#zbram!

[luigi-mcdingle]

The Nintendo Badge Arcade is probably my favorite thing Nintendo has ever done ever in their history

This daily game that feeds into my love of arcades, with the BEST host character ever who NEEDS to be represented more, and it gives you exclusive functionality on the 3DS HOME menu??

Checking the machines every week, getting SUPER excited when there was some cool unique design or a character I really liked, using all my skill on earning free plays in the practice machine, getting PUMPED OUT OF MY MIND at the privilege of buying more plays and getting all the badges I want

Seeing the HOME menus others posted on Miiverse (which i may have to ramble about later) featured IN THE GAME, posting my own with fingers crossed

Talking to the bunny every day, all these unique conversations that made him feel REAL, some of which may or may not be lost to time??

Decorating my HOME menu to look like a retro game, mixing and matching themes and badges from all my favorite series, displaying my hyperfixations loud and proud

NOTHING before or since, from any company, has beaten the Badge Arcade in sheer CHARM and FUN (xbox 360 avatars came close with the ability to unlock cosmetics by playing games)

Bring back the Badge Arcade for Switch please :(

[luigi-mcdingle]

k so i very rarely hear anyone talk about Archon: The Light and the Dark so im gonna do that now

it's a chess video game released originally in 1983 for Atari, but it's gotten a ton of ports and a 2010 remake; that's available on Steam and is recommended, but im most used to the NES version so that's where my screenshots will be from

it's, again, a chess game, but it's largely fantasy themed, with all your pieces taking the form of mythological creatures like giants, trolls, manticores, djinns, etc etc

your king is a wizard who can cast spells, able to do things like freeze enemy pieces and revive dead pieces

that'd be cool or whatever, but like it's just chess right?

WRONG

WHEN TWO PIECES COLLIDE THEY GO INTO REAL TIME COMBAT

every piece has different health, speed, and attack types; the black side's banshee is my favorite, as it's really fast and has an aura of constant damage

to aid in getting into fights, pieces have movement distance instead of the set patterns of regular chess pieces; the basilisk has a range of 3, so it can move 3 tiles in one turn, direction irrelevant

there's also (what i call) a day/night cycle of sorts, where squares on the board will gradually shift colors every turn, and pieces getting into combat on their own side's color will get a health boost

players win by either killing all of the other player's pieces or by having a piece on each of the 5 glowing spots on the board; one in the center and one on each edge

i really love this game and if you haven't played it i 1000% recommend giving it a shot; again, i played the NES game so that's my recommendation to start with using your Real Nintendo Console wink wink, then if you like it I definitely recommend the remake, it has 4-player modes, online multiplayer, and even a variety of map layouts

[luigi-mcdingle]

I've got some less-than-orthodox ideas about harpies, so let's get into that today

Historically, harpies are mythological creatures featured in plenty of ancient texts from Greece to Rome, known for being heralds of the wind, guardians of the sky, and/or creatures under the command of the deity of the writer's choice. They're usually depicted as winged bipedal things with the face of a woman.

In more recent times, harpies, like many ancient mythological creatures, have become a staple of the fantasy genre, especially in video games. In that medium and over the years, harpies have taken a number of forms that I've come to classify into three groups: Feral, Wild, and Domestic.

Feral harpies, like the one seen in this concept art for Dragon's Dogma, are closest to their original mythological incarnations, though leaning more on the "attack dog of the underworld" side of the mythos. They're monsters through and through, ugly, ravenous beasts who know only hunger and death-- good for introducing players to flying enemies.

Wild harpies, like this one from Dungeons & Dragons are more humanoid and intelligent. They've lived near civilized races and have picked up the concepts of language and socializing, but still aren't typically to be trusted. This is the most common form of harpy seen in tabletop RPGs, and they more ably embody the myths that view harpies as greedy and treacherous; you'll often see wild harpies coveting shiny objects and stealing from unwary travelers.

Domestic harpies are where I usually lose people.

