#zrs4 radio

[korrolrezni]

"Yeah, look, babies don’t come out like that though, do they? They need their dad and their mums. All three of them."

Oh, Sam. Just take my heart. Take my heart and keep it, man.

[fortheloveofrunning]

Ok so we’re in between season of ZR and I’m not so much “out of things to listen to” as I am “caught up”. I like the main story line and that’s all I’ve ever really followed, but I was following along with season 10 and now that’s done and there’s no season 11 yet. So I’ve gone back and I’m listening to ZR Season 4 Radio Mode, which is interesting. I had been listening to it wayyy back but accidentally restarted it halfway through and didn’t care enough to listen all the way through to get to the bits I hadn’t heard yet. So now I’m relistening to it and remembering that I only ever cared about Don and Bas! And I haven’t heard from them in WEEKS! Where are Dom and Bas!! Are they coming back?? Last I heard was not good :( and I’d like them to live happily ever after with the two-headed dog. I’m sure Hugh and Elouise are very nice but they are getting in the way of me listening to Afterlife On Earth 😭

[chrismcshell]

also "bye, folk" is one of the best lines to ever be uttered in anything ever

[midwestern-runner-five]

I decided to take this prompt about a lovesick person pining for their loved one and turn my attention to the most underrated pining duo I’ve met in zombies run so far. Anyone remember Dr. Domhnall Barra and Dr. Basil Hibler from season 4 radio mode? I fell in love with them because Domhnall is an animal nerd like me, but then I stuck around because it’s obvious these two are head over heels for each other but don’t realize it.

Special thanks to @zombiesmake for putting this on tonight! I missed this a lot and I’m glad I joined in tonight!

[enbeast]

HOT NEW ZR QUESTION REBLOG WITH WHAT YOUR 5 WOULD TALK ABOUT IF GIVEN A RADIO SEGMENT bonus points if you describe a typical episode

i have no idea why my 5 would be given a segment on account of them being sweary, skatterbrained, and mute, but i can imagine them roping one of their friends in as a translator (their number one pick is peter because hes pretty much the only one that emotes while reading their signing out loud so im going to assume him as the main cohost)

5 continuously swears on air but peter just replaces them with the silliest non-swears he can think of and it drives 5 up the wall.

5 tends to use their airtime to either talk about their current special interest (sharks, dog training, various YA fiction, and cartoons to name a few) or just talk shit with peter (shit talking various antagonists 5 has had to deal with, gossiping, running/survival/etc tips and anecdotes, and bickering.

the segment was only a few episodes before they had to surrender the airtime to someone who was even mildly competent but there was a brief petition of roflnet to "let runner 5 say fuck"

they had an outro which was something along the lines of "this is runner fucking five signing out" and while this was given the same treatment as all their other swears (peter used a different G-rated swear each time) on the final episode before they were taken off the air he leaned in really close to the mic and said it with the actual swear.

[zrtranscripts]

Radio Abel, Season Four

Part 6 of 6

DAMIEN: So all you had was the recipe for pruno?

ETHAN: No. I mean, we've got more, but they're all basically the same: yeast, and fruit, and gas, and in a few days, booze.

LEXY: It's not great radio.

ETHAN: And there's spirits. I mean, I've still got the still out back. I've been working on that for a while, and we've nearly got all the bits we need to start distilling stuff, but it's unfathomably boring. It makes watching us level up look like, I don't know, The X Factor or something. What was it we used to watch all the time?

DAMIEN: I get you. So, what's the second half of the show going to be about?

ETHAN: I'm not sure. Listeners, if you want, I've got access to still plans and brew books and stuff. So, if you can ever make it all the way out to The Green Man – we're in the north end of the high street in [?] up here in Norfolk – I'm happy to share them with you.

LEXY: It's the only way you'll get that pub crawl.

ETHAN: Precisely. Plus, once we get that still up and running, we'll have actual booze to sell, rather than just, you know, stuff we scavenged from the surrounding area. And there's mushrooms from the basement, so that's even more of a reason to come and visit!

CLARA: When did we have our last visitor?

ETHAN: Had a runner up here about four days ago. Told us about a big horde scrubbing around Aylsham.

CLARA: A horde?

ETHAN: A hundred or so. I wouldn't worry. They're going to head south to Norwich, scrub around there. That's what they do.

CLARA: I heard the Ministry are trying to reclaim Norwich.

ETHAN: They'll have their work cut out for them. Anyway, she didn't stick around. Most of them don't.

LEXY: This place was a dive before the world ended. I don't blame her.

ETHAN: I guess we could just tell drinking stories. Ah, like that time we decided to climb the clock tower in town, after the pub had to get rid of a job lot of Irish stout that was just about to hit its expiry date.

LEXY: You were so sick.

ETHAN: It cascaded out of me.

LEXY: It was almost majestic.

DAMIEN: Really? You're talking about the time you were sick off a tower? I think I'm going to go to bed.

ETHAN: Maybe. Stay tuned, listeners. Maybe you'll get a hot, steaming serving of nostalgia. In the meantime, here's something to get you fired up.

CLARA: Why don't you tell them about the time you fought off those zombies when you were drinking?

LEXY: Oh yeah! Okay, so -

ETHAN: I don't know. That's not such a great story.

LEXY: Oh, jog on, Ethan. It's a great story! So, listeners, we were all drinking. This is pretty close to the outbreak. Actually, Clara and Damien weren't permanent residents. They were just swinging by for the evening. So, we were on... white wine, I think? We were down to the white wine.

ETHAN: It was rosé.

LEXY: Right, rosé. Thank you. And suddenly the door opens and a zombie walks in. None of us remembered to lock the door. And we're all deathly quiet all of a sudden. And it doesn't notice us! It just drags itself in here and leans on the bar and groans. You know how they do. [imitates zombie groan]

[everyone laughs]

ETHAN: Of course, of course. And at this point, I'm behind the bar, and I'm - obviously - drunk.

LEXY: Right, Ethan's drunk. And he's – what were you doing?

ETHAN: Uh, washing up glasses, I think?

