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heebiejbies · 7 years ago

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Lovesick - Vampire!AU

The orginal image is not mine, but I did vamp out Tao a bit.

Characters: Tao (With a small appearance from Lay.)

Warnings: Minor mentions of blood and death.

Word Count: 2.6k

Inspired by one of the prompts from the October prompt list.

Prompt: 4.) Vampires have always been hidden creatures, creating complex strategies to avoid being discovered. You had always believed them to be a myth, something parents invented and threatened their kids with if they ever wanted to stay out late. After years of slipping out of your window to run down the street and meet your friends, this particular night adds some difficulties. Tonight, you don’t make it down the street. You don’t make it a foot away from your house. Because tonight, you were caught. Not by your mother, not by your father, but by a man’s silhouette, and even in the dark you are able to see his blood red eyes.

Note: This may be a little confusing which is my writing style anyway so I’m sorry in advanced for that. Also, how is it that I’m Tao biased but never written about him? I’m a bad Tao stan.

The doctors can’t figure out what sickness I have. They’ve run countless tests, sent me to specialists, put me on what seems like every medication known to man but they still can’t help me. It’s been a month and a half now, and it feels like my life is slowly slipping away as the days pass. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even function daily, it’s hard to even get up and move to use the bathroom. My life is being drained, and I can’t understand why… And he hasn’t even stopped by to see if I am okay. He’s never simply not come to see me. He’s had to come see me, that’s how it works. From the beginning, that’s how it has always worked.

He may not be here physically, but he’s in my heart. If anything happens to me, someone needs to know about him. They need to know about us and our story.

I remember the second my feet hit the ground and I turned around to go meet my friends, I saw him. I saw him standing at the edge of the yard, watching me. His eyes were like blood red floodlights, they shined bright even in the pitch black of the night. His eyes were captivating, they froze me in place so he had time to come to me face to face. He reached a hand out to brush the hair from my face, his hands that were like thousands of needles against my skin. I knew that he wasn’t natural, I knew that he wasn’t a human and I needed to get away, but his eyes... They kept me entranced and despite my best judgment I stayed there in front of him.

He looked at me with an expression that the myths said they could never have, and he spoke to me. He spoke a sentence that made my heart stop.

“Now that I’ve found you, I promise I’ll never let you go.”

I had known a bit about them from myths, books, and movies. Of course then I thought they were purely fictional, but he proved me wrong. After meeting him, I found myself scouring the internet for answers and information about his kind. Most of the information, though, was wrong. People portrayed them as these horrific monsters, that were hell-bent on destroying humans and our way of life. In reality, they weren’t like that. At least he wasn’t.

When I met him that night, I didn’t feel like I was in danger. I knew that I should have, and I knew that I should have been terrified of him, but I simply wasn’t. He felt safe, he felt like home in an odd way.

My heart and my brain weren’t on the same page with him, my brain thought my heart to be a fool because of how it and the rest of myself reacted to him. He made my body react physically, in ways that I knew it shouldn’t have.

I could always tell when he was near. The hair on the back of my neck would stand up and a lump would swell up in my throat. My heart would race and pound against my chest, I could hear and feel the beats in my ears like a siren. My body physically reacted to him being around, and that could be blamed on the bond we shared.

“A bond, it’s something very similar to mates. We were bonded on the night he found me. The bond is sealed when they taste the first drop of that person’s blood. Then, both are affected by it. When he is around, I can physically feel him. He gives off this aura that my body knows and recognizes instantly, and it yearns to be next to him once it knows he is around. He said that the bond is what made me not run away from him that night. He said that the bond ignites upon first sight, then is sealed after the blood exchange.”

I didn’t drink his blood by choice, he forced me to. He bit into his own wrist and forced my mouth open so his blood could drip into my mouth. Every fiber of my being screamed in protest, but I couldn’t do anything to stop myself after tasting his blood. His blood changed something in me, as if it changed the very way my body was coded and wired. He had full control of me, and after that first drop of blood, I couldn’t say no to him. Not when the bond had first been sealed, that is.

“When the bond is first sealed, it’s the time when the two are the most influenced by one another. Whom they are bonded to is called their counterpart, and they can’t be out of one another’s sight for long without feeling physical repercussions. Now that it’s almost a year later, the bond doesn’t have that effect on us. We can still feel it, but it isn’t as strong. We can be away from each other without being affected, but not forever. That’s why he has to come see me, if he doesn’t the bond will start to hurt us.”

What I feel for him isn’t love, he’s already made that clear. It’s something much greater than that.

“What we have is far deeper than love. Love can’t even compare to what we have. Counterparts are very rare, very very rare. That’s why they are so important to vampires, and if a vampire finds theirs then their whole world changes. They revolve their entire life around them after they find that person. It’s complicated, but I’ll try to explain it a bit. Your counterpart is your destiny, if you will. As I said, they are rare. Not every vampire has the blessing to have a counterpart. In fact, he has a clan of twelve and he’s the second one they have known to have a counterpart. They’re not even quite sure how counterparts work because they are so rare. They know the importance of them, and how they affect each other, but that is about it.”

The night we met, he brought me back to their home. That is where I met the other eleven of his clan. All boys, and all very different from one another. He’s the third youngest, so a few of the older clan members weren’t too happy about their younger clan member being the only one to have found his counterpart.

“The first one who greeted me was one of their two clan leaders, his name was Kris. He pulled me aside that night and told me about him, and he asked something strange of me.”

I wasn’t scared of him, but I knew I should have been. I was intimidated, but not scared. His clan members were a bit overwhelming as well, but Kris wasn’t. Kris had a more laidback vibe to him, and he didn’t swarm me like the others did. He pulled me aside a few hours after being brought there and he had a few concerns to share with me.

“Tao, despite being a vampire, is a timid guy. He’s very sensitive and Kris asked me if I would help protect him and keep him safe. Strange, me protect a vampire, but after knowing Tao for as long as I have, I realize how different he is than what the myths make vampires out to be.”

As I previously said, I wasn’t scared of him. The bond was working the moment I saw him, and as each minute passed I found myself getting more and more comfortable with him. Intimidated, but comfortable. The meeting with Kris helped me become less intimidated by him, and now I see him as the sensitive one that his clan members see him as.

“I remember one night, a month or two after our bond was sealed, he came to me one night and he actually cried to me. I know what you’re thinking, vampires have no emotions, but they do. Especially Tao. The bond had a massive effect on him. With counterparts being so rare, there aren't lots of people who you can go to when you find yours. They’ve only heard of one other finding their counterpart, and he was long gone when we met.”

If it was the bond making him want to be so physically close to me, or his state of vulnerability I’m not sure. All I do know is that was the first time I had seen such a side of him.

“He cried for hours, just laying in my arms and lamenting. He told me he was so scared about our bond. All that he said to me will stay private between him and me, but I never knew how much pressure he felt and how insecure he felt about being my counterpart.”

“I know after we met I acted all cool and casual, but I’m so scared about us. I’ve never felt this before, and no one I know has felt this before. It’s such an overwhelming feeling, and it scares me. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you or make you upset… You mean more to me than my own life, I know we’ve only known each other for a short amount of time but you mean the world to me. I can’t explain it, but…” He took my hands in his and pressed them up against where his heart would be, “My heart may not be beating, but when I’m with you I can feel a beating in my chest right here. That’s the only way I can explain this.”

For hours, the only thing I did was hold him close to me. He had his head laying against my chest, that was the night I found out he liked hearing my heartbeat. With his ear pressed against my chest, he would lay there and just smile in such a content manner. It was something I never experienced before, he cherished such a small part of me but it made me happy. When you mean that much to someone, it really changes you. It changed me in ways I can’t even put into words. He means everything to me, and I do mean everything.

I closed my book and laid the pen back down on the table. I didn’t have the energy to write anymore, I wanted to write down everything about us but my body started becoming too weak to write. My temperature dropped six degrees, and my temperature was eight degrees low at that point. They kept me closely monitored in case my temperature went down even more. The doctors are so worried about what was wrong with me. Despite my low temperature, I felt as if I were burning up from the inside out. I constantly dripped with sweat, and no matter what I did I couldn’t make it stop. I could feel my body growing even weaker than it was before, it had been only two weeks since being admitted into the hospital but it seemed like I declined more rapidly since being there.

“You haven’t touched your food, aren’t you hungry?” I nodded my head. “Then why won’t you eat?” I shook my head. “Can you not eat?” I nodded my head again. The nurse looked at me in shock, then quietly exited the room. My doctor came rushing in a few moments later, the nurse scurrying behind him.

He knew that I didn’t have the energy to eat anymore. He also knew that this was coming, he expected it with how quickly I had been declining in health. He set up for a feeding tube to be inserted so I could get some form of nutrition into my body. I knew that once I couldn’t feed myself, I probably wouldn’t last long.

“I want you to know that we are trying as hard as we can with figuring out what’s wrong with you. I promise you, we are trying as best as we can. We are sending out your file to every specialist in the world in hopes someone can find out what’s wrong. I know how it looks, but I promise you I will help you. I won’t let you wither away, but you will need to hang on a bit more okay?” He was at a standstill with my case. None of the people he sent my case to had any idea what was wrong, and as the days passed without further information, I began to doubt that anyone would be able to help me before it was too late.

They had opened the window to my room so I could get some fresh air. It had started raining, but the sound of the steady downpour helped ease my nerves. My body had started shutting down, and I was accepting the fact that I was dying. The doctors would never find out what was wrong with me, I accepted that. I had also accepted the fact that Tao was never going to come back for me. How he could do that without hurting himself, I’m not sure. The fact of the matter is that I had given up on him. That, or I was simply too weak to care anymore.

“Are you awake?” The light from the hallway blinded me momentarily, my doctor came in and shut the door quickly. “I found someone who can help you. He’s here right now, I’ll send him in if that’s alright with you.”

Do I even have a choice at this point?

When the doctor he mentioned came in to see me, I heard him cuss immediately.

“That kid, he’s really done it now.” He came to stand in front of me, and that’s when I realized I knew this person. “Hey, remember me?”

Which clan member is this? I don’t remember his name… But I remember him.

“It’s me, Lay. You’re too weak to speak, so please just relax.” He put his hand on my head, a small bit of warmth radiating from his skin. He pet my head and then excused himself out of the room.

“That kid, he’s going to kill her. She’s on her deathbed right now, if he stays away much longer then he will kill her. Is that what he wants? Let me talk to him!” I could tell that Lay was stressed out. I could hear it in his voice. “Tao! Do you not understand the seriousness of this?! You need to be by her side, now! W-what do you mean you can’t? You’re going to kill her! She’s dying, doesn’t that mean anything to you? She’s lovesick for God’s sake! You know what your absence from her is killing her, you’re her counterpart, Tao!”

Even when all of my senses were low, I could still hear his voice. As clear as day, like a bright light shining in a dark tunnel, but what he said only made the darkness worse.

“You know why I can’t be beside her, Lay. She’s my world, but you know the circumstances… Tell her I’m so sorry, but I can’t… I just can’t Lay. It won’t be long now anyway, it’s all a matter of time.”

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writeformesinpie · 3 years ago

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Zombies And Ice Cream

Tao x Fem!Reader

Word Count - 7.6k

Genre - Crack/Romance

Summary -

You and Tao are in the middle of an argument when an unexpected guest arrives. Will you both survive the uninvited pest? Is this the end of your relationship? And will Tao ever get his ice cream?

Warnings -

Suggestive / implied sexual content, swearing, violence, death and violence (non-major character)

A/N -

This fanfic is inspired by a similar scene in Shaun Of The Dead.

It is apart of the EXO collab The Undead run by @biaswreckingfics. Please check out the Masterlist and the other writers of this collab!

KPOP Masterlist

There they sit all in a row, polished and protected from the elements inside their glass encasings. A collector's dream. Perfect for daddy. Never aging. Never changing. Their creepy eyes unwavering.

Tao’s beloved BearBrick Babies will live forever if cared for correctly unlike your delicate flowers which last less than a season. Their frailty is the draw for you. Unlike these obnoxious toys that he can’t seem to get enough of them, flowers are alive.

Turning to look back outside the window, rage brews as you stare out the window, the obnoxious teal muscle car blocking the view of the garden you spent weeks planting. Is it too much to ask for this one small thing? It took painstaking effort to arrange the perfect garden. You had even done it with inferior tools. After planting your beautiful flowers, you had thrown the disastrous gardening supplies out in last week's trash. The new ones will be arriving any day now. Tools that are sure to make you feel as pretty as the flowers you plant.

The sun room is a place where you’re meant to be able to escape and you can’t even have that. The anger crescendos into a squeal of frustration as you realise the angle of the car suggests the flowers you placed into the ground just yesterday have been run over and are currently shredded under the flashy tires of the eyesore Tao decided to buy on a whim. He might as well smash all your fine china as well, just destroy everything you love.

The floorboards squeak above as the plant killer himself makes his way from the bedroom down the stairs. Each step creaks from wear and tear, a reminder of another thing that needs to be fixed. Of course, instead of coughing up the money for house maintenance, Tao decided to buy a ferrari.

“Why are you carrying on so early? I was trying to sleep.”

If this were a cartoon, there would be flames rising from your exaggerated, beetroot-stained face as you turn to address the oblivious man. He didn’t even bother to get dressed, adorned in his Dragon Ball Z socks and the boxer briefs he found online with his face (his own face!) on them, a toothy grin spreading across his manhood. And of course he had to ask you to suck him off that one time while he was wearing them. You'll never forget that horrific moment no matter how deep you hide it in the back of your mind. Just one of the many ridiculous experiences Tao decided he couldn’t live without trying.

Looking at him, you're surprised by the tousled hair and dark rings. He had gone to bed early last night after throwing a fit about you eating the last Cornetto. Carmel. It was delicious and you’re glad you ate it.

“The flowers.” The words are soft as you hold back your fury, you don’t want to start another fight. Not on the first work-free day you’ve had together in over three months.

“What flowers? I don’t see any flowers.”

“You don’t see the flowers because your nasty vehicle destroyed them,” you say, your fists tight balls. “I thought we agreed to park in the garage, which is why we bought the damn thing.”

The clench of his jaw signals the beginning of an argument. He’s stubborn and even though he knows what he’s done is wrong, you’re willing to bet he’s about to push back, probably bring up something he feels you’ve done to justify his mistake.

“It’s a bit hard to fit in the garage when you practically double park. You shouldn’t be allowed out on the road with the way you drive.”

Bingo. He knows how much you hate to drive. It’s something you avoid whenever possible. The idea that other people's lives are in your hands every time you get behind the vehicle is enough to keep you from enjoying it. Walking is just easier. If it’s somewhere close, like say your mother's house, it’s easier to just walk.

“Well at least I didn’t buy some ridiculously overpriced pussy magnet.”

“Pussy magnet?”

“Pussy magnet!”

“How is that-”

“We all know the only reason you bought it is so you can soak in all the heart-eyed girls from work. And your incel friends that think of you as their God,” you say, your voice pitching up as he tries to interrupt. “Pride is a sin, baby. It’s such a male ego move and you must know that as they praise you, they’re all thinking about what it is you're overcompensating for.” As you finish you hold up your pinky and wiggle it around.

“Fuck off. I don’t have a small dick.”

“I know that but they don’t,” you say with a shrug. You're sick of his constant need for validation.

“God, you’re a vindictive harpy. Why are you such a bitch in the morning?”

“Why do you care so much? Because you know I’m right.”

“You sound like your mother.”

“Fuck you.”

“Two harpies living in the same city is bad enough as it is and then she just had to go and move in just two blocks from us. She just had to, didn't she? Like a leech she follows you wherever you go and it’s me who’s always stuck dealing with her.”

“Like you can talk! You think your mother is a saint?”

“Don’t bring up my mother!”

“Then don’t bring up mine!”

“I can’t keep living like this. Every day I want to wrap my hands around your pretty little neck and snap it like a twig,” he says, venom dripping from his lips as his eyes bore into yours.

“Go ahead then. Snap my pretty little neck,” you say, jutting out your chin in an act of defiance. He would never touch you, not like that. Tao may be a lot of things but he has never hurt you and you know he never will.

“I’m going for a drive,” he says, turning towards the door but stopping in front of the window.

“Just go then.” What is he waiting for?

“There’s a girl in the garden.”

“Oh? Go on, then. If you think you can do better. Run off with your new girl.”

“No, there’s really a girl out there. Look.”

At first you think he’s talking about his car until you see her too. Her strawberry blonde curls fall across her slack, ashen face as she wobbles back and forth behind the teal car. “What the fuck? Is she drunk?”

Tao taps his knuckles against the window, swearing under his breath when she ignores him before using sweeping gestures with his arms to get her attention. It works. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as her head lolls to the side. She starts to shuffle forward, her white slippers with Sheraton written across the side kicking up dirt as she walks towards the window. She must have walked over from the hotel - it’s only a five minute walk from here. She must have gotten turned around in her intoxicated stupor.

As she gets closer you can see her dirt-crusted elbows and knees and a strange red smudge across her nose and her left cheek. Even with the blemish she is practically perfect. No makeup but under the white robe is a black lace lingerie one piece that pushes her up in all the right places, making her look like a Barbie doll. Frowning, you tug at your shirt, pushing your breasts up and wiggling them back and forth. They don’t compare to her and you look over at Tao with a glare. Of course he’s looking at her. Pig.

