taintedsecrets-rp

[taintedsecrets-rp]

any new events coming up or will we have to wait until february?

I think we should do something this month, so us admins will do our best to come up with something!

Admin C

[taintedsecrets-rp]

90% of your blogroll is inactive. Maybe you should have an activity check...

Thank you for the suggestion, anon. Unfortunately, with school starting back up over the course of this month, a lot of our members are on hiatus, and thus a lot of blogs haven’t posted in a bit. However, we will certainly have an activity check sometime within the coming week.

Admin H

[taintedsecrets-rp]

Welcome back to Tainted Secrets, Izzy! Sorry again for the late acceptance, but I'm so happy to see you back here again??? Your apps are some of my favourites in case I never said so before. You put so much thought into ever little detail included in Rin's bio, and that means the world to me because it's nice to see someone paying attention to all the things you've purposely included in a bio. You explore her relationship with her adoptive family so beautifully and still remember to touch on her birth parents and her experience as an orphan. Considering how well you played her the first time, I have no doubt that you'll be a wonderful Rin once again and I'm excited to interact with her! Please make the account for Rin Kimura within 24 hours and look here for more information after acceptance.

izzy (i’m back?? and sorry?)

AGE:

20

PREFERRED PRONOUNS:

she/her/hers

HOW DID YOU FIND US:

i was playing rin and nat, and kind of disappeared due to life punching me in the face. but i missed you all immensely and i’d like to come back if that’s alright with you.

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL:

MST, and um. maybe like a 4 or 5? it depends, really, but i will definitely be on at least every other day.

DESIRED CHARACTER:

rin kimura.

SECOND CHARACTER:

uh, sonata wilde.

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:

i.

Prue is her best friend, and she doesn’t even really know how much Prue likes her. Rin figures she probably doesn’t hate her, but it’s possible. Prue could just be a really good liar. She doesn’t believe that though, not really, not unless she’s feeling really bad about herself. But she’s never been totally sure of her affections, not like Zane. Especially not now.

She knows it’s stupid to be upset that Prue didn’t tell her — out of all their family members, only her — about the baby. It’s stupid, and petty, and whiny, and so incredibly self-centered, when Prue is going through this. She’s not even mad at her. Well, not a lot. She just…wishes it was different. That Prue trusted her. And she knows that Prue would probably not still be nice to her if she knew about Rin’s secret, but she was the one who told Rin about the book and Rin can’t help but wonder.

She misses being able to talk to Prue, mostly. She wishes she felt like an aunt, instead of some combination of to disgusting to touch her niece and unwanted in the first place.

Regardless, Rin loves her, and her daughter, and she would do anything for them both. They’re her family, after all.

ii.

She almost didn’t want them to adopt her because of him. Maybe then another family would take her and somehow he’d stop seeing her as a sister figure and…

It was never going to happen. She knew that. Still knows it. And she’s so grateful to have a family, really, she is.

It’s just…confusing, and gross, and <i>wrong</i> with Zane. And worse than that is what everyone else would think. Prue would be disgusted, of course she would, he’s her brother. And her parents would protect him, he’s their son, and when it comes down to it — please, please God don’t let it come to it — she’s not. And they’re all she has, and she wants to stop feeling this way, stop feeling guilty and secretive and ashamed and jealous and then guilty again for being jealous. She’d rather hate him.

But then he walks into the room and everything else doesn’t matter. He’s just too easy to be with, so comforting and funny and sweet and endearing. She can’t even be glad he’s gone to college, because it makes it easier not seeing him but she misses him like a missing limb. She could never hate him.

iii.

They’re her parents. She loves them. She knows they love her. They took her in, after all, and no matter what, Rin will always be able to look at that moment in time and know beyond a doubt that they loved her then. She has real, incontrovertible proof.

But she can’t figure out why they love her. They could have had a million other children who were just as good as she was, and she’ll always, always be trying to be worth it. Good grades, well-behaved, volunteering, never getting into trouble — anything. She would do anything.