LEXY: Yeah. So, we're all deadly silent, sat downstairs by the pool table, and I reach for my crowbar, and I'm thinking, can I close on this thing before it notices? Am I too drunk? What if we get blood everywhere? And Damien was freaking out, and Clara – what?

CLARA: I didn't know what to do?

LEXY: So, I'm about to stand up when Ethan stands up from behind the bar, drunk as you like, and says, "All right, mate, give me a second. I'm just putting these glasses away." [CLARA laughs] And the zombie's all, [imitates zombie groan] and I'm on my feet quick – because it's got a different target now! - and Ethan. Ethan realizes what's going on, and just chucks the pint glass at it!

ETHAN: [laughs] Missed!

LEXY: Missed, yeah, and nearly hit me, but I managed to club the zombie in the back of the neck while it was picking out its order. I mean, I reckon that's what it was doing. Incredible bar tending, Ethan. And it goes down. No blood, no mess. Then we kick the corpse out the door and open another bottle, and – well, we needed it for the shakes. It's one thing when they're outside, but when they get indoors – ugh. It doesn't bear thinking about.

ETHAN: I tell you, we never forgot to lock the door after that, huh?

LEXY: No, sir.

ETHAN: Well, enough of our escapades and weaponized bar tending. Clara, do you want to pick out a song?

CLARA: Oh. Okay. [clears throat] Hello, listeners! This one coming up next is one of my favorites. We used to listen to it in the car on the way back from church.

CLARA: So how long have you two owned this place?

ETHAN: It's just mine. I mean, I used to own it with my wife, but I picked it up after the divorce. Lexy helps out. She used to run security here, didn't you?

LEXY: I did. I still do, really.

ETHAN: I'd be screwed without you. It's been mine since uh, just before the outbreak, really. I've had to do my best to keep things taking over. I was always more interested in drinking than bar tending, I think.

LEXY: You and me both. Ethan and I met after we finished uni back in Norwich.

ETHAN: [laughs] After I finished uni. You dropped out.

LEXY: He was a jerk back then, too, you'll be pleased to hear.

ETHAN: Oh man, remember the crawls? [sighs] There used to be a group of us, about 20 or so, and we'd do a crawl a month. Back before I owned this place, anyway. The last Friday of every month.

LEXY: The Last Friday Club.

ETHAN: [laughs] Oh man. I wonder if they're still out there.

LEXY: Those boys? End of the world wouldn't stop them from drinking, mate. Remember that one Christmas, when all the buses were cancelled because of the snow?

ETHAN: Yeah. You recreated all the pubs in my house.

LEXY: I did indeed. We had The King's Arms in the bathroom, if I remember correctly.

ETHAN: Oh, it was beautiful! We got so drunk! Oh, on that subject, I've got a shipment coming in soon that I think you'll all be very interested in.

CLARA: Yeah?

ETHAN: Oh yeah, definitely. Something very special. And with that dramatic revelation, dear listeners, I'm going to bed. You two okay to turn off the lights before you go?

LEXY: Yeah. Check the barricade, will you?

ETHAN: Always.

LEXY: Hello, listeners. Ethan's tucked up in bed now, so it's just Clara and I awake. Say hello, Clara.

CLARA: Hello!

LEXY: I've been thinking. You, the listener, don't know what the pub looks like, do you? So we're going on a tour now. A virtual tour, because we don't have wireless mics.

CLARA: I could make walking noises, if you like. To pretend.

LEXY: Good. Do that. So, here we are in the recording studio, which is the old upstairs room at the back of the pub. There's a lot of books in here, which helps to mask outside noise. Not that there's a lot of outside noise these days.

We're all set up around a table in the middle of the room, and every session, Damien and Ethan fight for the decent leather chair. Looks like Damien won this time, because his campaign notes are still on the table in front of it. Shall we take a look?

CLARA: Lexy! Those are private! We'll get in trouble.

LEXY: It's fine, I'm sure. I'll tell him it was your idea. [paper rustles] I can't see mention of our characters anywhere. Hmm... no. Oh! Oh man, Clara, look at this.

CLARA: Uh, at what?

LEXY: He's categorized the zombies. Like, the ones outside? Legit, look! He's got shamblers, grunts, drones, rotted behemoth – what's a behemoth?

CLARA: It's a big monster, I think. You should put those away.

LEXY: [paper rustles] Jesus. He statted the encounter we had with the zombie that came in here. Do-do you reckon he's got stats for us? Like, us us?

CLARA: Probably, I mean... come on! Let's go look at something else. Virtually.

LEXY: I hope he gave me a decent strength score. Anyway, moving on. Up the stairs, we have... upstairs, Clara?

CLARA: Sorry! Sorry. [taps footstep noises on table]

LEXY: Good! Up the stairs, we have our bedrooms. Ethan's got the double bed. I'm in the spare room. Clara's in a box room in a single bed, and Damien's set up on a mattress in the old living room.

CLARA: There are a lot of very expensive jackets up there, by the way. I've been meaning to ask about them.

LEXY: Look, I stole a lot of jackets. The world was ending! I figured I'd prepare. And, you know, if you're going to steal something, you might as well steal a nice version of it.

CLARA: I should mention, listeners, that Lexy's wearing a lovely jacket at the moment. And indeed, at all times.

LEXY: Thank you. Moving downstairs. [CLARA taps footstep noises on table] Thank you! We reach the bar proper, which is a tremendous hardwood thing. We've got a pool table down there, and you know, a nearly complete set of balls. Some tables, some chairs. A stage with a karaoke machine set up on it. You know, if it weren't for the fact that we've run out of booze, this isn't a bad place, really. I'm a bit harsh on it.

CLARA: I'm correct in saying that you didn't have the pool table and karaoke machine before the outbreak, is that right?

LEXY: You are right. Pool tables, as it turns out, are bloody heavy. Donna insisted, though.

CLARA: We should talk about Donna.

LEXY: Yeah. Donna's an old mate of ours. All of ours. And she brought the roleplayers back here after the zombies took over. She had a good head on her shoulders.

CLARA: Yeah. We lost her, though.

