#zoë straub

[karaoketracks]

C'est la vie by Zoë Straub Custom Mix Backing Track

[higherentity]

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 70 - 66

70. Zoë - “Loin d’ici” Austria 2016

Like many ranking high on this list, Zoë’s journey started in uncertainty. I don’t know what is about frivolous paperthin songs like these that make people dismiss their chances, but either way, many considered poor Zoë a borderline qualifier. I however, always knew she would make the finals 😊 And you know why? Because positivity, bitches. 

From Naviband to Lake Malawi to Laura Tesoro, Eurosnobs have a penchant for underrating “Happy Songs”, writing them off as silly and shallow. True, joy is a fairly simple empotion. Does that make it any less valuable however? Too often do we take happiness for granted. Zoë radiates mirth from every pore, adorably sprinkling her viennese fairy dust everywhere with every twirl, conjuring upside down frowns on even the grouchiest faces.

So basically, “Loin d’ici” is such a refreshing breath of air because it is so unpretentiously carefree. It isn’t bogged down by the strict standards that the musical industry imposes on so-called “quality songs”. Yes, “Loin d’ici” is repetitive and frivolous and has no deep underlying meaning (other than a shallow narrative about some faraway land), but it doesnt need to be anything else. Its mere existence makes people happy and I can’t think of a better quality in a song.

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69. IMRI - “I feel alive” Israel 2017

[2017 Review here]

Yes, that’s right “LIVE at the semifinal”. We rate songs according to their best performance here. (when it suits my interests 😈), which conventiently allows me to skip over IMRI’s awful finale performance. 😈 However... Imri’s voice breaking to pieces 😍 Self-prophesized irony is the best sort of irony.

Pictured: a metaphorical representation of IMRI’s vocal capabilities

Anyway, am I the only person who fucking LOVES Imri Ziv? I can’t be the only one, right? Leg-day skipping, sexually ambiguous (totally gay) meathead <3 There are two distinct reasons why I love him. The first and more obscure reason is his song. I mean, “I feel alive” is trashy mediterranean dance pulp 😍 with a wacky choreography 😍 and an underlying message that is about Imri’s ESC trajectory,😍 in which he has now pulled a hattrick 😍 Anthems of autofellation 😍 “I feel alive” made for a FANTASTIC closer, setting Kyiv en fuego with its dutiful dance droning. 

As for the second reason, well,..

I’m pregnant. ________________________________________________________________

68. Michela - “Chameleon” Malta 2019

Is your phone operator letting you down? Do you struggle getting a clean connection on the island of Gozo? Or would you simply wish to support our glorious entrant? JOIN VODAFONE NOW and get up to €500 if Michela wins in Israel!

I am still in shock at how GREAT “Chameleon” ended up being. I mean, I had my reservations for the song but give her WATER, SHE’S A SWIMMER

GIVE HER FIRE, SHE’S A FIGHTER

GIVE HER LOVE, SHE’S A LOVER

SHE NEVER WALKS AWAY NA NA

Other than the cutting edge, mesmerizing staging that totally SOLD me on the song and beyond, there is of course Michela herself. Now, I have read a TON of criticism about her performance “EW SHE’S SO WOODEN AND CLUNKY AND NERVOUS NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL EW EW EW DIE” which... only endeared here even more to me lmfao. Like, Michela wasn’t born a lioness like Bilal and ZENA were. She is an introverted eighteen year old who won X-Factor Malta performing only ballads, it is NORMAL to not feel perfectly at ease if you were in her shoes. SHOW SOME EMPATHY!!. You think people would learn from Ellie “Blanche” Delvaux (that shy teenagers have plenty of charisma not in spite of their vulnerability, but because of it), but I suppose they enjoy getting smacked in the face with the truthhammer when their objects of hate prove their undisputed awesomeness. 

PS: this is a mood:

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67. Eugent Bushpepa - “Máll” Albania 2018

[2018 Review here]

Eugent was is another of those entries I kind of overlooked during the preshow and ended up AWESOME. Though he comes with the advantage that I already liked his song prior the live show. Never the less, being Albania in the Red Wedding Semi, I had already resigned myself to his inevitable NQ though when suddenly

out of nowhere

he fucking OWNED the Altice Arena?

and I mean, I was in shock because um HELLO who are you and where were you all this time?? Of course, “Mall” is a good song in itself, a typical Albanian song: a quirky rock ballad that toes the line between dated and avant garde (though in this case it’s definitely *more* avant garde than dated), shot with cinematic precision.

However the main draw to “Mall” is obviously Eugent’s voice. Holy shit I swear this is something I don’t normally care about but Eugent hit the entire vocal spectrum with it, bullseye. He did things with his voice I never thought a human could do. It’s like Anja Nissen... on crack and if Anja Nissen had a good song, likable personality and epic sense of fashion. 