It’s all moot, really, because she’s betrayed her trust, and that hurts the worst. Even worse than betraying Prue, because Prue didn’t choose her. Prue didn’t give her a family and a home. And she turned around and fell in love with their son and there is nothing in the world that she could do to make up for that.

iv.

Rin is sure she could trace so many things back to foster care. Oh, sure, she was always well-behaved and quiet and polite, she was always a bit of a perfectionist. But she wasn’t obsessive the way she is now. She didn’t agonize. the thought of talking to people didn’t rise in her throat like vomit.

Now she sits with a calculator and counts and recounts her grades, figures out ten permutations of her grades that would get her an A, redoing it all to be sure. Now she can’t even raise her hand in class. Now she thinks herself in spirals until she’s all twisted up inside, weeping and shaking and needing to be talked down.

She’s gotten good at being invisible, too. If they can’t see you, you can’t get in trouble. She could have had it worse and she knows that, has been reminded of that. No one hit her, or at least not much, no one touched her or did anything to her. But they still didn’t feed her sometimes when she was bad, and she has no desire to be so hungry ever again.

v.

She doesn’t talk about them much. She feels bad, like she’s not grateful to the Taylors for taking her in. And she is, you know, grateful. But she loved her parents too, and she visits them every year the day they died, and their birthdays. They only live in the next town over, after all, and she can’t just abandon them.

She treasures every memory still. From her home, she has a battered copy of <i>The Hobbit</i> she reads every year and cries when the company gets to Beorn because her father stopped reading it to her there, and she keeps a journal of what scraps she remembers of everything her mother ever cooked with her. She honors them that way.

vi.

She’s shy, and scared, and giving and sweet, and smart. She’s soft, because she’s easy to hurt, and soft, because she’s warm and comforting and loves without reservation.

She thinks she’s weak, and she’s not, because she’s survived her parents dying and foster care and even if she doesn’t believe it, she can survive Ruby Grant too.

  PARA SAMPLE:

(I used my first para sample, I hope that’s okay. If not, I can absolutely write you guys a new one, just let me know.)

So it’s one of those nights, then, when Rin’s mind settles into an anxiety feedback loop until she’s shaking and gasping and her blood feels like sludge in her veins. She supposes this might be a panic attack, but she’s never been sure. The source of her anxiety tonight, of course, is Zane.

For an hour, she lays in bed and tries to convince herself to go to sleep, but every train of thought she has leads back to him. <i>Sleep</i>, she thinks firmly, and in response her hands shake and her stomach churns. After an hour, Rin gives up on trying to calm her echo chamber of a mind and go to sleep. She climbs out of bed, walks down the hall to the bathroom, and throws up instead.

It’s not the first time she’s worked herself into an anxious wreck by a long shot; on a bad day, giving the wrong answer in class can be enough to send her into a tailspin. It’s just that last time this happened was a year ago and Prue sat with her and talked her through the nausea and the time before that Zane spent two hours reassuring her until she felt solid again and Rin can never, never have that again. If they don’t already know – they might already know,<i> please God no</i>– Rin can never tell them how she feels about Zane.

She rests her cheek on the cool surface of the toilet seat, tries not to breathe the vomit scent, and hopes she doesn’t wake Prue or the baby. They need their sleep, not to be bothered by Rin losing her mind again because she was stupid enough to fall in love with her brother.

The hardest part of loving him is how easy it is. He’s kind and supportive and funny and talented and sweet and as much as Rin wants to never, <i>ever</i> have to feel this way again, it’s just as hard thinking about never being around him again. With Zane, Rin never feels like she has to fake something or be something she’s not. Zane makes it easy for Rin to just be, without worrying about impressing him or being judged, and that makes the thought of losing him – to his new life in college, to other women, to her own stupid disgusting wrong <i>feelings</i> – worse.

Rin stands up, washes her face, rinses, spits, and makes her way back to her room. Sitting on the bed, she eyes her bookshelf and tries to decide what to read, but nothing seems interesting anymore.

She chooses <i>The Hobbit</i>, because if she’s going to cry the whole night, she’s going to do it for a good reason. Ruby Grant doesn’t get her tonight.

  ANYTHING ELSE?:

Ruby Grant.

