#zhuixing’s empty wallet

[stardust-falling]

As many of you know, I’ve been struggling to make ends meet for the greater part of the year, between car repairs, medical expenses, and my partner’s job cutting his hours. We’ve barely been scraping by for a bit now, but he still hasn’t gotten more hours and there’s a very low limit to how much outside work I can take on due to disability.

This month, the problems of living in a car-dependent society have struck again— the car is overdue for an oil change because we haven’t been able to afford it, and on top of that, there is a property tax bill due at the beginning of next month (December 5).

Quite frankly, there’s no way we’re going to be able to scrape out another extra 500 dollars (400 for property tax, 100 for service) by the end of the month, so if you enjoy my writing, or art, or general posting and have a little to spare, then please consider donating through PayPal or Ko-Fi or joining my Patreon! Any little bit helps and is massively appreciated.

Thank you so much <3 UPDATE:

Wellll.... updating this because I'm going to need to get a new passport in the next few months as well :')

So that will be an additional 170 dollars that I don't have.

Anywayyyyyy...

156/670

[stardust-falling]

Unfortunately, I am once again asking for assistance.

Due to several factors I don't really want to talk about, I've suffered a series of mental health episodes over the past few weeks that have left me, quite frankly, in the worst state since... basically before I started working on trauma recovery. I've come pretty close to being hospitalized a few times, but aside from the additional trauma that might incur, I also just simply couldn't afford it.

My ability to work an outside job was already limited by my C/PTSD among other things, but for right now, I can't even think about picking up a shift without having a panic attack. I can still force myself to do things if necessary, but... honestly I really need to be able to not do that, at least for a little while until I can get back on track.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to take a break with no income. A few surprise expenses came up recently which very nearly brought everything crashing down. It's only thanks to the support of my followers and fans that we were able to scrape by, but right now there's no buffer whatsoever. My partner's already working as much as he can, and almost his entire paycheck is going to rent payments and other bills. I can't ask him to work even more to cover my expenses as well.

Last month, I had to skip getting a prescription filled. I can't do that again. My cats are more than six months past due for their shots just because we can't afford it, and I'm stressed every day that I might lose them because of this. They are my literal lifeline.

To cover my own expenses, I need a bare minimum of $600 USD a month, broken down as follows:

Medication: $100

Medical Debt Bills: $300 (total $6000)

Credit Card Bills: $100 (total $3500)

Utility Bills: $100

This is just literally what I can't afford to stop paying no matter what, it doesn't cover groceries or gas, and I also need an additional one-time $500 to take my cats to the vet.

Any percentage of this that I can make through ko-fi tips, donations, requests, and patreon pledges is more time I don't have to spend forcing myself through panic attacks and hallucinations to work an outside job.

I'm hoping to get to a more stable place both mentally and financially eventually, but for now... I'm stuck. I'm stuck and it scares me. I want to heal, but right now it's like all the work I've already done and the progress I've made is evaporating. I'm struggling to keep up with even the most basic daily tasks, let alone my creativity and emotional well-being.

If you can help support me, I'm really, really grateful. The best way to do so would be through joining my Patreon, but really anything helps. I have some requests open on my ko-fi if you'd like to get something out of it, and here is a link to donate directly to my Paypal if you'd prefer that. I'm not really in a stable-enough place to make a full commitment right now, but if you leave a note with your donation that includes your url and a character name (or just a character on ko-fi), then I'll do a little doodle for you as thanks once I... am not struggling so much with the urge to delete myself from existing.

Thank you.

[stardust-falling]

Running very low on funds on account of the Covid and surrounding circumstances. Still need about 80 USD to cover medication this month, so if anyone wanted to help out it’d be greatly appreciated. Here’s my linktree with different ways to support me, thanks so much to anyone who can or shares <3

[stardust-falling]

I’ve just had a bunch of bills go through, and now my bank account is once again just about completely empty with more than a week before I get paid.

If you like my work, tips would be greatly appreciated, requests even more so, and becoming a patron most of all since that helps me have a more consistent, stable income.

[stardust-falling]

One misfortune follows another, and now my partner's job is cutting his hours even though they ASSURED him they wouldn't :/

Sooooo... that's happening, and between my ongoing mental health crisis and the fact that I somehow managed to fuck up my neck and upper back, I don't really have many options as far as trying to make up for the lost income.