“She’s pissed!” Tao laughs before shaking his head, walking in the direction of the door. “Don’t worry, I’ll go and chase her out.”

“I’m not worried but Tao...”

“What now? I thought I was doing you a favour here.”

“You’re in your underwear.”

“Yeah? Well maybe our new friend shouldn’t have gotten shitfaced last night,” he says with a stubborn flick of the brow before opening the front door and walking out of view. You dig into your purse hanging off a hook in the hallway, apply some lipstick then follow.

“Excuse me but I need you to get off my property.”

“Our property.”

“For fucks sake,” Tao says, looking over his shoulder at you from the walkway connecting your door to the driveway before glancing back at the girl standing by the window. She turns back towards him with staggered steps, one of her Sheraton slippers lost in the grass, forgotten behind her as she makes her way over to Tao. “We’re just trying to have a quiet morning and I can’t do that with some rando in the garden.”

“Technically it’s just the lawn.”

“I swear to God, woman.”

“Well it is. The garden is the area your ridiculous little car is currently parked in,” you say with a shrug as the drunk girl gets closer, her eyes locked in on Tao as he turns around to you.

“Is this really the time? Why are you always on my dick? I am-” Right as he steps towards you, the drunk swipes at the air behind him, a soft gurgling sound erupting from her small frame. “Holy shit, lady.”

“She’s smashed!” you laugh, starting to walk down the path to the pair, adjusting your hair as you walk.

“Looks like you had a great night,” Tao says with a chuckle, shaking his head. “Whoa, whoa hands to yourself there.”

“Oh, another one of your fangirls?”

He’s gorgeous. People flock to his sexy aura but this is getting ridiculous. You have to be worried about these desperate freaks coming to your home now? This one is half naked and practically throwing herself at him, her hands grabbing at his naked skin.

“Very funny,” he says while trying to push the lush off, her hands caressing him as she starts to bite the air right by his face. He stumbles and they both fall to the ground.

“Oh wow, looks like she’s got the hots for you.” This wanton slut. “I mean, don’t let me stop you, just pretend I’m not here, I guess.”

“She is attacking me,” Tao says, his voice starting to lose its lighthearted edge as his muscles tense to keep her in place.

“And with our relationship already on the rocks.” You bend down to take a selfie with the pair on your phone. “Proof for the lawyers.”

“She’s bloody strong! Help me get her off,” Tao sputters, avoiding her gnashing teeth.

“I can’t help but think this is exactly what you deserve,” you say but after seeing his wide eyes and pressed lips, you grab her arm, pulling her back. Tao rolls out from under her and you let her fall face first to the ground. No guilt; she shouldn’t have gotten blackout drunk, she shouldn’t be on your property and she shouldn’t be touching your Tao.

She moans in pain on the ground, trying to get back up. Well, maybe a little guilt. She does have such a pretty face.

“Ma’am, we need you to leave now. You’ve had your fun. Now this is getting old,” you say as she gets back up to her feet, no more Sheraton slippers. “Just go home and sleep it off.”

There are grass stains on her white shirt. Her feet are bare as she hoists each leg one after the other in peculiar, jagged movements, each grueling step bringing her staggering towards you.

Stepping back, you look over to Tao who shrugs. “Just call the police.”

You pull out your phone and start to dial as he looks around the yard for supplies. He jogs over to the side of the house. The girl turns to watch him, her whole body jerking in his direction before turning back to you. The sounds of Tao ransacking the shed drift to the background as the polite message from the emergency line tells you ‘all lines are currently busy’. Too bad if this was a real emergency. What is this city coming to?

“Shit,” you say, the phone slipping from your fingers and crashing to the cold concrete below. Shattered. Fuck.

When you stand up, smashed phone in hand, the drunk girl is disturbingly close. Her stale breath is warm against your face and her dirty hands push roughly against your shoulders. Her teeth are tinged pink inside her wide mouth and smelling of rancid meat. You can’t help yourself - you scream out for Tao.

Her fingertips cling for a moment before being ripped from your shoulders. The girl flings back a few feet where she then stumbles and falls. Tao is holding a large rake in front of him, both hands holding the wooden handle, the metal tines edging threateningly towards her. As she starts to get back up, you wonder why she’s doing this, why she won’t just leave.

“Get back woman, I mean it.” Tao jabs the rake a few times towards her but it doesn’t deter her.

“I doubt a rake is going to scare her.”

“It’s the only thing in the damn shed worth anything. There is so much junk in there, do you ever clean it out?”

“I guess I’ll add it to my list of things to do,” you say as you both back up a little towards the wall as she approaches painstakingly slow. “I ordered new tools. I was going to try and tidy it up then.”

“I’m warning you,” he says to the drunk, pushing against her roughly with the rake, his back now up against the red brick of the house. “Did you call the police?”

“They didn’t answer.”

“They didn’t answer?”

“That’s what I said. They were busy.”

“Well, try them again.”

“I can’t.” He glances over at you from the corner of his eyes, exasperated as he continues to hold the girl back. “I dropped my phone. It’s broken.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Tao almost growls, his fingers digging deeper into the handle. Pushing back the woman while spitting out profanities, he digs the prongs of the rake into her ribs. She doesn't stop, instead turning towards you, her hands outstretched. Before she is able to get close, Tao jams the rake into her chest, the tines drawing blood as they gouge deep into her skin. “Get lost!”

“Holy shit, Tao!” She falls on her back flush against the manicured lawn, the erect rake sprouting out of her flesh. “You killed her!”

Tao steps back, his face blank, then turns to you. His eyes flicker across your face and body, his hands joining in their search. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”

“No. What do we do?” Your whispered breath is shaky. “We can go buy a shovel and bury her under the garden. This isn’t so bad. In fact she’ll make great fertilizer.”

“What the fuck? It was self defense,” he says, an incredulous look on his face. “I appreciate the ride or die mentality but-”

He stops mid sentence as you gasp, your eyes widening as Sheraton Barbie rises, arms out stiff in alignment with the wooden handle still protruding from her chest.

“There’s no way.”

The wood sticking out of her body flails senseless and free, back and forth as she sways, each staggering step creeping closer. Tao looks over and you both burst out laughing, the image of the rake thrashing about while still embedded within this undead woman is too much to bear. You continue to laugh until she’s too close to ignore, stepping back a few spaces before you both run to the front door. Leaning against the door, you look over at each other and laugh again.

“Let’s call the police,” Tao says, grabbing his phone from the living room table. Pushing a few buttons, he presses it to his ear. After a moment of silence he says, “It’s busy.”

“I told you.”

“Yes, but it’s still busy,” he says, handing you the phone. “Hold that and let me know when they answer.”

“Where are you going?”

“We need to find weapons. Something to use against that- that thing.”

“She’s dead. You killed Sheraton Barbie.”

He looks at you with one eyebrow raised before he nods. “I’m well aware of that.”

“I mean, I think she might be a zombie.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” A loud thump on the door makes you both jump and when you turn to look, the Sheraton Barbie is outside. Her grubby hands press against your window and the wooden rake sticks out lengthwise against the glass as she chews the air looking right at you. Every time she moves the rake moves with her, thudding hard against the window.

“She’s going to break it,” you say, looking up at him. “What do we have down here that we can use? What about your Bearbrick Babies?”

“Don’t even joke.”

“They’re right there. It’s in the name. They are freaking bricks, Tao,” you say, pointing towards the case holding his collection, the pristine gleam of the clear glass calling out to be opened. The banging of wood on glass from outside punctures the silence every three to four seconds. “We don’t have many options.”

“I would rather that trashy, drunk undead ‘Barbie’ break in here and rip out my intestines while I’m still alive. We are not hurting the Bearbrick’s. We have other options.”

The banging increases. It’s every one to two seconds now. The audible sound of glass cracking ringing out throughout the room. “Well you better find something else quick or we won’t have a goddamn window.”

“Fuck.” Tao squeezes his head, the force of his hands against his skull turning his knuckles white.

“Ah!” You dive to the bottom of the display case's shelf, the one covered in a light blue marble. You slide open the door and pull out two large metal boxes and slide them across the floor. “What about this?”

“The Rolexs?” He frowns, hesitant. Another crack echoes off the walls as the zombie outside tries to get in.

“Well I don’t think throwing the table or lounge chair is gonna do it.”

“Why do I have to throw my precious collections? What about your china?”

“The fine china? My fine china? Why would I-”

Another crack, this time right before the window smashes inward. Sheraton Barbie on the other side is already starting to climb in. Behind her you see another zombie at the edge of the lawn, close to the road but making his way toward the house. The sound of this stupid, dead bitch breaking your window must have gotten his attention.

The fuck nut zombie inside knocks over your kaleidoscope-coloured crystal vases and your fine china tea sets with that stupid, stupid wooden stick and you scream out in frustration. First your garden and now your fine china. Is nothing sacred? Your vision starts to blur on the fringes of your eyesight as a wet rage builds.

“Just do something!”

“I don’t think freaking out about your little tea set is going to help the current situation,” he says, lunging over the sofa and jamming his palm onto the wooden stick to hold back the zombie.

“I am calm,” you growl, giving each word emphasis before grabbing one of his silly little watches and throwing it towards Sheraton Barbie. It hits her straight in between the eyes then bounces, ricocheting off the handle and slingshotting back up against her chest. It lodges itself in one of the widening holes created by the rake.

“What the hell? Did you just throw my Rolex? Did you throw my Rolex? Did you just throw my damn Rolex and now it’s got zombie gunk on it?”

“Well, wasn't it last season anyway?”

“Last season? It doesn’t really work that way and if it did, no ‘season’ is any less important than the last when it comes to a Rolex. They’re timeless.”

“There’s a zombie in the living room, Tao.”

“I am well aware of what is in the house, sweetheart,” he says, accentuating the last word as he nods towards the undead woman.

“Well, what about this one? When did you last wear this?” The silver watch dangles from your index finger as you hold it in front of your eyes while you use your other hand to search for the next sturdy Rolex to throw.

“I wouldn’t dare to wear that one.”

‘Oh, great, then this one?” You throw the watch and this one bounces off her temple. Gnashing teeth turn your way. Tao moans, his staggered breath punctuated by moisture building up around his eyes as he holds steadfast. Good. He deserves it. “It’s not working. They’re too soft, Tao.”

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”

“We need to use the Bearbrick Babies. They are good for nothing. Literally useless,” you say, jumping up and running towards the case.

“Fuck that. Hold this,” he says, leading the zombie over and shoving the handle into your hand. Pain trickles throughout your palm from what you are certain will be splinters. “Hold her and stop throwing my stuff.”

“Wait.”

He doesn’t. He runs past you and around the corner before you hear the familiar sound of his footfalls on the wooden steps as he continues on to your bedroom.

Her stench is unbearable; you can smell death on your lips. Turning to look out the window, you notice the other zombie is halfway across the yard. His lifeless eyes lock on the shattered frame.

This is not how you want to die. Where is Tao? As long as you don’t die before he gets here, it should be okay. He won’t let anything happen to you… right?

Right as a tear rolls down your face, the moisture seeping into your dry skin, you hear the thumping sounds of Tao running back down the stairs. He dashes out from behind the corner now wearing jeans and a white sleeveless shirt. Yesterday's outfit that was carelessly thrown across the room last night. There’s something off about him. Searching him over a few times, you notice it. At first you had mistaken the silver glint as an accessory.

“Is that a gun?”

“If it looks like a gun and acts like a gun then I guess it must be a gun.”

“Where did you get that from?”

“Not in the safe, that's for sure,” he says, bitterness on his lips as he raises the weapon towards the zombie that now has you pinned against the wall, her arms flailing out in every direction, desperate for your flesh. “Nope, couldn’t put it there. Not after you randomly changed the code on me.”

“You kept that gun in the house? After I told you to get rid of it?”

He’s upset because you needed a place to keep your documents and all his friends know his combination, which he in turn said wasn’t a big deal. It’s not that you don’t trust his friends, but why should everyone have the code? If everyone can get into the safe, what’s the point of it? And you bought it after all, it’s only right that you be the one that makes the code.

“Yeah, that's right. It's a good thing too,” he says, waving at Sheraton Barbie with a crooked smile.

“A zombie apocalypse is an outlier, Tao!”

The zombie lurches forward, the rake squelching inside her undead skin until it passes completely through to the other side, leaving you face to face with her bared teeth. Screeching, you push against her chest, leaning away from the overwhelming stench of decay leaking from her mouth as the other one starts to paw at the windowsill. This is it. This is where you die. This is how your pathetic life finally comes to an end. What has it all been for?

Fireworks penetrate your thoughts. Two loud pops. Sheraton Barbie falls to the floor with a thud and your eardrums vibrate.

“Gross! What the fuck, Tao!” A tremble rumbles across your skin and you feel pressure like when high altitudes pop your ears. After a few seconds, your hearing resets to its original level of capacity. Your face scrunches up as you pluck pieces of Sheraton Barbie out of your hair. “My eardrums might never recover.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” He puts the gun into the holster and upon noticing your glare he continues. "You’ll be fine. It will settle in a few minutes. It’s only a 45mm.”

“Only.”

“And what would you suggest instead?”

“I don’t know, a knife?”

“And use the good cutlery? I’d never hear the end of it,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. It’s not your fault that whenever he tries to make something in the kitchen something ends up broken. It’s not the cost of replacing the item, it’s the inconvenience.

“That’s it!” You are done. You refuse to be in the same room as this Neanderthal for a moment longer. The way he prances around the house, fists beating against his chest. The way he makes you feel like you can’t do anything right. “I’m going to my mother’s house.”

“In the middle of a zombie apocalypse?!"

“I’d rather die out there than be stuck in here with a plant killer like you.” You grab your envelope clutch from the entryway table, slamming the door on the way out. “I’d rather die out here than live in there with you.”

A pout forms on your chapped lips as you walk down the walkway thinking of all the cutting words you could have said instead, the ways you could have hurt him but didn’t. You restrained yourself yet again for the betterment of the relationship. You always put him first and here he is sending you outside when he knows you left your keys inside and he knows you’re too stubborn to turn around and get them now. How could you when you’ve already gotten this far? Why would he send you out into the cold in the middle of a zombie invasion?

Reaching the footpath in front of the house, you turn in the direction of your mother's house that, as Tao so eloquently put it, is only two streets away. The walk will do you good - the fresh air and the quiet. The deafening silence is just what you need. The empty streets, the absence of children's laughter and blaring horns. The empty red Buick with all four doors open, its front bumper wrapped around the wooden telephone pole while smoke spirals from its engine. It’s all so refreshing. The absence of humanity.

Continuing down the next street, the smell of rot and rust in the air, you turn the corner and run straight into a crowd of the restless undead, their mouths slack and their eyes lifeless. There’s about fifteen of them and they’re blocking the walkway. They haven’t seen you yet, their attention instead on the young couple in front of them. The pair are holding hands up on trash cans that look ready to cave in at any moment.

The issue is how to get over to that side of the street without the horde noticing, because although they seem oblivious to you right now, the couple they currently have their eyes on have taken notice. What a bother.

“Help!” the woman yells out. You point to your ear and shrug, pretending you didn’t hear before trying to creep past them. “Please! We can’t hold them off for much longer!”

And just what the fuck do they expect you to do?

Before you can reply, the man tears his arm from hers and pushes her towards the zombies. Her screams quickly become gurgled gulps of blood as you stare slack-jawed after the prick now shimmying up one of the poles holding the awning above. So much for true love. Must all men be scum?

Turning away, you shake your head and decide to take this moment, the death of another hopeless woman in love, to not let her death be in vain. Right as you step out onto the road, a loud tearing sound echoes out over the groaning of the hoard of zombies.

“No, no, no. No!” It’s the dickless fuck. He’s hanging from the railing. The soft material of the awning now split in two, its nonchalant flapping drawing several of the mob. The ones not eating his girlfriend start to surround him and claw towards him, reaching with hungry sweeps of their arms. He looks to you with pleading eyes and calls out, “Help me. Please!”

You give him a thumbs down and mouth the words, ‘die bitch.’

And he will die. The first zombie that reaches him when his hold on the pole finally weakens digs her teeth into his ankle. It’s his partner. Poetic justice. He squeals and falls to the ground, his high pitched screams soon snuffed out by the crunching of teeth on flesh.

Shuffling as quietly as the tips of your shoes will allow, you dart across the street to the promise of safety and it pays off. They didn’t notice you, instead immersed in the meal already caught. Resisting a triumphant shout of achievement, you continue to walk down the pavement, your eyes glancing back at the group every so often to make sure you haven’t been seen.

Turning back to face the street ahead you’re caught off guard when a lady dressed in classic black skinny jeans, a white tucked in shirt, business black kitten heels and a tan blazer walks out from the boutique and slams right into you. Her face is perfect, eyebrows plucked and lined, not a single lash out of place. If it wasn’t for the small smudge of her red lipstick spread across her slack jaw you might not have noticed anything was wrong.

Fuck. You should have thought of the stores. What an amateur move.