[taintedsecrets-rp]

how active is this rp? ive been searching for a group for months but everyone i find seems to be dying off :(

We are decently active right now, but definitely not as active as we typically are thanks to the holidays. We just celebrated our one year anniversary and many of our members have been with us since day one. We have an extremely dedicated group of people here, so we're very lucky. Basically, I can assure you that we won't be dying off any time soon and we'd love to RP with you!

Admin R

[taintedsecrets-rp]

Just a quick heads up in case anyone has missed it, but we have added another member into our team to help keep things running (she's been around for a while now but just. let me finally make things official ok)! 

WELCOME TO THE ADMIN TEAM, ADMIN B!

Please do take the time to read her admin blurb which. came from a very dramatic and anxious place in her heart. Here's a link (click) if you don't want to go through the trouble of searching through the nav!

She's actually the person behind the last event, which I'm very glad to report as a success! While we're thankful to her for all her hardwork (because believe me, the event would not have happened at all if not for her), we're also very very grateful for your active participation with both the event and the Secret Santa!

More news that is as great as the one before... WE HAVE REACHED OUR BIRTHDAY! WE HAVE SURPASSED OUR BIRTHDAY! WE ARE MORE THAN A YEAR OLD!!! HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!?!?!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have stood with us from the very beginning, to all of you who continue to gift our dash with your lovely presence and your amazing characters, and thank you as well to the people who may secretly be stalking us right now (since there have been a fair few members who have said they've watched the rp from afar before joining!). We could not have reached this far without all of you, but of course, the journey does not end here. We still have some ways to go, places to reach with our characters, and Harwich will continue to be as. magical as it's always been... bar of course for the presence of a mysterious someone revealing people's deepest, darkest secrets. But, you know... that's where the fun comes from.

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays, whatever it may be that you believe in or celebrate. You are all exceedingly lovely and you deserve all the best the world has to offer. Here's to hopefully greeting the new year with you all!

x, Admin Team

[taintedsecrets-rp]

Welcome back to Tainted Secrets, Leslea! Again, I have to apologize for this late acceptance. Christmas time is always a busy year for me but I know how unfair that was to you. Nevertheless, I'm so happy you decided to take up a second character! We all love Jack dearly and I'm sure we're going to feel the same about Harlow. She means a lot to me as a character and I know you'll be able to do her justice, and your audition is evidence of that. Please make the account for Harlow Archer within 24 hours and look here for more information after acceptance.

Name: Leslea (hey hey)

Age: 21

Preferred Pronouns: She/her

Timezone/Activity: EST, 8

Desired Character: Harlow Archer

Describe the Character:

In a way, Harlow is very insecure. Insecure of what other people think of her, takes offense at small insults thrown her way and wanting to be popular. In retrospect, her can-do will-do attitude can get her through almost anything. It got her through the bullying from her parents and from her peers. That’s the part of her that makes her the strongest. Her incredible will to keep herself together under strange circumstances is what gets her by, but it also decreases her vulnerable side and makes her a lot tougher on the outside. 

She wouldn’t ever tell a soul how her parents fighting had hurt her. How much their anger that turned into insults flung at their only child hurt her. Sure, she’d thought of the obvious, that she was glad that she wasn’t the latter 50 percent with divorced parents, but at the same time, when she saw how her father looked at her mother, raised hand to her face, she wondered why it wasn’t over yet. If there was anything that was close to love, it wasn’t what her mother and father had. That was a bitter and dark relationship and all it made Harlow was bitter and dark.

She wasn’t going to say that they were the reason she started cheating. She couldn’t lay the blame on them and yet she didn’t want anyone to find out what she was doing. It was her secret between she and herself. What was the big deal anyway? It was so she could do what everyone else was going to. Get out, big school, someone she’d never met before and forget all about a stupid book that may have mentioned someone like her. It only enhanced her drive, and safe to say, cheating gave her the thrill. Sometimes she wondered if the same thrill she thrived off was the one that her father felt when he was hitting his mother. She hoped not.