LEXY: Out on a scouting mission down in Felbrigg Hall. We went left and she went right and we've not seen her since. Which means, according to the rules of cinema, she's not dead. She's just off-screen. Right. Listeners, if you've lost someone important to you, why not write in? "If."

CLARA: Yeah.

LEXY: And here we are outside the pub, listeners. I mean, not really. We're still inside. We're pretending. Clara's doing sound effects.

CLARA: Um, I don't know what sort of effects you need for outside at night.

LEXY: Owls? [CLARA imitates an owl] Wonderful! Outside, we've got the still, which we've been scavenging for a while to get bits for. We're nearly done. I'm looking forward to some vodka. It's been a while. And past that, the decrepit remains of the pub play area.

CLARA: That place creeps me out.

LEXY: Listeners, pub play areas are grim at the best of times, but I have personally – personally! - killed a zombie by breaking its neck in between the bars of that merry-go-round. So this one is particularly bad.

CLARA: Then it's the fence, right?

LEXY: Right. After that, we've got the fence. Luckily for us, The Green Man was semi-detached, which basically makes it a fort. We've had, what? Mm, four fences, now? It's hard to keep track. We update it all the time. At the moment we've got a bunch of metal siding that we lifted from a boat repair shop up by the pier. It's pretty swish, if you ignore the shoddy welding.

CLARA: And past that, [?].

LEXY: Yeah. Scenic [?], population: sod off! We're one of three pubs here, although the other two have shut, presumably because the owners are cowards.

CLARA: And... that's the tour. That's everything.

LEXY: Yeah. Right. I think it's time for bed now. Can you stick something on to see them through the night?

CLARA: I've got just the thing. This always helps me sleep. See you for the next game, listeners!

DAMIEN: Welcome, adventurers, to the world of Demons and Darkness. You find our heroes in a bind. Two days from now, the evil Baron's armies will be amassing at the gates, and they've just found out that spies are already inside the city, plotting to take them down.

ETHAN: I'm going to take a look for the spies.

DAMIEN: Noglob, you are a master of the secret parts of the city, so this should be easier for you than the other players. Make a roll and add your Notice and Discretion skill.

ETHAN: [dice rattle] Hmm, that's a 19.

DAMIEN: Good enough! You spend the day asking your network of contacts, and some of them mention that they've seen some weird folk in town, hanging around near the burned-out church.

ETHAN: The one that I burned down last campaign when I was playing a Scarlock?

DAMIEN: The very same! In fact, it seems like Scarlocks again – wizened folk with creepy eyes and strange sigils tattooed onto their skin.

CLARA: Let's go sort them out, then. Let's bring Sarazelle's glorious judgment upon them.

DAMIEN: Sure! Well, you all go down to the church, and you can see that some of the stones have been recently moved. They're hiding a hidden passage down beneath the floor.

ETHAN: Okay. I move the stones out of the way and lead everyone down, staying quiet.

DAMIEN: You all walk down a cramped tunnel for a while, before you come out into a wide open area with columns along either side. You can see a group of five Scarlocks, all gathered around a purple flame, whispering and chanting to each other.

LEXY: I turn into a giant boar woman and charge!

DAMIEN: And they run the hell away! [LEXY sighs] Roll for initiative.

DAMIEN: The Scarlocks split into two groups. One group goes left into a set of winding tunnels, and the other goes right into a maze of tombs and statuary.

LEXY: I'll go for the tombs.

CLARA: I'll come, too. I have to make sure they're not desecrating the dead.

ETHAN: I use my Goblin Teleport to appear in front of the ones on the right, and just sort of hold my short sword out against my chest, so the first one to run into me gets shanked in the gut!

DAMIEN: Ethan, that's a fine plan. We'll resolve it in a bit. Lexy, Clara, I'll need you to take part in a chase using the chase rules. Uh, what are your relative ground speeds?

CLARA: 30 foot around.

LEXY: Ugh, really? I just want to kill things. I don't even know, I... wait here. It says it's 40 feet. Does that sound right?

DAMIEN: It does. Okay, now we've done that, I need to factor in the ground speed of the Scarlocks and look it up on the chase matrix. Can you roll for me, Lexy?

LEXY: [dice rattle] Hmm, I got a seven. What for?

DAMIEN: Okay, so that puts us in column F, which means you catch them! Oh, wait, this is the daylight chase matrix, and you're in darkness. I need to use the other one. Hang on.

LEXY: Ugh. Kill. Things.

ETHAN: Music, I think, while we delve into the matrices.

DAMIEN: Okay, Ethan. Just to recap: you've died once, but you've replaced the soul you spent?

ETHAN: Yeah. One of them poked me in the eye with their wand so hard, it killed me. It's pretty humiliating. But I got the other one too, so I've got two souls splashing about me now.

DAMIEN: You know that Scarlocks only have half a soul each, right? They trade half off their patron in exchange for -

ETHAN: - in exchange for their magical powers! Yes. Damn it! Well, that rounds up to one soul anyway, so I'm still good to go.

DAMIEN: Luna and Ethyris, although you lost the Scarlocks during the chase -

LEXY: Thanks, darkness table.

DAMIEN: - you can hear them ahead of you, out of breath, wheezing. It seems like they're talking about summoning something. "Have you deconsecrated the sepulchers, brother?" "Aye, sister, I have indeed. With dagger quick, I have broken the ancient seals. Soon the armies of undeath will march at our beck and call!" "Oho!" says the third. "Those meddling heroes will soon know our true power!"

LEXY: Armies of undeath?

CLARA: Not the sepulcher. I stride forward and kick off my Radiant's Divine Power and start shining bright in the darkness. "Your plans are undone, vile Scarlocks!"

DAMIEN: They notice you. "Argh, curses!" They turn to flee, but this is a dead end, and there's nowhere to go.

CLARA: "Undo your spell, necromancers!" I shout, and ready my hammer.

DAMIEN: "It's too late now, priest! The seals are broken. The plans are in motion. Soon, the Baron will have full control of the long-dead army that lies buried beneath this city."

ETHAN: Hang on! Hang on. Armies of undeath? D-do you... do you mean zombies?

DAMIEN: Uh, yeah. Zombies.

ETHAN: Yeah, but zombies, though?

DAMIEN: What about them?