Before you have time to ponder your mistake, hands grab you from behind, a hoarse moan accompanying the stench of wet dirt and old pasta sauce. It’s too much. The thought of it ending this way, sandwiched between this cheap business woman and the man who loves meatballs a little too much, it's depressing and not at all the type of threesome you wanted. You scream. It’s a guttural noise that reverberates from chest to throat in a painful spiral.

It’s a mistake of course. The booming sound echoes out across the street, bringing the unwanted attention of the horde of undead looking for something more exciting to snack on now that the asshole has gone cold. Caught between the two creatures, you kick the woman hard in the chest, causing her to stagger backwards. Ducking from the tall man still leaning over you with his teeth bared, you crouch down while kicking out your leg and slamming it against his knees. He topples over in time for you to turn back to the woman who is now lunging at you on the floor. You roll to the side and let her fall face first into the concrete pavement.

Fuck.

Three more are behind her, exiting the boutique. Tears spring to your eyes out of frustration. Not fear. You refuse to be scared. Scared people act stupid in these situations and get themselves killed. No, you will not be dying here today.

You take a quick look at the three zombies. There’s a queen of hearts sticking out from the breast pocket of one of the old women and when you see it, a glint of metal catches your eye. One of them has a cane. Sorry Grandma but this firecracker refuses to be taken down by an old bridge group.

Spinning on your toes, you dart out of their direct line of contact before kicking the old lady square on the left knee. She buckles and as she goes down you grab the silver cane. Is this considered elderly abuse? You can’t think for long because the other two are coming towards you and the one you took out is already wobbling to her feet.

“Let’s do this, you ugly bastards.”

Holding the cane out in front of you with both hands on the end, you jab at them Three Stooges-style: one in the eyes, one in the gut, one across the ear. In quick succession you jab at them over and over again until your arm aches. Then you dash past them, holding them back by the length of the wood.

“Haha!" Cheerful glee drips from your words as you continue down the street. Looking over your shoulder for the last time, you poke your tongue out and turn down the next street. You ram into another zombie. This one grabs your arm to take a bite. You kick him in the shin and start to beat him over the head with the cane when he folds over in pain. “Just die, you bastard!”

“What the fuck!"

It’s Tao.

“Oh my god! I thought you were one of them!”

“What the fuck!?”

“Oh Tao! Tao!” You squeal, pulling him up to his feet and hugging him. “Thank God you’re here!”

“That hurts like a bitch,” he says, holding you with one arm as he shakes his leg and rubs the top of his head. He’s so strong. You know it doesn’t even hurt him at all. He’s come and saved you. You’re safe!

“Oh, Tao.” Holding him tighter, you let your legs give way underneath you, finally allowing the stress of the day to wash over you. “You came for me. You came to save me. I knew you would. I knew you couldn’t live without me, Tao!”

“Well, I mean, I knew you would get yourself killed out here,” he says, dragging you by one arm into the alleyway right as the limping, caneless grandma from the previous street turns the corner and walks past aimless and hungry, followed closely by her slack-mouthed friends. Tao’s quick thinking saved you again. He’s so brave. He’s so smart. He’s such a man.

“I-” He holds a finger to your lips, stopping you from drawing attention to your hiding spot, and you can’t help but admire his reflexes. Instead of pushing him away like you usually would, you step closer. His base scent of pink pepper, limes and amber wood is provocative and you want the taste of him on your lips.

Grinning up at him, you grab his finger still hovering in front of lips and suck on it, taking it in all the way to the knuckle and making a soft plop sound as you pull back to his fingertip. You kiss each digit, your eyes glued to his. The quirk of his brow is the only response as you kiss up his hand, his arm and his shoulder. A glint of something you haven’t seen in months flickers across his face before he pulls you into his embrace, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other circling your neck.

It’s fire. The look in his eyes. The look he lost. It’s desire in its rawest form. He wants you and you can’t blame him - you’re quite the catch - but after today you can admit that he is too. A hero. The type of man you can depend on no matter the situation.

Biting your lip, you lean into his chest. An animalistic urge to take him where you stand in this dirty back alley, wild and free of worry, builds up inside, right next to the searing heat within your gut. Heat that threatens to spread like wildfire and burn you both down for being so foolish to play with matches in the forest. The type of fire that leaves nothing. Spontaneous and unyielding.

Your thoughts start to muddle as his lips press against yours with the same desperate need that mirrors your own. Your hands grasp with reckless lust, clawing at this shirt, needing skin to skin contact. His chest is tight under your fingertips that mark and claim his body. He belongs to you and to you alone and you wonder why things were even going south lately. He’s fucking sexy. The burning desire and aching love you feel for Tao now might well be the same as the first time you realized he was your one love, your other half.

He places creamy kisses across your neck before biting your bottom lip. He sucks on your tongue as he squeezes your ass. The taste of him is salty and bitter like that of a margarita on a warm summer's night. A small moan exits your lips and his eyes shift to the entryway of the alley before he pulls you closer, your hips flush against his as he lifts you like a doll, defenseless in his arms. Defenseless but safe. His toned arms engulf you as he continues to fuck your mouth with his magic tongue and you can’t help but think of all the things you want him to do with it.

As if the heavens themselves are opening up for you, a light drizzle of rain starts to fall upon you, deepening the romance. The dark cramped alley, Tao covered in blood, and now it's raining; it’s as if you are in a movie. A romantic comedy, Tao and you the stars. The signs out on display, it was fate that you and your soulmate had saved each other from a fate worse than death.

Grinding against him, you nip at his tongue with a muted chuckle, your swollen lips crushing against his. Then his sweet, salty taste starts to change into something less appealing. Something… sour, acidic yet metallic.

“What the hell?” Separating, you both look up, the romantic rain actually rusty, red water coming from the pipe off the gutter above you. It stains your clothes, Tao’s white shirt turning an atrocious shade of pink.

“It suits you,” you say, laughing before slapping a hand over your mouth and looking down the alley. No movement. Yet.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s hilarious,” he whispers with a tilt of irritation on his lips. He grabs your hand, entwining his fingers with yours as he leads you back to the street's entrance. “Let’s go home.”

“Okay.” Although you are closer to your mother's place you don’t argue, knowing he must have one thing in mind for when you return, your hearts and bodies now aligned. He needs you as much as you need him and you’ve proven that today. After all he was your saviour, your knight in shining armour, cutting through the hordes of beasts in the way of his one true love. He’s amazing.

“Jesus Christ,” he says under his breath as he looks down the street. His face is scrunched up in pain as he says, “That guy's dick has been chewed straight off.”

“He really is a dickless fuck.” When Tao quirks his brow, you shake your head. “It’s what he deserved. Believe me.”

Making your way back down the streets that separate you from your home, Tao is ready to jump in front of you whenever danger strikes. Although there are less zombies on the way home, there is a close call with a Chihuahua. Once the crisis is averted, Tao limps down the street in remembrance of his brave act. It takes less time to return. Most of the zombies wandering the streets are in pairs or alone, easy to evade.

As you turn onto your own street, your home in view, you lean into Tao and let him guide you up your driveway with your fingers still entwined with his. Nothing can ruin this moment. Not the broken window or the dead zombie slumped under said window, not even the crushed flowers under Tao’s ridiculously overpriced pussy magnet muscle car. And although yes, a small part of you was hoping that he would carry you inside bridal-style, you don’t let that get to you either, because nothing is perfect and that’s okay. It’s okay because it's almost perfect.

You don’t let the fact that Tao didn’t remove Sheraton Barbie from the living room get to you. It’s not like you’re strong enough to get her out of here, anyway. A delicate flower like you should be taken care of and you know you will be. You know that Tao will get rid of her soon. He was just in too much of a rush to come and find you. If the house looked like he had cleaned up, it would be suspicious. Kind of like the fact that his watches are all put back inside the case inside the glass cabinet. His watches are all safe and packed away. How lovely.

No, you refuse to be brought down in this moment, a moment of pure bliss by anything. Not even by Tao turning on the TV and flipping through the channels.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to see if there’s any news about what’s been happening,” he says with a frown as he stares at the television, each channel providing the same blank static as the next.

“I thought we were gonna, you know,” you mutter, touching the ends of your pointer fingers together. “I mean, that whole rescue thing got me pretty hot.”

“Yeah, it’s hot out there.” He continues to switch through channels as he walks over to the bookcase behind the couch, grabbing the ancient satellite radio.

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“What?”

“We had a moment, Tao! What about our moment? It was romantic!”

“Are you crazy?” He is looking at you now, finally paying attention to you. “Are you talking about that psycho move you pulled in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse that ended in us being drowned in rusty pipe water? That romantic moment?”

“Yes, Tao! It was a sign that we are meant to be together. Didn’t you feel it?”

“A sign?” he laughs, shaking his head while fiddling with the radio. “I felt an intense desire to fuck my kinky wife who was obviously going off the rails after dealing with this whole traumatic event and you obviously needed comfort and who was I to deny you that? But a sign? It’s literal Armageddon out there and I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“It needs batteries and we have none that size in the house.”

“What?”

“The bloody radio, arsehole,” you yell, turning your back to hide your tears. How had he not felt it? It was as if he hadn’t been there with you at all. It was like magic and he was denying everything you felt. “I thought you cared about this marriage. I thought you cared about us.”

“Hey.” He wraps his arms around you, squeezing you tight enough that you can’t breathe for a moment as he lifts you in the air and swings you around. “I do care about this marriage.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“You know, when you left I thought, 'Good riddance, and don’t come back.'” He ignores your huff as he continues, “I did. I thought about how peaceful it would be without you. But then the longer you were gone, the more deafening the silence became. There was a knot forming in my chest and all I could think about was what I was meant to do without you if you didn’t return.”

“Really?”

“Of course, you idiot.” He pushes his pointer finger against your cheekbone before lightly touching his forehead to yours, your breath connected in unison. “I didn’t realize it was that bad out there or I wouldn’t have let you leave at all.”

“As if you could have stopped me,” you say, biting the inside of your lip.

“You think I couldn’t have?”

His eyes sparkle with a mischievous gleam, a smirk spreading across his face as he spins you towards the recliner and pins you underneath him. Leaning close he whispers your name as he brushes his lips against yours. Squeezing your ass, your hips lift up to his as he deepens the kiss, his tongue dancing with yours, singing a song only they know the words to. Your hand digs into his hair and you suck on his tasty lips before he pulls back with a start. He leaps up to his feet and walks towards the door.

“What? Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the store - do you want anything?”

“Are you serious right now? I swear to God,” you say the words behind clenched teeth, your hands balled up into little fists. How can this man be so oblivious? “Also I don’t know if you noticed this but there just so happen to be zombies out there!”

“Yeah? So? I want a Cornetto. I think I work hard enough for this household to give myself a treat.”

“Oh and I don’t, I guess. It’s always I work so hard. I do this. Well I work hard, too! I cook, I clean. I do a lot around here and I am sick of your condescending attitude!”

“Listen. I’m going to get some batteries and a Cornetto and at this point I might not get you anything!”

“Get me some chocolate milk. The expensive one. The cheap ones upset my tummy,” you say with a pout.

“Anything for my princess.” He kisses you on the temple with a sly chuckle before saying, “And when I get back we can fuck since I know you want to so bad.”

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this content! If you did, please consider liking, commenting, reblogging and/or following, and check out my masterlist for similar content. Have a great day!

#tao x reader #tao smut #zitao x reader #zitao smut #huang zitao #exo smut #kpop smut #exo x reader #huang zitao x reader #huang zitao smut #exo fluff #exo crack #exo fanfic #exo zombie au #kpop zombie au #kpop crack #kpop collab #exo collab #writeformesinpie

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yehet-me-up · 4 years ago

Text

Fractions of Tomorrow

Pairing: Zitao/Reader (female)

Word Count: 10,249

Rating/Warnings: PG13

Summary: They always say opposites attract but you and Tao are putting that theory to the test. He works nights at Flanagan’s, you work the crack of dawn shift at Starbucks. He wears leather jackets, sings in a rock band, and drives a motorcycle. You prefer Keds to Chucks, study poetry at UW, and ride a pastel purple bike across town. Luckily, he’s not someone who’s afraid of a challenge.

When Baekhyun dares you and Tao to test the idea that two people can fall in love in one night you don’t expect to care so much, so fast. And when the sun rises all you can hope is that he feels the same.

Part seven of the Exodus Mall series (Can be read independently, but you’ll get some extra backstory if you read the other parts first!)

February 28, 1997

His head aches, body still reeling from the alcohol he drank far too much of the night before. The line at Starbucks is endlessly long and he groans. If he was responsible he’d go to the grocery across the street and get a decent breakfast. But his brain needs a substitute for the gin he was coerced into last night by his friends and it will only accept caffeine as an offering.

A saccharine song pours in from the speakers and people around him clear their throats or rustle in their pockets and the sheer noise of the morning grates against him. He’s a creature of the night; he finds other humans far more tolerable without the sun beating down on him. Only desperation pulled him from his hangover to acquire the nectar of the gods. He taps his foot and shrugs his jacket further up his body, hoping the collar will keep the bright light pouring in from the tall windows from reaching him.

A sweet voice breaks through the din and he turns to watch you, drawn by the warmth of the sound. It’s not his first time here, but it’s his first time paying attention. In the thriving ecosystem of the Exodus Mall everyone’s a friend of a friend of a cousin of someone and he distantly remembers you’re related to one of Baekhyun’s friends.

Maybe it’s the way early mornings after late nights distort the world, making everything feel hazy like a dream. Maybe it’s the fact that he went home alone last night, yet again. Maybe it’s the bright, energetic shine in your eyes, astounding for the pre-eight-am time. Or maybe it’s the dimple in your cheek when you smile at the customer, writing his name on the cup and passing it to your co-workers.

When the man moves aside and you turn your focus on Tao, for whatever reason, his intuition tells him to notice. Maybe it’s an illusion, but today feels different. You feel different.

‘Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?’

He opens his mouth, unsure what to say. For a long beat he simply observes you. The little hearts drawn around your name on your name tag. He rolls it around in his mind, matching your face with the word, almost saying it aloud. A dangerous proposition. A door he should leave shut.

Someone coughs behind him and he shakes his head, stepping forward. ‘Just a big Americano please. As big as possible.’ His voice is thick and his throat dry. One day he’ll remember to drink a glass of water before bed after getting drunk.

You nod, reaching to the stack of cups. ‘A grande?’

He swallows to wet his throat. ‘Sure.’

‘Name?’

With a deep inhale he smells last night’s cologne still clinging to his skin. God he needs to get his shit together, he thinks with a sigh. His general state of dishevelment is even more noticeable next to you. He wonders if you ironed the collar of your shirt to be that precise or if you simply move through the world without acquiring any wrinkles.

‘Zitao,’ he says finally.

‘Cute.’ You say it under your breath but he still hears. His eyes go wide, his sluggish mind coming awake. After handing the cup to your co-worker you say the total. ‘That’ll be four oh two please.’

Automatically he reaches into his pocket for his wallet and pulls out the five dollar bill. He knows he’s staring like an idiot but he can’t help it. You hand him his change and on reflex he drops it into the tip jar. Service industry solidarity, he thinks with a half-smile.

The smile on your face blossoms; tentative at first, it grows when his eyes meet yours again. ‘Thank you!’ You pull a small coffee can out from beside the register and hold it out to him. ‘Anyone who tips gets a poem.’

He stares at the can and the slips of paper neatly folded within. Amusement fills him and he reaches for one at random, his fingers brushing yours as he pulls back. The sensation makes him want to linger. How long has it been since he touched someone, in the daylight? Since he wanted to hold and be held? Tao tells himself it doesn’t matter. It can’t. He’s got plans to leave Seattle and he doesn’t need anything tethering him here.

Before he embarasses himself he slides the paper into his pocket with a nod and moves on down the line. As he waits for his drink he keeps his focus on you. The efficiency of your motions and the genuine happiness on your face as you take order after order on the busy Friday morning. People come and go around him but he leans against the wall, waiting, thinking.

Finally his drink is done and the cup spreads heat along his chilled palms. The world is too sharp and demanding and the thought of a day full of errands on too little sleep followed by a full shift at the bar drags at him. But the smell of coffee and your smile and the mystery poem in his pocket are life preservers thrown to him today. He clings to them with both hands to keep himself afloat.

On his way out he finally reads the poem you’ve gifted to him. The writing is done with small, neat lettering and he knows it’s yours.

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.

There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.

You feel it, don’t you?

- Rumi

With a groan he pushes out the door with his shoulder, blinking on the too-bright sidewalk. It’s too early to feel so raw and exposed, he decides.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday July 18, 1997

You trail into Flanagan’s Pub after Baekhyun and your sister, Hitchcock. It’s not her real name, but she’s had the nickname so long it might as well be. As always, they argue about movies. As always, you’re the third wheel. Not that they’re actually dating. But everyone agrees they should.

‘Come on, it was brilliant.’ Baekhyun waves his hands dramatically as you wind your way around the crowded bar after them.

‘I’m not saying it wasn’t,’ she responds. They slide into a booth opposite each other and you follow after your sister. ‘All I’m saying is it’s unrealistic, that’s all.’

