourite noise out of all the generators I’ve tried because even without the extra amplification through the boxes I could feel the sound vibrate in my body. I also tried sticking my head inside the boxes which threw up all the questions of hearing not hearing feeling not feeling echos vibration reverberation. I also copied and printed a piece of poetry I collected through my browsing that I’m going to record and work with over the next few days.

In terms of where my practice is going I think I’m following two streams of inquiry. The first has to do with establishing and developing a practice as I have finally managed to do over the past few weeks with help from Rea. This connects in with my desire to enjoy my practice, which then leads through into notions of practice as play and impulse work. The second stream is to do with the boxes and vibration. During Lauren’s WIP I was slightly rudely noting down things about my own practice as they occurred to me so I wouldn’t forget them. One of these thoughts was about feeling sound. Feeling sound is what I really think this second stream of inquiry is focused on.

I’m starting to understand that I know I do often get stuck in the thinking and ideas side of my research there is some stuff I’m need to do to prepare for my sessions in the studios that isn’t going to be physical and that is ok.

Finally, the other thoughts I wrote down were to do with the idea of “stealing” in art and theatre. I’m finding myself recognising parts of other students investigation in my own practice. Lauren is using boxes as part of her practice. Olivia’s initial focus was to do with the senses and affect. Ciara’s work in first trimester with (auto) biographical material. Douglas and the use of space and objects within space. I’m not quite sure what this means to me yet but I think that it is interesting now that I have a cohesive practice structure that I can recognise how everyone’s work this year has influence my thinking around my practice.

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12/09/17

After the triumphs of last week I find myself coming into this week incredibly tired and demotivated. At the moment my practice is definitely leading me in the direction of boxes and their literal physical capabilities as well as their symbolic meanings. I’m starting to understand what Rea means when your practice is engaged in creative play that the artist enjoys doing does not equate to a comedic or fun performance. I feel like this relates to the symbolism of boxes I referenced earlier and some of the text and quotes I have started gathering related to the the word boxes. This content does have the darker side more at the forefront and I am starting to see how my practice could lead into a performance that to me at least seems at odds with the values behind my practice. I feel like a question I’ve been asking myself for most of the year is how do I delineate between practice, rehearsal and performance. I also think this has to do with values and what values I place on these phases. Another thing that I see emerging in my practice is that it is work, as much as any other work I have is. Like Rea keeps saying “practice is manual labour” and I feel the need to keep reminding myself that. I am feeling that working at home is also demotivating me. It was great for getting re-established in a practice schedule but now I feel a bit disconnected from my practice when at home. I’m going to look into booking some more space on either tuesday or thursday.

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I don’t care how old I am, I still wanna do this. >.>

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I Before babies touch their mothers, they are placed in boxes pure, untouched we warm them with tainted blue and pink blankets, white and black rooms, and notions boxes will keep them alive II We package boxes with how-to pamphlets for women and inside we cover skin with foundation and red lipstick and smile because we made the prettiest box. III A box for a bird is a cage for wings meant to fly and the whole time they are watching; watching with blue eyes– the bluest eyes cast upon the filth of the poor, the brown-eyed people, the birds they urge to fly but cut off their wings. VI Glass boxes are filled with memories and medals valor and guilt; the composition of boxes made from blood and tears and boxes reminding us of patriotism V When we move out we pack all our belongings in boxes; pack bones ghosts, regrets, and scars carry them with us the boxes are heavy and our spines grow hunched VI We live in a box Mortgage rates and glamor that consume salaries white-picket fences an indication of us and them we want bigger boxes than hearts and crystal clean windows but dare not leave the walls of comfort VII When we no longer open our eyes Our family buries us privilege from riches separating us from inevitable, equal decomposition and our boxes outlast what matters: our skin, bones, and red lipstick lips containment even after we die.

Seven Ways to Use a Box by Amanda Katherine Ricketson (via -poetic)

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My life escaping boxes by JB Knibbs

Day 55 of 365

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Hong Kong © Damien Gosset

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Stop putting God in a box. He will continue to break past your boundaries, your insecurities, your fears. He will spread His arms so wide, that they will cover the entire world. He’s not meant to be limited, He’s not meant to stay inside the lines. He is wild.

a.k. (via shepraises)

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52

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A note on labels

As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you, someone else putting you in a box is entirely different from getting into a box yourself.