ETHAN: What do you mean, what about them? They exist! They're outside the bloody door! I heard them moaning off in the distance last night.

DAMIEN: Demons and Darkness is a horror game, Ethan.

ETHAN: Yeah, sure! But it's just a little – [sighs] I don't know. It's close to home.

LEXY: It's all right, Ethan. We kill zombies all the time. Nothing to get upset about.

ETHAN: Sure, we do it all the time. It's our daily bloody existance. This? This is supposed to be – what's the word? - escapism, right?

CLARA: Damien, maybe you could just change the type of monster, to like, ghosts, or ghouls, or something?

DAMIEN: It's part of the adventure. This is a mature game for mature people.

ETHAN: Sure, real mature.

LEXY: Ethan, calm down. It's fine. Yes, it's a bit of a cliche, but I think zombies have been on all our minds a lot recently, haven't they? Maybe this'll be cathartic. You know, kill a few zoms with no consequences? Hell, maybe you'll even hit one of them with your pint glass this time, eh?

ETHAN: Yeah, maybe.

LEXY: Okay, good. Let's press on.

DAMIEN: Welcome back, adventurers. Our heroes are facing off against some terrifying Scarlocks, masters of black magic and necromancy, in the tunnels under their town.

CLARA: I stomp forward and smash at one with my hammer. I'm doing Divine Damage, so does that affect the roll?

DAMIEN: It does indeed. You do an extra five damage. Roll for it.

CLARA: I bring my hammer up in a mighty swing, and roll a – [dice rattle] 22. Which is enough, right?

DAMIEN: Great.

CLARA: And that's 16 points of damage in total. Cool. So I crack her underneath the chin and she arcs back into the air.

DAMIEN: She slumps to the ground. And then something boils out of her robes, like a solid black smoke, glittering with teeth and eyes.

CLARA: Oh dear...

ETHAN: I'm going blend into the shadows alongside the wall and get myself set up for a back stab next round!

LEXY: I've already used up my transformation, but I'm still kind of angry, so I'm going to cut these wizards up good with my great axe, and howl while I do it. "Blargh!" I roll a – [dice rattle] three. That's bad, right?

DAMIEN: It's not good. The two that you're engaged with slash at you with their big long knives, doing – [dice rattle] 17 damage. They open up cuts in your arms, and the cuts itch like there's a poison in them or something. Your vision swims.

LEXY: Not good at all. Another couple of those, and I'm down.

DAMIEN: Clara, the mess of shadows forms up into a single tall pillar, crackles with arcane energy, and whips out a tendril to grasp your hammer. In the center of the pillar, you can see a pair of red eyes glaring out at you.

CLARA: I blast at it with holy energy from my sacred symbol.

DAMIEN: Your symbol hums like angels singing, and the thing recoils in horror. I need to look this up in the divine retribution table. Ethan, can you stick something on to be attacked by a vengeful god to?

ETHAN: Sure. Ha, yes! This is perfect.

DAMIEN: Lexy, uh, Luna's bleeding from a bunch of wounds. You're only just clinging on to life.

LEXY: Are the Scarlocks dead yet?

DAMIEN: All but one.

LEXY: Okay. With an almighty roar, I lunge forward and grab the last one. [dice rattle] I assume a 24 will be okay – and drive his head down into the edge of a tomb for – [dice rattle] 12 damage.

DAMIEN: You crack his skull like an egg!

LEXY: Excellent! I collapse.

CLARA: What are your hit points at?

LEXY: Uh... -18. No, wait. -21.

CLARA: What?

LEXY: It's a Wyld-Dottir thing. I can keep going until the end of the fight.

DAMIEN: Which is now.

CLARA: No way! I rush over there and heal you. I call on the goddess Sarazelle for her healing energy and channel it through my body into yours.

DAMIEN: Okay. This is a Raise Dead, though, right? At this point? That's a big expenditure.

CLARA: I'm not just going to leave her down here to die.

LEXY: Thanks, Clara. You're a sweetheart.

DAMIEN: You feel Sarazelle's energy coursing through you, Ethyris. This isn't easy magic, and this isn't the sort of spell you call upon casually. You can feel your joints ache and your skin sting under the stress of it.

CLARA: I help Luna up. "Come on! We have to go warn the Mayor. Again."

DAMIEN: Seeing as the next scene is a fairly big one, I think we'll call it there for tonight. Also because Ethan's been looking at that package on the sideboard for the past two hours with a look of excitement in his eyes so intense, I can't bear for him to sustain it any longer.

LEXY: What's in the box, Ethan?

ETHAN: Something very special.

DAMIEN: I didn't even know they made banana schnapps. I didn't know that was a thing.

ETHAN: [imitates fanfare] Banana schnapps! Ladies and gentlemen, pre-collapse, authentically-sealed, individual plastic shot glasses filled with banana schnapps! Can you believe the runners were trading this?

LEXY: Yes.

ETHAN: But it's a drink! We used to do shots, remember?

LEXY: I mean, I'm thankful. I'm not going to turn it down, mate. A drink's a drink.

DAMIEN: And so soon after our experiment with the pruno, as well! An embarrassment of riches.

ETHAN: Quiet, you. You don't get any.

DAMIEN: I don't want any. It looks disgusting.

CLARA: May I... may I have some?

ETHAN: Of course you can! You didn't strike me as a schnapps fan.

CLARA: I figured I might as well give it a try. I was never much one for drinking, but – [laughs] it's not going to be what kills me, is it?

ETHAN: Hey, that's the spirit!

CLARA: I'll just try one to start with, I think. Can I put some music on?

LEXY: Sure. Let me get you the MP3 player.

CLARA: Okay... this, I think, suits the mood.

CLARA: I really like you guys.

ETHAN: Aw, that's very kind.

CLARA: No, I mean it! I mean... I mean, it's the end of the world. You could have just turned us away. We're just more mouths to feed. But we turned up, and we needed a place to hide out, and this was the pub where we played Demons and Darkness! And you were there, and Lexy was there, and... and we've survived, you know? Together.

LEXY: How much of that schnapps have you had, love?