When she had spent endless nights crying over her parents, she knew it was the only time she felt okay. The constant hardness she displayed at school was an act. The cheating was means to an end. She wanted to leave this town but the only way she could was putting the face on, the face that meant she was strong and she could be perfect one way or another, cheating and her parents be damned. Her crying was only her real emotions coming out at night, the things that she hid pouring from her tears. It was nightly so she could go to school and rinse and repeat. She only hoped she could keep it up for a few more years.

Para Sample:

It would never work. She couldn’t take her notes into class tomorrow. She never stooped that low and she wasn’t sure if she ever could. Yet, as she sat at her desk and played with the edge of her papers, she realized as one tear dripped onto her notebook, that she had actually been crying. When it had come, she didn’t even realize but it had been eating at her for the past few days. Was there any way she could just erase what she’d seen? A way for her to go back to school and be normal with her peers? To make it through one stupid page of notes and at least pass her test? Pushing her notebook away from her, she pulled her legs into her body, digging her head into her legs and wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to monitor her breathing.

It was supposed to be simple, being a kid. Come home to your parents, maybe just one or maybe a grandparent and you were supposed to be comfortable. Sure, she was surrounded by a middle class lifestyle and didn’t have much to complain about but she couldn’t forget what she saw, what she was told her entire life. She wasn’t good enough. She couldn’t make it to law school. She wasn’t pretty enough. Too ugly, too chubby, too caring, but she couldn’t let this get to her. She couldn’t let them eat away at her. She had to hold herself back but she could feel the knot in her stomach, and by the next breath, her body erupted into sobs. 

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think because she was too focused on letting everything out, trying to vent through tears that were soaking through her pajama bottoms. What had she done wrong?  There was nothing to indicate that she’d deserved this, all she had wanted was to leave this damn town and be better than everyone thought she was. Sucking in a deep breath, trying to compose herself to at least move to her bed, she took one last look at her notebook, trying to wrap her mind around the word. 

Cheating.

Anything else?:

Ruby Grant!

[taintedsecrets-rp]

do you have an age limit

We do not! So long as you’re okay with the mature themes we have here, we’re more than happy to have you.

Admin C

[taintedsecrets-rp]

23rd Annual Storybook Holiday

The time has come again for Harwich’s transformation into a winter wonderland. Every year, local students and alumni work together to create an experience for Harwich’s children straight out of their favorite Christmas storybooks. Whether it’s breakfast with the elves, Santa’s workshop, or stepping out of the cold for a cup of hot chocolate while you wait to meet Santa, every child will find a place for them. Along the way, please be sure to stop in at our local businesses marked as sticker stops to earn stickers that can be redeemed for various prizes at the end of the day.

As a thank you to our students and alumni for helping put this wonderful event together, we will also be doing a Secret Santa! Students should send a message to the main blog as soon as possible to receive their name. Those who play multiple characters may send one message for all their names. Please make sure Secret Santa gifts are submitted under the tag #taintedss no later than the end of this month!

OOC Information:

This event will run from midnight, December 21st to midnight, December 26th, EST.

Students can not switch jobs, but your character is not obligated to stay in their spot all day. They may wander about and explore the rest of the events going on throughout the day.

Feel free to show off your character’s outfit for the event under the tag #taintedstyle.

As stated above, please post all Secret Santa gifts under the tag #taintedss.

See below the cut for job assignments.

Don’t let the holiday spirit fool you— Santa never takes a break, and neither does Ruby Grant.

JOB ASSIGNMENTS:

Breakfast with the Elves - A pancake breakfast served by elves, always ready with a Christmas anecdote for the children.

Kennedy Salvatore

Baze Ashby

Jack Englert

Orson Walker

Walcott Cameron

Prudence Taylor

Cade Hanson

Nate O'Boyle

Carlotta Woods

Cecilia Winthrop

Talya Ellsworth

Elliot Hines

Sticker Stops - Businesses all over town will have volunteers in costume handing out stickers to be redeemed for holiday prizes at the end of the day.