Anyway, that's still on top of my own expenses, and now having to worry about being able to make rent or not, so if anyone feels like helping out for this month here's my ko-fi, paypal, and patreon if you'd like to support me regularly and also read my stories, thanks so much to everyone who has financially supported me in the past, I'm sorry to have to keep doing this but I'm just not at a good place rn and the instability is causing a lot of issues.

[stardust-falling]

Alas, the misery of living in the USA and having medical bills strikes once again, and I'm going to be short a few hundred dollars on bills for the next month, so I must once again ask for some assistance.

It's been a really difficult few months financially, and we've barely been pulling by with just bills, food & essentials since I haven't been able to work my day job at all since December, and I've only just been able to start up again bit by bit, but I won't see a paycheck until after bills are due so... yeah.

Anyway, since I really need to make up the difference this month, I'm offering a limited number of doodle & ficlet requests on my ko-fi. I'll take your prompt and create a doodle or ficlet from it, in return for a $10 minimum donation (please note, for legal reasons this is not a commission-- it is more of a thank-you gift that lets you specify what you get).

Here is the doodle request and here is the ficlet request! I am starting with 5 available slots for each, but I will open up slots each time I complete one for as long as necessary. If you wish to support me without making a request, feel free to buy me a ko-fi or visit my patreon, where you can read my original novel, Ghosts of the Heart!

Fandoms I will draw for include: SVSSS, MDZS, Genshin, Star Wars (prequels/old republic), Ghosts of the Heart, OC Fandoms I will write for include: SVSSS, MDZS, Genshin, Star Wars (prequels/old republic), Tai Sui

Thanks to everyone for your support! It's greatly appreciated! Reblogging this post is also appreciated, since I don't tag donation/assistance posts for any sort of reach.

[stardust-falling]

Just in case anyone likes my creations and ever wanted to buy me a gift, I've made a Throne Wishlist with a few things that I need in my life as well as some treats and such that I just want for fun (mainly blorbo related, things I don't really feel justified buying for myself with no reason).

I've been going through a lot of various difficulties of the health-and-finances sort, so I thought I'd at least make this if anyone would be interested. Nothing on here is super high-priority, mostly just would be nice to have. Thanks to everyone who checks it out, I might add other things from time to time as well.

[stardust-falling]

坠星落尘 / Zhuixing | He/They | Adult™

writer, artist, musician, and connoisseur of tragic little men

*****

follow my progress on myWriteClub!

*****

I post and reblog everything on this blog, from fandom to art and writing projects to general life things. By following me you accept the risk of getting infected with whatever new fandom or hobby I end up collapsing into.

Shy and anxious around people, but very passionate about my interests. Feel free to chat with me in 中文 or Español as well if you'd like! Discord is also available if we've been chatting for a bit, but I can't promise I'm very consistent with that.

I'm basically in a constant financial struggle, so if you enjoy my writing/art/posts/general nonsense, any sort of support is always appreciated.

Due to my mental health, I can't reblog donation or fundraising posts right now.

*****

CURRENT WRITING PROJECTS

Ghosts of the Heart (Original Novel) | Updates Tuesdays Read the first book/current chapters free on Patreon, AO3, or Royal Road

The Scum Villain's Loss-Prevention Opportunity (SVSSS) | Semi-Hiatus Read on AO3

*****

Main fandoms are EPIC: The Musical/The Odyssey, Genshin Impact, and SVSSS, but this is always subject to change, and others may appear from time to time.

Though I enjoy debating characterization and literature, I don't really like to mess around with any sort of discourse/shipcourse/anything like that where there's implications being made about real-life people and their real-life morality. HOWEVER, if you're someone with "pro-ship dni" in your bio, I'll probably block you because I don't want anything to do with anti rhetoric, thanks.

I tag all ships with the most common ship tag when they appear on my blog. If you don't like a ship but still want to follow me, feel free to just block whatever tags you feel like. Same with fandoms/characters, though I'm not always as consistent with that. If you need a post of mine to be tagged, please let me know!