CLARA: I miss it sometimes. You know. The world. Back before all this, back when it was all... forever. Because it's not forever, now, is it? Everything's just for now. Maybe not even that. But you look after us, and we have fun! Well, I have fun. I love being Ethyris. I love... I love helping people. I love it when we have fun! And I miss Donna.

DAMIEN: Me, too.

ETHAN: I miss a lot of people.

CLARA: Do you miss your wife?

ETHAN: [sighs] Yeah. I messed that up. I did everything wrong.

LEXY: I miss... chips.

ETHAN: Oh, chips! [everyone laughs] Just having chips whenever you wanted them. I remember that. And cheese. I haven't had actual cheese since the outbreak, I don't think.

LEXY: Cheesy chips.

CLARA: Oh, cheesy chips! I love them! How to get some... how do we... oh.

DAMIEN: I would like sushi.

ETHAN: Sorry?

DAMIEN: I would like sushi, I think. I'd like a plate with more nigiri on it than I can count – and I can count pretty high. I'd like a cold glass of decent white wine, and more nigiri than I can count, and one of those awful shots of banana schnapps, please, right now.

ETHAN: [laughs] Here you go, mate.

DAMIEN: Ladies and gentlemen, get out your character sheets. I have an idea.

DAMIEN: Welcome, adventurers. The Mayor's gone. Left town, leaving his house full of valuables entirely open for access, which is convenient.

ETHAN: Righto. I fill my boots. Gold, silks, antiques, the lot.

LEXY: Me, too.

CLARA: I don't know, guys. This seems like it's not quite -

LEXY: Sweetheart, we're going shopping, and if we're going shopping, we need money. Now, the Mayor isn't going to need it, is he?

CLARA: I guess not. Okay. I take a few things. Nothing irreplacable!

ETHAN: I only take irreplacable things. [laughs]

LEXY: Right. Shopping.

ETHAN: No, food first!

LEXY: Yeah, food. That's much better. So we go to the inn, and I'm like, "Innkeep? Bring me of two of everything!"

DAMIEN: "Two of everything?"

LEXY: "You heard me! Give me two big, fat roast chickens, dripping with fat and overloaded with stuffing. Give me two great loaves of bread, and two hunks of hard cheese, and two jugs of ale - only one glass, mind. I don't know what the others are having - and two platters of roast veg, and two – yeah, two! - jellies with custard and ice cream!"

DAMIEN: "Ice cream, fair Wyld-Dottir? I've not heard of such a thing before - "

LEXY: Give me some ice cream, damn it, Damien!

DAMIEN: "Ice cream. Right you are."

LEXY: "And a drink for everyone in the pub. Let's do this. Let's get loaded!"

DAMIEN: The food arrives, and the table is groaning under the weight of it all.

CLARA: Chips! I want chips!

DAMIEN: There are chips.

CLARA: I pay for them.

DAMIEN: And the food is glorious, and hot, and fresh, and tasty, and crisp, and greasy, and wonderful! And the ale is good, and the company is perfect, and you sing and dance long into the night.

ETHAN: Aw, excellent! A drinking song next, I think. [sighs] Good night, adventurers.

DAMIEN: Welcome back, adventurers. You join us as our heroes prepare to see off the armies of the wicked Baron, their nemesis, and the armies of undeath that he now commands. As dawn breaks over the city, you can see the massed ranks of his men outside, and reports are starting to filter up that the dead are rising and shambling through the streets. Clara, what's the God Hammer Ethyris doing?

CLARA: I'm marching up and down the wall, preaching to the guards, telling them how they're all going to be safe, so long as they stick with me. "You hear me, boys? Sarazelle has got your back!"

DAMIEN: Last night's charity has turned many of the mercenary elements in town to your side. They cheer along with you. Lexy, what of Luna the Wyld-Dottir?

LEXY: I'm in the streets, looking for zombies, leading a squad of troops to smash any outbreaks we find back down into the tunnels beneath the city!

DAMIEN: You find nothing yet, but you can feel the tension in the air. And Ethan, what of Noglob?

ETHAN: I'm on the roof of the inn, which is one of the tallest buildings in town, and I'm surveying everything, trying to get a handle on it.

DAMIEN: You have a good vantage point. As the sun crests the horizon and light shines down into the valley, the dead rise and the troops begin their march, and you can see the Baron at the head of the army, grinning cruelly.

CLARA: I order our missile troops to fire.

LEXY: I find the biggest group of zombies I can see and smash into them in my boar woman form, leading from the front. "Come on, boys!" I, uh, snort.

ETHAN: I stay where I am. I don't want to commit myself yet.

DAMIEN: Okay. I'll freely admit that this next section is going to use a lot of rules, so you might want to put on some music while I do the maths on this.

DAMIEN: Things are not looking good for our heroes, adventurers. Outnumbered, outgunned, and attacked on two fronts. They're beaten and bloody.

CLARA: I kick off another healing burst on the wall to reinforce the troops. Does it work?

DAMIEN: A little, but you're running low on divinity points. You're going to start burning up on your Stamina score soon.

CLARA: That's okay.

LEXY: How many zombies are there?

DAMIEN: Around you? 20 that you can see. You can't tell how many there are in total. Too many.

LEXY: Ethan, you want to do something other than take potshots with your crossbow? You want to commit?

ETHAN: I'm going to, okay? I'm helping you both.

LEXY: You're helping neither. I'm falling back to the inn. I call a retreat. We can outrun them, yeah? I've outrun a few zoms in my time.  

DAMIEN: Well, for now, yes, but they're fast, faster than you like, and hungry!

ETHAN: Don't bring them to the inn!

LEXY: It's defensible. Clara, if you want in, you fall back too.

ETHAN: Guys, I'm going to... [sighs] I'm going to take a break, okay? You can keep playing. Damien, control Noglob if you need to.

[chair scrapes across floor, door opens]

CLARA: What's going on?

LEXY: Jesus, I should... look, give me a sec. Put the music on.

CLARA: What sort of thing?

LEXY: Anything! Whatever's next on the playlist.

LEXY: When Ethan says he got divorced, that's... mm, that's not true. Anna. That was his wife's name. She died.

CLARA: Oh.