Shane Harborfield - Blue Dolphin Diner

Jamie Kim - Blue Dolphin Diner

Freddie McDermott - Blue Dolphin Diner

Lola Diaz - Play House Theater

Georgia Bray - Play House Theater

Simone Lavelle - Play House Theater

Loretta Beyer - Bittersweet Bakery

Phoenix Gates - Bittersweet Bakery

Caleb Mendez - Bittersweet Bakery

Newton Halstead - Prism

Jacqueline Pratt - Prism

Lucas Lavelle - Prism

Elf-aoke - Karaoke with the elves! Come sing with Santa’s helpers at Pound. 

Patrick Clarke

Brielle Cochran

Lily Cooper

Autumn Carlyle

Devon Ivy

Livia Baker

Annabeth Montgomery

Willa Davidson

Zane Taylor

Reagan Schwarz

Kip Alcott

Howard McKinney

Santa’s Workshop - Come tinker with toys. All visiting children will be provided with a craft to work on alongside elves.

Julietta Valent

Violet Farris

Agatha Gundersen

Harley Cameron

Ki Rhee

Finn Johnson

Darcie Whitfield

Liam Ainsley

Winston Weaver

Otto Koehler

Sidney Reed

Seren Vollers

Laura Anderson

Santa’s House - The main man himself! Come meet the jolly fellow, with complimentary hot chocolate.

Ellie Henley

Theodore Pratt

Madigan Phelps

Hudson Davies

Payton Ivy

Quinn Valentine

Dylan Masters

Luna Cameron

Cleo Stevenson

Jonah Merrick

India Winters

Madeline Austen

Festival of Trees - Come make an ornament and then hang it up on one of our themed Christmas trees!

Eytan Douglass

Duncan Arnott

Nico Cassell

Serena Matthews

Florence Brewster

Ashleigh Stiltner

Valerie Keyes

Kimber Leon

Xavier Hoss

Nellie James

Oliver Rhodes

Finally, keep an eye on your inboxes for your Secret Santa assignments!

[taintedsecrets-rp]

Welcome back to Tainted Secrets, Monika! I'm still screaming and probably also crying because the day we've all been hoping for has finally arrived. Please, please start where you left off with Devon. Especially considering we haven't had another Devon since you played him so wonderfully, it would be helpful for you to patch things up. What can I say about your app other than that it's perfect and if I didn't already love Devon as much as humanly possible, it would make me love him even more?? He's such a special character and we're lucky to have him and you with us once again. Please make the account for Devon Ivy within 24 hours and look here for more information after acceptance.

howdy doody it’s monika

AGE:

i am 18 in human years, but i am not even 2 in dog years

PREFERRED PRONOUNS:

she/her 

HOW DID YOU FIND US:

i was in ts before and i am hoping 2 return

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL:

EST and like i’m heading into break rn so like. i’ll pretty much be a 8-9 and when i get back into class i’ll prob be a 6-7 cause lord knows i avoid my homework like the plague

DESIRED CHARACTER:

Devon Ivy always

SECOND CHARACTER:

n/a i guess??? 

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:

Devon is an open book to anyone that talks to him. It is rare to ever walk down a hallway and not have Devon say hello to you, even if you two don’t know each other very well. He believes that everyone has at least one good quality about them, something that makes them shine when compared to everyone else. Devon brings out the best in the people that he talks to, simply because he is so honest and genuine with everyone that it’s hard to imagine being the person who ruins that innocence that he holds onto so much.

It’s hard to imagine that Devon Ivy has a dark side, but it’s something that no one has seen besides his sister, and apparently Ruby Grant. When he’s in his room alone, he is one of the leading opposers to his mother’s campaign. He’s never too shy to share some secret scandal, or point out flaws in his mother’s promises. He does it all for his older sister, who is completely ostracized from the family because of who she loves. The fact that he even has to do this online sabotaging completely bewilders him, but he’ll do whatever he has to do to help his sister, even if that means destroying his mother’s campaign. Payton means the world to him and he wants his mother to understand that what she’s doing is wrong. 

