#zuchinni rants

[meaniezuchinni]

When my energy is gone, nothing makes me feel more guilty than my dog. He deserves all the outside time in the world, but my exhausted ass doesn't wanna see the sun, so he gets only brief outings .

[meaniezuchinni]

Yes! The concept has always bothered me.

And I think this ties in immensely with (straight) people's inability (or unwillingness) to truly remain friends with an ex (even when everyone involved has moved on/is in committed relationship). And also ties into asexual (and probably aromantic) erasure imo.

As an demi/ace person, staying friends with past lovers is like... a big normal thing. Especially because desire for said person mostly only comes once I get to know someone, meaning typically a long important friendship. Not to mention since sex is so *shrug*, just like playing board games to me, why not play with a bunch of people and try things out.

I'm not just gonna dump an important long time friend because we hooked up one time or because our romance didn't work out. We will take time to heal, and then if both parties are cool with it, we still can be friends because they're still and always have been an important friendship. (Hint, I'm still friends with majority of exes/lovers.)

Not to mention as a queer person (and I'm betting it's the same for racialized POC), when you're the minority its hard to find people who get you, accept you, click with you, and don't actively support or ignore policies that hurt you. Good friends are hard to come by. I'm not about to throw a 10 year friendship away just cause we dated.

People are allowed to (and should) have friends outside their partner. It's healthy to have friends and outside connections.

It's no wonder straight people are so lonely. Any friends that have been "tainted by emotional infidelity" or even the possibility of it, are removed from friendship. Even new friends are often off the table depending on the gender (and attractiveness/"threat" level) of the potential friend!

It's this whole misogynistic/patriarchal/herteronormative "men and women can't be friends" thing. And ultimately, just like OP said, I don't see how it's not about control controlling women.

i hate "emotional infidelity" sfm. straight people's absolute obsession with the firm and fixed finality of the emotions attached to "past" or "ended" relationships, because they view their partners as status objects and extensions of their identity and position, is exhausting

i'm watching a show where it's just. all about The Guilt a woman feels for having previously been "the instigator" in an affair with a married man, and now she's in a relationship and he's single, and he's attempting to seduce her

and so much of the intended pathos of the writing here is about like. the overwhelming guilt she feels at having previously had sex with and at finding this man attractive and desirable even though she's In A Relationship With A Man She Loves

and this idea that her setting boundaries and saying she doesn't want to have sex with him isn't enough, and that she's not saying stop because she wants it tooooo she wants it ohhh she's so bad she wants SEX with a man who isn't Her Special Boyfriend aaagh!!! harlot! resist!

and it's just like. all of this repression comes from the expectation in our society that not only must one be monogamous in one's behaviours, but like. in one's thoughts? one's emotions? one's petty lusts and desires? and repression is like. bad. gay people can tell you that

and the thing that really frustrates me about "emotional infidelity" as a concept is that, dissatisfied with shackling and containing any partner's current, past, or future sexual desires as a threat against the sanctity of The sexual relationship or marriage--

there's now a fixation on like. if you have friendly conversations with or chat to or are friends with someone of The Opposite Sex, or you enjoy that someone compliments you or whatever, you're now doing emotional infidelity

obviously a lot of these concepts get dressed up in more therapeutic language in our current society, and i would say that the fixation on "emotional infidelity" particularly in the past five years is a reflection of reactionary misogyny and the need to control women

and is linked inherently to roll backs of women's rights such as in attacks on contraceptives, abortion rights, trans healthcare, and other assaults on bodily autonomy where enfranchised or protected in different areas of law or institution

but idk like. "emotional infidelity" really bothers me because it's such a covert yet blatant way of stating publicly how threatened you are by your partner building any kind of support network or emotional connection outside of their spouse

and a way to like. make it seem acceptable that it's crucial to you that you completely control your partner's connections to others, that you surveil their phone or text conversations, that you know every minute of their time, because of this "threat" of emotional infidelity

[meaniezuchinni]

I'm honestly so disappointed and surprised there is essentially no Central Park (cartoon) fandom on here.

It's Lauren Bouchard. It's a beautiful, poignant, musical show. It's a mixed race family and it actually adresses what it's like to grow up as a black kid. Owen is clearly autistic.

It's got Daveed Diggs, Titus Burgess, Josh Gadd, Leslie Odom Jr, Stanley Tucci, Emma Raver-Lampman.

It's got singing and roller skating and a cute dog. What more could we want? They only gave us 3 season, but it deserves more attention.

[meaniezuchinni]

Watching "Saving Favorite Drive-In" and feeling so sad/nostalgic. Our own local drive-in has its last screening a few weeks ago and is now closed forever, and I didn't make it out there this summer (or last summer).

There's so much I wanted to do this summer, drive-in included, and I did basically nothing. Feeling frustrated with myself (aka my disabilities and constant exhaustion) and sad that cool local attractions keep closing.

[meaniezuchinni]

Isn't it so fun when you get an email saying "your attempts at signing in have been unsucessful. So, we've locked your account" when you haven't logged in or thought about that account/service for years?

Gee... wonder who's doing that.