Baekhyun scoffs, offended. ‘As if realism was the point here.’ You unfold the drink menu while he carries on, undeterred. ‘I know you’re not a hopeless romantic like myself, but are you honestly telling me that you don’t think it’s possible?’

Tonight’s Friday-movie-night tradition was your first viewing of The Fifth Element and Korben and Leeloo’s instant connection has revived their years-long argument about love at first sight. You roll your eyes when your sister shakes her head, leaning forward to tease him. She’s told you about her crush on Baekhyun, her best friend. For someone who’s been in love for as long as you can remember she fights awfully hard against Baekhyun’s romantic nature. Methinks the lady doth protest too much…

‘Look at Before Sunrise,’ Baekhyun says with a click of his tongue. ‘One night and they fell in love.’

She hums and scans the menu. ‘So what? It’s just one night. Show me what happens ten years later. After they see each other with messy morning hair and when he leaves dishes in the sink or, I don’t know, when she bites her nails.’ Baekhyun huffs and she smothers a laugh. ‘Let’s see how that instant love does after it’s put to the test. I’m not saying it isn’t possible, I’m just saying one night doesn’t mean it will stand the test of time, that’s all.’ She folds her menu and rests her elbows on the table, looking incredibly smug.

Baekhyun opens his mouth to argue but the server arrives and interrupts his tirade. ‘What can I get for you?’

The gravelly voice is familiar and your eyes widen in surprise when you see Tao towering over the table. Quickly you look away, back to the dark wood table.

You’ve noticed him before - at Starbucks, at parties at Baek’s from a distance, at Moe’s ages ago - but tonight he’s so cleaned up you hardly recognize him. Gone are the bags under his eyes and the nervous, jittery, curmudgeon energy that seemed to hang over him like a dark cloud. Tonight his eyes are alert and crinkle at the corner when he smiles broadly and you can’t help but notice. A very bad idea.

‘Hey man, how’s it going?’ Baekhyun reaches out and does a complex handshake with the man before you.

‘Oh, you know. Just working at the salt mines,’ Tao says with a laugh. ‘Are you coming to Chan and Soo’s party tomorrow night?’

‘You know it. I wouldn’t miss your big send off. My man here is taking off on a national tour on Sunday. Local boy making it big!’ Baekhyun gives Tao a friendly punch on the arm before drumming his fingers on the table and raising a brow. ‘Since you’re here, maybe you can settle an argument for us.’

Tao darts a look to you and clears his throat. ‘Sure thing. Lay it on me.’

‘Do you believe you can fall in love with someone in one night?’ Baekhyun waggles his brows at your sister and she groans. ‘Like, soulmates burning-down-the world you’re the person I’ve waited for always Blockbuster kind of love.’

He tilts his head to the side, considering. After a moment he shrugs. ‘I’m not sure.’ For a flash Tao’s eyes linger on you once more. ‘I think it would depend on the person.’ And then the bastard goes and winks at you.

Baekhyun snorts and lounges back in the booth, resting his arm on the back of the seat. 'Good luck, buddy. You'd have better luck charming a brick wall. She only reads about love these days, Double Shot here is a bit gun-shy at putting it into practice again.’

You glare at Baekhyun, body going rigid at being called out. For as long as he's been your sister's best friend he's acted like a surrogate older brother to you. He vacillates between telling you it’s good you’re so focused on your studies and telling you that you're too serious, too focused on school and work. Since you got broken up with Baekhyun seems focused on the latter, always needling you to go out and have fun. But, as they say, once burned twice shy.

You focus intently on your hands resting on the table and absolutely avoid looking at Tao. From the first time you rang him up at Starbucks you knew his gaze would see more than you'd like. He's the type to see through every bullshit line you give about how you’re fine being alone, fine with how things ended, fine fine fine.

If life was kind the three of you would order and Tao would leave and that would be the end of it. You could safely stay in your cocoon and hide. But of course, life doesn't play fair.

Tao sticks the pen behind his ear and folds his arms. ‘Is that a bet?’

Your cheeks warm and your heart races. Finally, you look up to him fully. 'Excuse me?'

He shrugs and gives you a lopsided smile. 'If you're game, of course. What do you say, shall we put this to the test?'

'You want to see if we'd fall in love in a night?' You're certain you look like a terrified animal. In a vain attempt to fold yourself back into someone confident you lean against the booth, pressing your feet to the ground and making your spine tall and straight. 'What makes you think you're even my type?'

‘Sweetheart, I’m everyone’s type.’

God knows he probably is. Tall, handsome bad boy who sings like an angel, drives a stupidly hot motorcycle, and looks like he knows the fastest way to make you come undone with just a look. But charming is only skin deep and in return you want to see if there’s anything underneath it that would keep your interest.

‘Fine, then.’ You hold out your hand. ‘I’ll take your bet.’ Stubborn, always so stubborn. Baekhyun giggles and claps excitedly as you grip Tao’s rough, much larger hand.

Your sister leans across you to stare Tao down. 'Hang on. I'm not about to let her go off with some random dude. How do we know you're trustworthy?' Hitchcock has turned her interrogation mode on. ‘I’ve seen you around, but I don’t know you from Bruce Willis.’

He must have other tables to attend to, other things to do, but he rests his palms on the table and leans down to meet her glare. 'I'm an open book. Ask me anything.' The move brings him inches from you. He smells like whisky, the kind that burns, and you swallow instinctively in response.

She narrows her eyes and hums. 'How old are you?'

'Twenty three.'

'Did you go to school?'

He chuckles. 'High school. No need for college.'

'Why not?' You speak up, preparing for an argument. He looks like he could actually keep up with you and a spark of excitement grows low in your body.

'Between singing and bartending I make plenty of money.’ He answers you, not your sister. ‘Don't get me wrong, I respect an education. But I get far more inspiration from living life than from just reading about it.'

You bristle. As a poetry major this feels like a personal attack. ‘Are you telling me you’ve never read anything that made you feel - I don’t know - inspired. Magical. Exposed?' You press your lips together, wishing you could gather the words back.

Tao looks at you through his lashes, bending close enough that you can feel his breath on your lips when he speaks. ‘Words are just the appetizer, darling. I prefer to have an entire feast.’

His dancing eyes dart down to your lips. But then he straightens, pulling the pen out and readying it on the pad. You grip the table to avoid swaying towards him and almost hate him for how much of a magnetic pull he seems to have over you. 'Any other questions or can I grab your orders?'

Baekhyun orders a Smirnoff Ice, delight pouring off him. Your sister narrows her eyes at Tao for a moment. Finally, she relents and orders a sex on the beach. You stare at the red plaid shirt tied around Tao’s hips and order something. An Appletini maybe? Your mind seems to have abandoned you but thankfully Tao nods and winds his way back through the crowd to the bar. In his absence you can breathe fully and look up to see Baekhyun smirking.

‘What?’ you practically groan at him.

‘Oh, nothing.’ He looks like the cat that caught the canary. ‘I just love being right.’

Hitchcock kicks him under the table and he winces, reaching for his shin. They resume their discussion, transitioning to talking about their opening shifts at the theater tomorrow and how much they can reasonably drink tonight and still be functional in the morning. You drum your nails on the lacquered wood table and wonder if your heart is racing from the heat of the packed bar or from the prospect of Tao holding you to your bargain.

The man himself comes back with drinks a moment later. When he slides the light green concoction across the table to you he tilts his head in question. ‘So, how about tonight?’

You choke on your sip and fight the burn in your throat. ‘Are you serious? So soon?’

He grins. ‘Why, did you want time to get ready? I think if we’re going to put it to the test it would have to be tonight. Also, I leave on Sunday morning, so the clock is ticking so to speak.’

‘But I work tomorrow at Starbucks. At the crack of dawn.’ You sputter, waving your hand in front of you. ‘I didn’t think you-’

‘Guess we should get started soon, then.' He winks again and you're tempted to throw your drink at him, just to get the upper hand. ‘I get off at nine.’ Without another word he puts the serving tray under his arm and leaves.

Your sister rolls her eyes. ‘You’re such a bad influence, Baek.’

He throws his arms out wide. ‘I can’t help it baby, I’m a lover. What can I say?’

She snorts and pats you on the back sympathetically. You down your drink in two swallows and absolutely refuse to look at Tao, Baekhyun, or your sister. Instead you pull some bills from your purse and push your way out of the bar before anyone can suggest anything else insane.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It takes you several tries to find a presentable outfit. It's been more than six months since that last fateful date and in the time between you’ve built a literal barrier around yourself, bundling up in sweaters and blankets at home, only emerging for work and class and Friday movie nights.

Baekhyun's words come back to you as you frown and throw yet another outfit on the bed. Are you really a brick wall, impenetrable and cold? You weren't always, surely. Byron's 'and thus, the heart will break, yet brokenly live on' swims in your mind, still fresh from the finals you took just a few weeks ago.

You don't feel broken, just stuck. Numb. Waiting. You hold a dress up to your body and wonder if your ex feels the same or if he, as the one who did the dumping, moved on instantly, and it's just the broken-up-with half that flails around trying to find new footing.

With an defiant press of your lips you sigh and settle on your favorite black and white checkered dress and white Keds. It’s a declaration of intent in a peter pan collar. Your ex always hated your clothes, what you chose to study, your music; everything about you screamed soft and he tried so hard to bend and form you into someone he wanted.

But you are as you are - romantic and idealistic and sweet. You roll your eyes. It’s the truth, and you remind yourself that just because you didn’t match him doesn’t mean you have to change just to make someone else happy. The outfit screams innocence it dares Tao to judge you tonight. As if you care what he thinks. Which you definitely do not.

You barely make it back in time to Flanagan’s. When you rush up Tao is pushing out of the bar onto the street. A thrill runs down your spine at his smile when he sees you. Your ex doesn't control you anymore, you remind yourself. You get to decide when you move on; when you stop mourning something that's dead and over and find something new. Even if it's not with Tao, tonight is an experiment. To see if you can handle a fresh start.

‘Hi,’ you start, breathless from your hurrying.

'Hi yourself. You still game?' he asks, mischief in his eyes and hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. 'If you want an out I won't hold it against you.' He looks you up and down and smirks, but doesn’t comment on your appearance.

In return you scan him as well. His hair is mussed just-so and his earrings match too well to be an accident. He’s trying too, even if his devil-may-care attitude would make others think he’s not. Everyone has an image they present to the world, tonight you’ll find if there’s substance behind Tao’s.

You press your tongue between your teeth and tilt your head at him. 'I'm ready to be surprised.'

He barks out a laugh. ‘Fair enough. I’ll see what I can do’

Tao starts to move towards you across the sidewalk, but you hold out a hand at the level of his chest, stopping his movement. 'So, love, huh? There's not some girlfriend or boyfriend of yours waiting for you at home?'

‘I belong only to myself. For now, at least.' He smiles and holds his arms out wide. His brows tug together suddenly. For a moment he looks unsure. Vulnerable. But the look is gone so fast you wonder if you imagined it. ‘What about you?’

You want to fold in on yourself and turn away, hiding. As if the stain of failure is written across your face. The words that were thrown your way like scarlet letters on your skin for him to see. Prude. Uptight. Tease. Your stomach churns and you’re glad you only had the one drink tonight.

‘Single.’ You suck in a breath after you get the word out, like it stole all the air from your lungs in speaking it.

He nods, holding your gaze for a moment. Those eyes of his drink you in and you’re sure he can see it - the hesitation and the fear. But once more he simply stands tall and gives you space to think. ‘Shall we head towards the waterfront?’

A public place, lively and full of people on a Friday night. Safe, reassuring. He didn’t suggest a club or somewhere heavy with expectation and you like him better for it. Tao waves an arm out in front of you, inviting you to go first and you start walking, clutching your purse under your arm.

He falls into step beside you. 'So I guess if we're going big or going home, shall we start with our dating history?'

You should have expected this level of inquisition, especially from someone who is friends with Baekhyun. ‘Jesus, you don’t pull any punches.’ But against your will you let out a laugh.

There’s something refreshing about someone who seems like, for all his mystery, he doesn’t hold any secrets. Everything out in the cool night air and you wonder if it would be freeing, to let it all go. To not question the words you say. To trust that the person you’re speaking them to will hold them without judgement.

‘Never have, never will,’ he reassures you. The cat-like grin on his lips is teasing. ‘That I can guarantee you. I’m happy to go first, if you’d like?’

You nod, and he sighs, looking through the clouds to the moon that peeks through. The streets are dry for once, a brief respite after the wet Seattle spring. Everyone around you takes in the night with gleeful laughter, on the search for music and connection and entertainment. But even with the full sidewalks around you all you feel compelled to do, inexplicably, is lean in closer to hear Tao.

A group of women brush by you, giggling, forcing you into Tao to avoid them. On instinct he reaches out an arm to keep you both from being overrun. You turn into him and end up meeting his eyes. In the night they’re so dark they look almost black, with flashes of light from passing cars.

The moment stretches around you and irrationally you want to stop him before he says anything else. No stories of the people he’s been with or kissed or loved or wrote songs about. Maybe that’s the appeal of one night love stories, you think. The beginning of love is always a lightning bolt. If that’s all it ever is you never have to deal with being knocked on your ass by the resulting thunderstorm.

The women pass and Tao respectfully brings his hand back to his pocket and time carries on. But the look on his face remains as you both start walking towards the Market again.

‘I should say up front, I uhh - I guess that I’ve never been in a relationship. Actually.’ He runs a hand through his hair and winces like he’s ashamed of it. ‘I came close a few times. But it’s just never worked out.’

You open your mouth but aren’t sure what to say. Do you make fun of him for clearly being a playboy, not wanting to be tied down, fitting the stereotype of the rockstar he’s on a path to becoming? Do you play coy, asking him if you might fit the bill? Or do you reassure him?

The latter feels the most natural. ‘You’re young. It’s the nineties. I don’t think it’s unusual to be playing the field right now.’ You lift a shoulder and shrug, the edge of your black denim jacket slipping down your back a bit with the motion. It exposes the skin of your collarbone above the strap of your dress, where your neck meets your chest.

Tao licks his lips and drags his eyes away from your shoulder to meet yours with a nod. ‘That’s true. I guess most of my friends are single. Sehun is. Jongin is. Baekhyun is, for sure. Even if he is in love with your sister.’ Your jaw drops and Tao bites his lip. ‘Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything. Please don’t tell her I -’

He looks genuinely panicked and you laugh, waving a hand. ‘Trust me, she’s in love with him too. They’re both too stubborn to admit it though. So your secret is safe with me.’

Tao sighs, relaxing, and gives you a half smile. ‘Thank you, I appreciate that.’ The neon lights from the bars and clubs along Pike street pass over his face, painting him dozens of bright colors. ‘So, that’s my story. Too busy working and writing lyrics and singing to be tied down. What’s yours?’

‘That’s hardly a story,’ you challenge, raising a brow. ‘More like the cover of a book.’

‘It’s plenty!’ he laughs. ‘I’ve exposed myself as a perpetually single man. I think that tells you tons about me.’ At your pursed lips he continues. ‘Fine. I’ve been chasing music for so long that I have avoided getting serious with anyone, lest it keep me from my dreams of stardom. I crave that intensity between me and an audience when I sing, but I’m afraid to let myself have something real. Something intimate, that expects more of me past one performance. I’m afraid that off-stage I’m more disappointing than on et cetera et cetera.’

He cuts off his rambling monologue, his eyes widening as he stops in his tracks for a moment, like he can’t believe he just said so much. But you stand next to him without judgement. Something about his disarming honesty and expressiveness makes you want to tell him the truth, ugly that it might be.

While you stand on the corner and wait for the light to change you look at the zipper of his leather jacket to avoid his eyes and spit it out. ‘I got dumped six months ago.’ You lift your hands and drop them uselessly to your side.

He tilts his head back in appraisal. Blessedly the teasing is gone from his face. He doesn’t offer sympathy, cloying and patronizing words about how you’ll find someone else. He doesn’t flirt with you, even though that seems to be his nature.

‘I don’t know the circumstances, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but all I can say is - it’s his loss.’ He gives you a slight smile, not moving even when the light changes, and you can’t help but return it.

It’s strange that it could be so simple. Perhaps if you do carry on something with Tao you’ll tell him more. But for tonight it can be that easy. The pain and doubt and shame can fade into a pinprick of light heading off into the distance and get swallowed up by the night. Like you can just wipe the slate clean and start over. You inhale a deep breath of cool, salty air and look up at Tao, your smile growing, becoming more genuine and whole.

A lightness fills you and you wind your arm through his, pulling him into the crosswalk just as the last few seconds show on the countdown. He lets you guide him easily and you come to rest on the concrete looking down at the Pike Place Market. The bright neon red sign reflects against the dark night and the inky blue waters of the Bay beyond it. In the twilight ships move back and forth through the port, full of tiny lights of their own.

He drops his hand a little, running over the clothed skin of your arm until he reaches your palm. The contact of his hand on yours makes you jolt. ‘Is this okay?’