Domestic harpies are usually not called "harpies", but otherwise check off all the marks: Winged bipedal creatures with humanoid faces that inhabit the winds and sky as their domain. Rito from Zelda, Avians from Starbound, hell, even the Birdpeople from Rick and Morty can be considered a cousin of harpies. I find it difficult to discern where else in historical storytelling these sorts of races could come from, but most people seem to not make the connection. Perhaps that's just a good indication of how storytelling and myth has evolved over the centuries.

oh, also, smash

[luigi-mcdingle]

So I really love Cream the Rabbit, she's like my favorite character in all of fiction, she's so great, and I've always been sad that she isn't playable in more games; thus, I started brainstorming what a game entirely focused on Cream would look like!

I settled on survival horror. I will not be taking questions. Here's a concept I wrote for story and basic gameplay; if I had any artistic ability I'd draw concept art (i have one image in mind of Cream in a kitchen, hiding under a counter with her ears over her eyes as a monstrous robot with glowing red headlights passes by), but this is where we are.

In the night, Sonic's friends are captured by Dr. Eggman! They are brought to his Eggmanland theme park under the crushing power of new and improved robots and scattered across the park in cells. Bigger, stronger, and smarter than anything Eggman has created before, the secret to his new Badniks' supreme might is that they are infused with the spirits of ancient echidna warriors.

Enraged by the mistreatment of her people's eternal souls, a powerful echidna seer whose spirit remains free plans to help. She focuses her spirit energy into an artifact, a circlet that would bestow great power to an echidna warrior. She plans to send this to Knuckles, who is held in the center of the park-- but even a seer is not omnipotent, and fate has other plans.

Knuckles and Cream are held in the same cell near the center of Eggmanland. Suddenly, two enhanced Badniks burst in, carrying Knuckles away to who-knows-where. Just as the door slams and Cream is left alone, a bright flash lights the cell, and in its place, a gold circlet lay on the floor. Cream, knowing this can't be Eggman's doing, places the circlet on her head and is immediately accosted by an unseen voice. The seer explains that her power is now irrevocably linked to Cream, and though it was meant for an echidna, Cream is capable of utilizing it.

The seer puts Cream in touch with Sonic, stopping him in his tracks as he plans to destroy Eggmanland; now that Cream tells him all his friends are trapped inside, a change of plans is needed. Sonic convinces Cream to use her mysterious new power to get everyone out of the park and into safety so Sonic can save the day.

The player is set on a tutorial mission to rescue Cheese. They're taught basic movement and how to bypass Badniks by hiding in designated areas, as well as using the Seer's power to detect items and incoming enemies with a colored aura and alarming noise. After getting to the nearby cage containing Cheese, a second tutorial teaches the player how to use Cream and Cheese in tandem; while Cream is needed to perform important actions like opening doors and moving objects, Cheese can assist in puzzle solving by carrying items and fitting into small spaces, as well as being able to be controlled to perform recon and provide distractions when needed.

With Cream and Cheese reunited, the Seer contacts Sonic to reveal the true gravity of the situation: Eggman is developing a superweapon underneath the park that, if allowed to finish construction, would transform the planet into a robotic dystopia under Eggman's rule. Thus, Cream is imposed with a time limit; if she can't rescue everyone before the weapon is complete, Sonic will be forced to get her out and destroy the park, dooming anyone left behind.

From here, Cream's original cell is established as a safe zone for her and Cheese to rest and heal under the Seer's protection. When outside the cell, a real timer counts the minutes to the park's destruction. The player is free to explore the park and find clues to the other characters' whereabouts, who can be rescued in any order with the exception of Knuckles, who must be rescued last. Each time a friend is rescued, their holding area becomes a new safe zone with new features, such as the ability to craft things like healing items and throwables with ingredients scavenged around the park.

If the player fails to rescue everyone before time runs out, they will receive the bad ending, wherein Sonic destroys the park and anyone not rescued, along with all the enhanced Badniks, will remain in Eggman's grasp. The remaining friends will be turned into robots, with Knuckles embodying a massive, intimidating mech.

If the player succeeds in rescuing everyone, they will gain access to the hidden chambers under the park, where they will be able to rescue Knuckles and use everyone's help to destroy the superweapon. The Seer fuses with the remains of the weapon and uses it to free all the echidnas' spirits, rendering the enhanced Badniks useless and officially foiling Eggman's plans.