So, the conclusion I want to draw here is... is this the best male vocal performance of the decade? It might very well be. 

shouts to @admanholmo for reading and commenting regularly on my blog! I hope you’re not to disappointed I booted your favourite, but #67 isn’t too bad I think! Onward to (slightly) better things

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66. Minus One - “Alter Ego” Cyprus 2016

Entering with what is one of the BEST opening shots ever in a Eurovision song:

Minus One may appear underwhelming, being ranked right after Eugent and being in a year that has 😍NIKA KOCHAROV😍 in it, but holy shit I was INSTANTLY hooked by that epic close up and never gave up, nor gave in.  Actually that’s a lie because I fell in love with “Alter Ego” the SECOND it was released. 🤭 Thomas G:sson is often credited for penning “Euphoria” but his best genre is -without question- schlager. And yes, this wonderful, unique, beautiful blend of metal and schlager is exactly what WE ALL NEED in our lives. Denying it is pointless. BE SWEPT AWAY by the EPILEPSY

the LYCANTROPY

and just the general dark, moody INSANITY: 

WE’RE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAWN AND THE SUNRISE LIFE IS A MIRACLE I SAW IT IN YOUR EYES. 

I am not in love with Cyprus in this decade, nor do I think they were particularly good even though Eleni may make it appear that way. Cyprus have always been one of the most middling ESC nations to me, but it’s worth nothing that their highs are usually much higher than their lows are low. It’s just a question of getting highs consistently, which Cyprus normally don’t because the hellenic budget usually goes to Greece instead. With Greece going through a dark age however, I think they could reap the benefits and even clinch another top five soon though. 

[eurolifeau]

Zoë Straub

[hulkieswonderland]

okay but i love this trend that austria keeps sending precious cinnamon rolls, last year we had Zoë, this year Nathan, i love them ❤️

[hxxchulkim]

😍 4 goddesses (just add iveta and we'd be rollin!)

[jackqulenmusicblog]

🇦🇹 Austria Zoë - Dangerous Affair Release date: June 2017

When Zoë represented Austria in Eurovision back in 2016, she’s this cute girl who sings in French and dazzles you with overloads of diabetic cuteness.

Well, she took on a new style. Now she’s a fiery Dangerous Arrair. I guess the change in language choice is also surprising as well. But whether it’s the 2015-2016 or this new 2017 style, Zoë slays!

[escape-news]

San Marino: 1in360'in 2. Şovu Bugün Yapılacak

San Marino: 1in360’in 2. Şovu Bugün Yapılacak

San Marino aylar süren ulusal final maratonunda sona yaklaşıyor. Son olarak 11 yarışmacı ile ulusal final yapma kararı alan San Marino, hala Slovakya’nın başkenti Bratislava’da hazırlıklarına devam ediyor…

(more…)

[masonskaya]

Ma petite fille!💙 Vous devez chanter dans leur langue maternelle! La culture pour la promotion de la langue maternelle. C'est de grands efforts pour promouvoir l'apprentissage des langues et la diversité linguistique en Europe.

[borisbubbles]

21. SAN MARINO

Jessika ft. Jennifer Brening - “Who we are” 40th place

It always lowkey bemuses me that it took FIVE people to write this shitty ass song. It’s literally a Ralph Siegel version of “Heroes” <3 

The Eurovision Gods giveth and the Eurovision Gods taketh. For all intents and purposes, “Who We Are” is their gift to make up for all awful shit we had to endure during the preshow, for rare is the selection that reads like a literal fanfic. I don’t exactly have time to recap it all (actually, I *do* have the time, but I don’t feel like spending it on a country I’m ranking 21st, soz.), but essentially it went down like this: 

“Zoë Straub came, saw and bitchfaced her way through hundreds of hungry famewhores, only to hand the ten last mewling imps Siegelfied parodies of famous hits. Oh and the Heroes parody, sung by desperate ratchet cunt Jessika Muscat won over the one entry universally deemed competent, because robots and memes and shit”

It was an absolute shitstorm and of course it led to what was by far the shittiest entry in the entire year. I say “Shittiest” with some affection however, as “Who We Are” is entertainingly bad:   The unconvincing, generic “Be Yourself” message that only appeals to nihilistic gays <3 The palpable desperation leaking through every note and pore <3 The wee robots <3 “HEY IT’S ME JENNY B” which is a totally pointless interlude yet also the musical highlight of the song <3  Can I also mention my appreciation for Jenifer who, after spending months pretending to be her bestie, ruthlessly deleted Jessika off social media mere DAYS after the final <3  What a glorious, beautiful mess.