Without thinking you nod, twining your fingers with his, savoring the heat as he presses against you. Your ex hated holding hands in public, hated any kind of PDA, calling it childish. But Tao stands by your side, hand in hand, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

People mill about you, heading to the endless restaurants and food stands that line the Market. In summer it’s in full bloom, crowded every night, and after a long winter and spring holed up in your apartment it’s disorienting to be out in the world again.

You start walking together, without a plan. It’s far more comfortable than you’d expected, the companionable silence with him. Everyone in your life talks a mile a minute - Baekhyun and your sister, your co-workers at the busy coffee shop, your classmates, hungry for discussion - but Tao seems content to just hold your hand and admire the rows of vendors you pass. The lack of pressure from him eases something that had drawn tight and anxious in your chest over the last few months.

Before you is a maze of stalls. Tables full of tulips in bright yellows and pinks, bouquets wrapped in brown paper, that you stop to smell. Screen printed tee shirts with the Sonics logo or photos of the Space Needle or trendy political puns that Tao points out with a laugh. People sell everything from watercolor paintings to homemade honey to snow globes. As a recent college grad, you’re saving all your money, but everything is still fascinating to look at.

The two of you settle on a kebab place for dinner after a long debate about the merits of the taco cart and the hole-in-the-wall seafood stop. The steam brings the rich smell of meat and vegetables to you. Against your protests to split the bill, Tao insists on buying dinner.

‘If this is an official date I have to follow the guidelines,’ he winks.

You roll your eyes and defiantly go to the next stall to order two Jones sodas from the seller. When you hold them up he laughs and inclines his head. ‘Alright, that’s fair.’

When you’re settled on the narrow rock wall beyond the far edge of the market, balancing Jones sodas on the uneven stones with a warm kebab resting on your knees, he carries on.

'So, poetry. What made you choose that?' He asks around a bite.

After a sip of soda you tilt your head at him. ‘You can't laugh, okay?'

'Why would I laugh?’ His brows furrow like it’s the furthest thing from his mind. ‘I'm a singer, sweetheart. I don't take the arts lightly and anyone who does is an asshole.' He narrows his eyes at you in mock seriousness but the way his mouth fights a smile is endearing.

You snort, liking him yet again without planning on it. ‘I don’t know. I’ve always loved it and sometimes I try to write it. I’ve had some job or another since high school, so I’m confident I can always get a job if I need it but - there’s something so - so delicious about poetry.’ You swallow another drink of your soda and Tao’s eyes flick to the motion of your throat. ‘If I was going to go to college, and our parents kind of insisted on it, I wanted to study something I loved.’

Tao lifts his own soda and clinks it to yours in solidarity. ‘I can respect that. What’s your favorite poem?’

Suddenly shy you turn to set your soda down on the stone beside you, letting your hair fall over your face while you think. It’s not that you don’t know, but that it feels too close, too personal to tell him just yet. ‘That’s very private.’

When you look back to him he holds your gaze for a moment. ‘Hmm. Okay I can respect that. Favorite songs are pretty personal too so I’ll let you hold onto it, for now.’ With a movement as casual as breathing he tucks your hair behind your ear, as though he does it twenty times day, and resumes his eating.

Poems run through your head as you chew, heart racing. You’d thought this was an experiment that would quickly go south. A quick walk to prove that you’re not compatible. A smug ‘I told you so’ to Baekhyun. And then a return to the comfort of your bed to read for the night. You didn’t expect to want him. Words, endless remembered words filter across your consciousness, ones of love and lust and death and the exhilaration of life.

Normally your own creative voice is quiet, too afraid to give permanence to the ideas, the words, that live inside you. But as you watch the gentle night breeze ruffle his dark hair you think you could write some tonight, if you had pen and paper. Instead you shove an enormous bite in your mouth and chew, afraid of the attraction you have to him.

When you’re both done eating he holds his hand out for your trash and you wad up the wrapper and hand it to him along with the empty bottle. He walks over to the trash and dutifully puts the bottles in the recycle, like any good Seattle boy. Dusting off his hands he turns back towards you, approaching slowly and holding out his hands.

After a moment’s hesitation you reach for him, allowing him to help you stand. Continuing the night’s adventure. When you’re on your feet he releases one of your hands, keeping the other one tucked in his as the two of you wind your way back through the crowds. Both of you stop to pat the bronze pig at the crux of the Market for good luck.

He leads the way down the narrow stairs to Post Alley and the line outside the comedy club at its base winds around in a long chain. It’s funny, normally you’d want to know The Plan. Baekhyun calls you anal retentive, but you just consider yourself organized. You like knowing what’s coming. But tonight you consent to following him without knowing the destination. You bite back a smile - it’s exciting and terrifying all at once.

A group of people tries to come up the stairs as you’re going down and you are pressed against the rail, trying not to slip. It definitely isn’t meant to be wide enough for both directions of people at the same time. As if sensing your predicament Tao presses his broad back into the rowdy man behind you, ignoring his grumbles of annoyance, making space so you can descend the last few steps onto the courtyard.

Out front of the Market Theater you thank him and wonder what exactly his plan is. Is he taking you to an improv show? A concert? Drinks? With your hand still in his he gently moves to the left, under the archway and in front of the long gum wall. You raise a brow at him but he merely smiles and shrugs.

‘I didn’t peg you for someone who likes tourist attractions.’

His eyes dance with amusement. ‘Oh yeah? What kind of person did you imagine me to be?’

You purse your lips and try to figure out how to answer him. ‘I’m not sure, actually. Normally I can read people pretty easily, but I can’t pin you down.’

‘Me?’ He presses his hand that holds yours to his chest. ‘Baby, I’m an open book.’

The gum wall around you smells sickly sweet and you can almost taste it on your tongue. Everyone around you is taking polaroids in front of the wall or chewing their own gum in preparation to add to it.

You wonder what the two of you look like from an outsider’s perspective. Tao, tall and imposing with his thick motorcycle boots. You with your white Keds and sweet, checkered dress and headband. It might seem like you’re an odd couple, but the heartbeat in his chest against your hand is strong and underneath it all perhaps you’re not so different.

With a breathy laugh and a roll of your eyes you grip his hand and pull him further along the alley beside the gum walls, towards the water. Nearby one of the many buskers permitted to perform along Pike Place starts signing a loud and heartfelt, if slightly off-key, rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline,’ drawing the cheers of the onlookers.

Away from the crowd in Post Alley you emerge onto a side street a block or so from the water. Tilting your head back you watch as everyone sings along. Tao’s free arm suddenly comes around your waist and dramatically he starts swaying you back and forth, crooning along to the Neil Diamond song far better than the busker. A few other people on the street around you smile or laugh, making their way to the pier up ahead.

Instead of asking him what on earth he’s doing or feeling embarrassed about dancing in the middle of the sidewalk you just cling to him and try to keep up. His voice is rich and soothing, his hand holding you against him is sturdy and comforting. You can’t help but giggle and roll with it, holding onto his jacket and watching his jaw move as he sings.

All too soon the performance back at the Market behind you ends and the last lyrics are drowned out by applause. Tao takes a step back and the night is cold without his warm embrace. You long to step forward and close the distance once more. Instead you brush your hair back and compose yourself.

‘What kind of music do you like to sing?’ you ask as the two of you resume your progress towards the pier.

‘All kinds.’ He shrugs. ‘But mostly love songs.’

‘Really?’ The light before you changes and ahead the aquarium looms in the night. To your left is the Kingdome waits, past the long stretch of the boardwalk. Without waiting for Tao you head that direction, the briny ocean air filling your lungs.

He easily comes to your side. ‘Of course. Everything’s about love I think, when you get down to it.’

‘You weren’t singing love songs when I saw you perform.’

You answer without thinking, remembering the concert a few months ago that you and your sister went to. Baekhyun had invited you both to see Chanyeol’s band - Yeol and the Salty Wolves - and Tao was performing with the opening group.

‘You’ve seen me on stage?’ His proud grin is teasing and playful and damned if you don’t want to kiss him.

‘Yeah. It - my sister dragged me out of the house. She thought getting outside would do me some good.’ You focus on picking off a section of your pink nail polish that’s started to chip. ‘You guys were great. But you were definitely yelling about anarchy, not love.’

The imagine of him in his tank top, wide slits cut under the arms revealing a broad swath of his tanned skin, singing passionately, makes you suddenly very aware of him. Tonight he’s composed, a rebel in street clothes. But that night his face was slicked with sweat from his intensity, red in the cheeks and headbanging along with the crowd and the rest of the band. Even that night, so close after your recent break up, you wanted him. It was a dangerous idea then and it’s a dangerous idea now.

He hums and veers to the right, heading down one of the longer piers. ‘I could argue that anarchy still is love. Love of your beliefs and love of a person or a place or a thing so much that you’re willing to fight for it, to go to war for what you care about.’

To that you don’t argue. ‘That’s true. I guess anything could be love when you get down to it. There’s so many poems about sadness - missing love or rejected love. Anger. Bitterness.’

The wooden boards of the pier below you give a gentle thunk with each heavy step of Tao’s huge boots. Below you the water sloshes against the planks. Now at the end you lean forward, resting your elbows on the railing, before turning back to Tao.

‘I guess this is a day to be debating love,’ you smirk, thinking back to the conversation that got you into this. In the wind off the Bay you shiver.

Like a reflex Tao shrugs out of his jacket and holds it out to you. But you lean over and wave your hand at him. ‘No it’s okay, I’m fine. Please, you don’t have to -’

But he drops it over you anyways, the warm weight of his jacket settling on your shoulders and insulating you from the wind. In his black, long-sleeve shirt he doesn’t even seem cold. With a sigh you pull it more fully onto you and bend upright again, inches from him.

‘Debating love indeed. See I think love and intimacy is made far too complex by a lot of people.’ He slowly rubs his hands together, forearms resting on the railing as he leans over, looking at the waves. ‘I think it comes from knowing someone. Really knowing them. Hopes and fears and memories and all of that. and choosing to be with them. Simple and complicated as that.’

‘Simple as that?’ you gape at him, holding your wind-tousled hair out of the way with one hand so you can look at him. ‘There's no way to truly know someone in one night, though. There's too much nuance for love in such a short time.’ The beating of your heart in your palms when you look at him would argue otherwise and you inhale deeply, trying to keep your center.

‘Hence why I also said complicated. But now we’re debating what love itself means.’ His gaze darts down to your lips before he meets your eyes. ‘I know plenty about you.’

You open your mouth to argue but he carries on. ‘I know you’re stubborn, given the soda earlier and the coat just now. I know you’re practical and competent - I’ve seen you at your job. I know you’re a romantic at heart, you have to be to study poetry, and even if some asshole temporarily doused that fire you look for evidence that love is real everywhere.’

Feeling raw and exposed you try to find anything to say to brush off the way his statements cut to the heart of you. ‘That doesn’t mean you - uhm - that you know me.’

The word you almost said in your haste was love and the thought makes your palms sweat. Irrational. Impossible. Everyone always says your emotions are easy to read, that they’re written all over your face, and you wonder what he sees as he watches you. The moment you said it you could see the slow smile start on his lips. At the very least he knows you’re not arguing with him as much as arguing with yourself, against what you feel.

He leans in closer so that his forehead touches yours, low voice almost a murmur. ‘But I want to know you more. I want to do a lot of things. Does that count?’

‘Count?’ If you wanted to you could press up on your toes and kiss him. The thought is intoxicating and you close your eyes, heaving a breath into your lungs.

After a long moment of thinking and waiting and wondering you finally open them again. Tao looks just as conflicted as you are - his brows tug together and the casual flirtation is gone. He holds himself still before you and something far more serious crosses his face. Though he doesn’t answer with words the look in his eyes telegraphs his feelings for you.

With a sigh he pulls back, reaching to the railing with both hands to steady himself, and you sway in his absence. He looks up at the night sky, at the moon through the clouds, and smiles. The stars peek through here and there. It’s not a cold night, just a breeze across the water to relieve the heat from the long summer day. Distantly a line of poetry comes to you, about being thirsty, parched almost, and wanting to drink him in to quench it.

Rather than indulge the dangerous impulse to touch him again you take off back down the boardwalk. Back to the city and the lights and far away from the closeness of being with him in the dark. The pressure of his thick jacket will have to be enough, for now.

‘So, where do you want to go next?’ You’re impressed you manage to sound steady.

He sticks his hands in his pockets once more and ambles after you, a small smile gracing his lips. ‘I know a place.’

As you make your way along the waterfront he turns the conversation to safer territory. You fill each other in on your jobs - how they started and what you like and don’t like. Co-workers who are dating, friends you have in common at the mall. Notorious customers. Tao has dozens of stories and his laugh is easy, his eyes bright with flirtation now that you’re both on safer ground.

Through the night you meander around the city in a vague Northward direction. Past the Science Center, it’s great white sculptures lit up. Around the Space Needle and the fountain. Another city and the streets would be deserted this late. But here there’s groups of people, laughing and splashing each other at the base of the enormous bowl that forms the center of it. You pass the occasional jogger or couple holding hands, walking home.

The two of you stop to use the restroom and get a drink of water at a 24 hour grocery store. Tao also insists on buying some snacks, chocolate and a bag of chips that you keep in the large pockets of his jacket as you progress to the edges of Lake Union.

It’s easy, being with him. His energy is calm, reassuring. He’s got a wicked and witty sense of humor you wouldn’t have expected and you easily spend half an hour looking out at the boats, making up other, naughtier names for them.

It turns out he likes X-Files just as much as you and your sister do. As you stroll along the Fremont bridge you end up taking his hand once more. The snacks are gone and you can’t resist touching him again. It must be well after midnight, but he doesn’t mention going home. Strangely, you don’t want to either. For someone who’s life has become so habitual you’re surprized you’ve not even spared a thought for your nightly routine of reading in bed with a glass of wine and a candle burning on the windowsill.

There will be other nights for that, but for tonight you let the momentum of the evening carry you along with him. You both decide to skip a visit to the Troll, not wanting to tempt any disasters. The Keds on your feet hold up well and you give a thanks to your past self for not wearing heels or sandals.

Eventually his destination becomes clear. The gates to the park are closed for the night. ‘Gas Works? This is your plan - breaking and entering?’

He nods, biting his lip. ‘Yep. I know a way in. The nighttime view is unbeatable.’

You hold out your hands, gesturing to the enormous PARK HOURS: DAWN TIL DUSK sign.

‘Afraid of being caught?’

You roll your eyes. ‘Yes, actually. I don’t think getting arrested for trespassing would be a great thing for my resume.’

Tao considers before backing towards the edge of the fence with a smirk. ‘Come on. How about a little mischief here ‘upon the honey’d middle of the night’?’

‘You know Keats?’ It leaves you breathless, rooted to the ground. It’s not from your favorite poem, but he is your favorite poet. A good guess or has he been doing his research?

‘Of course. Don’t you?’ Tao teases, folding back a corner of the fence and easing himself through.

You scoff and charge after him. The smug bastard can’t just quote Keats and then run away from you. Once again you want to kiss the proud look off his face, to rattle him the way he seems so capable of rattling you, getting underneath your surface. With a last thought to your reputation you step through after him and a thrill runs down your spine.

The rusted red containers and machines that form the center of the park are tall ghosts in the night, rising from the grass and casting long shadows around you in the distant light from the city. He holds out his hand and you easily catch it, both of you winding your way carefully around the gentle hills to make your way to the view.

You find a suitable spot and sit down on the grass. ‘You’re right,’ you tell him reluctantly.

‘About what?’ Tao sits beside you, linking his hands over his knees. He sits near enough you can feel his thigh pressing against yours. Close, always so close, but not as close as you want him.

‘About this.’ You gesture to the Seattle skyline in front of you.

Sure you’ve been in the daytime, watching the boats sail on Lake Union and the groups of yoga practitioners and families with young kids fill the grassy slopes down to the water. But by night the lights of the city look like a painting. Skyscrapers touching the clouds as the first hints of sun are lightening the horizon.

‘I thought you’d enjoy it.’ He nudges you with his shoulder and smiles at you.

The gentle sounds of the water below is relaxing. Even as you lift your hand to cover a yawn you don’t truly feel tired, like the night and closeness to him could keep you awake forever, if you let them. But even so, dawn is coming and you think back to the reason that you’re both here.

‘So. About that bet?’ Your words are a sigh and somewhere between the late hours and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles you don’t second guess the question.

He side eyes you and can’t smother the grin on his face. ‘You mean the one about if we can fall in love in one night?’

‘Yes, that.’ It must be the lack of sleep causing the giddiness you feel, you tell yourself, as you lean back against the grass and cover your face with your hands.

His own hands find yours and you turn to see him on his side next to you. Gently he pulls them down, holding them to his chest, so he can look you in the eyes. ‘Hmm, I don’t know about love, but I feel a whole hell of a lot right now. We never came up with an objective definition of it, anyways.’

You snort. ‘Did you honestly just say ‘objective definition?’’

‘Yes, I think if we’re going to agree here, we need to be on the same page.’ With his intense focus on yours he brushes a kiss against the backs of your hands. ‘If we say love is a feeling, who’s to say that we aren’t in love? If we decide it’s an action then which one is it? A kiss or a commitment or - maybe it’s nothing more complicated than putting words to the way I feel when you look at me?’