[luigi-mcdingle]

a while back, out of sheer morbid curiosity, i went back to beta version 1.7.3 of minecraft (the earliest version i could find new records of people playing) yknow, to see what was different and if it was still any good that far back it was. um. not? i mean i guess i see the appeal but i couldn't play without the ability to sprint, no end, no enchanting, no hunger? but that's just me, again i see the appeal then, again out of morbid curiosity, i upgraded to version 1.0.0, expecting a similar experience i now have 142 hours on my 1.0.0 world. | v

this version of minecraft is, compared to today's vision of minecraft, simple so many things we tend to take for granted aren't there, like stained glass, hoppers, maps, item frames, villages, horses, stone walls... you get the point

i didn't expect to put more than an hour or so into this world before going back to my heavily-modded 1.16.5 world or making a new 1.20 world, but something about it just kept me entranced there were simple goals and simple ways to reach it, but the basic gameplay was just so fun

i've always thought modern minecraft was kinda bloated, and this really cemented that feeling; we didn't need frogs or ocean monuments or horses or redstone comparators or any of the stuff that has been added since that time

yeah, it'd be nice for some of the modern quality of life features to be available like pressing ctrl to sprint or sheep being able to regrow their wool, but it's not needed minecraft became popular because the concept is perfect as is; your imagination really fuels things before i realized i was having so much fun, i was doing things i had never done before in my thousands of hours of minecraft, like building functional mob grinders, mining out slime chunks, and making elaborate redstone contraptions

(the walls of the lower room in this pic ^ are made of mushroom blocks... that i had to manually push into the room one by one with pistons because silk touch only gave solid brown mushroom blocks, no red ones) when i decided i was getting bored of this world, i went to good ol curseforge and downloaded about a hundred mods for 1.16.5 and played that... for maybe five hours, then i went right back to 1.0.0. yeah, i know, those are kinda polar opposites in terms of content and bloat, but it says something, right?

(yes that's the animal crossing train station) the one thing i ended up doing in this world that i had never done, that i honestly thought id never do, was go to the end and kill the enderdragon. yeah, in thousands of hours playing this game, i never once beat it. id always make a world, dick around for a while, then stop playing and eventually come back and start the whole process again... that or id play on multiplayer servers. remember mineplex? i should ramble about that one day...

i had known about the ending poem, especially since the whole thing with it becoming public domain (have you read the author's blog post about that situation? where he talks about how he took a bunch of shrooms in the woods and God told him what to write, and the end poem was the result?) but i never read it because... well, i just never felt like it, really. reading it for the first time after my long playthrough of this simple, fun version of minecraft that i so quickly grew to love so much was... something else. id say you should read the poem (it's available online, obviously) but it really doesn't work nearly as well without the experience of a full minecraft playthrough backing it up.

all this talk and im not really sure what my point in all this is. i guess it's something along the lines of "you don't need everything to enjoy life. limitation breeds creativity, and simplicity can bring happiness." or something. i dunno, it's fuckin' minecraft. maybe try making a new world. and having fun.

oh yeah, also i never really got that "creepy feeling" most people seem to get in these older versions of minecraft. i got a little creeped out while strip mining but that's just me not liking corridors.

[luigi-mcdingle]

it makes me really sad when people dunk on games for being different from other installments in their established series

people say Kirby's Dream Land sucks because it doesn't have copy abilities

people say the Zelda DS games suck because they use the touchscreen

people say Paper Mario: Sticker Star sucks because it doesn't have partners and uses a unique combat system

those are all fantastic games that are a complete joy to play through, and i really wish people weren't so quick to judge a game based on its predecessors, especially review outlets and youtubers who can influence public opinions and ruin the reputation of a genuinely great game, like with Sticker Star

if there's a series you like with an installment you've avoided because it's "the one everyone hates," i really suggest you check it out anyway; it might become your favorite!!