More tags and such below the cut!!

my creations:

zhuixing writing: my fics & original stories-- including update posts, behind-the-scenes posts, etc. — ※ ghosts of the heart: posts about my original danmei novel

zhuixing art: my artwork

my original fandom posts or substantial additions:

zhuixing svsss

zhuixing epic

zhuixing genshin

catalog:

library: reference & educational reblogs-- go here if you want to learn something new!

wardrobe: clothing information & images. mostly hanfu

art gallery: reblogged art

cool rocks: rock collection

pretty moths: moth image, gif, & video collection

good news: record of good things that have happened in the world, to combat the pessimism

blocklist:

zhuixing cuts onions -- tag for vent/traumaposting/etc

zhuixing adds chili peppers -- tag for ns/fw or suggestive posts

zhuixing stirs the soup -- tag for any discourse-related posts

zhuixing reads the news -- tag for any kind of current-events related posts

zhuixing’s empty wallet — tag for my mutual aid posts when I need money badly

[stardust-falling]

I’m so, so beyond grateful and stunned for the support I’ve received so far. I was able to get my medication and pay the utility bills and a good portion of the medical and credit card bills for this month.

Unfortunately this need is recurring, and right now I’m still at a point where even thinking about going in for a job is causing near-breakdown levels of anxiety, plus my partner’s paycheck has run out so we’re having a difficult time affording things like gas and groceries, some of which are unavoidable necessities.

Again, thank you for support and for sharing this post. I hate having to do this, especially in times like the present, but I really don’t have much other options and have genuinely tried all I can to “make a living” otherwise.

Unfortunately, I am once again asking for assistance.

Due to several factors I don't really want to talk about, I've suffered a series of mental health episodes over the past few weeks that have left me, quite frankly, in the worst state since... basically before I started working on trauma recovery. I've come pretty close to being hospitalized a few times, but aside from the additional trauma that might incur, I also just simply couldn't afford it.

My ability to work an outside job was already limited by my C/PTSD among other things, but for right now, I can't even think about picking up a shift without having a panic attack. I can still force myself to do things if necessary, but... honestly I really need to be able to not do that, at least for a little while until I can get back on track.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to take a break with no income. A few surprise expenses came up recently which very nearly brought everything crashing down. It's only thanks to the support of my followers and fans that we were able to scrape by, but right now there's no buffer whatsoever. My partner's already working as much as he can, and almost his entire paycheck is going to rent payments and other bills. I can't ask him to work even more to cover my expenses as well.

Last month, I had to skip getting a prescription filled. I can't do that again. My cats are more than six months past due for their shots just because we can't afford it, and I'm stressed every day that I might lose them because of this. They are my literal lifeline.

To cover my own expenses, I need a bare minimum of $600 USD a month, broken down as follows:

Medication: $100

Medical Debt Bills: $300 (total $6000)

Credit Card Bills: $100 (total $3500)

Utility Bills: $100

This is just literally what I can't afford to stop paying no matter what, it doesn't cover groceries or gas, and I also need an additional one-time $500 to take my cats to the vet.

Any percentage of this that I can make through ko-fi tips, donations, requests, and patreon pledges is more time I don't have to spend forcing myself through panic attacks and hallucinations to work an outside job.

I'm hoping to get to a more stable place both mentally and financially eventually, but for now... I'm stuck. I'm stuck and it scares me. I want to heal, but right now it's like all the work I've already done and the progress I've made is evaporating. I'm struggling to keep up with even the most basic daily tasks, let alone my creativity and emotional well-being.

If you can help support me, I'm really, really grateful. The best way to do so would be through joining my Patreon, but really anything helps. I have some requests open on my ko-fi if you'd like to get something out of it, and here is a link to donate directly to my Paypal if you'd prefer that. I'm not really in a stable-enough place to make a full commitment right now, but if you leave a note with your donation that includes your url and a character name (or just a character on ko-fi), then I'll do a little doodle for you as thanks once I... am not struggling so much with the urge to delete myself from existing.

Thank you.

[stardust-falling]

$10/80

Running very low on funds on account of the Covid and surrounding circumstances. Still need about 80 USD to cover medication this month, so if anyone wanted to help out it’d be greatly appreciated. Here’s my linktree with different ways to support me, thanks so much to anyone who can or shares <3

[stardust-falling]

$260/80 !!! Thank you so much to everyone!! Now I have enough for medicine as well as some groceries & upcoming bills.

Running very low on funds on account of the Covid and surrounding circumstances. Still need about 80 USD to cover medication this month, so if anyone wanted to help out it’d be greatly appreciated. Here’s my linktree with different ways to support me, thanks so much to anyone who can or shares <3

[stardust-falling]

I'm actually crying right now. Already two thirds of this month's remaining needs have been met. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I always fear asking for help and for support, that I don't deserve it, I also look at the world around me and see so many people and causes who also need help. I want to be the one to give help, and I hope someday to be able to do so in return, if not financially then at least making things that create more happiness in the world. For now... the first is impossible, the second difficult, and it's hard for me to come to terms with. I have a lot of issues surrounding guilt, and it can make it hard to accept that I do need help.