LEXY: In the outbreak. First few hours. They got in. He and I were... he and I were looking out for each other, by which I mean I was looking out for him because I love him, but he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. But he left her alone and came to me, and... yeah.

DAMIEN: Why doesn't he say she died?

LEXY: I don't know, mate. Guilt? I'd feel bad. I mean, if he'd not been with me, and stayed with her, he'd be dead. So there's that to think about. But there's a lot of stuff going on there. Christ! I've not even really talked to him about it. He just started calling it the divorce around you lot one day, and now here we are.

CLARA: So, you two are...

LEXY: We're what?

CLARA: [sighs] You know what I'm asking.

LEXY: I don't know what we are. Yes. No. I don't know! Neither does he. I wish he did. I wish I did.

DAMIEN: I thought you two were... you know...

LEXY: So did I, for a while. I mean, we were, for a while. I don't know what happened there. Maybe it just wasn't supposed to be. I should go get him. It's not safe out there. I could hear the zoms moaning last night.

CLARA: We're safe, Lexy. We've got the fence.

LEXY: Yeah, well, maybe it's time I talked to him. Anyway, sort out the combat on the wall. We'll be back to finish the rest, I promise.

DAMIEN: Sure, if you think that's for the best. Let me get out the mass combat tables again.

DAMIEN: Welcome back, adventurers. After a series of pretty abysmal rolls, we find our heroes all taking refuge in the tavern. While you managed to keep the armies outside at bay for now, Clara, the undead inside the city are a bigger threat.

CLARA: This is too much to take. We need some breathing room. I'm going to cast a Barrier of Sanctuary over the inn to keep the undead back for a while.

DAMIEN: That's... what's your Stamina score right now?

CLARA: Doesn't matter. I can cast it, right?

DAMIEN: Sure, okay. You intone the sacred words and mark symbols in sacred oils on the four compass points, and the inn seems to glow as light from the heavens shines down upon it. No undead can pass the threshold now.

CLARA: Hwo long have I bought us?

DAMIEN: You're level three, so um, between 35 and 50 minutes.

CLARA: That's better than nothing. Did you hear that? Lexy? Are you there? Are you okay?

[door bursts open]

ETHAN: She's hurt. She's really hurt. [LEXY moans]

CLARA: Jesus, Ethan, what happened?

ETHAN: Zombies! They came out of nowhere. Uh, quite, uh... a big one had torn down the gate at the front, I-I think. I was out back near the still and they rushed me! I'd have been a goner if Lexy hadn't shown up when she did.

DAMIEN: Has she been bitten?

ETHAN: I don't know, I don't think so. She [?] near the back door and landed on something sharp. Oh, this is bad, this is bad! They're massing outside!

CLARA: She's bleeding a lot. Ethan, I need you to get the first aid kit from my room, and some towels, and some hot water if you've got any.

ETHAN: I'll get the candles.

CLARA: Hey, Lexy? Hey! Don't sleep, okay?

ETHAN: How's our patient?

CLARA: She's... okay. I mean, she's leaking a bit, but she's fully conscious now.

LEXY: I'm okay.

ETHAN: You're not going to die, are you? I don't know what I'd do, Lex. Not if you died, not you as well.

LEXY: I'm not going to die. We know how we're going to die, remember? That thing with the rockets? You're not getting away that easily.

ETHAN: Have you been bitten?

LEXY: I don't think so. Just scratches, scrapes. Oh man, I got hurt from where I landed.

ETHAN: Well, you had to jump off a roof at one point.

LEXY: It must have looked awful.

ETHAN: Aside from the landing.

LEXY: Fine. Admittedly, from the landing, yeah. Oh boy, that's sore. That's really sore!

ETHAN: Here. I've got a present for you. I've been saving this for a special occasion.

LEXY: A [?] 15 year old.

ETHAN: Yeah.

LEXY: Ethan, you kept this hidden for... months. Years! You bastard! I don't see how this qualifies as a special occasion, though.

ETHAN: They're at the doors, Lex. Must be a hundred easy! It's the horde, up from Aylsham. Must be.

LEXY: I see. Pass it here, then, eh? [drinks, sighs] That's good. Get on that.

CLARA: I'm not sure that drinking is such a good idea.

LEXY: Come on. What was it you said? "It's not going to be this that kills me."

CLARA: Ah, right. Yeah.

DAMIEN: Are we in danger?

LEXY: Oh yeah, mate. Loads. But we're always in danger, aren't we? Hey, you never put on any music that you like. How about you do that now? Just to see if we can lighten the mood a little, eh?

DAMIEN: I'll... I'll pick something out.

CLARA: Hello. Is this broadcasting? Hi. [clears throat] So, we're in The Green Man, a pub in [?], north of Aylsham, east of Cromer, and we're surrounded by zombies, and we can't get out. And I know the others are too proud to call for help, but this is a really bad situation, and I don't know what we're going to do. So if you're military, I guess, or you're from the Ministry of Recovery, please send help. I don't know how long it'll be before they get in. I'll repeat this message when I can. Please. Help.

CLARA: How is it down there?

ETHAN: Not great. They're not inside yet, but I don't know how long we've got. We've dragged the tables in the way, but I don't know. There're so many of them! Maybe more than a hundred, even. I've not seen this many since the outbreak.

DAMIEN: We grabbed what we could from downstairs, and we shut every interior door, and... I don't know. Maybe one of the sweeps will come through here? What – when's your runner supposed to come past?

ETHAN: Not until next week.

DAMIEN: Oh, great.

LEXY: It's not so bad. We've got the scotch, we've got all the food in the pub, we've got my – did you get my jumper, like I asked?

ETHAN: I don't want you to get blood all over it. It's your favorite jumper.

LEXY: A little bit of blood never harmed anyone. I'll wash it out when this is all over. I just want to put it on now. I'm cold.

ETHAN: Here, then. Let me help you.

DAMIEN: So what do we do?

ETHAN: We wait.

DAMIEN: Until?

ETHAN: Until something happens, Damien. You know zombies. They get bored easily. They'll-they'll see that there's no hope of getting in, and then they'll wander off, you know? Probably down to Cromer, probably. It'll be fine.