The smile blooms across your face and right then you’re tempted to say it’s all of them. How much you want his mouth on yours and his hands all over you. How you’re not quite sure you know how to have a relationship with a man anymore, after your ex, but that you want to try with him. How wild and free you feel being next to him.

‘I don’t know about -’ you whisper. You let the truth fall out, not bothering to think about what it might mean. ‘Long term or after tonight. But I’d say, much that I hate to admit Baekhyun could be right, I’d say… uhm, he could be right.’

You avoid Tao’s eyes, focusing on his jaw or the fabric of his shirt or the way his hands hold yours. But still you see how he smiles, almost glowing in the light of the moon and the barest reflection of the sun coloring the skyline to your left.

He clears his throat, pressing another kiss to your hand. ‘Well, I'd look at it this way. Let's say we do get together. Maybe we last a month or maybe we last for the rest of our lives. Another fifty or sixty years. In either of those cases tonight would be just a fraction of the relationship. A small sliver. Important when looking at the broad view of a life together, but not crucial by itself.’

With a nod you look at him and the heat in his eyes makes you gasp. He moves over you, releasing your hands to brace himself on the ground behind your head. The sturdy press of his body reminds you this isn’t a movie or a dream, it’s something real that’s happening to you. The cool grass sinks into your dress at your back and brushes against your thighs.

'Or.' His hot breath cascades across your lips. 'If all we have is tonight.' Moving himself to the side he runs his nose along your jaw, mouth teasing the skin of your neck with barely there kisses. 'One night would be everything. For all the marbles, as they say.' He pulls back and looks at you with a lopsided grin.

You huff out a breath, blowing your bangs out of your eyes, absently running your hands across his shoulders, along his chest. 'I don't know. I like knowing there's always time for more. Like - what if I was tired tonight or hungry or cranky and I messed it up? The thought of just one night still makes me nervous.’

He kisses your forehead and the words come faster, as if hurried along by the morning. ‘If we're a forever thing, then it's okay, because there will be a thousand more chances to get it right. But just once? How can it be perfect if it's so brief?'

'Well, even if we do get together we'd still only have one first kiss.' He rests on one elbow and uses his free hand to cup your jaw, clearing his throat around the roughness of his voice. 'Do you want to wait or shall we attempt perfection tonight?'

The thought of waiting any longer makes you far sadder and you nod. ‘Screw it - kiss me. Please?’

Instead of answering he simply drops his head, closing the distance and sealing his mouth over yours. He groans at the contact, the sound vibrating in his chest where it rests against yours. You grip his neck, winding your fingers through the strands of his hair and hold on, to ground yourself, between him and the grass as he slowly, hungrily, kisses you.

Your eyes flutter for a moment as he sucks on your lower lip. Behind him the sky is bright, the rays of light spilling through the clouds and rendering him art himself. The arch of his brows, full of emotion. You squeeze your eyes closed and hold him tight, grazing his neck with your nails and sighing into his open mouth. Before you can kiss him again he pulls back, his cheeks flushed and his eyes full of delight.

‘That was pretty damn good.’ He huffs out a laugh, running his tongue along his lower lip like he’s trying to keep the taste of you close. ‘Are you sure you want to risk another one? It could be -’

‘Yes,’ you answer immediately. ‘Again.’

He grins and buries his face in your neck, his hot breath falling on your sensitive skin. ‘I think we’ve found the crucial difference between us.’ At your hum he carries on. ‘I can take one moment and hold onto it forever, perpetually living off the way it felt. You want to have it over and over again. And here I thought you were the poet.’

Rolling onto his back he pulls you on top of him with a squeal as you right yourself, bracing hands on his shoulders for balance. His hand rests against your cheek. ‘But if it helps. I - feel the same way.’

‘Oh.’ To keep your surprise and delight from exploding all over your face you bite your lip. ‘Alright then.’ You trace patterns in the fabric covering his chest.

It’s as simple and as complicated as that, just like he said, hours ago.

As the day rises full and bright with the heat of the sun you do indeed kiss again. Several more times. When you’re both red lipped and thirsty and covered in wrinkled clothes you head back to your apartment by UW. He gives you a piggy back ride when your feet start to hurt and helps you make breakfast with a sleepy smile and runs his fingers over the covers of the numerous books stacked on every surface of your apartment and all the while the feeling in your chest grows, not diminishes.

You hurry through a shower and getting dressed for work while he patiently waits on the couch. His eyes are closed when you emerge, putting your hair back in a ponytail. Leaning against the door frame you watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest. You stifle a yawn and think of how not twelve hours ago you didn’t know what his skin felt like beneath your palms or what he’d be like to kiss or how perfectly your bodies seem to line up.

Tomorrow, or perhaps later tonight, you’ll have to report back to Baekhyun and your sister. Though you still have no idea what you’ll say when he asks if the two of you fell in love in one night, you know that, at the very least, it was the start of something.

You leave Tao a note with instructions to sleep as long as he wants and a spare copy of your keys. He works his own shift tonight at Flanagan’s at two, his last one before he leaves on tour. Reassured that at least you’ll see him once more tonight at the party, before he’s gone for - well, you suppose you didn’t ask the specifics yet. You laugh at the thought and quietly shut the door and sprint down the steps to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s hardly after nine in the morning when Tao arrives. Far earlier than you were expecting, but you’ve learned that he likes to surprise you. When you see him standing in line you bite your lip, tilting your head and giving him a sleepy smile.

‘A bit early for you, isn’t it?’ You ask, friendly and professional. ‘You look like you had a long night.’

He laughs, shaking his head and resting his palms on the counter. ‘I did indeed. But it’s been over two hours since I last saw you.’

‘Oh yeah? Is that a long time, then?’ you tease him.

He whistles and leans in to whisper so only you can hear. ‘Far too long for someone in love.’

‘Love?’ The word thunders in your chest.

‘Maybe it’s too soon to know,’ he says, not backing up at all. ‘Maybe love is confirmed by time. But what I feel, whatever this is the start of, I’m greatly looking forward to.’

‘Are you sure you want to start this? You’re leaving, like, tomorrow.’ Suddenly in the light of day the reality of the situation makes your stomach flip.

He clutches his chest dramatically. ‘Don’t sound so sad, love. Please. You say that like I won’t come back.’ He reaches for your hand across the counter. ‘At least we'll have tonight. Tonight or forever, right?’

‘Exactly.’ Unable to resist you lift your hand to hold his cheek and kiss him. It was killing you not to and why not? He’s right. If it’s just one more night, you’re going to make it count.

You pull back and fill out his cup, insisting it’s your treat. Before he leaves you hold out the jar of poems. When he reads the line he laughs, holding it out to you.

“And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us.”

― Pablo Neruda

#exowritersnet #tao x reader #zitao x reader #tao scenario #tao fanfic #exo x reader #exo au #exo fanfic #exo scenario #exo imagine #exodus mall

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marshmallow-phd · 4 years ago

Text

Heart of Thorns

Genre: Beauty and the Beast!AU, Romace, Angst

Paring: Tao x Reader

Inspired by: These moodboards created by @xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme (x) (x) and my absolute obsession with Beauty and the Beast

Summary: Lost in a forest during a storm, you find shelter in a crumbling castle that had been hidden away for years. The master of the house shut himself away, refusing to engage with the world. Too intrigued and running away from your own fears, you refuse to leave no matter how much he tells you to, wanting to try and find the heart within the beast.

Part One I Part Two I Part Three

The view of the country manor used to bring a smile to your face. In the past, you would take off in a run in order to meet it quicker. Its walls were like widespread arms waiting for you to enter its embrace. The garden outside had been your enchanted forest. The rabbits and deer that occasionally wandered in were your friends.

But the wonders of the home that had once been your shelter were no longer as welcoming as before. You wanted to turn back, to make your way through the thick trees, finding that blasted castle, and demanding answers from Zitao.

Why had he thrown you out? Why had he turned such a sweet moment bitter? You knew now that you could never give your heart to Gao. It had already been stolen by another. And even if you wanted it back, it wasn’t possible. You had left it behind in the forest to forever wander the halls in hope of the man in the mask coming for you.

But he wouldn’t be coming for you. As Mr. Chan brought the carriage to a stop down the road, you hopped down from your seat, careful to keep the hood of your cloak over your head. Mr. Chan stepped down as well. From the other side of the carriage, he pulled out two large bags and handed them to you. Odd. You didn’t remember having that much with you on your first trip.

“Take care, young miss.”

You were a bit shocked. You hadn’t heard Mr. Chan speak very much, especially directly to you. His tone implied a sense of protectiveness, a fatherly affection you wouldn’t have expected from him. There was still an awkwardness as he patted your shoulder and stepped back up into the carriage to ride away in the opposite direction that you would walk, but you were thankful for him, just as you were thankful for Mrs. Chan.

Taking a deep breath, you gripped tightly to the straps the bags, one in each hand, and headed for the house.

You heard Cosette yelling before you saw her.

“(Y/n) is back! She’s here! She’s back!”

By the time you reached the door, it swung open to reveal your entire family trying to squeeze through the limited space. Lu made it through first. He threw his arms around you, giving you the type of hug that you hadn’t received from since you were a child. The embraced caused you to drop the bags and return the affection with equal force. Your father came next as he squeezed between you and Lu to take your face in his hands.

“(Y/n). My (y/n). I thought I would never see you again.” His eyes were glossing over. You hadn’t seen him cry in years – since you were small – and your own heart was breaking for the pain you had put him through. While you were enjoying yourself with Zitao and avoiding the confrontation of your possible engagement, he was falling apart.

“I’m so sorry.” You sniffed back your own tears as you pressed your face into his chest. The hood of your cloak fell to your shoulders, exposing yourself to the cold.

You felt his chest heave with a sigh as he patted the back of your head. “Where did you go?”

“Yes!” Cosette screeched from the doorway. “Where did you go? Why did you run away and leave us to starve!”

You swallowed back a scoff as you stepped back. They would have hardly starved if you hadn’t come back. “I didn’t run away. The storm hit sooner than expected. The carriage fell into a ravine. I don’t know what happened to the driver. The horse wasn’t moving so I tried to get back here, but I passed out.”

“How did you survive?” Lu asked.

“I-” You bit down on your lower lip. For some reason, you were reluctant to share the truth. Would they even believe you? They rolled their eyes at the village stories as much as you had before. Being from the city, stories like that were considered beneath their intelligence. “I was found by an old woman who lives in a cottage in the forest. I was sick for a long time, but she nursed me back to health. It took several weeks before my strength came back.”

“And I’m so glad that you did,” your father smiled at you.

“As am I.”

Your eyes went wide as Gao stepped out of the home. He looked different from the last time you saw him. He stood tall, carrying around this aura of importance. His ivory jacket was lined with golden embroidery. His black hair was pulled back and tied with a matching ribbon. There was something about him that gave the impression he was always ready for his portrait to be painted. You had to stop yourself from taking a step away from him as he approached you, grabbed your hand, and placed a kiss on your fingers. The contact made your skin crawl. It was only pure will power that kept you from yanking your hand away and wiping the kiss away on your skirts. There wasn’t any logic beyond your response. Gao had never been unkind to you or anyone else in your presence. Perhaps it was merely the fact that he had wanted to trade helping your father for you being his wife.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Gao,” you whispered.

“Let’s get you inside and near a fire,” he replied with a smile.

“Yes, let's get you inside,” your father agreed. He was about to guide you inside when Gao placed his hand on the small of your back and led you inside instead. Lu picked up your bags and followed suit.

Gao sat you down on the couch and motioned for Claudette to add more wood to the fire. You weren’t that cold, but you didn’t protest. Lu disappeared upstairs with your bags before returning and taking a seat next to you. His eyes flickered in an unsure manner towards Gao. Your father took his usual spot in the armchair to your left, leaving the other side of you open for Gao. Cosette did not seem put out by the lack of propriety for her. In fact, she didn’t seem concerned with the conversation at all. She slowly walked around the room, getting closer to the stairs, but you hardly paid attention. Gao’s closeness was taking up your focus.

“Was the old woman kind to you?” Gao clasped a hand around your own. You quickly withdrew your fingers, hiding them in the folds of your skirt so he couldn’t try it again.

“Yes,” you nodded. “She was more than kind.” Mrs. Chan was motherly towards you. She made you laugh and feel comfortable. She also gave you the tools to open your heart to Zitao. She told you of his past. Because of her, you stopped seeing him as a terrifying figure in the shadows and began to discover the human hidden under the mask. You were sure she had a hand in his changed attitude towards you as well.

“You sound almost… sad to have left?” Lu said.

You blinked at your brother. “I-” You swallowed. “I know I will miss her. She’s my friend.”

“Of course, she would be.” Your father smiled at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Gao cleared his throat, bringing the attention back to himself. “(y/n), I know you’ve been through a lot. However, I would like to form-”

“Look! Look at me!”

Cosette came running down the stairs, the force of her hurry causing her hair to flurry behind her. She was dressed in a silver gown with multiple layers, embroidered with green leaves that seemed to dance in the light. Jewels hung from her neck and wrists, sparkling on her fingers, and dangling from her ears. A small circlet sat on top of her head. Where did she get all of that?

As she came to a stop in the living, standing in the middle in the room so all could see her, she sneered in your direction. “Look! Now I can be as flighty and selfish as (y/n)! Her secret lover must be richer than Gao to give her all of this!”

You gaped at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Your bags were filled with more jewels and dresses like this!” Cosette held up her hand and wiggled her fingers. “Admit it. You didn’t get caught in the storm. And you certainly weren’t staying in a cottage, being looked after by an old woman. You went to see your lover! That’s what you were actually doing on all your walks, wasn’t it?”

Everyone was staring at you. Eyes were wide and mouths slightly agape. Your breath quickened. You thought it strange this morning that you were being sent away with two bags, but you were too upset over Zitao’s words to you and throwing you away to try to understand the possible reason. This only added to your confusion. Did Mrs. Chan pack those valuables to give you leverage against the marriage? Or did Zitao have it done since he felt sorry for you? You could feel the tears welling up behind your eyes as the confusion tore at your heart.

“I don’t have a lover,” you contended in a meek voice. You weren’t sure if any of them believed you, especially since you kept your eyes trained down on the floor. Streaks bounced off weakly off the wood in the sunlight. It wasn’t as reflective as when you left. Someone would have to clean it better.

“Then how do you explain the gifts?” Lu was frowning at you, but it was cast over with a look of concern and confusion. He wasn’t accusatory, simply wanting an explanation.

You shrugged. “I can’t.”

Gao stood up from the couch. Hands behind his back, he walked over to the window that overlooked the front garden and stared passed the glass. Perhaps you should have been feeling guilty, wondering what was going through Gao’s mind at the moment. But he was the least of your concern. It was your father’s judgement that worried you the most. Would he believe your half-truths?

Because you didn’t have a “lover”. You had someone who had stolen your heart and then shoved you away. You had fallen in love with Zitao. He had kissed you and made you feel warm but nothing beyond that. It had ended before it had truly begun.

No. You couldn’t accept the goodbye. Not in this way. You wouldn’t accept that he simply didn’t care for you. There were layers to him that you hadn’t reached. You refused to let go. Not yet.

“If (y/n) says that it wasn’t a lover then I believe her,” your father stated. You let out the air you had been holding in your lungs, the tension in your shoulders rolling away. “Perhaps this old woman is the heir of an old family who simply prefers to be away from others and felt pity for you. We can certainly sell some of the wares to keep our income.” His eyes flickered over to Gao’s back, which did not go unnoticed by your sister.

“Sell them?” Cosette scoffed. “And when that runs out, then what? We need you to get back on your feet, Father! Have you be respectable again!”

Knowing exactly what she was implying your father said, “It is still (y/n)’s choice. That has not changed.”

Without prompt, Gao turned swiftly away from the window. “I feel that this is a matter that should be discussed between the family. I’ll go back to the inn. Until tomorrow.” He bowed, hands still behind him, and left.

It was silence for a minute or two. You wanted someone to speak – anyone. Even Cosette’s screaming would be more tolerable than this pressing quiet. You would break it yourself if you had any idea on how to start. Thankfully, your father took charge of that task.

“Have you decided yet, (y/n)? Will you marry Gao?”

No. No, no, no, no.

“I haven’t decided,” you said as you shook your head.

Your father stood from his chair, grunting from the effort. “Well. Gao had said earlier today that he could only stay the remainder of the week. I wouldn’t be surprised if by that time he formally asks you for your hand. I hope you have an answer for him when he does.” He gave you a kiss on the top of your head. “I’m so happy for your return. My heart would have shattered if something had happened to you.”

You watched with your own broken heart as your father ascended the stairs. Cosette stuck her nose in the air and flitted up after him, possibly to go through the rest of your bags.

Lu scooted closer to you. His eyes were narrowed, but not in a suspicious way. He studied you the same way he would study his mathematics when he was still in school. “Are you sure everything is alright? Nothing happened to you in that cottage, did it?”

Your hands were trembling, but thankfully they were still hidden your skirt. You didn’t lie to your family like this. You had always tried to be open and honest, at least with your father and brother. But you couldn’t bring yourself to let out this secret. That castle in the woods was your burden to endure. Until you were able to figure out where each of you stood, that is. If Zitao truly didn’t care for you… then you would marry Gao. If you couldn’t have love, then you would help your family the best you could.