This alone has lifted, at least for now, a massive weight from my shoulders. In some ways I feel like I'm able to start breathing. My struggles certainly are not the worst in this world, and yet for me it is crushing.

Thank you for supporting me financially, thank you for following me, thank you for reading my work. I hope that someday I can be worth the help, and give back to those that helped me and to those who need it. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the support I receive here gives me hope to continue living.

Unfortunately, I am once again asking for assistance.

Due to several factors I don't really want to talk about, I've suffered a series of mental health episodes over the past few weeks that have left me, quite frankly, in the worst state since... basically before I started working on trauma recovery. I've come pretty close to being hospitalized a few times, but aside from the additional trauma that might incur, I also just simply couldn't afford it.

My ability to work an outside job was already limited by my C/PTSD among other things, but for right now, I can't even think about picking up a shift without having a panic attack. I can still force myself to do things if necessary, but... honestly I really need to be able to not do that, at least for a little while until I can get back on track.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to take a break with no income. A few surprise expenses came up recently which very nearly brought everything crashing down. It's only thanks to the support of my followers and fans that we were able to scrape by, but right now there's no buffer whatsoever. My partner's already working as much as he can, and almost his entire paycheck is going to rent payments and other bills. I can't ask him to work even more to cover my expenses as well.

Last month, I had to skip getting a prescription filled. I can't do that again. My cats are more than six months past due for their shots just because we can't afford it, and I'm stressed every day that I might lose them because of this. They are my literal lifeline.

To cover my own expenses, I need a bare minimum of $600 USD a month, broken down as follows:

Medication: $100

Medical Debt Bills: $300 (total $6000)

Credit Card Bills: $100 (total $3500)

Utility Bills: $100

This is just literally what I can't afford to stop paying no matter what, it doesn't cover groceries or gas, and I also need an additional one-time $500 to take my cats to the vet.

Any percentage of this that I can make through ko-fi tips, donations, requests, and patreon pledges is more time I don't have to spend forcing myself through panic attacks and hallucinations to work an outside job.

I'm hoping to get to a more stable place both mentally and financially eventually, but for now... I'm stuck. I'm stuck and it scares me. I want to heal, but right now it's like all the work I've already done and the progress I've made is evaporating. I'm struggling to keep up with even the most basic daily tasks, let alone my creativity and emotional well-being.

If you can help support me, I'm really, really grateful. The best way to do so would be through joining my Patreon, but really anything helps. I have some requests open on my ko-fi if you'd like to get something out of it, and here is a link to donate directly to my Paypal if you'd prefer that. I'm not really in a stable-enough place to make a full commitment right now, but if you leave a note with your donation that includes your url and a character name (or just a character on ko-fi), then I'll do a little doodle for you as thanks once I... am not struggling so much with the urge to delete myself from existing.

Thank you.

[stardust-falling]

Thanks for everyone’s support so far. It means a lot to me! There are still four slots of each time of request available, I hope to work on the ones I get over the next week or so.

Alas, the misery of living in the USA and having medical bills strikes once again, and I'm going to be short a few hundred dollars on bills for the next month, so I must once again ask for some assistance.

It's been a really difficult few months financially, and we've barely been pulling by with just bills, food & essentials since I haven't been able to work my day job at all since December, and I've only just been able to start up again bit by bit, but I won't see a paycheck until after bills are due so... yeah.

Anyway, since I really need to make up the difference this month, I'm offering a limited number of doodle & ficlet requests on my ko-fi. I'll take your prompt and create a doodle or ficlet from it, in return for a $10 minimum donation (please note, for legal reasons this is not a commission-- it is more of a thank-you gift that lets you specify what you get).

Here is the doodle request and here is the ficlet request! I am starting with 5 available slots for each, but I will open up slots each time I complete one for as long as necessary. If you wish to support me without making a request, feel free to buy me a ko-fi or visit my patreon, where you can read my original novel, Ghosts of the Heart!

Fandoms I will draw for include: SVSSS, MDZS, Genshin, Star Wars (prequels/old republic), Ghosts of the Heart, OC Fandoms I will write for include: SVSSS, MDZS, Genshin, Star Wars (prequels/old republic), Tai Sui

Thanks to everyone for your support! It's greatly appreciated! Reblogging this post is also appreciated, since I don't tag donation/assistance posts for any sort of reach.