CLARA: How are they?

DAMIEN: They're curled up together back there. I think they're sleeping.

CLARA: Good. I'm worried about her. She's not getting better.

DAMIEN: She should heal, right? I mean, logically. She's got a place to rest, you're looking after her -

CLARA: I don't know. It's not like, I don't know. It's not like Demons and Darkness. She's not just regaining hit points, you know? I can't tell what she fell on when she hurt herself. She might need surgery.

DAMIEN: What if she turns?

CLARA: She's not going to turn.

DAMIEN: Oh, and you know, do you?

CLARA: She's okay. I don't think she's going to turn. I'm trained in first aid. I've seen enough bites to know when I see one.

DAMIEN: But what if she does turn?

CLARA: Then it's one zombie! One, we can handle. A hundred, we can't. I've been asking for help on the radio.

DAMIEN: Oh, from whom? The military? The Ministry? We can't rely on them to come and help us. We need to get out of here! Donna would have got us out of here. She understood how everything worked.

CLARA: Yeah, well, Donna's dead, and we're not.

DAMIEN: You don't know she's dead.

CLARA: For heaven's sake, Damien! She got trapped in the visitor's center, swarming with zombies. She's not magic, don't you get that? She didn't ask for help and just ran off, and now she's dead. Doesn't her sacrifice mean anything to - ?

DAMIEN: Shh!

CLARA: What?

DAMIEN: They're inside! I swear I can hear them down there! The behemoth that Ethan mentioned is inside!

CLARA: They're not inside. The doors here are thick. Everything is going to be okay. Someone will notice, and they'll send help, okay? We're safe. I'll stay up. Get some sleep. Is it okay if I listen to music?

DAMIEN: Yeah. Yeah, sure. Thanks. Sorry.

CLARA: It's okay. Listeners, if you're out there, please do send help. Lexy's not doing so well.

CLARA: Listeners, the zombies are inside. I can hear them scraping around. We need help. We need help at The Green Man pub in [?]. Please send help.

LEXY: If anyone's listening, they know by now.

CLARA: We have injured people on site. We need immediate assistance -

ETHAN: All right, Clara. That's enough.

CLARA: What do you mean, enough? It'll be enough when someone comes to help us! Why can't you just ask for help, any of you?

DAMIEN: Help doesn't come. You know that, Clara. How many safehouses have we gone through, you and I, before Donna brought us here?

ETHAN: How many have you gone through.

CLARA: Too many.

DAMIEN: We should get out of here. We should leave.

ETHAN: How? Over the roof? Lexy can barely stand, let alone climb. We can't fight our way out. Our options are limited to this. We've got food and heat and strong doors and at least a quarter bottle of good scotch, and -

LEXY: No.

ETHAN: All right, no scotch. But everything else still stands.

DAMIEN: So we're just going to sit here and wait? Is that all?

ETHAN: That's all we've got! We're not fighters, Damien. We're just sad, scared little people, and the one of us who could protect us is bleeding out into her favorite jumper because I couldn't stand to pretend to talk about zombies. All the people I love are dead or dying, do you follow? I'm done! I'm done running, fighting, hiding. I'm tired! This is it. We can just stare at the walls. The ceiling, maybe, if you feel like a change.

DAMIEN: Jesus...

LEXY: That was very moving. I'm welling up, sweetheart.

ETHAN: You need to hurry up and die if you're going to be like that.

LEXY: Getting there. Seriously, though. What are we going to do?

CLARA: I've had a thought on that front, actually.

LEXY: Oh yeah?

CLARA: I need to have a word with Damien in private.

DAMIEN: Okay! Welcome back, adventurers. You find our heroes in an inn in the center of town, surrounded by zombies. Ethyris' wards are starting to falter.

LEXY: I'm not hopeful about this, boys and girls.

CLARA: "Nonsense. We can survive this. We've got the goddess on our side, after all."

ETHAN: "I get the feeling that we might – we might need more than one goddess."

CLARA: "One's always been just enough for me."

DAMIEN: You notice that Ethyris is looking weak and pale.

ETHAN: Has she been bitten?

CLARA: "That's just what channeling the goddess does to you. I'll be okay. She'll look out for me the way I look out for you. Now, Luna, you can still fight, can't you?"

LEXY: "Yeah."

CLARA: And Noglob, you've got a soul in your back pocket, right? A second chance.

ETHAN: "Um, yeah. Yeah, I do."

CLARA: Well, then. We can stay here and wait for my wards to give out, or we can take the fight to them. I never wanted to die in an inn, comrades. I'm a God Hammer! I'm a warrior at heart! If I'm going to die, it's going to be on my terms.

ETHAN: Yeah, I'm in! I ready my crossbow, and I check to make sure all my swords are still there!

LEXY: I'm hurt, but I can still do some damage. I heft my great axe and stalk towards the door.

CLARA: And I hold up my hammer high, and it shimmers with the last of my strength. Luna, will you do the honors?

LEXY: I kick the door off its hinges and charge out into the chaos, screaming!

ETHAN: I loose a crossbow bolt, draw my knives, and run in as fast as I can!

CLARA: I follow, shining so bright, the heavens turn their eyes!

DAMIEN: Let's do this. Roll for initiative.

[limepigeon]

Can someone help a confused runner out? [SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 RADIO MODE] Okay, so, I’m listening to Radio Abel Season 4 (again) and I’m a little bit confused. Does it end with the Demons & Darkness guys at the pub? I get to the point where they’re ready to take on the zombs and that’s it, then it says “no more clips available” (or something along those lines) and I’m just sort of confused if it’s supposed to end there? I’ve done season 4 of the regular missions so it shouldn’t be an issue with not having caught up. I guess I’m just expecting Phil and Zoe as the last clips, not the “cliffhanger” with the D&D people. Can anyone help me figure out if I’m missing something before moving onto Season 5′s Radio Mode? Much appreciated!

[shalebridgecradle]

Re: ZR S5 Radio Mode

Soooo apparently S5′s Radio Mode is just really goddamn short, because I completed it twice by the time I’d hit M33. (I was expecting to get more clips the second time through, assuming some were time/story gated, but nope! That’s really all there is. Wow.)