After a few days spent in the house, adjusting to being back in that space and making up the chores that had been neglected in your absence, you decided to take some time out of the house. Gao had been spending time with your brother and sticking close to you. If he felt that you were overworking yourself or doing work that was “below your station”, he would either call Claudette over or finish it himself. It was a gesture that made you smile out of thankfulness, but nothing more. At this moment, though, you wished his “chivalry” would come to a pause. He’d insisted on escorting you to town. The excuse was so he could eye what wares might be for sale in the market, but you had a feeling is to keep an eye on you, to make sure that you really weren’t sneaking off to see a mysterious lover.

Straw basket hanging from the crook of your elbow, you eyed the meat that was sitting out in front of the butcher’s shop. Mrs. Mooney was busy with another customer so you waited patiently to see if you could haggle with her on the price of a few slices that had caught your eye. Though you could have now paid full price for the items, you rather enjoyed the banter that came with the haggling.

Just Mrs. Mooney had finished up with the other customer, a group of young boys no older than nine came running through the streets.

“We saw him! We saw him!”

Mrs. Mooney put her fists on her hips as she eyed the boys. “What are you going on about?”

“The beast who lives in the woods!” one of the sandy haired boys exclaimed. “We saw him!”

“What on earth were you doing that far in the trees?”

“We didn’t mean to,” another pouted. “Our ball kept rolling and we couldn’t catch it! But we saw him! He was riding a giant black horse with a white spot on its head.”

You nearly choked on the air in your throat. That was Zeus. It had to be.

“He must be a vampire!” a different boy gasped. “Half of his face was stark white, and one hand was covered in scars.”

The first boy hit him over the head with his fist. “He can’t be a vampire, the sun’s out!”

“What is this talk of a vampire?” Gao chuckled as he joined the group.

“It’s not a vampire,” Mrs. Mooney said. “It’s the monstrous lord that lives in the forest, terrorizing anyone who gets too close.”

The grip you had on the basket tightened as you clenched on your back teeth. But you couldn’t say anything and possibly give yourself away.

“I haven’t heard of this lord,” Gao commented.

“He doesn’t exist,” you said in a strained voice.

“Yes, he does!” one of the boys argued. “My mum worked in the castle before he threw everyone out! She says his wife didn’t die because of the fire! She says he killed her! She saw the head wound herself!”

The head would? What was he talking about?

Then you remembered Mrs. Chan saying that there had been an argument the night of the fire. Zitao wouldn’t… sure he wasn’t capable of something like that. It had to have been an accident. Or maybe the boy’s mother was mistaken. Witnesses were always exaggerating what they’d seen.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Mrs. Mooney sniffed. “That boy did have a temper. I bet she found out that he was still sleeping with other girls, threatened to leave him, and he killed her.”

“What do you mean ‘still sleeping with other girls’?” You couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

Mrs. Mooney sneered. “That boy was no prince charming. He chased skirts from here to the capital. It was a shock for us all when he came back engaged and in love. Perhaps it was all a show.”

You stepped back as if Mrs. Mooney’s story had grown a fist and swung at your stomach. Could that be true? Perhaps you were meanly another “skirt” to pass his time. He was probably bored, and you came falling into his lap like a shiny new toy.

Distracted, you left the stall and wandered down the street.

“(y/n)!” Gao ran after you, bringing you to a stop with his hand on your elbow. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No,” you lied. “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just not a particular fan of Mrs. Mooney’s gossip. That’s all.”

He stared at you in a manner that let you know that he didn’t quite believe you, but he didn’t push. For another half hour or so, he continued to escort you around the market. You hardly paid attention to prices or the quality of the wares; your mind was far away, pondering on what was true and what had been a lie. Gao soon excused himself, saying that he had letters waiting for replies by at the inn. You were thankful when he left, giving you space to be alone.

Your feet knew where they were taking you before your mind was aware. The neighing of the horses caught your attention. If you were to rent one, you could be back before dark – if you found him, that is.

Mr. Seo, who owned the horses, was happy to watch your basket while you took the tan mare. You told him that you wanted to go riding for an hour or so, to feel the wind in your hair before it got too cold. You felt horrible for the story, but if anyone came looking for you, that seemed less suspicious.

You took the roundabout way to the woods, entering through the same space of trees Mr. Chan had brought you out of a few days before. You tried to think back to the path that Mr. Chan had taken to bring you home. The trees all looked the same. Most were bare of leaves, the branches looking like bony fingers pointing you along your way. In the distance, the sound thunder echoed. But there were no clouds in the sky. You followed the sound. The closer you reached, the more recognizable the sound became: horse hooves.

You urged the horse to go faster so the originator of the sound did not outrun you. Then, in the distance, you saw a black shape blurring past the trees. The forest broke. There was the castle.

Stopped in the field halfway between the forest line and the castle, Zitao sat atop Zeus, staring at you. When you were close enough, you brought your borrowed horse to a stop and slipped off the saddle.

“What are you doing here?” he growled down at you. His knuckles were white from how tightly he was gripping the reins. The scars on his left hand stood out even more.

You breathed heavily, suddenly scared as you stood before him. “I have to know why you threw me out.”

“It was time for you to go.”

“That’s a lie. You wouldn’t have-” You stopped. The memory of that night, before the sweet turned sour, sang softly in your head.

But you didn’t need to finish. He knew what you were going to say. “You don’t know what I would and would not have done. I don’t need to explain myself to you. Now go back to your precious fiancé.”

“Did I mean so little to you? Will you really let me go?” You stared intensely, trying to read his features despite the mask giving him perfect cover. He stayed quiet for a moment or two. He kept your gaze steadily. For a make-believe second, you thought that he might ask you to stay. But your instinct was wrong.

“Why would I keep you here?”

He started to turn away. You ran around him to block his path.

“Did all those days really mean nothing to you?”

“Nothing means anything to me. All I want is to go back to my pathetic, peaceful existence in this castle. Alone. Go face your fate. Your family would be better off.” He urged his horse past you. As he galloped towards the stables, you willed for him to look back, to let you know that he didn’t mean the words he’d said.

He never even took a glance.

So, you did as you were told and mounted your horse, vowing never to think about this place again.

When you came back to the house, Gao was there as well. He was sitting at the table with your father and brother.

“I told you she’d be back,” Lu said he clapped Gao on the shoulder. He stood up and came over to you, taking the basket from your hands. “Did you have a nice ride?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “Yes, I did.”

“Good.” That was all he said as he took the basket into the kitchen. And didn’t come back.

Your father cleared his throat before rising from his chair.

Your pulse quickened as you were left alone with Gao. Without any inclination, you knew what was about to happen. The subtly of your family was nonexistent. Even leaving one by one wasn’t enough to cover up their expectations. A coat of cold sweat covered your palms. You wanted to run. You wanted to go to your sanctuary in the woods. But it was clear that you were no longer welcomed there. Should you do as Zitao said? Should you resign yourself to the fate that was in front of you? You had told yourself that you would if he didn’t want you. Now that you were faced with the choice, you found your resolution faltering.

Gao stood up, giving a quick clearing of the throat before taking the necessary steps towards you to close in the gap. His fingers, warm and soft from lack of hard labor, grasped your own. Any other woman would be swooning at the gesture, but you were already tainted with another’s touch.

If you had never gone through the forest, if the storm had never happened and you’d never gone to the castle, would things be different? Would you have come to love Gao? Or at least accept his love with mild interest? There was no telling of what might have been, only of what was in your heart now. The pieces left behind were marked with fingers that danced across ivory keys. They only saw one pair of dark brown eyes that couldn’t be eclipsed by the lighter shade looking at you now. But the owner of said eyes and fingers had thrown you away, had made it clear that you had not touched him in the same way. And then there were still the secrets of his past. Was he truly a murder?

No, you didn’t want to believe that.

“(y/n)?”

Slightly startled at how far away your mind had gotten, you returned your focus to the matter in front of you. “Yes?”

“I’m not sure if there is any hope in the question I want to ask.” Gao’s voice was soft, comforting, but there was something underneath it that made you question its sincerity. “We’ve known each other a long and I’ve always thought of you as someone special, someone to be cared for. If you would be so willing, I would like to be that person to take care of you.”

You stayed silent. Even now you weren’t sure as to which answer you were going to give. Would you stay firmly in one spot, hoping that he would come for you again? Or did you move forward, taking the necessary steps to go on?

“What I’m trying to ask,” Gao shifted his weight to allow himself to kneel before you, still gripping your fingers, “is if you would do me the honor of giving me your hand in marriage?”

Everything stopped. Nothing existed anymore. Not you, not Gao, not even language or time. If you could stay in that non-existence than maybe you could be moderately content. But you were a woman. A woman whose father had fallen into ruin, whose love had scorned her, and who’s family was falling apart. How you wished you could be selfish like Cosette. What a life that must be, to be able to one’s self first. But that was not who you were. In truth, was there really any another answer? Yes, you loved another, but love and marriage were not always intertwined.

You let out that single word quickly before you could think about it anymore. If given even a second longer, you would have changed your mind and ran away.

“Yes.”

You were going home.

Not your true home. The mansion with too many rooms and wonderful hiding spots had been sold off long ago. But you were going back to the city. It was the “proper place for Gao’s fiancé”. You must be reintroduced into society, your status now elevated.

It was hard to say goodbye. You would miss the space this home provided. You would miss the trees that outlined the town and the people who greeted you every time you went to market. The people here were friendlier than in the city. No longer would you go fetch the groceries yourself when Claudette was too busy to do so. You would be back to being waited on hand and foot. You didn’t want to go. But Gao had already sent out the invitations to the engagement party in a week’s time and all the important people of society would be there to watch him parade you around the ballroom rented for the occasion. His own home wasn’t big enough to hold such a party. Yet. Gao had already told you he planned on moving to a bigger house after the wedding.

Hood pulled over your head, you stepped towards the door of the carriage that was to transport you back to the city. Before Gao could help you up inside, you spotted a figure rushing down the dirt path. Your heart jumped in your chest.

Mrs. Chan.

Gathering your dress in your hands, you ran towards her, the hood falling from your head. As soon as she was within reach, you pulled her into your embrace. You hadn’t seen her since you left the castle. Tears trickled down your cheeks. As if nothing had changed, she tutted at you.

“Now, don’t be like that dear. You’ll swelled your beautiful eyes.” Mrs. Chan leaned back and wiped the tears away with her handkerchief. “There. That’s better. You didn’t think I would let you leave without saying goodbye, now did you?”

You couldn’t say either way. You hadn’t wanted to give yourself a chance to hope and then be heartbroken when it didn’t happen.

“I have to say, though, I am surprised at how things have turned out.”

“I didn’t want them to go this way,” you confessed. “I had hoped-” No. Best not to voice that out loud.

Mrs. Chan fixed the hood back onto your crown in her motherly way. “I know, dear, but the thing about hope, it never really dies or goes away. The smallest of embers can ignite it once again.”

You wanted to believe that. It was hard, though. Too much water had been poured on your fire. You pulled Mrs. Chan into another hug. “I’ll miss you.”

“Take care, dear. And don’t forget how strong you are.” She left you with one last pat on the cheek and then turned you around so you would go back to the carriage.

“Who was that?” Gao asked when you returned.

“A friend from the village,” you replied, your eyes on Mrs. Chan’s retreating back.

Gao simply nodded in reply before helping you into the carriage. It was stuffy inside with your family and Gao crowded amongst the seats. Your stomach flipped and churned with every bump. No storm was coming this time, so the driver took the main road, avoiding the forest. By sundown, you had made it the inn that was supposed to be your shelter on the last trip. Cosette filled the silence of your rented room with her talk of parties and what store she wanted to buy a new dress from as soon as you all arrived back in “civilization”. There was even a comment of having one of the dresses from your bags altered to fit with the modern fashion. You wanted to scream at her not to touch them, but the fight inside you was hard to find. Instead, you simply turned your back to her as you lied in the bed and blew out the candle to diminish the small amount of light she could see by.

The family settled into Gao’s two-story house with little difficulty. The servants fulfilled their wishes and took their orders. Most were familiar with your brother already, having been employed by Gao’s family for decades. You still tried to do things for yourself, like tending to the fire in whatever room you were occupying or collecting your laundry. The work was quickly snatched from your hands as soon as one of the servants saw what you were doing.

The head housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers, was determined to mold you into the madam of the home. She would come to you with the preparations for dinner, for approval on new curtains for certain rooms, and for anything else she thought you should be informed of or have the final say on. Most of these things you saw as frivolous. She always approached you with the most uptight manners and wouldn’t leave until you made a firm decision.

You hated it here. How many times a day were you questioning your decision? How many different excuses had you come up with to break off the engagement? How many times had you considered running away?

The one thing that stopped you from following through on any of those ideas: your father. He was working again, already. His clientele was back, just as Gao had promised. You hadn’t seen your father smile like this in so long that you couldn’t bare to be the one who made it disappear again.

The day of the party arrived. All day you felt nauseous. Cosette flitted around your room, talking sweetly about the eligible bachelors who had been invited and how much missed dancing properly and not having to suffer through the less formal country dances. You sat perfectly still as one of the servant girls, Mei, pinned back your hair and colored your lips. You didn’t want to dance tonight. The dress you were to wear may have been a golden yellow – the color of happiness – but you felt more like a dark cloud in the night sky. You didn’t want to stand up in front of all those people and pretend to be happy. But you would do it. For your father.

Gao was beaming the entire ride to the ballroom. It was located near the center of the city, grand enough for the king and large enough to hold a hundred guests. You were thankful for the gloves that encased your hands as Gao escorted you inside. You didn’t want to feel his skin on yours.

Dozens upon dozens of people milled about the grand ballroom, drinks in hand as they laughed through shallow conversations. Some faces you recognized. Most you didn’t. Gao would stop at every other group or so and introduce you. None of the names stuck and the unknown faces were nothing more than blurs. When you finally reached the main center, Gao snatched two glasses of wine from a passing server, handing one to you before calling for the talking to cease.

“I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming out to celebrate my approaching marriage,” Gao said loudly as he held his glass high in the in air. The singularity was not missed. Did he forget that two people were involved in this engagement? You barely paid attention to his words, focusing on keeping the smile on your face. A tall figure moving in the back of the room caught your eye, but it disappeared before you could make out who it might be. “This has been a long time coming for me. Watching (y/n) grow into the beautiful young woman she is today was a privilege that I am honored to have been given. I know she will only grow more beautiful in our life together. To (y/n).”

“To (y/n)!” The room echoed. Glasses moved stem side up as the toast was declared finished and the band in the corner struck up a song.

Gao finished his drink as well before pulling you on to the dance floor, not even giving you chance to protest. He whirled you around the polished floor like a prized cow. You didn’t bother with the charade of a smile anymore. It was a relief when the first song faded to a close and Gao let you go. He said something about needing to conduct some business and walked away. You finally felt like you could breathe.

“One shouldn’t leave their fiancé alone on a night like this.”

You gasped as you whirled around. It can’t be. It wasn’t possible for him to be standing here, right now in front of you. But he was here, more elegantly dressed than of the other gentlemen with his blue velvet coat, his white mask shining in the candlelight. Without any explanation, he held his hand out to you. There was no hesitancy in taking it, even if you should have been more cautious.

He was here. Your mind kept repeating that over and over. He was here, he was here, he was here.

Zitao pulled you in close, his hand secured in the curvature of your waist. The other hand cradled your right as your left hand rested comfortably on his shoulder. With the grace of a ballet performer, he glided around the dance floor, making up for any misstep you might take. Now you wore a genuine smile. How could you not when he had come? But even in your joy, the obvious could not be overlooked.

“What are you doing here?” you whispered.

He did not wear the same smile as you. “I… I had to come see you.”

Your heart leapt at that answer. “Why?”

“You’re a hard person to forget.”

At that simple statement your throat closed in. Tears would have burst forth if you hadn’t fought to hold them back. Oh, how you wanted to wrap yourself up in his arms.

“You make no sense,” you said with a shake of your head. “You throw me out, yet send me home with lavish gifts. Then I’m told that you used to chase after women like a hunting dog after birds. Was I just another plaything to you? See if we could get the poor destitute girl before she has to go back to her miserable life?”

“No!” Zitao snapped. A quick glance around and then he lowered his voice, “I will admit that I wasn’t the most respectable person in the past. But I’m not person anymore. And you were never a game. You have always been more.”

You weren’t sure why, but you believed him.

“Why didn’t you come or me sooner?” you questioned. Sooner? Why didn’t he take you away that day in the forest?

“I thought you knew how stubborn I was already?” he said with a half-smile. It faded just as quickly as it had come. “I was content in being alone. I thought it was better for me. You can’t get hurt if you don’t let anyone in.”

“But you can’t live like that,” you urged. “Everyone gets hurt. Besides, you have let people in. Mrs. Chan cares about you like her own son.”

He sighed, the air contorting to a laugh near the end. “She said as much. But you must understand. The last time… the last time I felt this way, I was left broken, a monster—”

“You’re not a monster. This,” you bobbed the hand that he held up and down so he would know what you were referring to, “is nothing more than a scar. It doesn’t make you who you are.” But it did come with a past. “That night of the fire… did you kill her?”