PARA SAMPLE:

Friday nights are Devon’s least favorite night. They’re the one night of the week where his mom attempts to make everything feel okay in their household by making him and his dad participate in family game nights or family movie nights. To Devon, Fridays are the one day where the empty seat across from him feels even emptier. It’s obvious that his mom is just trying to mask the growing gap between all of them, but every time his mom attempts a “family night”, everything just feels worse. No one enjoys them, but his mother keeps making them participate in the hopes that they won’t all be so focused on the empty chair at the table. It never works, but they keep trying. But these days, Devon is so sick of trying.

He doesn’t know what set him over the edge tonight. It isn’t much different from the other ones. His mom chose a game, Balderdash, and she made dinner and now him and his parents are sitting at the table, awkwardly eating while playing the game. They keep taking their turns and it isn’t until play reaches him that he says anything besides asking a question or offering answers.

“Mom, this is stupid,” he blurts out, placing his fork on the table and clasping them together. He looks at her over his hands and raises his eyebrows at her, watching her expressions change from shock to hurt to annoyance within a few seconds.

“Devon, what are you talking about? This is your favorite game,” she says, giving him a pointed look. He huffs out a breath and sits back in his chair.

“That’s not what I’m talking about mom. It’s not the game that’s the problem,” he says, waving his hand at the board in front of them all. He looks at his dad, who looks uncomfortable now that the game has stopped. He looks back at his mom and she’s lightly pink with anger and she places her own fork on the table.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Devon.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Or have you gotten so used to ignoring the empty space that you’re forgotten about it?” His words have more spite in them than he meant, but he doesn’t let it faze him. He’s too caught up in the moment to really think about what he’s saying.

“Devon, we are not having this discussion right now. It is neither the time nor the place to-“

“Then when is the time, mom? It’s been months and you haven’t said anything about it. At least, not to me. Why is that? Do you think if you don’t mention it, then it’s not a problem? ‘Oh, if I don’t say anything to Devon, then it’s fine.’ Well, guess what, mom? It’s not. You kicked my sister out of this house. No part of that is okay,” he exclaims, sitting forward in his chair. He looks at his dad, who isn’t looking at him or his mom. This just drives his anger and he feels his breathing speed a little. “And you didn’t even stop her. It’s not like this is a dictatorship. You watched her kick Payton out and you did nothing to stop her and now Payton’s alone, God knows where, and she won’t talk to any of us.” He stops there for a moment, feeling his heart ache more when he thinks about how he also hurt Payton. There isn’t a day where he doesn’t beat himself up about it, but he can think about that later when he’s in his room. His parents still don’t know what he did and a part of him wants to keep it that way. He doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want them to know. It’ll only make him feel worse.

His mother takes advantage of his silence and stands up, pointing toward the doorway.

“I’ve had enough of this. You can go up to your room, Devon. We will talk about this outburst later. But for now, you can go to your room.”

Devon scoffs and stands up from the table, roughly shoving his chair under the table.

“Fine. Ignore the problem. I just hope that you’re content knowing that we all let Payton down,” he says, walking toward the doorway that leads out of the dining room. Before crossing the threshold, he turns around, looking directly at his mom. “Y’know, I’m glad Payton got out. This household is toxic and I’m glad at least one person got out before it changed them beyond recognition.” With that, he turns around and stomps up to his room, slamming the door behind him and ending any further talking on the subject.

ANYTHING ELSE?:

Ruby Grant

ALSO i was wondering, if i am so lucky as to get devon again, if i could pick up where i left off with him? i kinda left him in the middle of some stuff and i wanna be able to continue with the arch that i had him going through and if it’s okay i would like to continue with that, if not, i am perfectly happy with starting him over

[taintedsecrets-rp]

So we shouldn't be expecting the Ruby thing for another week or so?

No, not that long, I hope! I'll be done with finals by Wednesday and then in a car for a large chunk of Thursday, but I would say by the end of this week, Ruby will definitely do something with her new information.

Admin R

[taintedsecrets-rp]

I don't mean who, I just want to know how many, considering how many people are actually in the RP vs how active the dash has been.

Oh, yes, I understand, but there aren't really exceptions to our personal rules regarding discussing hiatuses, you know?? I will promise you, though, that most of the people you've not seen around are on hiatus. We'll be doing an activity check soon, so it'll be clear as to who is and isn't on hiatus.

Admin R