It was also, IMHO, disappointing. And not just for its brevity. It’s so completely detached from the main story that I felt like I got whiplash every time I finished a mission.

Basically, S5 Radio Mode feels a lot like:

And that’s jarring and irritating and the editor in me’s itching to fix it. So I started brainstorming some ideas for a better S5 RM. What-could-have-beens that keep to the “random other broadcasts” premise S4 started while making them...actually relevant and connected to the main season the way S1-3 Radio Mode was.

The idea isn’t to make Radio Mode required listening, but rather make it better supplement the main story and get some world-building on. ...This is probably way too ambitious and outside of S2S's budget, since it’d require a larger voice cast and pulling in some of the cast from the main season, but I can dream.

It’s also a slight hot mess, but this is just brainstorming. 

Major spoilers follow under the cut for S4 and 5 through S5M32! Also a very minor spoiler for S6M1.

1) pirate radio from Fort Canton. (Seriously, what is going on over there? I need answers.)

2) this one proves I’ve been watching entirely too much Babylon 5, but: in S4 of that show, the protagonists start a “Voice of the Resistance” newscast to combat a propaganda and misinformation campaign aimed at them by a hostile, fascist government and its state-run media. ...Sound familiar?

I think I would’ve sold my soul to have Phil and Zoe do something similar--actual news and anti-propaganda, not...a true or false game that ends, abruptly, the second it starts actually going somewhere. Sigh.

3) every so often, the signal gets hijacked/reclaimed by the Ministry for news bulletins and thinly veiled propaganda. 

(“The Ministry has again dismissed rumors of starvation and other deprivation measures being used against Abel Township residents. We continue our work to rebuild and stabilize Abel. For reasons of public safety, the township and surrounding area remain off limits to all civilian traffic.”)

Bonus if these are narrated by Viv, and double bonus if she sounds exactly as Done™ as I imagine her to be.

EDIT: since I first drafted this post, I’ve made it to S6M1 and...yeah, a lot like that, basically.

3.5) some of these should obviously be tied to certain in-season events and not run until the player’s passed those points. I’m thinking specifically of some Runner Five-related announcements that could be done around the mid-season story arc.

4) broadcasts from the King, either highly edited and released by Ministry PR or an unedited copy released by the resistance. (Or both! Although obviously not different versions of the exact same broadcast.) We know the Ministry’s been forcing Jamie to address the nation; I want to hear at least one of those. C’mon. I’ll take any additional Jamie Skeet content I can get, even if it’s going to hurt me plenty.

5) random transmissions from more far-flung spots in the UK, where people are less likely to give a toss about the Ministry or any rebellion and just want to know if there’s anybody out there with the last three seasons of Deep Space Nine on DVD??? Seriously, this is a real emergency, somebody help. You could stick some Afterlife and Hugh & Eloise content in here too if you wanted.

The idea here is to give the player a bit of a mental break and some normalcy, because really. I’m all for small sanity breaks, just...not when they make up the entire Radio Mode.

6) campaign ads for the upcoming “election.” Including oddball ones from independent, fringe candidates that you know would pop up.

[goodplace-janet]

i just listened to zr homefront m13, and (zrs4 spoilers):

with this workout, they did a good job of not giving away spoilers for newbies, but remembering that later nadia doesn’t have use of her legs

i love nadia’s snarky radio operator personality, and wish we could have seen more of the relationship between her and the new canton runners (aside from lem lmao)

and now that i’ve said that, i miss archie again :’(

also i laughed at ‘stay safe IN there’

[pldubrahs]

thinkin abt Them (baz and dom from zrs4 radio)

[korrolrezni]

You missed the part where Sam said he was failing engineering, Veronica.

It's okay, Sam we still love you <3

[korrolrezni]

Sam, weren't you chiding Jody about gossiping last time? You're the biggest gossip queen yourself.

"Um, they only feared the worst for the moment, to be clear. I knew Five’d get out of there alright."

Sam <3<3<3

Glad to see we are all on the same page about Steve.

[fortheloveofrunning]

Friday, April 12, 2024

6:15pm; 77° at 43% humidity 5 mph wind; 2 miles; 25:26; 12:41/mi; zrs4 radio mode; I did not want to run, but really it was a beautiful day and good weather for a short jog. I jogged 2 miles, but did stop to catch my breath. It was good to get away from the computer screen and to move around a bit. Today was very sedentary. I see the value of being outside and jogging for a little bit, I guess.

[fortheloveofrunning]

Sunday, April 28, 2024

2:14 pm; 86° at 55% humidity and 9 mph wind; 1.5 miles; 19:21; 12:53/mi; ZRS4 Radio Mode; ok so it was a little warm but very cloudy and some strong wind gusts. It had drizzled off and on all morning, but I only felt a few droplets during the jog. Star jasmine is still blooming and fragrant. I passed (someone I assume to be) a neighbor who was walking like 3 times since we were going in opposite directions and I almost wanted to introduce myself to him. No goslings today :(. Clovers are still in bloom. Jog was not pleasant. I need to get someone to come with me I’m so bored of jogging in this stupid circle.

You can see in my heart rate that I walked like a lot in this brief 1.5 miler. I’ve got to slow down over all and work on steadiness.

[fortheloveofrunning]

Friday, April 26, 2024

10:55 am; 81°; 1.5 miles; 20:40; 13:45/mi; ZRS4 Radio Mode; This has been a rough week for jogging. I walked A Lot today and it was warmer than is comfortable. Also, there were two dead baby birds on my doorstep so I started off unhappy. But it is important that I went anyway. This week has a 3 day break which is not ideal. My right calf hurt on Monday, but it feels fine today so that’s good. And even if I didn’t want to jog, it really is a beautiful day and worth being outside for some of it. And I saw the baby geese, which was nice.

[fortheloveofrunning]

Sunday, April 21, 2024

9:15 am; 57° at 84% humidity and 13 mph winds; 1.5 miles; 19:16; 12:50/mi; ZRS4 Radio Mode; run was ok. Stopped to walk several times, but I did see the very cute goslings.