YET SOMEHOW THEY DIDN’T FINISH LAST <333333

All the Australian gays powerbottomvoting Jess & Jenny B to second last in the semifinal <3 (and the Maltese too I guess, but they would’ve voted for Dustin the Singing Turkey if *he* were Maltese, so no brownie points there, I’m afraid)

But we are mostly here, in this middling rank, because of the ROBOTS. It’s San Marino, so my trash expectations were fairly high. Perhaps, too high? It briefly looked as if “Who We Are” would reach the same “Nichola Murray leads the DoSAC cabinet” type of trainwreck status Fusedmarc and Remedios Amaya had previously achieved. Not only had they brought their wee robot dancers, they also had them hold up signs such as “I’M NOT YOUR TOY” and “JUSTICE4VALENTINA” and at one point had one of them PROPOSE marriage to Jessika (which she accepted!!!), which freaking hysterical. Somehow it didn’t become a smash meme? Probably because of the insipid message they went with over these alternatives:

Yet, for some reason, SMTV suddenly took the song anti-bullying message in earnest and turned the signs into “Sometimes / Size Doesn’t Matter ^__^” and in doing so scuttled most of the laffos potential. Like, ugh, now is NOT the time to become self-aware and downgrade from “hysterical” to “modestly bemusing”!!! Call me anal if you must, but plugging the geysters of gaylarity unsolicitedly is not a-okay in a semifinal this dull and incompetent!! Fortunately, DoReDos were there to make me completely forget about Messika and Jelly Bish forevermore :)  The Eurovision Gods giveth and they taketh away indeed. PS: Yes, “Rain of Revolution” still makes me chuckle at the sheer mention of it (”LOOKEEN FOR DA RAISINS HAMSTAR ON DA ROOOOOOAAAAAD” *ostentibly visible camera crew walks by in the background*). It still firmly holds up as one of my all-time fave trainwreck entries <3

PPS: since i know people will be interested, here is the robotmeme template i made: have fun, hunties.

RANKING SO FAR

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

[eurolifeau]

Pilot part I: On a Sunday (Scene 14)

Monday 18:46, nº63 English St. It’s been a while since they have finished having dinner. The sun is already starting to set. Eliot has turned some candles on the backyard and they all gathered around them. BENJAMIN: I have an idea to keep this interesting. ELIOT: Surprise us. BENJAMIN: We should play 7 minutes in heaven. Everybody exchange looks. ELIOT: Okay. ISAIAH: I’m in. ZOË: Me too. MICHELA: I’ll play too. ELIOT: What about you, Aleks? Alekseev hesitates for a moment. ALEKSEEV: Me too, I guess. BENJAMIN: Eliot, do you have a bottle somewhere? Eliot goes into the kitchen and comes out with an empty wine bottle. He places it in the center of the circle all the teenages made. BENJAMIN: Who wants to make the honors? Nobody answers. BENJAMIN: Well, I guess it really has to be myself. Benjamin spins the bottle. It points to Eliot. Eliot frowns. ELIOT: I wasn’t expecting that. BENJAMIN: Who should go into the wadrobe with him? ISAIAH: (sighs) It’s not going to be very fun, you know. There are only two possibilities. Eliot rolls his eyes. ELIOT: People are gay, Isaiah. Isaiah frowns. Eventually, Benjamin chooses Zoë to go with Eliot. BENJAMIN: Starting… now. Good luck! The four people left remain silent, until the clock runs out. Then, Benjamin goes to see what they were doing. The three come back. BENJAMIN: I can’t believe you spent those seven minutes eating cookies. ZOË: Priorities. ELIOT: Okay, I’ll spin the bottle now. Eliot spins the bottle, tricking it so it points to Alekseev. When it stops, Alekseev jumps out of his seat a little bit. ELIOT: Aleks, Aleks, Aleks… Who should we choose for you? BENJAMIN: I suggest… Eliot interrupts him. ELIOT: Michela. You and Alekseev. Seven minutes in heaven. Michela and Alekseev exchange looks. But they both get up and enter the house. When Alekseev walks besides Eliot, he punches Alekseev in the arm as wishing him good luck.

[lilianeruyters]

Emma Straub || Modern Lovers

Emma Straub || Modern Lovers

  Modern Lovers definitely does not centre around action, it is about the relationships between the main characters. Not a lot happens, which does not mean that the two main couples and their children go through life without a worry. They have their share of them.

The two modern couples in the novel go through a fair amount of relationship, educational, midlife and work-related problems. Zoë and…

[eurovision-austria]

Veranstaltungstipps für Österreich: ESC-Teilnehmer live erleben

Alle aktuellen Konzerttermine auf einem Blick. Hier könnt ihr Zoë, Conchita, Cesár Sampson und weitere ESC-Stars in Österreich live erleben: #eurovision #concert #austria #tickets

Diese ESC-Teilnehmer kommen in Kürze zu Dir

Die Stars des Song Contest könnt ihr nicht nur am Bildschirm, sondern auch live erleben! Sie touren auch in Österreich. Wir haben euch einige Termine zusammengestellt, die in den kommenden Wochen anstehen.

März 2019 Zoë Straub

Die österreichische Song-Contest-Teilnehmerin von 2016 ist mit ihrem Programm Acoustic Sessionsauf Tour. Speziell für das…

[eurovisionopinions]

(As a response to the previous similar confession,) Zoë Straub also looks like Emilie de Ravin

[eurovisionsongaday]

While San Marino undoubtedly has the best robots, but I think this song’s actually superlative is Best Rap Break!