[luigi-mcdingle]

im absolutely certain nobody actually cares, but im gonna start tagging all my rambly original posts with #zbram! (short for zoe be rambling!) so my rambling about fixations can be filtered out from reblogs - kinda wish that was a feature of Tumblr and not something i have to do manually, but oh well

[luigi-mcdingle]

in researching color palettes for GBA and gamecube games, i came to the discovery that the yellow player 2 featured in Kirby's Dream Course is not simply a yellow Kirby as in other Kirby games, but is in fact a unique original character named Keeby

he was referenced in the recent Kirby's Dream Buffet with the "Keeby Yellow" color scheme, but beyond that, the character of Keeby is confined to Kirby's Dream Course

[luigi-mcdingle]

if y'all like team fortress 2, i really implore you to check out team fortress 2 classic

it's a fanmade mod that cuts out of a lot of modern tf2 stuff like cosmetics and comp and mvm and cuts all the classes' loadouts down to just a few weapons

but it also adds a small chunk of really good content, like a couple of original weapons (a super shotgun for pyro, an explosive minigun for heavy) and cut tf2 content (nailgun for scout, tranquilizer gun my beloved for spy, civilian class and VIP gamemode), 4-team gamemodes, some quality original maps, and also a new engineer building with relevant voice lines by Gianni Matragrano

it also has sprays which i desperately missed

it's a bit of a pain to download by virtue of being a source mod, but the instructions on the website are quite clear

i really really want the player count up because its so so nice to play such a simple, fun version of tf2, which is honestly a super bloated game now

[luigi-mcdingle]

Resident Evil 7 is My Favorite Resident Evil and Here's Why

I really feel like Resident Evil 7 is the perfect Resident Evil game because it does what any other long-running franchise can only DREAM of: Successfully combines elements from the old and new eras of the franchise into a cohesive whole that appeals to both veterans and newcomers of the series; I consider it the genetically perfect lovechild of Resident Evils 1 and 4

From the original Resident Evil, it takes the claustrophobic, otherworldly, yet familiar atmosphere and environment; it takes the head-scratchingly absurd puzzles; it takes the slow, methodical exploration and high-stakes combat encounters

From Resident Evil 4, it takes the fast-paced action, the shocking scope, the environmental storytelling, and the almost arcadey "video game" moments that somehow fit seamlessly into the world

And for good measure, it throws in its own dose of unique weapon handling, a compelling cast of antagonists, and of course the first-person perspective which does wonders for the game's atmosphere of dread and panic

I really love Resident Evil 7 and doubt anything Capcom goes for could pull off the magic mix of elements that made it nearly perfect

Addendum: There's also the Chris epilogue chapter which I recently put some thought into and realized it's really unlike any previous Resident Evil experience; the closest equivalent is maybe 6 with the atmosphere of 2? But then I realized it's actually way closer to the Resident Evil movies than anything else, like if the movies received their own tie-in game - I don't have much more to say on that, it's just an observation I made in retrospect

[luigi-mcdingle]

an additional note: kobolds can be placed in similar, if not identical, classifications

I've got some less-than-orthodox ideas about harpies, so let's get into that today

Historically, harpies are mythological creatures featured in plenty of ancient texts from Greece to Rome, known for being heralds of the wind, guardians of the sky, and/or creatures under the command of the deity of the writer's choice. They're usually depicted as winged bipedal things with the face of a woman.

In more recent times, harpies, like many ancient mythological creatures, have become a staple of the fantasy genre, especially in video games. In that medium and over the years, harpies have taken a number of forms that I've come to classify into three groups: Feral, Wild, and Domestic.

Feral harpies, like the one seen in this concept art for Dragon's Dogma, are closest to their original mythological incarnations, though leaning more on the "attack dog of the underworld" side of the mythos. They're monsters through and through, ugly, ravenous beasts who know only hunger and death-- good for introducing players to flying enemies.

Wild harpies, like this one from Dungeons & Dragons are more humanoid and intelligent. They've lived near civilized races and have picked up the concepts of language and socializing, but still aren't typically to be trusted. This is the most common form of harpy seen in tabletop RPGs, and they more ably embody the myths that view harpies as greedy and treacherous; you'll often see wild harpies coveting shiny objects and stealing from unwary travelers.

Domestic harpies are where I usually lose people.

Domestic harpies are usually not called "harpies", but otherwise check off all the marks: Winged bipedal creatures with humanoid faces that inhabit the winds and sky as their domain. Rito from Zelda, Avians from Starbound, hell, even the Birdpeople from Rick and Morty can be considered a cousin of harpies. I find it difficult to discern where else in historical storytelling these sorts of races could come from, but most people seem to not make the connection. Perhaps that's just a good indication of how storytelling and myth has evolved over the centuries.

oh, also, smash