Zitao’s Adam’s apple shuddered as he swallowed thickly. Fear was evident in his eyes.

“Yes,” he whispered. “I did.”

Your feet stopped moving. No. You didn’t want to believe it. He was just trying to push you away again. “Zitao—”

“And who exactly invited you.”

Unbeknownst to you, the music had stopped and all who were gathered in the ballroom were circled around you. Gao had cut through the crowd and now stood behind Zitao, his shoulders pushed back in an intimidating manner. He wouldn’t know that such a tactic wouldn’t work. Letting you go, Zitao turned on the balls of his feet, lacing his hands behind his back. He looked more like a powerful lord in this moment than you’d ever witnessed.

“No one in particular invited me,” Zitao said regally. “But as I’m the one who is going to steal away your fiancé, I thought an appearance was necessary.”

“You?” Gao sneered. “And who exactly do you think you are to attempt such a thing?”

“I am Lord Huang.”

“Lord Huang?” A pause. Then Gao laughed. “Ah. I’ve heard of you. From the dimwitted villagers who fear you. Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of vampire or hideous beast?”

“Countryside rumors are usually exaggerated.”

“Are you sure? Why else would you be wearing a mask like that if not to contain the beast?”

Zitao growled. “It is none of your business.”

“Come on, beast, show us what you’re hiding.”

You stepped around Zitao protectively. “Gao, stop it.”

“No, I don’t’ think I will,” Gao said mockingly. “This man is trying to ruin our party. The least he could do is give us some entertainment.”

“Gao, I said stop—"

Before you could finish, the mask covering Zitao’s scars was snatched off his head. Cosette had snuck up from behind and taken the chance to remove the mask. Zitao scrambled to cover his face. Gao laughed at the humiliation, showing you exactly who he was. Zitao ran from the room. Cosette enjoyed the moment, her eyes shining from the laughter she held inside. Taking the mask from her, you started after Zitao, but Gao caught you by your upper arm.

“Where are you going?”

You refused to answer. You stomped on his foot to make him let go and ran out the door. “Zitao! Zitao!” It was too late. He had already mounted his horse and was getting smaller as he raced down the cobbled road away from the ballroom.

“(y/n)!”

Your father and brother dashed out of the building. To no one’s surprise, Cosette was not to be seen. She was probably hiding, feigning shame from the scene you’d dare to cause in front of some poor sap who was falling for it. Lu stepped next to you, hand on your shoulder. “(y/n)?”

“I want to go home.”

Lu looked to your father, who simply nodded. You were led into their carriage and left the party. No questions were asked, for which you were thankful. You couldn’t do it. Even for your father. You loved Zitao. That wouldn’t change. Besides, after that display, you couldn’t be tied to a man like Gao.

Back at his home, you didn’t go to your room. That might have been the safest place to be, the one area Gao wouldn’t storm into because it belonged to him. No, instead you stayed bravely in the living room. You sat on the couch, hands resting in your lap, as you waited for Gao to return. It took almost an hour, but when he did finally come through the door, you knew that amount of time wasn’t enough to calm him down.

“How dare you humiliate me like that!”

“I didn’t humiliate you,” you said firmly. You looked him directly in the eye so he wouldn’t think that you were going to cower before him. “You did that to yourself.”

“You were carousing with another man!”

“I was dancing with him, nothing else. There was music and other couples. You had left me, so I danced with him.”

“It was him, wasn’t it?” You weren’t even surprised that Gao had put the pieces together. You would think him rather stupid if he hadn’t. Gao stalked towards you. “There was no old woman in a cottage, was there? Cosette was right when she said you had a lover. And here we all thought you were an innocent flower. You are no more than a weed in disguise.”

“And you are as beastly as you claimed Zitao to be!”

Infuriated by your words, Gao reached his hand back, palm flat, to strike. You closed your eyes to brace for the hit. It never came. Opening your eyes, you saw that Lu had intervened, catching Gao’s wrist before he could swing.

“You will not lay a hand on my sister,” Lu commanded through clenched teeth. He didn’t let go until Gao finally wretched his arm away.

“She is still my fiancé!”

“No, I am not.” You yanked the ring that had been drowning you like an anchor at sea off your finger and tossed it so it landed on the floor at Gao’s feet. It clanged and rattled as if angry at the abandonment. “You’re right. I do love him. And as long as he exists, I won’t ever marry you.”

“We will be out of your house by the end of the week,” your father stated from the hallway. You hadn’t realized that he was there. You hoped he hadn’t been witness to all that had transpired.

Gao marched out of the room, muttering under his breath. Lu gave you a look of pity before exiting on his own. Your father continued to stand there for another minute or two. Several times he opened his mouth, but each time he left the words inside. Eventually, he too left you alone.

You couldn’t stay here. You needed to get to Zitao.

You waited a few more hours until you were sure most of the inhabitants were asleep. Then, as quietly as you could, you changed into clothes more fit for a long journey and slipped out the front door. You were sure that Zitao would not stay in town. If he did, well he would just have to be surprised at your appearance at the castle. Mrs. Chan would let you in if need be. You paid for a horse and headed out. Towards your real home.

All night you rode, even when your eyes began to droop, you forced yourself to stay awake, slapping your cheek if needed. You had to put as much space between you and your family. Between you and Gao. When you came to the same small village as the inn that you stayed at, you didn’t stop too long to rest. It was already midday by that time. You switched out horses and ate a quick meal before starting again. You were too determined to be slowed down. It was dark once again when you reached the country manor. Close to midnight if you had to guess. Going into the forest at this time would be reckless. You needed to get to Zitao, but you didn’t want to die in the process. It could wait until morning. You still had a whole day on your family. You tied the horse up near a pile of hay outside then went through the back door that had been kept unlocked. The memory in your feet carried you up the stairs to your room. You didn’t even bother pulling back the sheets. As your head hit the dust-covered pillow you fell asleep.

When your eyes opened, it was still dark. Odd. You felt well rested – more than rested. Leaving the room, you went down the stairs to the living room, where a small clock still sat on the mantle of the fireplace. It read that it was eight o’clock. How?

No. Could you really have slept throughout the entire day? That was what you got for not resting during your trip.

Bang! Bang! Bang! “(Y/n)! (Y/n) are you in there!”

Mrs. Chan?

You rushed to the door to see the old woman looking terrified, her hair falling out in bits from underneath her bonnet.

“Oh, thank goodness!” She threw her arms around you before pulling back and grabbing your hand. “Come! You must come quickly!”

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Pure fear ran cold through your veins. Was Zitao planning on hurting himself?

“Your fiancé arrived earlier today and started spouting nonsense around town. He started saying that Lord Huang had kidnapped you and that he would kill you like he killed his wife. I knew you weren’t at the castle so I hoped and prayed that you would be here. Your fiancé has convinced the villagers to go after Lord Huang. I’m afraid that they might kill him!”

“What?” What madness was this? Only one thing still gave you hope. “But they can’t find the castle, can they?”

“A few of the previous servants still know the way. Hurry, we don’t have much time!” Mrs. Chan scrambled into the open carriage. That would be too slow if you both rode in it. Hopping on to the other horse, you yelled at Mrs. Chan that you were going ahead. You knew the way now and you had to get to him as quickly as humanly possible. Branches and twigs pulled at your sleeves to slow you down as you galloped though the forest. You batted as many as you could away. Nothing could get in your way.

As the trees broke through to the field, you saw them. A mob of torches and pitch forks breaking through the front doors as they yelled in victory. You pushed the horse faster, up the stairs and through the doors. The villagers had surrounded Zitao in the front hall, shouting curses at him and calling him a murderer as others threw rocks at him as he sat on the ground, taking it.

“Leave him alone!”

Some of the villagers gasped in surprise. You jumped down from the horse and shoved them aside until you reached Zitao. You pushed his hair from his face. He didn’t seem badly injured. A drop of blood ran down his face, but it didn’t look dire. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he grunted as he tried to push away. “Get out of here. Before you get hurt.”

“No!” You sprang to your feet and stared the villagers all down. “You come in here, unprovoked, and call him a monster! The only monsters I see here are you for believing a man like that!” You point to Gao who showed no remorse for his actions.

“He kidnapped you!” a man from the circle yelled.

“No, he didn’t! I left the city of my own accord!”

“He killed his wife!” another argued.

“That is a lie!” The circle parted again as Mrs. Chan came into view. A fury burned in her eyes. “I was there that night. He didn’t kill her. If you have evidence against my word, then get the constable involved. But I will swear in court that he didn’t do it.”

No one could argue with a declaration like that. Murmurs began to ripple through the crowd. Glances were exchanged. Then mumble apologies as the villagers lost their fight. In groups of two or three, they began to head towards the door. Letting out a slight groan, Zitao tried to push himself up. You let him lean on you as he made it the rest of the way.

“Where are you going?” Gao shouted at the villagers’ backs. “He’s a monster! A beast! Just look at him! He’ll ruin your village! What about those he cast out? Left jobless through his cruelty? Are you all cowards?” No one even turned to look at him. Furious, Gao turned to the two of you. His eyes were full of hatred. “You will regret this.” He leveled his gun. Aimed at you.

“No!”

Zitao jumped in front of you right as the gun went off. He fell to the ground as he clung to his side. Blood seeped through his fingers. Gao ran off. The real coward.

“No, no, no. Please, no.” You dropped to your knees and forced Zitao’s hands away from the wound. There was so much blood that you couldn’t see how bad it was. Your hands were covered in seconds. Zitao was already beginning to sway back and forth from the loss. Mrs. Chan was by your side in an instant.

“We need to get him into bed so I can see to his wound.”

“Just let it go,” Zitao groaned. “Maybe it’s better this way.”

“Shut up!” you snapped at him. “Don’t talk like that. Now get up.”

Zitao stared at you for a beat before nodding and letting you get him to his feet. Mrs. Chan helped you get him up the stairs and to his room where he lied down on top of the blankets. He protested when Mrs. Chan cut away at his shirt, but a slap of her hand shut him right up.

“Bring me the pitcher,” Mrs. Chan ordered of you. Without thinking twice, you ran to the dresser and brought the pitcher to her. With a clean cloth in her hand, Mrs. Chan washed the wound to get a better look. She let out a sigh of relief. “It only grazed his side. He should be alright. As long as we get it closed and it doesn’t become infected.”

You weren’t sure if you could believe her. Zitao had drifted off, his eyes closed, completely still. Only his chest moving up and down as his lungs filled with air gave you hope. Mrs. Chan stood up and left the room. She came back with a needle and thread in her hand. She didn’t flinch as she pierced his side to stitch the wound closed. Zitao whimpered at the sharp pain. You moved to sit by his head and grabbed his hand. You kissed the back of his fingers in comfort. When Mrs. Chan was finished, she stood up and sighed.

“He’ll be alright. The wound is closed and wasn’t too severe. He’ll have a scar, but at this point….” She shrugged. With her hand crusted with dried blood, she brushed the hair off Zitao’s forehead. “The poor dear.” Then, she left.

Feeling brave and unwilling to leave him in case something else were to happen, you shifted so you were now laying down next to Zitao. He was more peaceful now; his face smooth, no longer revealing discomfort or pain. You rested your chin on his shoulder. With the tip of your finger, you traced the outline of his mask, down his nose to his chin. Then you sat up and let go of his hand to untie the mask. Zitao didn’t move as you pulled the covering from his face and set it down on the nightstand. You kissed his cheek before settling back down and falling asleep yourself.

You woke to a slight tickling sensation on your cheek. Letting your eyelids flutter open, you let out a slight laugh when you saw Zitao awake. He was smiling at you as well while caressing your skin. He hadn’t replaced the mask, letting you see the light, protruding scars on his cheek and forehead.

“Good morning,” he greeted softly.

“You’re alright.”

He nodded. A small tear fell down your cheek. With his thumb, he wiped it away.

Slowly, as if scared you might run away, he leaned in, his eyes drifting down to your lips. At first, the contact was so soft you thought that perhaps he hadn’t kissed you at all. But as the pressure grew, your eyes closed again, and you entangled your fingers in his hair. You were losing yourself in the kiss, happy that he was alive and that you were with him. But his confession at the party pushed itself to the forefront of your mind. You broke off the kiss. Sitting up, you turned away from him.

“What is it?” Zitao asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

You looked at him over your shoulder. “If I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly? Please?”

He reached out and grabbed your hand, bring it to his chest. “I swear.”

You turned to face him fully. As gently as you could, you placed your fingertips on his scar. He didn’t flinch back. “What happened that night? You said you killed her. But I don’t believe that.”

Zitao cringed as if in pain. He looked off to the side before coming back to you.

“I loved her. I swear I did. And I thought she loved me, too. But I was wrong.” He lowered the hand that held on to your fingers, keeping his focus there. “Soon after we were married, I found out that she had a lover, that she didn’t have any feelings for me. I told her I was going to put in a petition for divorce, that I was going to throw her out. That night, she slipped a sleeping potion into my wine at dinner, but I was too upset to drink it all. It didn’t matter. The servants who saw me thought I was drunk as I stumbled to our room. I woke up before she was expecting. Her lover was there, helping her start a fire. I’m sure they were thinking of killing me so she would inherit everything.”

He took a deep breath. You squeezed his hand to let him know that he hadn’t lost you.

“I fought with the man, trying to stop him from ruining my home. My wife tried to get between us, but… one of us – I don’t know who – shoved her away hard enough that she hit her head on the sharp edge of a dresser, falling to the ground. I called out her name. When I was distracted, the man hit me with something hard, knocking me out. I didn’t come to until the fire was put out. The fire had made it over to me. My left side was wrapped in bandages. The man was gone and my wife was dead.”

He didn’t kill her. You knew that in your heart. He didn’t maliciously set out for her to die. He was only protecting himself, his family’s legacy.

You threw your arms around him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I could have been the one who pushed her.”

Leaning back, you repeated, “It wasn’t your fault.” The memory of that final night came back to you. “Is that why you made me leave? Did you think you would hurt me?”

Zitao shook his head. “No. I was scared you might hurt me. When you whispered my name, I heard her again. I couldn’t go through that. I couldn’t risk being used like that again.” His eyes finally raised back up to meet yours. He caressed your cheek with his knuckles, the gesture absent of fear. “But you’re not her. It took me too long to realize that. (Y/n), can you forgive me for being so stupid?”

“Of course,” you said between your tears. “Of course, I can. I love you, Zitao.”

Happiness could not be enough to describe the elation shining from his smile. Encapsulating your face in his hands, he pulled you forward and captured your lips again. He kissed you deeply, wrapping his arms around you until you were pressed tightly against his chest. He ended it only to ask a single question.

“Will you marry me?”

You barely gave a nod before he resumed the kiss.

It was a beautiful day for an outdoor wedding day. The sky was a soft baby blue. A few puffs of white clouds floated through, but nothing gave you worry about rain. It wasn’t too hot or too cold and only a slight breeze interrupted the festivities every once in a while. The guests ran around the field, laughing and playing while you sat in a chair, a veil draped around your shoulders.

“You look beautiful.” Your father beamed with pride as he kissed the top of your head.

“Thank you.” Your face was aching from all the smiling, but you couldn’t stop. Happiness of this level couldn’t be contained or controlled. It needed to be shared.

Lu was standing a few feet away, talking to a baron who had been friends with Zitao’s father. Sitting in a chair with her signature fan in her hand, Cosette wore a snarl on her face. She was probably thinking about how hard it would be to outdo you in marrying a lord. Not that you cared. She would be taken care of, far away from here. Speaking of your husband, he came walking back up with a glass of wine in his hand after making the rounds of thanking guests.

“You will take care of her?” your father asked Zitao for the hundredth time. Your husband took it with stride, beaming in the sunlight.

“Of course,” he answered. “For the rest of my life.” Putting the drink down, he held a hand out to you, but kept his attention on your father. “May I steal her for a moment?”

“Yes, yes,” your father chuckled. “It’s your wedding day after all.”

Zitao tugged you to your feet and led you away from the festivities. He kept going until you were no longer insight of the others. The lone gazebo that sat near the lake on the grounds came closer. Within its walls, no one would be able to find you.

“Finally, I have you alone again.”

You laughed. “You will have me alone for a very long in the future. It’s rude to leave our guests in the middle of the reception.”

“I don’t care if it’s rude,” Zitao stated. You knew he really didn’t care. And ou couldn’t quite find it in yourself to care either. “Dance with me.”

“What?” You looked around but didn’t see a hidden band. “There’s no music.”

“Yes, there is. You are the music.”

You wanted to laugh at his sentimental statement. However, the way he said it melted your heart. So, you gave in, letting him pull you in and rock you back and forth across the wooden floor of the gazebo. He kept his eyes on you, never faltering for a second.

“I love you,” he said suddenly. He’d said it before but your heart still soared whenever you heard that phrase fall from his lips.

“I love you, too.” And you would make sure that he knew it, every day for the rest of your lives. He might not have had the fairy tale ending the first time around, but you were selfishly thankful. Because it gave way for you to meet him and heal his heart. And so, the two of you would live happily ever after.

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